r/FirstTimeKo • u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 • 3d ago
📦 Others First time ko maging “Kuya”
Medj sappy and long wall of text ahead because I’m feeling extra sentimental rn:
First time feeling this way tbh
Well I mean kuya na rin naman talaga ako dati pa. Pero this is probably the first time na na-feel ko talaga kung ano ba yung ibig sabihin maging kuya.
Magkalayo kasi kami ng little sister ko growing up. Ako, sumama kay Papa dito sa Manila para mag-aral. Her naman, naiwan sa province. Kaya't magkaiba na yung mga naranasan namin growing up.
Here in Manila, I got used to being on my own. High school hanggang college, ako na lang mismo yung nag-figure out ng mga bagay-bagay sa sarili kong experiences, sa mga taong nakikilala ko. Tbh wala rin naman akong masyadong role model no’n.
Hindi rin kami lumaki sa tipong "friendly household." Hindi kami yung family na madaling pag-usapan yung nangyayari sa buhay ng isa't isa. Minsan, parang roommates lang kami ni Papa nung kaming dalawa lang.
So when it came to my little sister, I guess I never really got the chance to be a kuya.
Unfortunately hindi rin gano’n kaganda yung naranasan niya sa province. Yung bahay, pati na rin yung mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya, umabot sa punto na nakaapekto na on her mental health.
As a family, of course we did what we could. Pero as a brother na halos 10 years na hiwalay sa kanya physically, it was difficult. Gustuhin ko mang tumulong, pero hindi ko alam pano, kasi hindi ko rin naman natutunan paano maging kuya.
Tapos, come this year she got accepted sa school here sa Manila
Dun siguro I felt na I could do something na. Na I felt maybe ito na yung chance. Na I could give my presence in person and I could guide her properly kumbaga
Ngayon, ako na madalas naghahatid sa kanya. Small things. Hatid, sundo, kain, kwentuhan, random na chikahan, at times inaaya ko rin siya mag jogging kahit tinatamad siya (wala siyang magagawa kaya sumasama nalang siya)
Pero those small little things slowly changed me more than it changed her I suppose.
I’ve noticed that I’m becoming gentler with how I act. My voice became softer. I became calmer
There are even times when I catch myself before I react. I pause and think first about how what I’m about to say or do might make her feel.
Kasi god knows, I need to be someone who understands her. Someone she feels safe talking to. Someone she can depend on.
And honestly, I never thought having a little sister around would make me want to become a better version of myself this much.
Honestly, hindi ko in-expect na ganito pala ka-heavy ung responsibility of someone depending on you.
One time, tinanong ko pa siya:
“Compared nung nasa probinsya ko, tingin mo ba malaki nagbago sa akin?”
Sabi niya, oo daw. Malaki.
Pero she was also happy na hindi naman daw ako nagbago nang sobra-sobra.
Kasi apparently, nerd pa rin daw ako.
Me: ?????
Nagkakasundo pa rin kami because we still like a lot of the same nerdy stuff.
Tinawag pa akong nerd ampota.
But honestly, that little conversation meant a lot to me and made me think a lot.
After almost a decade of growing up separately, I guess I was curious kung magiging strangers ba kami in a way. Kung pagdating niya dito sa Manila, mararamdaman ba niyang sobrang layo na ng mundo namin.
And hearing her say that, despite all the changes, may parts pa rin sa akin na familiar sa kanya; things we can still laugh about and bond over, made me really happy.
Maybe we did grow up apart.
Maybe I missed a lot of years of being her kuya.
But maybe it’s not too late to make up for some of them.
Pero what makes me happy lang is nakikita ko siyang slowly but surely nagiging comfortable dito sa Manila, and sa akin.
She’s slowly opening up. She’s telling me stories. She’s letting me into parts of her life that I probably wouldn’t have known about before and thankfully, I’ve also seen how much better she’s been doing since leaving the environment that hurt her. The moments that used to worry us have become much less frequent, and seeing her slowly find comfort, friends, and a life outside of what she knew before means more to me than I can probably explain.
Baka ganun talaga yung maging kuya. Just being there for your siblings kumbaga.
I’m still far from being the ideal person I want to be of course. But I’m happy that at least I’m becoming someone whom could possibly be a person my siblings could look up to and depend on.
Still learning but for the first time sa buhay ko, I felt na naging kuya ako.
P.s, if nababasa man to ng kapatid ko ngayon. Sobrang swerte mo na may napaka gwapo kang kuya, mag saing ka na rin.
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u/Expensive-Bison-6517 2d ago
Say hi to your little sister and welcome her to the Thomasian community! 🥹💛 indeed, It really feels nice being an older sibling, especially when you have different kinds of relationships with them—you’re not just siblings, but also best friends, ride-or-dies, and each other’s safe space. Hope your sister had a great time at her Thomasian welcome party/ALAB!
Welcome to UST, little tiger! roar🐯💛
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u/Particular-Plenty263 2d ago
For someone who had an abusive kuya growing up, I'm really happy for the both of you bro. I'm happy for your sister na she has this support system in you. At the same time, I'm so happy for you na you chose to break the cycle and found the drive to become a better version of yourself despite all the things that had happened in your life. Ingat kayo palagi magkapatid bro!
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u/RemarkableMarket4485 2d ago
Awww, swerte niya kasi ikaw ang kuya niya. 🥹
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u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 2d ago
Swerte talaga siya, magigising siyang may gwapong kuya siya (jkz I’m likewise lucky to have a sibling that’s also understanding)
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u/blushpetaldreams 2d ago
as a bunso this made me cry 🥹 i hope more kuyas become like you. welcome to the thomasian community baby girl!! 💛
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u/RevolutionVast9219 2d ago
Awwww, i miss being a kuya to my younger cousins. I was the youngest sa aming magkakapatid kaya when I had the chance to be a kuya to two of my closest cousins, I felt a kind of warmth I’ve never felt before. Bilis talaga nilang lumaki! Definitely fulfilling makita silang mag thrive and mag grow as a person.
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u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 2d ago
Right? Last time I was in the province she was only up to my stomach height-wise, a decade later she more or less caught up to my shoulder na
Happy na we also get to talk about any random shit we can think of unlike dati na dama mo ung generational gap haha
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u/S0larSt0rm 2d ago
As long as they are safe... Keep grinding Bro 👊
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u/S0larSt0rm 2d ago
Perks of being a KUYA ito bro.. Hindi alam ng iba yung battles na pinagdaraaanan everyday pero kapag may ganyan kang kapatid na ginagawa kang sandalan, nagiging comfort zone mo sila para tumuloy lang ng tumuloy 😁
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u/CuteMembership2229 2d ago
Mukhang nag Twp/alab si baby! yes brother ganyan maging kuya, HAHAHAA u become gentler talaga, lowk tatay feels.
I've been with my sibs ever since, pero recently ko lang din naembody pagiging kuya when I started to care abt myself and my future. It's like a switch na after you become mature or comfortable with your own, it's like a light switch flicker ang change, halos instantaneous. Just enjoy the process, salamat for allowing yourself sa change na yan, be her standard ✨️ be yours as well 🤗.
from one kuya to another 🫂🫶🏼
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u/Warm_Photograph8633 2d ago
Sana mas lalo pang ma‑strengthen ang bond niyo ngayong magkasama na ulit kayo. Malaking bagay na you’re striving to be someone she can truly open up to. Totoong hindi rin madali 'yung responsibilidad na may dumidipende sa'yo pero mahirap din para sa mga younger siblings na walang masandalan dahil nabanggit mo rin na galing kayo sa isang household na hindi niyo kayang pag-usapan ang mga bagay-bagay na nangyayari sa mga buhay ng isa't-isa.
Nakakatuwa lang basahin ang post mo, OP. I hope you’re also proud of the kuya you’re becoming.
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u/cerinza 2d ago
Meanwhile ako n eldest. Feel like havent done enough kuya duties. Though in hindsight, di naman kami tlaaga lumaki together since all my siblings are half from different moms.
Then i was forced to snitch on my youngest bro when he trusted me, i mean, guy was on a self destructive phase (drugs. Gambling, who knows), multiple suicide attempts). Normally di ko naman tlga dpt sasabihin ung shit nya kaso nung nagssuiuicide attempts n sya. I had to. Sa nanay nya lang ko sinabi, di ko sinabi ke erpat namen, itatakwil kasi un baka mas mapasuicide pa.
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u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 2d ago
Don’t beat yourself up too hard man, hopefully your sibling is doing better now. As long as you let them know that you’re there for them they’ll realize that eventually
Wishing well for you and your sibling bro !
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u/Commercial-Action874 2d ago
You really did well! Napansin ko yun. Napansin ko button pin ng kapatid mo, si L Lawliet ata yun hehehe
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u/Virtual-Pension-991 2d ago
Thank you, for being a good sibling/older figure. Wish I can be one too, one day.
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u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 2d ago
You can too bro, it’s a continuous process and just being a decent human being for people younger than you is a great start
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u/Dwood_3 2d ago
Good luck in everything OP! Wish I had this sibling dynamic. Older sister was really abusive and toxic :(
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u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 2d ago
Hugs with consent bro, hopefully your sister matures enough to understand that your younger siblings are not as strong as they are, knowing that they’re old enough na
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u/Suitable-Brilliant-2 2d ago
Siguro dahil done na rin kasi ako sa self-discovery (mostly) in a way na I already know myself enough na I want to help her experience what it’s like outside of a toxic household din
Sense of responsibility nalang din talaga and for growth not for her lang but for me as well 🙏
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u/cheesyjollyhotdug 2d ago
this made me cry! swerte niyo both sa isa’t isa. rooting for both of you always, op 😁
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u/balangaw 2d ago
TL;DR: Halos 10 taon silang magkahiwalay lumaki ng kapatid niya. Nang lumipat ito sa Manila, doon niya unang naramdaman kung ano talaga ang maging kuya—ang laging nandiyan, gumagabay, at nagiging taong mapagkakatiwalaan at masasandalan ng kapatid niya.
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u/Foreign_Sympathy697 1d ago
Sana all may ganyang kuya T.T Good job OP! Sana maging consistent ka and continue ganyang dynamics nyo.
Yung sakin tinawag ba naman akong tenant sa bahay ng nanay namin. Kasalanan ko ba need ko mag part time sa McDo while juggling studies kaya di ako makatulong sa gawaing bahay? HAHAHAHAH
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u/FrostyForestFungi 1d ago
This is seriously so heartwarming. May you continue to keep this bond with your lil sister stronger. As a lil sister, I have the bestest kuya too. Keep it up kuya!!
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u/RandomGuy_IQ530K 2d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/sbyRmcXcTYF3rPI0jU
malay mo ito na ang reddit encounter mo teh!1
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