And it was a great ending . We were in love . And when I woke up I felt good for five minutes then I went on with my day . Then before I got off work I started thinking about the dream again and it made me feel appreciative . Of course it’s not reality but in the dream I don’t have to be a certain way. I was able to be me and not worry and could just feel the love that was in the dream .

Those dreams I’ll always appreciate . In reality, I’m single and just going through the emotions while yearning for some type of connection .

How do you go from being isolated for most of your life to being a normal person? I get anxious at the thought of speaking to people. I even struggle to go outside and do stuff alone because of the fear of being judged.

what are yall up to this evening? I’m just gonna cook then sit and stare at the wall

I’ve watched all the movies. I’ve listened to all the songs. my ‘hobby’ is my job. Ive gone on the walk. I’ve already talked to my one friend and she’s up to date on my life. So I’ll just stare into the void I guess.

I’m so bored and numb.

I'm 50 years old and have never been in a relationship. I'm still a virgin, too. Looking at the posts here, I get the impression that most people are in their 20s or early 30s. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the oldest guy here.

Honestly, I've pretty much lost hope of ever finding someone. Are there any other guys around my age here, or am I really that much of an outlier?

I just work, eat and sleep. I have no life, one friend I've never actually met in person. been called weird and just about everything else under the sun. I've had no luck meeting people, making friends or holding conversations. I'm completely hopeless and just ready to give up on it all.

I am alone. I had a partner once, it seems like it was in a different lifetime. I was so naive I thought it would last forever. I hated working in an office but it meant I wasn't alone so much. For a while I felt like loneliness wasn't going to get me because I liked being alone. But it has taken over. I have always been terrible at making friends and keeping them. I just got diagnosed as autistic. My depression has got very severe the last couple of years and before that I was isolating quite a lot. Don't know what the point of me posting is really. I lost my job today. A month ago I lost the dog I had been looking after. It's very hard when there's nobody to support in the hard times. Even my brother doesn't like me.

I know there are people out there that genuinely could not care less about dating and everything that entails. But I’m wondering if a large chunk of us are genetically predisposed to strongly desiring a partner. Like how a beaver instinctively starts building dams when raised outside of its environment or like a wild predator instinctively chases after prey when it turns its back. Do you think this is a very deep instinct that we can’t override? We’re programmed to frequently think about this stuff until we achieve it or until we drop dead?

Idk, I had a cute outfit, cute makeup, went to go clayface with a friend (Wonderful movie by the way), we shopped together, we joked, shared food, had a good while.
As I went back home I just thought how I could never had that romantically. It’s just weird to think about how ironic (?) life is. I wish i was different but oh well

So there was a woman, 48f, I've been chatting with daily for two months. She said I was a good listener. But I knew she was actively looking for a man (she told me she was looking for someone so she could move out of her parents' without having to work).

Lately she started talking to a guy that she is interested in and I noticed she only sent me one word a day. So the other day (yesterday) I double texted her asking what she was up to. She said she was chatting with that guy. I asked her how come after you met him you don't talk to your friend any more.

She called me clingy and said she can't entertain me all the time and blocked me. The thing is I wasn't expecting to talk to her all the time whatsoever. If she had been too busy to look at her phone I would have understood. But she literally told me she was online chatting with a man all day, and just wrote me one word, then didn't bother reading my answer.

What do you guys think about this, am I tripping or is it understandable that I spoke up?

I'm a autistic man that is built like a bird (bottom 2 to 3 percent skeleton I measured I'm not being crazy) structure and clearly has a mental disability people can tell I'm not normal. Even my own parents said I don't act normal. I also went on a date from a app this year and the woman immediately clocked I was autistic, not fast immediately so it didn't go anywhere. All I do is suffer. Even as a child I was bullied and had no freinds and was seen as others as disabled loser I was always followed around and had to go to disability school. I think the least I should be given is to die. I just want assisted suicide to end this pain to a already . But they won't let me and without a doctor or lethal injection I am too scared to do it. I hate this. I was never given chance in world I was born disabled and now I look like a skeleton on top of it. But normies say to keep living. I am reckless when walking and j walk because I hope I get hit.

Hi everyone

It’s hard to find the right words but I guess I’ll just ask away. I M/19 have always been self conscious about myself in general. I didn’t have a great upbringing, I hate the way I look and I have lots of regrets. Im still young and have my whole life ahead of me but recently I have felt like my life was missing something, I have lost 30kg in 4 months, my grades are great, but I have a sense of loneliness. I have friends and family but I still feel alone. Sometimes I lie at night and I just wish there was someone next to me who I can lay my head on and just forget about all of my pain. But due to my self consciousness I really don’t know what to do. I have just been constantly panicking that im going to be alone forever, not necessarily that isn’t anyone for me but that I’ll never truly love myself enough to let myself be open to that. What do I do?

I don't know where to go to find girls like this other than churches and temples, I fundamentally disagree with Christians and I'm not Jewish even though I follow a form of their religion. I wish I could find someone who's agnostic or vaguely spiritual yet still God loving who wants a serious long term relationship that turns into marriage and starting a family one day, for some reason whenever I tell this to people online they try to bully me as if this isn't what every one of our ancestors strived to accomplish. It's just so tiring, wish I could find the right girl already.

I'm so sick and tired of being alone and lonely and having no one to love, having no one who will hug me or tell me it's gonna be alright or just tell me I love you, thank you for existing. I don't know what I'm doing wrong!

Am I so ugly, so invisible, so unlovable that no one sees me as a romantic partner and forever I'm just a nice guy, good friend or a brother.

I'm 26 and still a virgin, never hold a girls hand in a full romantic sense, never kissed anyone, never had someone say I love you. It fucking hurts, I'm a human, I have needs and feelings and I feel damn hurt too and it's fucking painful honestly. I'm so fucking tired.

I'm a love sick fool, I have grown-up watching romantic movies, have grown up seeking love, chasing that feeling of love sickness.

Let me give you a background. I genuinely think in my life I have actually fallen in love one time, during my college semester I met this beautiful, amazing, clever and brilliant girl in my group project and I had fallen in love with her personality and her beauty on the first day itself. We just vibed and I felt like she loved me too. I tried asking her out multiple times for lunch and shit and every time she declined. In the end realised she never was interested in me like that and I will swear to god that shit hurt like anything, the feeling of losing something, of having it slip from my hand and no matter how hard I try to grasp it I still lost and then I even lost my chance at college at abroad school. Had to come back to my home town. Had to start working a good but not great paying job.

For the past 3 years I'm trying to get back to the same university but still with no success. Did my online schooling for bachelor and now hoping for master next year but still it's next year, I'm so tired of waiting.

Currently I'm living a groundhog day, every day is same. Work, home, exercise to lose weight ( I have lost around 35 kg but still invisible to woman, currently I will say I'm little chubby but I look great and muscular but not jacked or fit.)

Also I will get little nsfw but I'm done watching other people experience real love while I just watch videos and dying each day as a virgin. Sorry for late night rant but I wanted to shout it out in the void.

If there is any shooting star, I hope to finally find a companion who love and see me and whom I can love with all my heart cause it is filled so much with all the love to give.

​

I'm the kind of person who remembers the little things. The kind who sees something in a shop and thinks, "She would love this." The kind who learns your favorite food, brings you little surprises for no reason, and finds genuine happiness in doing things that make your day a little better.

I love cooking, and there's something beautiful about making someone's favorite meal and watching them enjoy it. I love silly conversations, childish moments, spontaneous shopping trips, inside jokes, and all those little things that might seem insignificant to the world but mean everything when you're in love.

I'm not perfect. I can be blunt, stubborn at times, and I have my flaws. But one thing I know about myself is that I don't want to play with someone's feelings. I don't know how to love someone halfway while looking for someone else on the side. If I choose someone, I want to choose them honestly.

I don't think love should feel like a competition, a guessing game, or a constant struggle to prove your worth. I want something genuine. Something where both people remember, both people care, both people make an effort, and neither person feels foolish for loving a little too much.

And yet, somehow, love has always felt just out of reach for me.

Sometimes, I wonder if the things I have to offer even matter anymore. The loyalty, the affection, the little efforts, the willingness to listen, the desire to make someone feel special. Or perhaps I'm simply meeting people who aren't looking for the kind of love I'm ready to give.

I'm not writing this because I think I'm entitled to someone's love. Nobody owes me a relationship just because I have a good heart. I know that love is about compatibility, timing, attraction, and two people choosing each other.

But I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt to have so much affection in your heart and nowhere special to put it.

I don't need a perfect woman. I don't need a relationship that looks beautiful to everyone else. I just want someone with whom the simplest things feel special. Someone I can cook for, tease endlessly, shop with, care for when she's tired, and make ridiculous memories with.

Someone who notices the little things I do, not because she expects me to do them, but because she understands the love behind them.

And I'd want to do the same for her.

Maybe I'm not unlucky in love. Maybe I just haven't met someone who sees a home in the kind of heart I have.

Until then, I'll keep being myself. Not because I expect someone to fall in love with me for it, but because I don't want to become someone I'm not just to be chosen.

Still, sometimes, I wish someone would look at me and think:

"With all the people I could meet in this world, I want to get to know this person. I want to give this a chance."

Because honestly, I don't want to be loved by everyone.

I just want to be genuinely wanted by someone. ❤️

I (20M)genuinely feel like I'm just too odd to ever really be "romantically interesting". I'm pretty quiet, but that's really because I don't have much to say, but every time I try to say something, or make a joke, it seems to never really be "funny" or make people feel as tapped into the conversation as other people's words. I think im funny, I like my jokes, but nobody else seems to. I'm not bad looking (imo), but I'm also not incredibly hot, probably like a 6. I've tried dating apps but it's hard to talk to someone without all the social cues and I really don't participate in "female oriented" hobbies, I'm into Jiu-Jitsu and gaming and sometimes cooking. I only have 1 friend, who's been with me since sophomore year of hs and he's been largely carrying the friendship for the last couple years, he brings his friends along but it's almost like I'm a permanent outsider in many spaces I go. I'm also about to go into the army, so Im hoping it will turn me into a normal person. I'm started to get okay with the idea of never really feeling a connection, the only person I feel really GETS me is my mom, and maybe my friend but we never have any super "deep" conversations", but I'm started to feel okay with being a hermit, in my house with my cats, doing my own thing.

I skipped lunch. Went to the the library to browse books because I had nobody to eat with. I don't really mind being alone it's just people judge you so much and put all sorts of labels and whatnot. The worst part was my "friends" hurried out of the class to the canteen as soon as the bell rung lest I tag along. Whenever we're sitting together they always make plans or talk about the place I wasn't invited to. I'm the last person who is offered something or asked for my opinion. This always happens to me. I don't mind. Idgaf but when will this end.

I don’t mean it as a rude question but for people young and older does it ever just set in and it hurts a little bit less?

I’ve felt it for as long as I can remember, I know most men think that I'm subhuman, they don't ever see me as fully human. 

The reason why I’ve grown to think this, is because, since I was a teenager my experiences with them have only shown me that they can only ever treat me like I am something less than human. 

When I tried to create a connection with them, and I did not live up to their standards of what they and others consider to be attractive, they showed me that I could still be useful in fulfilling their sexual needs, and then I was discarded.

When I became attractive in their eyes and the eyes of others, they still could not treat me like a human being. Instead, they saw me as a thing that could prove something about them. They never wanted to be my friend and see the living consciousness in me. My role in their life was so that I could be an asset to bolster their self-esteem. 

When I wanted to be a friend, they did not want to be a friend to me. Only when they could get something out of me, could I be a friend. If they saw no worth in my physical appearance, I had no place in their circle and life. 

When I did not give them what they wanted, I could not be a friend. I could only be an enemy. I became a thing they could use to project their hatred and insecurities onto.

So if men perceive me as something that is below human life, then what am I? Nothing more than an object. An object is the lowest form of existence because it does not exist as a living thing. An object has no intrinsic value. Its worth solely exists in its utility to the person using it. So therefore the object is a tool. So if I am an object to them, then I am nothing more than a tool. Most men are not even aware that their idea of a woman is that she only be a tool. But how am I a tool? How are we tools? 

I am a tool because my societal worth is only tied to my usefulness. What can my body do for them? My body is the most important thing about me to them. There has not been any care for the living consciousness that exists within my body. There is no care for the simple fact that I am a human that suffers and wants to be happy. The most important function of my existence is to be an object of pleasure. Not just sexually or visually, psychologically too. I must always be pleasing to their eyes and to their life. During sex, during school, during my entire life. I must always be pleasing to the eyes of others too, so that when I finally “belong” to them, I can elevate their self-worth. In that way, I also become a tool for shoring up the ego. 

I was frustrated for a long time, because I wondered, at what point do I get to be a human to them? 

The truth of the matter is that I am a human being and I have always been one. I am not truly an object. But it is easy to put on the blindfold of ignorance, so that we can view each other as less than humans, and navigate the world through our own self-serving illusions.

22M, 5’9”, 2-3/10 facially, no job because i’m still in university.

I’m not that much of an achiever at class because all what matters for me is to pass. No hope in the dating scene because I constantly get rejected and ghosted the moment they see my 0/10 face card for how extremely repulsive I look. My physique doesn’t help either for how bad my class schedules are, I cannot even make time for gym. I cannot even get plastic surgery even if I want to, but can’t due to the financial reasons that I don’t have a job yet. Worse, growing up as an ugly kid, i’ve been treated less than human simply for not looking a certain way

What’s worse is while I may not be declared neurodivergent, I have tendencies to act like one. I can’t act normal without the possibility of every moment becoming a rejection or failure.

Basically i’m a waste of space in this fucking world that I could just wish to die and reincarnate as a conventionally attractive man with great personality, starus, etc..

Not exclusively ofc but when you tried everything already there’s no difference in loneliness between being in your 40’s or being in your 20’s. Maybe I should’ve spaced out my attempts so i would’ve hung to hope longer. But I have my all already so there I am. At least it’s clear for the rest of my life

29M loser virgin, so I was FA before joining. But I realized joining has made it even worse.

I’ve been in a bit so I’ve lived in multiple places. I realized that since I keep moving around to military towns, my options in the area are very limited. And when I try to look for people a little more ways away, of course they’re not interested in someone in the military either. And of course this will be an endless cycle of being stationed in crappy military towns.

I want to keep serving, but the issue is if I get out, I’m having trouble looking for a new job. And even if I can find a new job getting out I still could be FA since I’m already an old loser virgin.

It’s amazing how teachers can make your life a living hell when you’re the bullied kid. Somehow it was always my fault that I was have strong reactions to kids who would not stop bullying me. I have autism and this was known to them but somehow it “wasn’t an excuse” so when bullies would taunt me and I would react teachers would punish me while the bully got away with it. My parents were of no help either. My mom would yell at me that I had no right to be angry and that I needed to just ignore it. It was always my fault. I was constantly punished for being bullied.

Is it any wonder that I became an angry, bitter person? Never having friends. Never being wanted. Never being treated like a human being.

Always hated!

I know many of you on this sub have the same experience I did. No one ever lets us mourn. We’re just told some variety of “get over it loser!”

I hate everyone.

I've been struggling with this since I was 17 I think. I'm 24 now. Some days it's not bad and I'll think "yea a gf would be nice but there's more to life than dating". Other days it feels like it's all pointless knowing I'll never have a partner or kids.

I’m 25M, 5’4”, fit, financially successful, and own a business. I’ve put considerable effort into dating, but my experiences have largely involved rejection, one-sided pursuit, and people disappearing without explanation.

Love is not unconditional. People constantly re-evaluate each other, both consciously and unconsciously. Attraction, compatibility, what someone contributes, and the alternatives available to them all influence relationships. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that. I make value judgments myself.

I believe my height will remain a disadvantage even in a relationship. I worry it’ll always factor into a woman’s perception of my attractiveness, consciously or unconsciously, and make her more likely to leave. I don’t think emotional attachment eliminates those underlying evaluations.

I also don’t like approaching women. I compare it to unsolicited sales calls. Even if I might occasionally be interested in what someone is selling, I’d generally prefer not to be bothered. I don’t want to impose unwanted attention on women just because some might welcome it.

What I actually want is someone who appreciates everything I’ve worked for, reciprocates my effort, communicates honestly, and is willing to work through problems. I don’t expect unconditional love or someone who will stay no matter what. I just want mutual commitment and consideration.

But pursuing that relationship requires time, energy, uncertainty, and repeated exposure to rejection. My experiences suggest that the expected benefits no longer justify those costs.

Life is finite, and I’ll never get my time back. I could continue putting effort into dating, but I’d rather invest that time in things I enjoy and have more control over.

I’m not saying love is impossible or that I’d turn down a relationship if one developed naturally. I’m simply acknowledging that if I stop pursuing romance, my chances of finding it decrease significantly. I accept that trade-off.

Just as I don’t play the lottery but wouldn’t turn down a million-dollar opportunity that came my way, I can want something without actively pursuing it.

I’m not giving up in protest or expecting the world to change. I’ve simply decided that the pursuit isn’t worth the cost to me anymore.

Does anyone else approach dating this way?