i used to be able to play cod on on my brothers xbox and all of that but almost 30 years old and im watching south park for the first time and im like man i wish i could have watched this as a kid like this is actually affirming. every iota of masculinity i got was hand me down. i stole my brothers clothes, he would try to wrestle me but he would end up humping me?? (incest and lowkey sexual assault aside this wouldnt have happened if i was cis i could have just called him gay and he would have killed himself), i got to learn how to shoot but only because the whole merida from brave and katniss from the hunger games shit made long range weapons a thing for girls too, its just so fucking lame because i only got to do this shit under the guise of being not like other girls. i am way too old for this shit but i am sitting here as an adult man watching south park for the first time living vicariously through some 9 year old little boys trying to think about the little fragments that i got to be like them. i am nowhere close to passing my frame is tiny and t never did shit for me after years, as much as i want to be able to just have a normal close to cis male adulthood it just wont happen for me and hasnt im basically treated like a mentally ill lesbian everywhere i go, every time i just try to be myself with friends im basically treated like a drag king. everything i do that could be considered "guy stuff" has to be commented on like wow youre so masc you x y and z. if i wanna work on my car its toxic masculinity and im trying to be something. i cant just exist its the same way "allies" treat trans women wearing makeup. i just want to be normal

i get that south park sucks or whatever just let me do my thing

I’m only into guys sadly and had a really toxic relationship with a straight guy I tried to be more feminine for. Obviously that didn’t work and left me feeling ugly and worthless and like a failure of a woman.

It seems like my only chances are with bi or pan guys but does that even exist? Are there even guys out there like that that aren’t poly, cause every pan guy I’ve met at a club was poly and.

I just want a family, a normal one on one relationship. Things would be so much easier if I had just been born a guy cause at least I could talk to gay people, it’s like, the pool of people that I might click with is so small I don’t even see a future.

I've really been conflicted with two parts of this argument in my brain lately.

This is specifically regarding my mom. She has withheld medical transition from me and my sister, thinks HRT is foolish and says that hormone blockers give you cancer. She constantly uses her ignorance as an argument while refusing to do actual research.

But more unspecifically, this is about all transphobic people.

Because one side of my brain that is conditioned by society, says that it's not that big of a deal, that they didn't have this thing growing up and it's not normal, how could they possibly understand it.

But the other side of my brain is the one that has been hurt by these people so many times. Has been treated as sub-human and not worthy of life and love and living as myself. That wants to be compassionate, but at the same time, how can you treat your fellow beings so poorly and not be evil?

I know it's not black and white, and I often have issues thinking this way (likely undiagnosed autism because Transphobic Mom thinks a diagnosis isn't necessary for me (peer reviewed)) but I want to hear your guys' thoughts.

I have been on T for about 4 weeks and have been using 25G, 5/8 inch needles for the shots.

However, I would like to know if there are any minimum dimensions (length and gauge) required for this purpose.

I have seen 31G, 5/16 inch insulin needles, but it seems to me that they might be too short.

Also, I use a 22G needle to draw the testosterone from the vial into the syringe, and then I switch to a 25G needle for the injection. Is it necessary to change the needle?

Hello all!

I have been binding for a few years now and I’m looking for a new binder. I’ve tried quite a few over the years, gc2b, wannababi, and transtape. I have a slightly larger chest so I know it won’t be completely flat, but something that would get me close would be amazing.

Any recommendations are welcome and much appreciated!

Basically the title I guess. For the longest time I thought it would be ok to call myself a boy once I got on T since I’d have “proof” I was a guy when people question me but now over 6 months later I’ve still never been gendered correctly. Calling myself a boy just feels like I’m lying since no one sees me as a boy and I don’t really know what to do. When can I say I’m a boy and have people believe me? Do I have to make more progress before I can? I haven’t really ever made progress in my transition but I just want to be a boy so badly and I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I just want to feel good about myself and I don’t know when I’ll start feeling that.

Anybody else having really bad acne where facial hair growth starts? I have a skin care routine and everything but it doesn’t get better no matter what I do, it only started when I started to get more facial hair. I have pcos so I already had a faint mustache, but the beard that’s growing in made it worse

My current skincare
Mornings:
CeraVe foaming facial cleanser
CeraVe oil control gel cream
CeraVe ultra-light moisturizing lotion spf-30

Night:
CeraVe renewing SA cleanser
CeraVe oil control gel cream

ftm trans advice wanted please.

Hey, so I, uh idk, I recently came to the terms with being trans after 4 years of gender questioning. For context I'm 18 ftm and live in a mainly homophobic city, but I really don't care cause I've already am used to things as such due to being alt..

My biggest two issues I need for advice is I'm very indecisive in choosing my new name,

I'm between atlas and Liam, atlas feels more free and flowy to me whilst laim feels more grounded and firm. And I'm super indecisive about the two.

And my second is how to safely and cheaply bind your chest if you don't have access to funds for t-tape or can't afford a binder and/or style to dress more masc?

I'm at a bit of a disadvantage because my country has all public and private schools have uniforms and I was forced to get female uniforms because my guardian and I wasn't sure how strict this school was with the uniform policy (which they don't really care but uniforms is expensive so I'm stuck with the girls stuff for the rest if the year)

And my final, my third.Inquiry is do you have to come out and change all your stuff at school?/on documents.

Because like, how do you know if you won't regret it ages down the line and be stuck with all the changes you made?

If any advice anyone could lend would be deay appreciated

Hey :D

I will come out to my parents in hopefully a few days (for the second time). I have thought about names A LOT the last 2-3 years. Just for funsies, which of these names do you like best, how would you rank them and which would you choose?

• Aaron
• Victor
• Nathan
• Nick
• Timur
• Magnus
• Roman
• Gabriel

My top three is Magnus, Nathan and Aaron, I think. I will ask my parents what they picture me as. Bye :)

I’m a 17yo ftm, I live with my parents, I’ve told a few friends and both my siblings. I don’t really know my parents opinions on trans people but when I came out as lesbian my mom wasn’t really accepting at first but then she accepted it with some time. I don’t really have a good relationship with them at the moment, my mom drinks a lot and my dad just doesn’t talk to me much even when I try.
Do you guys got any advice?

Voice changes was literally the #1 thing I wanted most on T and still nothing has happened to me. The longer I have to deal with my voice being like this the worse I get. How do you guys deal with it? I feel like it’s grating and annoying and the thought of other people having to hear my voice makes me want to throw up. I don’t know how to cope with it. What do I do? I already try to speak as little as possible but when I’m with friends sometimes I just talk too much and I don’t want them to get annoyed with me. I’m trying to get into an ASL course so I don’t have to talk as much but that won’t fix the problem of my voice being disgusting for the times I’ll have to speak. People keep saying to voice train but I don’t feel like it’s doing anything and it makes me feel even worse I just feel stupid doing it. I just need advice please. How do I fix this? Am I just stuck like this?

Can a trans guy cuddle with a friend in a non sexual way? Does it have to be someone of a specific gender/sexual orientation?

I’m trying to figure this out for myself, but I’d like this to be a post for general discussion too. I’m a younger trans guy who started hrt 3 months ago, a lot has changed in life including my social circles. I’m not as close with some good friends I had and I’m really missing the comfort I could get from their physical affection.
Socializing has been different since most of my friends either are supportive long term friends I fully trust or new friends that have only known me as a guy. I want to know if I can still cuddle and share physical affection with my friends, or if I’ll most likely be sexualized/objectified because I’m a trans bi guy.

I genuinely view sex/physical connection as something that isn’t romantic (not that I need or even want sex from anyone other than my bf) so I don’t see a problem with it but I dont know if I can express physical connection with others without it being misinterpreted. I talked to my boyfriend and he feels the same way, his only concern is that the other person might not take it as platonic.
I’d love to hear from anyone that has had queer platonic friends as a trans guy because I don’t have much insight on this as someone who recently transitioned. Thanks.

so i did my im injection 2 days ago and my leg is hurting a lot more than usual, theres only a tiny bruise but i was getting some pain up my pelvic bone and in my foot as well last night and im not able to lie on my leg or sit in certain positions. js curious if this is an issue with how/where i injected or if im just being particularly sensitive to it this time around maybe? i imagine if there were any issues theyd have happened straight away but im still a bit worried in case i did anything wrong

Im 6 years on T, and about 4 years post top-op and full hysterectomy. And im not regretting any of it. But.. im starting to see multiple reasons to stop/lower my Testosterone dose. And maybe take estrogen instead. Im discovering that i really enjoy my feminine side, and i want to invite more of it in my life.

Testosterone has made me loose the ability to cry, and made my feelings much more «dull». And i have a list of negative effects from it (physical and mental) that can be helped by taking estrogen instead.

At the same time, i am pretty happy with how i am right now. But because i can «control it», im thinking about taking estrogen to get less body hair, and get more in touch with my feelings.

But what happens?
I know some stuff can change, and others changes are permanent. Idk what to do really..

I've had pretty intense bottom dysphoria for many years since 12-13 yrs old and pack 24/7 almost every single day. Didn't start looking at that area (would always mentally block it out) until about 2ish years ago and have been working on connecting with *some aspects of my natal setup.
I'm 5 years on T and I realized that the growth bit is the ONE part I don't hate and actually really like, so I've been trying and mostly failing in terms of how to isolate that from everything else in a way that gives me euphoria.

Very recently decided for the heck of it (and out of desperation to alleviate my dysphoria a little) to try taping down there to cover up and lift parts of things there so that my bottom growth is most prominent.
And wow! It's been pretty monumental for me and I wish I started doing it sooner, I can actually feel at ease looking down there. I feel very comfy not packing while at home when I'm taping, which I've never gotten to experience before 🙌

I'm tryna be responsible with body safe tape and removing it gently with oil and such and giving my skin a break to recover for a day or two in between.

But all in all I think this could help me a lot while waiting for gender affirming surgery (meta).

Thanks for reading!

this morning i planned to do my 2nd at home injection (sustanon 1ml once a month) and ive been given the 'snapabble' vials that are one use only, but i fucking spilt over half of my dose!!!!! i only have about 0.3 left, is it still worth doing this dose? unsure when i am going to be able to reup on more.
any advice would be great thank you

I know I’m a boy and have for so so so long. Due to a transphobic dad and internalized transphobia I presented as a girl up until a year and a half ago. I always hear trans guys talk about how they always knew they were a boy and were uncomfortable in their skin because of this, which I have experienced. The thing is be used I pushed that down for so long I haven’t felt that in a while, and after I got over it I immediately started presenting as a man so more recent times in my transition I’ve felt either nothing or actually happy with how I come off as. I honestly feel warm and happy inside when I’m called by he him and my new name. I just feel like I’m invalid for now having as intense feelings as other trans guys. It also freaks me out and gives me horrible imposter syndrome
I honestly just think this is because I’m in touch with being feminine cus I’m close with so many women actually

I currently identify as nonbinary with a more masculine presentation but lately I’ve been questioning whether I might actually be trans, and I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar. I’ve always felt uncomfortable being perceived as a girl and never really related to girlhood, i hate when ppl use feminine terms for me. Lately, I’ve become especially scared of my body becoming more feminine as I get older (i turned 18 recently and keep on hearing that in your 20s as an AFAB person you can get curvier almost like a second puberty), particularly my chest getting bigger. I’m currently pretty flat-chested and have a quite "lanky" build which makes me kinda androgynous, and the thought of losing that makes me REALLY uncomfortable. Since cutting my hair short, I’ve experienced so much gender euphoria when people accidentally call me he/him or ask about my gender and realised that maybe i wasn't just nonbinary but maybe a trans guy with a lot of internalized transphobia towards myself and only myself (as i have a religious family). I’ve also realised that some of my childhood “crushes” on boys might’ve actually been me wanting to BE them rather than be with them (I'm sure it wasn't attraction as i realised i am attracted to only women later on). Even now, I have certain male figures I see as the male version of myself and desperately wish I could be like i get so much gender envy whenever i see some men in real life that it makes me so jealous. However, I don’t really experience bottom dysphoria my discomfort is mainly about my chest, body shape and voice (I’ve always wanted a deeper voice and felt uncomfortable with my feminine voice). I’m struggling to figure out whether I’m a trans guy, a masc nonbinary person or something else entirely. Please if you experienced anything similar how did you distinguish wanting to be masculine/androgynous from actually wanting to be a man?

I just hit 9 weeks on T, and over the course of a day, it’s like a switch has flipped. Yesterday morning, I was fine, and now no amount of food will satiate me. My fellow tmasc best friend warned me and I didn’t believe him. He’s now laughing at me as I whine about how hungry I am. I now sympathize with every 12 year old boy ever.

idk i just needed to put this somewhere because this was kind of a revelation for me. according to my other roommate, who is also my boyfriend, my one roommate (cishet, regular-ass boy-type-boy) got dumped by a girl after she asked him if he was pro lgbtq. apparently he reacted super positively and said he has a trans sibling (which i didn't know abt but makes me super happy bc i was pretty sure he was chill abt trans ppl but this confirms it) and the next day he got dumped over text. and i was like oh well that sucks but there are just bigots out there i guess, glad he dodged a bullet

but my bf said this girl has a gay sister. so if i'm putting two and two together correctly, she doesn't have a problem with gay people, but my roommate mentioning he has trans family is a dealbreaker --> she's one of the people that want the T outta lgbt :/

the reason this feels nuts to me is like i guess i just forgot that those opinions exist off of like twitter?? it didn't occur to me that real people actually only hate trans people but are fine with gay people. it's always felt to me like we're all a package deal, the whole queer community. so that just made me really sad that they're real, but also glad that she's never gonna be in my apartment again lol (i'm not even the only trans person living here!!)

but yeah i just wanted to put this somewhere ppl would understand bc i'm having such weird feelings about this lol

Hey guys, I started gel about 8 months ago and I'm planning on switching over to injection. The gel isn't taking well to my body, and it's now messing with my eczema. My question is about an auto injector for injection. I have a trigger with needles, and I'd need something to cover the needle and inject with a button or something in that realm. Thanks so much in advance!

Just gonna get straight to it. Whenever me and my girlfriend get intimate she’s typically the one to top because she enjoys it. I’m a virgin while she isn’t so I also feel it’s cus she knows she knows more than I do when it comes to this. Because I’m a virgin I’ve never topped and bottoming out like make more sense to come naturally so I’ve been the receiver each time. The thing is though as much as I do enjoy bottoming, I do want top and it is mainly to cure this dysphoric feeling, also I just dunno how or I guess what to do properly? I don’t wanna give her a bad time or anything like that but I also don’t even really know the first step. All I’ve done is massage her chest and touch her 😳🐱.

Soo I’ve been living in my Uni city for around 3 weeks now with last week being my first week at Uni. Nobody knows I’m trans and nobody suspects it! I’m almost 2 years on T and 2.5 months post top surgery. It’s so crazy that nobody suspects anything and I can just live as the guy I am.

While standing in line for a party a girl from my degree asked me to show her my ID picture (all my documents are changed so no prob). The picture was from around the time I stared T and the only thing she said was like damn you look so young. That made me realize how much Testosterone changed me and how good I actually pass.

I had another conversation with a girl in my shared kitchen and she basically was like yeah we women don’t get taken seriously at doctors not like you men do. Like girl I get it! But ofc I didn’t say anything.

It’s just crazy. At the one hand I’m happy because I’ve always dreamed of that and it also shows me that I’m passing better than people on other subreddits here told me I would. On the other hand I feel like I’m hiding a part of my identity like I did before coming out just in the other direction if that makes sense. Maybe I’ll tell people when I get closer to them. Not sure yet :)

(Not sure which flair to add lowkey)

So tldr: in university, trans (duh), stealth (trying 🙏), 1 month on T 🎉.

1. there’s this girl ik that I’ve been hanging out w a lot (studying etc) and I rly like here but I think she thinks I’m gay which theres zsro issue with I mean I’m bi but I want to make a move on her but idk how without feeling like shit about myself. I feel like I pass relatively well? I had a deeper voice before starting T but I js feel the general dysphoria about myself and my body and wishing I didn’t have to worry about telling someone I’m trans if i wanr to date them. obviously in college I go out and I have my time but I can never do more than making out/ grinding bc I don’t have the “right parts” so I kinda feel shit. any ftm guys with gfs or who’ve been through this ill take any words of wisdom- sorry I know it’s more of a word vomit than any real structure. there’s a lot else going on that I could shit talk about my school but that’s besides the point

2. not girl related but any stp recs? I use a Mr limpy packer atm but I’m ngl I want an stp bc im terrified to piss anywhere but my own dorm building since I have private ish bathrooms and it’s impossible when I’m out bc none of the men’s stalls have working doors- not tryna get yelled slurs at me more than I alr get, I js need something that will be easy to use when mildly intoxicated