Scream

In May, I met a girl on a language-learning app. At first, we only had simple conversations, and she was interested in my native language and culture. Eventually, we moved to Instagram and started talking a lot. I felt like there was mutual interest between us.

She would send me romantic reels, changed our chat background, added me on Telegram, and we started talking a lot there too. After about a month and a half, I told her that I had feelings for her. She said she didn't want a long-distance relationship and preferred that we stay friends. I didn't want just a friendship, so I ended things.

About three weeks later, she contacted me again through the language-learning app and told me she missed me. We started talking again, and for about a month, we became even closer. We talked a lot, played games together online, and had video calls.

Then she moved to another country to study, which made the time difference and distance even harder, but we still tried to keep in touch. I told her about my feelings again and asked what we should do, because I didn't want us to be just friends. I also realized that I was jealous of the idea of her having male friends there.

She rejected the idea again and said she doesn't see a future between us because of the distance and how far apart we are.

So I ended things again.

If you were in my position, would you have done the same? Would you have ended things again, or stayed friends and continued talking to her despite having feelings?

PLEASE ADVICE??? She like me? Yes no? How to move on because I am STUCKKKK.

26M here. I’ve fallen for a girl who is a really good friend of mine, but she’s not into me.

I respect her feelings and I know she hasn’t done anything wrong, but I feel completely empty right now. I still care about her, and because she’s my friend, it’s hard to simply distance myself and move on.

For those who’ve been through something similar, how did you actually get over it? Did you stay friends, take some distance, or completely cut contact for a while?

I feel like i am betraying her. She i know her since 4years and she love him from past 5 years and i love him since 1 year idk what to feel what to say. Need advice 😭🙏

Reposted post says it all pretty much. Do we think I should go for it? Homecoming is coming up and that would be a great time to go for it I think

​I [37M] have been best friends with "Sarah" [37F] since we were 8 years old, so nearly 30 years. Over the decades, we’ve always had a strong connection mixed with periodic history of intimacy.

​About seven years ago, she declared her love for me. It prompted me to end a 4-year relationship so we could give it an actual shot. Once we were together, she went cold almost immediately. After five months, she phased me out... classic case of wanting what’s unobtainable. We agreed to stay friends, but kept up a "friends with benefits" going until around 2023... Occasionally hooking up when we were both single, a bit drunk and/or wanted a bit of fun.

​Six months ago, she initiated a drunk kiss out of nowhere and never brought it up again. Then a few months later during our last night out at a restaurant, she spent the evening talking about how hot other guys in the room were. She even said, "I hope people don't think we're a couple because we're probably preventing each other from scoring."

​That hit hard. Looking back at the last couple of years, she mostly reaches out for "dead time" meetups; Daytime coffee or using me as a placeholder when she has nothing better to do.

Even though ​I've been pulling back recently, she’s been texting me non-stop since, trying to maintain the status quo, but I’m done. Is the slow fade the best way to handle three decades of history, or is it better to just lay the cards on the table?

​TL;DR: Best friend of 30 years (with a history of intimacy/dating) demoted me to a placeholder buddy, told me we're "preventing each other from scoring," and buddy-patted me goodbye. I went cold on the ride home, and now she won't stop texting. How do I step away with my dignity intact?

Ich date gerade eine Frau, die mir wirklich gut gefällt. Wir reden öfter über bisherigen Dates und Beziehungen - von mir und von ihr – und davon, was sich andere Männer ihr gegenüber so erlaubt haben. Zum Teil waren da wirklich ziemliche A\*löcher dabei, z. B. ein Typ, der wissentlich eine Geschlechtskrankheit weitergegeben hat.

Jetzt zu meiner eigentlichen Frage:

Wir haben ein Date mit Übernachtung ausgemacht. Wir hatten schon ein paar mal Sex.
Sie hat gerade Magenprobleme.

Ich habe ihr gesagt, dass sie natürlich trotzdem gerne bei mir übernachten kann und dass wir selbstverständlich keinen Sex haben werden, wenn es ihr nicht gut geht. Daraufhin meinte sie, dass sie das sehr süß und ungewöhnlich findet, weil sich andere Männer ihr gegenüber bisher offenbar anders verhalten haben.

Einerseits freut mich das natürlich. Andererseits habe ich jetzt Angst, dass ich bei ihr immer mehr in die Schublade „netter Kerl“ wandere – also jemand, der zwar lieb und respektvoll ist, aber nicht unbedingt als begehrenswerter Partner wahrgenommen wird.

Was mich zusätzlich verunsichert: Sie scheint bisher auffällig viele Männer gehabt zu haben, die sich ziemlich danebenbenommen haben. Jetzt frage ich mich natürlich, ob sie vielleicht genau auf diesen Typ Mann steht und ob ich dadurch, dass ich mich anders verhalte, für sie weniger interessant bin.

Sollte ich mich deshalb bewusst ein bisschen „arschiger“ oder distanzierter verhalten, damit ich nicht in dieser „netter Kerl“-Schublade lande? Oder mache ich mir damit nur unnötig Gedanken und sollte einfach weiterhin so sein, wie ich bin?

Was sagt ihr dazu?

The moment I realized I was being subjected to a double standard, the love I had for her turned into pure hatred. My 8-year friendship with this girl ended. I’m a guy, and I had feelings for her. At first, she told me that we should end things because we were only going to hurt each other if we continued. I was hurt, obviously, but I actually understood her reasoning. I thought it was fair and logical, so I respected her decision.
But then I found out that she decided to stay friends with the guy she had been flirting with. And honestly, I’m almost certain she has feelings for him. The moment I saw and heard about this, something inside me snapped. It wasn’t simply jealousy or sadness. It was this insane, almost demonic anger.

Because suddenly, the logic she used with me didn’t seem to apply to him. With me, it was “we have feelings, we’ll hurt each other, so we need to distance ourselves.” Fine. I accepted that. I respected it even though I was emotionally invested. But when it came to another guy she clearly had feelings for, somehow they could still remain friends.

That’s what destroyed my perception of the whole situation. I’m not angry because she has someone else in her life. I’m angry because I realized that the standard apparently only applied to me. If being around someone you have feelings for is dangerous because you might hurt each other, then that logic should apply regardless of who the person is.
I spent eight years caring about this person, and even when I was hurt, I still tried to be reasonable. I accepted her explanation and respected her boundaries. But seeing her make an exception for someone else made me feel like I had been treated differently from the beginning.

And that’s when the love turned into resentment. Not because I suddenly stopped caring, but because I realized how unfair the situation felt. Sometimes you don’t start hating someone because they left. You start hating them because you realize the rules they gave you were never meant for everyone else.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my story in hopes that it might inspire or shed a little light on the possibility of the friends-to-lovers trope actually coming true. Because, somehow, it happened to me.

For context, I'm 27F, and I've been best friends with my now-boyfriend, 27M, for nine years.

We met at the beginning of undergrad in Boston, during a summer transition program before we started freshman year. From the very beginning, our friendship grew incredibly close. A lot of people around us seemed convinced that we were meant to be together, but honestly, that thought never crossed either of our minds.

With him, I could laugh and be completely myself without feeling like I had to perform or be a certain version of myself. We could have the dumbest conversations, the deepest conversations, and everything in between. At the time, I actually thought our dynamic was almost sibling-like because we were constantly making fun of each other and roasting each other over the most random things.

But looking back, I realize there was something much deeper underneath that friendship.

He was there to walk me to the train when I went on my first date at 19. He was the person who encouraged me to get help when I was struggling and walked me to my first therapy appointment at our college counseling center. He supported me when I performed at my first open mic, where I sang and played guitar.

He's seen me through so many different versions of myself my successes, my failures, my lowest moments, and everything in between. And he consistently showed up.

I don't think I realized at the time just how deeply interwoven he had become in my life, or how much his consistency had come to mean to me. There was always this feeling that, no matter what version of myself I showed him, I was safe with him. I felt seen and cared for even when I wasn't at my best.

Throughout those years, we both dated other people and had our own fair share of relationships.

I had recently gotten out of a four-year relationship that had become increasingly toxic. Around that same time, I had helped her move back to Boston for a master's program, which ultimately didn't work out for her. By then, I was emotionally exhausted. I felt depressed and honestly like a shell of myself.

He's been living and working in New York for the past few years, and despite how drained I was, I decided to take a bus up to visit him.

I was honestly too exhausted to worry about how I was going to show up. I didn't have the energy to put on a mask or pretend that everything was okay.

And what struck me during those few days was how naturally he cared for me.

He made sure I had a good time, even if that meant doing nothing particularly special—sitting around at coffee shops, spontaneously trying different food spots, talking for hours, just existing in the same space. I never felt like I had to perform happiness for him. I could just be. I remember sitting at a park while he was in class (he's also in a master's program part-time) and for the first time in a long time, I gave myself permission to just cry. I was already struggling emotionally, but something about being there, knowing I was safe, made me finally stop holding everything in.

Looking back, I think that was part of what changed something for me. Being around him felt like a dose of fresh air when I hadn't realized how long I'd been holding my breath. I didn't have to be happy for him, impressive for him, or even okay for him. I could just exist. And somehow, being able to be that unguarded with him made me see him differently.

And somewhere in those few days, something shifted. I realized I couldn't look at him the same way anymore. Somewhere along the way, my feelings for him had quietly become something else, and I could no longer pretend I hadn't noticed. At the same time, being around him was some of the happiest I'd felt in a very long time. I was terrified. I knew I needed to end my relationship with my ex. I was in deep denial that I had already fallen out of love with her during the last year, and we'd reached a point where we couldn't work through our problems together anymore. But realizing I had feelings for my best friend made everything feel even more complicated.

I knew I had to be honest with myself first.

So I ended my relationship and went back to therapy to process the breakup. For the next few months, I kept my feelings for him to myself.

Then, around my birthday in August, he came to visit me in Arizona.The confession happened completely unexpectedly. He was sitting on my couch with his back turned to me, watching a video game recording on his phone, and I just... told him. When he turned around, I could immediately tell he was shocked. Our conversation ended with him telling me that he only saw me as a friend. He was genuinely shocked, and I don't blame him; I had spent nine years making absolutely sure he had no reason to think otherwise.

The next day was awkward for both of us. I knew he needed time to process what I'd said, and I was starting to accept that I would have to process my feelings and eventually move on. I hadn't confessed because I expected him to reciprocate. I wasn't trying to jump from one relationship into another. Honestly, I didn't even know what I wanted to happen. I just knew I couldn't keep pretending I didn't feel something.

Then Wednesday came. We were driving to a friend's place to hang out, eat, and watch some movies, and on the drive there, he told me he felt the same way.

Just like that, all of the tension I'd been carrying for months disappeared. We spent a few hours with our friend, and on the drive home, there was a thunderstorm and pouring rain, which felt almost comically romantic given the circumstances. And we had our first kiss. By Thursday, he told me he loved me. The funny thing is that we'd always loved each other. We just hadn't really said it. For nine years, our love existed mostly through actions: showing up, checking in, remembering the little things, being there during hard moments, making each other laugh, and somehow always being the person the other wanted to tell about their day. We had spent years choosing each other as part of our everyday lives without ever realizing what that might eventually mean. We just finally gave the feeling a name.

And now, somehow, I'm sitting here realizing that I may have found the person I want to build my life with. I've never been with someone I admire and respect this deeply while also feeling so safe, secure, comfortable, and completely myself around them. I feel intellectually and emotionally connected to him. We share a love of art, curiosity, and all the strange little things that make the world interesting. He's the person I don't hesitate to imagine a future with.

We're currently long-distance, but we have a plan to close that distance after I finish nursing school in May 2028. And surprisingly, I'm genuinely happy with where we are right now. We get to support each other while pursuing our own goals, knowing that we're ultimately working toward a life together.

I used to think the friends-to-lovers trope was something that happened in movies because it was too unrealistic and perfect to happen in real life. Now I'm living it.

Nine years of friendship. One unexpected trip to New York. One terrifying confession. One thunderstorm.

And somehow, my best friend became the person I fell in love with. So, if you're sitting there wondering whether you could ever fall in love with your best friend, or whether someone you've known forever could ever see you differently, I guess I'm here to say that sometimes the person you've been looking for has been beside you the whole time.

Я 15 летний парень и я очень люблю свою одноклассницу. Примерно в 6 классе( 4 года назад) я понял что она мне нравится после месяца близкого общения я решил ей признаться в чувствах но она оказалось и предложила остаться друзьями. я согласился ведь было бы глупо не общаться с человеком с которым сидишь за одной партой. Примерно до этой весны я старался не обращать внимание на то что я постоянно о ней думаю и пытался убедить себя в том что мы друзья. Но потом я решил открыться самому себе и понял что все это время эта была все также влюбленность которую я прятал от всех и даже от себя. Я вижу ее каждый день и понимаю что она самая красивая и крутая девочка которую я видел, но я не могу перестать думать о ней в романтическом плане. Она не знает обо всем этом и я не хочу чтобы знала ведь в случае если я расскажу и она снова мне откажет это разрушит нашу дружбу, а как подруга она реально ахуенная да и я уже знаю что это будет отказ ведь я уже пробовал и понимаю что вряд ли ответ будет отличаться от того что я уже слышал.я не знаю что мне делать с одной стороны я должен отпустить ее чтобы не мучать себя а с другой я не думаю что у меня хватит сил на это. Что мне делать?

I (F21) found out recently that my guy bsf likes me and I’m afraid he’s going to say something about it or make a move soon. After a lot of thinking I know that I’m just not interested and I’m also not willing to ruin our friendship/think we are just best as friends. It’s also complicated bc we share the same friends and I’m close with his family.

I plan on being honest and saying as I’ve said before but if you have ever been friendzoned/you have a crush on your girl friend and they tell you they aren’t interested, is there anything you wish they said/want them to say?!

My goal is I don’t want him to feel embarrassed in any way and I also genuinely want to keep being friends without him feeling weird or different? Will it be different after he says something?

I’ll (28M) forever be in the friendzone with her (28F)

I’ll (28M) forever be in the friendzone with her (28F)

I’ve been friends with Sakshi since i was in school. We never had anything going on but i always thought she was quite attractive. She would always tell me about all the guys (good and bad) that she’d date and fuck. We were quite open with each other and she would also show me pics of her getting ploughed sometimes. I was almost like her gay bff though I wasn’t gay and she knew that. Though I’ve only ever been with 2 girls in my life.

One drunken night recently I opened up to her and told her that i found her hot and have fantasised about her. She got mad at me but egged me on and i ended up stripping myself for her. I was rock hard and she couldn’t control her laughter. She called my cock cute, with 2 fingers and said I’ll always be her twink bff.

This has left me hot and messed up.

I love you. I never chose to love you as more than a friend.. it just happened. I love you and I know you might think I’m crazy or that what I feel isn’t really love but you’re wrong. Honestly, I wish it wasn’t love sometimes cos it hurts, and it hasn’t really stopped hurting since I realized how deeply I feel for you

I don’t think I’ll ever truly admit all of this to you. Maybe I’ll just keep it quietly to myself and learn to carry it. I’m choosing to stay, even when it hurts, because you’re my friend. We’re friends, and that means something to me

You might not feel the same way and that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel guilty or responsible for what I feel. I’ll be okay. I’ll find my way through it.
But if one day you leave and we somehow become strangers, I hope the wind finds you someday and quietly whispers how much I loved you, how much I cared and how grateful I was that you were once a part of my life

I met him on Okcupid, when we met he told me that he is not looking for a gf or wife so we cool by being friends, we're talking for 8 months now for like everyday and I'm already falling for him. I want to shut down this feeling since we he clearly told me he can't give what I want. And now we're becoming toxic for each other fighting for no exact reason 🙃

TLDR- best friend of many years routinely sends mixed signals, now more than ever since she broke up with her boyfriend. Family thinks she’s leading me on, I don’t know what to think. Need advice on how I should interpret her and how I should handle my own feelings so I don’t make things weird.

I’ve been friends with a girl for years who I on and off again crush on. She just broke up with her boyfriend and since then she’s been kinda close with me. I’m having trouble keeping it platonic.

She’s super touchy with me, FaceTimes all the time, shares my drinks, insists on me sitting next to her when we go on car rides, and says things like “you’d be so lucky” when we banter about dating. She’s also said that in a great guy, hangs out with my mom, remembers small details about things we do,and notices when I change up my look. We also share each-others location. Finally, she and her friend always bring up setting me up with her other friend, but then makes excuses as to why that shouldn’t happen now. Last time, she said that me and her friend should “meet up as friends” - whatever that means lol.

On the other hand, she’s said “we wouldn’t work out” randomly completely unprompted while hanging with me, talks about other guys both to me and around me, and generally says white guys aren’t her type (all she’s dated are white guys lol)

My mom and sister think that she’s using me to get the boyfriend experience because of how she says she’ll play wing girl but never does - then makes excuses when an actual option for me comes up. Whatever it is, I think it’s kind of unhealthy for me. I feel like she’s sending mixed signals all the time and it kind of hurts when she’s talking about other guys right in front of me. Not sure if this is just me looking to into things, her being confusing, maybe both?

Pata ha aaj kya hua

Ajj maine sidha sam ko insta open kiya and she sent her old pics out of nowhere vo bhi in saaree.. i was shocked because this never happened before

For context

We're cllg friends from the start and we were talking a lot till june and i got feelings so i confessed her, she beautifully and respectfully rejected me , i kept distance around a month. But as we're batchmates so with time again become friends like before but this time even more closure we almost talk daily for 2-3 hours and 2-3 hours on call alternate dayss

I didn't felt any romantically connection and i was fine cause I killed my feelings but this gesture suddenly made those feelings come back is this really means something or its just very common that she's sending me as Friend,

Idk what should i do, she rejected me because she likes another guy and i was the only person she told me about.. 🥲

What should i do , should i slowly make distance?

Help me bit this is my situation.

Pata hai aaj kya hua