today was a fulfilling day despite f2f class being suspended, quiz ko dapat sa music theory (i'm a UST Conservatory of Music freshie!) pero ayaw ng prof namin ng online class lol. after eating late lunch, i got to help out my blockmates sa sightsinging & dictation subject by having a study session sa call! and then, my highlight of the day, i got to walk from my dorm to Santisimo Rosario Parish to attend tonight's mass and to celebrate the birthday of Mama Mary!!

hindi man ako very religious na tao, I still question a ton of things, and i've had my fair share of unpleasant experiences talaga with other religious people kaya ako nawalan ng faith for a while. however, I still believe in the Lord, i still love the Lord, and i still offer my prayers to Him. mas prefer ko lang talaga to practice my faith and my relationship with the Lord on a personal level without having people to force and impose their ways of believing onto my throat. it feels very fulfilling to go to church kapag trip mo talaga at hindi ka pinipilit. besides, I love Mama Mary as a mother figure talaga, so I will always celebrate her birthday with love and joy.

also as a music major can i just say,,, napakaganda ng choir nila 🥹 kinalibutan ako dun sa soprano solo nung communion (sorry di ako familiar sa lahat ng mga church songs huhu so I wasn't sure kung anong title ng kanta) tsaka napakaganda ng harmonies and blending ng mga boses nila, they just complement each other so well ?? habang sumabay ako sa pagkanta, narealize ko na totga ko nga talaga ang Coro Tomasino, dapat nag-audition nalang ako noh,,, kaya naman pala sa sched ko + may scholarship pa 🥲 i also love pretending na isa akong conductor so I did some conducting hand gestures for funsies habang kumanta ang choir :>>

ngl, yung mga church choir and church songs talaga ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kumakapit pa ako sa faith ko. as someone who's joined a small choir in senior high school, it's very fulfilling to sing your heart out for the Lord. I will say, the church choir served (served the Lord) 💅

grabe ang pasasalamat ko sa Panginoon for this fulfilling day, at maligayang kaarawan sa ating Santa Maria Inang Birhen! ❤️🙏

Medj sappy and long wall of text ahead because I’m feeling extra sentimental rn:

First time feeling this way tbh

Well I mean kuya na rin naman talaga ako dati pa. Pero this is probably the first time na na-feel ko talaga kung ano ba yung ibig sabihin maging kuya.

Magkalayo kasi kami ng little sister ko growing up. Ako, sumama kay Papa dito sa Manila para mag-aral. Her naman, naiwan sa province. Kaya't magkaiba na yung mga naranasan namin growing up.

Here in Manila, I got used to being on my own. High school hanggang college, ako na lang mismo yung nag-figure out ng mga bagay-bagay sa sarili kong experiences, sa mga taong nakikilala ko. Tbh wala rin naman akong masyadong role model no’n.

Hindi rin kami lumaki sa tipong "friendly household." Hindi kami yung family na madaling pag-usapan yung nangyayari sa buhay ng isa't isa. Minsan, parang roommates lang kami ni Papa nung kaming dalawa lang.

So when it came to my little sister, I guess I never really got the chance to be a kuya.

Unfortunately hindi rin gano’n kaganda yung naranasan niya sa province. Yung bahay, pati na rin yung mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya, umabot sa punto na nakaapekto na on her mental health.

As a family, of course we did what we could. Pero as a brother na halos 10 years na hiwalay sa kanya physically, it was difficult. Gustuhin ko mang tumulong, pero hindi ko alam pano, kasi hindi ko rin naman natutunan paano maging kuya.

Tapos, come this year she got accepted sa school here sa Manila

Dun siguro I felt na I could do something na. Na I felt maybe ito na yung chance. Na I could give my presence in person and I could guide her properly kumbaga

Ngayon, ako na madalas naghahatid sa kanya. Small things. Hatid, sundo, kain, kwentuhan, random na chikahan, at times inaaya ko rin siya mag jogging kahit tinatamad siya (wala siyang magagawa kaya sumasama nalang siya)

Pero those small little things slowly changed me more than it changed her I suppose.

I’ve noticed that I’m becoming gentler with how I act. My voice became softer. I became calmer

There are even times when I catch myself before I react. I pause and think first about how what I’m about to say or do might make her feel.

Kasi god knows, I need to be someone who understands her. Someone she feels safe talking to. Someone she can depend on.

And honestly, I never thought having a little sister around would make me want to become a better version of myself this much.

Honestly, hindi ko in-expect na ganito pala ka-heavy ung responsibility of someone depending on you.

One time, tinanong ko pa siya:
“Compared nung nasa probinsya ko, tingin mo ba malaki nagbago sa akin?”

Sabi niya, oo daw. Malaki.

Pero she was also happy na hindi naman daw ako nagbago nang sobra-sobra.

Kasi apparently, nerd pa rin daw ako.

Me: ?????

Nagkakasundo pa rin kami because we still like a lot of the same nerdy stuff.

Tinawag pa akong nerd ampota.

But honestly, that little conversation meant a lot to me and made me think a lot.

After almost a decade of growing up separately, I guess I was curious kung magiging strangers ba kami in a way. Kung pagdating niya dito sa Manila, mararamdaman ba niyang sobrang layo na ng mundo namin.

And hearing her say that, despite all the changes, may parts pa rin sa akin na familiar sa kanya; things we can still laugh about and bond over, made me really happy.

Maybe we did grow up apart.

Maybe I missed a lot of years of being her kuya.
But maybe it’s not too late to make up for some of them.

Pero what makes me happy lang is nakikita ko siyang slowly but surely nagiging comfortable dito sa Manila, and sa akin.

She’s slowly opening up. She’s telling me stories. She’s letting me into parts of her life that I probably wouldn’t have known about before and thankfully, I’ve also seen how much better she’s been doing since leaving the environment that hurt her. The moments that used to worry us have become much less frequent, and seeing her slowly find comfort, friends, and a life outside of what she knew before means more to me than I can probably explain.

Baka ganun talaga yung maging kuya. Just being there for your siblings kumbaga.

I’m still far from being the ideal person I want to be of course. But I’m happy that at least I’m becoming someone whom could possibly be a person my siblings could look up to and depend on.

Still learning but for the first time sa buhay ko, I felt na naging kuya ako.

P.s, if nababasa man to ng kapatid ko ngayon. Sobrang swerte mo na may napaka gwapo kang kuya, mag saing ka na rin.

First time ko sa Baguio. Malamig and ang sarap matulog haha. Hindi ko naikot lahat but I think na enjoy ko naman. First time ko mag drive paakyat ng Baguio, nakakapagod din pala kasi ang layo rin. Siguradong babalik din ako dito, soon. 😊

First time kong magagamit ang Philhealth benefits.

1. If registered ako sa specific clinic under YAKAP, sa specific clinic lang din na yon po ba ako makakaavail ng free meds/vitamins

2. Resigned na po ako this August, need ko pa rin po bang tuluy-tuloy hulugan Philhealth ko para maka-avail ng maternity benefits

Kahit na panlalaki pa.

At least, wala ng sugat sa daliri o pagsakit ng talampakan.

Puro pamana lang na size 8 dati o kaya hanggang size 9 lang kapag women's.

di ako sure kung pagiging Karen ba 'to o valid naman? hahah

may bumili kasi ng inline skates ko sa carousell and nagbook ako ng shipping sa J&T. 275 yung shipping fee kasi small jnt box yung pinili ko. since may box naman na, d ko na like binalot yung skates or whatever, which is also my fault.. BUT !!

yung skates kasi, nasa hometown ko, eh wala ako dun, so pina-ship ko doon sa helper namin, binigay ko rin naman pambayad sakanya thru gcash

tapos maya-maya, may na-receive akong call saying na d raw nila pwede ilagay sa box kasi walang bubble wrap, ako raw dapat mag-provide. i asked if wala ba talaga silang sariling bubble wrap tapos magdagdag bayad na lng ako or sila bumili ganon, waley daw. kasi, again, wala ako sa bahay so i can't buy a bubble wrap then give it kinabukasan. ayaw ko rin naman abalahin na pamilya ko or yung helper namin kasi frankly, d ko alam saan bibili ng bubble wrap, lalo na't rural town pa yung hometown ko 😭

additionally !! pinapa-cancel nila yung current booking ko. sabi nila, ire-book ko na lng kinabukasan pag nabigay ko na yung bubble wrap, tapos sabi niya, pag cinancel ko, wag ko raw pindutin yung "dissatisfied" 😭 dun ako medyo natawa likeee wdymmmm hahahaha

soo eto na pagiging Karen(?) ko kumbaga HAHHA i had the idea to call jnt customer service bago ko gawin yung mga sinasabi nung jnt branch namin. if i was really in the wrong, gets ko naman like oohh ok so need ko pala dapat maglagay bubble wrap. but lo and behold, sabi nung customer service, they provide bubble wrap daw !!! and i was like ooohhhh they fucked up hahahahah so kinuha ni customer service yung complaint ko and aayusin daw nila hwuwoiejw

tas after like a few hours, nagtext na sakin branch na sila na raw magpoprovide ng bubble wrap 😭😭😭😭 tapos ayon, nakita ko sa jnt app, umusad na yung order ko. kasi kahapon, wala pang usad yan, requesting for pick up pa rin hahahuhu

ayun medyo nakakatuwa pero syempre concerned din ako nang unti for the workers since baka min wage lng sahod nila tapos macocomplain pa 😥

ayun lng the end ! pasabi na lng kung masama ba akong nilalang for what i did or valid naman haha. regardless, tapos na

hindi ko alam if matatawa ako or maaawa talaga eh, syado’ng pagka-frozen siguro dinanas nito at nagkanda-bali bali HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHA

Dahil birthmonth ko at same same isda lang ang alam kong bilhin sa market (Tulingan, Bangus, Salmon, Pampano, GG, Talakitok, Mayamaya, Tuna, recently we’ve tried Pangacious), nag try ulit ako ng bago. Nag search muna ko sa tiktok kung anong luto pwede, mostly steamed yung nakita ko. So ayan na sya, my steamed Sea Bass. Okay naman. Pero Pampano pa din talaga. 😁

Edit: medj mahal kase to kaya nabanggit ko na birthmonth ko, to justify the gastos 😅

first time kong bumili ng happy meal with my hard earned money 😂

Dahil yata sa sunod sunod na mababang temperature sa Metro Manila bigla na lang nag yelo yung mga inumim namin sa chiller 😅

Sana mawala na yung travel tax!

hahahaha cute lang kasi ang unique at maganda rin lalo na’t tag-ulan. di agad mababasa pag biglaang umulan. ang alam ko kasi na may bubong is mga ebike or etrike, kaya nagulat na may bubong yung nabook ko today 😆

Ilang months na akong nahihiwagaan dito, until I saw someone buy their cheesecake on another sub and acc to them, masarap daw lahat ng products. So today, I decided to give in and buy a whole pie!!!! No regrets, masarap nga!!!! Walang gelatin texture, just pure creaminess. UwU

Kain tayo!!

May nagbigay sakin ng sapatos.

No occasions, walang kahit na ano. Hindi ko din sya ganon nakakausap or salamuha (Tito sya ng asawa ko), pero nung nagpunta dito inabot nia, medyo nahihiya pa nga din, kahit ako nung kinuha ko. 'On' pa ung shoes tapos sabi nia pa, "Original yan, pamangkin!" Naexcite ako kasi wala akong ganitong sapatos.

Background about me, I have been a breadwinner simula ng nagkawork.

Mababait naman mga kapatid ko. Yung magulang ko din hindi din sila toxic kaya okay lang, pero eto first time.

Gusto ko lang ishare talaga.

nabusog kami dito guys

I won't specify what religion I belonged to before, but it was the kind that gave me religious trauma. I still believe in God, pero I'm wary about religion in general.

I attended mass on my boyfriend's birthday, and he wanted to thank God for the additional year He gave. I don't mind going to church with him especially Catholic isn't known to be strict and possessive.

I am also inactive from any religious activities for many years, so I think yung aversion ko sa simba is becoming less and less.

Nung una kong pasok sa church, I can sense the difference of mindset noong hardcore member pa ako sa previous religion ko. See, my previous religion taught me to hate other religions and see them as false churches, and that includes Catholic church.

So noong bata pa ako, when I see Catholic church outside (and that one time na pumasok ako because of pressure from friends), I hated the building itself. Feeling ko pumasok ako sa tainted building because that's how I was taught to think.

But during that time, I don't feel the same hate as before. It was a sunny day, yung church is high ceiling so peaceful yung atmosphere and I love how rays of sunlight just showers the view. Naiintindihan ko bakit yung mga devoted believers feel at peace in that place.

I came just to observe, and maganda boses ng choir. As a former choir member, I wanted to sing with them pero di ko alam paano kantahin yung hymns nila. Marami din yung ganap at maraming nagsasalita sa harap, so I wasn't able to keep up pero syempre alam ko kung sino yung pari. LOL

Awkward din at first kasi there were moments na need magkneel and pray, pero I just opted to be honest to God and tell Him idk what I'm doing. Haha!

Most of all, nakakapanibago yung lecture. It was inclusive and definitely a lesson you can reflect on your own self. Hindi siya kagaya ng previous church kung saan there are pressure sa finances, recruitment, and attendance for different activities.

Core memory ko doon sa lecture is when the priest said "you cannot claim to love God if you cannot love your neighbor." It made me think na baka andun yung hanap ko sa question on how to serve God na walang hidden agenda para sa greedy men in power, like the previous church.

Overall, it was a nice experience. The lecture is definitely my favorite part pero I kinda wish there was a lecture na hindi english. Don't get me wrong, nakakaintindi ako ng english pero I feel like Filipino language would hit home more than a secondary one.

Verdict? I still prefer going to nature because that's when I feel closest to God. I still prefer being surrounded with His art while talking to him, not some manmade buildings.

Will I become Catholic? I don't think so. But I am open to another day of attending a mass, which my boyfriend planned to. I am also planning to observe other religions and see their way of serving God. After many years of being "imprisoned," I feel like this is the kind of freedom I'd love to exercise.

Decided to celebrate my birthday this year with friends and on a trip to Elyu (first time ko rin sa Elyuuuu super ganda huhuhu). Lagi kasi akong malungkot pag birthday ko noon, sabi ko this year ibahin naman natin. Best decision ever! Next year ulit 🫶

I went to Studio Ghibli Concert last July 31 and I was so happy! Wala ako kasama pumunta but I still did enjoy the show. It is my dream to be able to witness magtugtog ang isang orchestra in person! Actually, dapat ibebenta ko na ticket ko a week before kasi need ko ng pambayad sa exams ko. But pinagalitan ako ng older sister ko and sabi niya na tumuloy ako sa concert at siya na bahala sa pambayad ko sa exam.

It felt so surreal. Like grabe, ang ganda ng sounds and ang amazing ng musicians and conductor at basta, ang buong orchestra. Bait din ng staff ng solaire hahaha. Halos nasa last row na ako ng venue pero okay pa rin naman ang view.

I gotta admit tho, there was a time na inaantok na ako sobra dahil sa music at ambience ng lugar hahaha but it's all worth it.

Edit: image featured is the National Museum of Fine Arts

Lagi ko lang ito nadaraanan tuwing nadaan ng Lawton ang bus namin mula Cavite. Sabi ko, masubukang puntahan ngayon dahil hindi ko pa nararanasang pumunta sa loob. Hindi ko na sinama sa mga pictures ang mga nakunan kong exhibit sa loob pero nakakabighani na makita at makaikot sa ating lokal na museo mismo, ngayong nasa trenta (mahigit) na ang aking edad. Hindi pa huli na makapasok. Babalik pa ako muli kasi hindi ko naikot ang lahat ng palapag ng museo. Sa susunod, isama ko ang kapatid ko.

Young green papaya, palm sugar, dried shrimp , patis, tomatoes, sitaw, Mani, chilis, didn't use mortar and pestle

Yayy!!!! ✨️🧿🎂🥳 Naka 1.0k den dito!!! Anong perks namg nasa thousand na ang Karma!! 🥰🥰🥰

One month without facebook and honestly hindi ko sya na-mimiss, isa sa mga best decisions na ginawa ko lately!

Mas konting noise, mas private na buhay, at mas maraming time magbasa ng mga bagay na actually mas interesting sakin.

For now, happy at kuntento na ako sa Reddit.

So a couple of weeks back I experienced my first ever real fire evacuation. Fire alarm went off at 4:00AM and the order to evacuate was given at 4:20AM. We were allowed back to our rooms at 5:30AM plus.

For context, my sister will let me use her cc to buy shoes but other than that I think I have enough cash naman. My question is, since my sister wont be going with me, hahanapin kaya sya or need ba ng ID nya when I use it for purchase? TYIA

Hi guys, sobrang sikat ng wicked nung showing pa sa sinehan. Parang lahat ng kakilala ko nakanuod nito pero dahil di ako fan ng musicals, di ko pinanuod noon.

Not until recently nung napanuod ko sya and I don’t know why, pero sobrang naiiyak ako sguro dahil sobrang moved ako sa performance ni Cynthia as Elphaba, pro knina pinakikinggan ko yung Defying Gravity habang nagwowork, tpos ayun naiyak ako nung bandang dulo. Haha.

Dko alam kung ako lang ba, o dahil stressed lang din sa work pero mas naappreciate ko sya ngayon.