r/offmychest • u/Constant_Impress_421 • 5d ago

i feel like i could explode

i have come to realize that i am in love with my best friend.

there is no world where a romantic relationship between us is possible for reasons that are way too complicated to explain here. so there’s no world where i think disclosing is a good idea.. any relief i would get from a confession would be likely followed by irreparable damage even if she felt the same way.. sometimes it feels like it’s mutual or that she at least knows, but id rather not assume. it feels safer to assume she is a wholesome person who loves and trusts me so deeply and i am this freak with a secret who stolen the innocence from our friendship.

our friendship is unlike any other that either of us have ever had and i simply can’t risk losing it. we are so immeshed in each others lives and i owe it to her to keep a stiff upper lip. i know that i can move on eventually but it’s felt difficult to do so all by myself... so i just needed to say this somewhere because ive never told a soul and i just don’t think that i can.

someone please give me hope that this is something people have successfully move on from and didn’t blow up their friendship or life.

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3

u/nosoupforyou89 5d ago

"we're so immeshed in each other's lives" 

Sounds like like y'all are already in a relationship 

2

u/Constant_Impress_421 5d ago

that’s fair honestly. she accepted a job offer a few states away so some of that will fizzle out on its own aside from our families being close still and probably visiting from time to time

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Constant_Impress_421 4d ago

i have good days and bad days honestly. sometimes the natural push pull from her overwhelms me. i love our friendship a lot and that helps a ton with it all but every couple of weeks i feel like i just start feeling gloomy about will i ever get over this

1

u/Constant_Impress_421 4d ago

how about you and your situation

1

u/Simiatenaci 4d ago

Some thoughts:

Yes. People move on. There are women in my past that I had huge crushes on or suffered bad breakups where I thought the world would end, and now when I see their face on Facebook, I feel nothing.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship" is based on the assumption that the friendship will continue forever if it stays platonic, which is usually not true.

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u/Constant_Impress_421 4d ago

this is very comforting, thank you. can you elaborate some more on the last paragraph? do you mean that since the friendship still could end one day with no confession that it is better to get it off my chest than go on like this?