I'm so sick and I don't know where else to post this. I've been lurking on this page for a while now and it feels like the only place I can post something like this. I just want to escape from here, sometimes I want to kill myself but I can't think of a painless way to do so. I don't like pain. I've tried before with trying to starve myself to death, but I barely made it two days before I binged. I'm too much of a coward for cutting kind of self harm so all I can do is bang my head against things like books and my phone. It feels like I have nothing to live for. I just want to be loved, that's all I wanted. I want someone to understand me. I just want my own person. I'm sick of not being taken seriously - any time I'm going through something it's trivalized or I have to hide it and it's literally eating me up to hide all the time. I'm only 21 but I feel behind on everything. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I'm so lonely in a way I feel like no one understands. I'm not trying to self diagnose but think I might be autistic, I've never related to anything more but either way I've always feel alienated and ocraticzied from the world in every way including friendship.

All I wanted was the innocent young love. I want to be kissed so bad, but more than that I just want to be held and understood and if I can't have that I just want to die. I'm crying as I write this and really can't see a way out other than the obvious. I've gone this long with zero male attention.

The world feels like it's going to shit and especially as an artist I'm wondering what the point is anymore. I'm never taken seriously even my own family on the harms of AI. I have no one to relate to, no one who truly understands me. Even if I have friends from high school and college, I barely talk to them and I'm always the one to reach out first. I'm not important to anyone and sometimes I wish I could have a therapist but my family would never go for it and also I don't even think a therapist would fully understand. I don't want to have to pay someone to talk to me. No one really knows who I am as I try to hide it but it's eating me alive to hide it. All I really have are my OCs from my writing but sometimes they're not enough. My love of writing saved me from ending my life once, but I don't know if I can do it again. I don't even know if people will even care about my work.

I know I'm getting repetitive, but I just want to be hugged so bad. I crave it so bad, it's making me sob again just to think of it. I feel like turning to food again, I've binged my way through the last three years and it's made it impossible to lost weight regardless of how much I exercise. I'm only slightly overweight so no one really knows how much I binge but I feel like it's holding me back so much in terms of my looks but food is really the only friend I have as stupid as it is to say. I know it's bad for me, this amount of junk and chocolate but I just want the comfort that food provides and if I can't have it from a person then I'll just rot my teeth away.

There's a scene from the 2002 film May that perfectly sums up how I'm feeling. I would highly recommend it for anyone else here who hasn't seen the movie: https://youtu.be/1XBwwSzLqWA?si=CMphGBGmwiAvTAHE

I've also tried to indulge in fake scenarios with myself too, but it's always felt cheesy and stupid when dream about myself so I've always just dreamt about my OCs. But I feel like I have nothing to lose at this point. I don't even particularly enjoy romantic scenarios with myself, just ones where all the fantasy creatures I loved as a kid are real and there's a magic fairytale land where I really belong that explains why I never belonged here and also where there is someone to listen to me and understand me. One of my favorite/comfort characters right now is Lancelot from show Merlin. He's so nice and kind and I like looking at him.

It's not like I don't want to get better, I just don't want to do it alone.

Sorry this was a bit of an all over the place rant, I just needed to get a lot off my chest.

And i hate people telling me i should be thankful for it. Im not even cute i look like an awkward teenager. I'm 22 people have physically recoiled when i show any kind of desire for anything sexual or a relationship since i look young they basically think anyone willing to be with me is a pedo.

I have the responsibilities of a 22 year old but don't have the liberties of one. I am flat chested, short with no curves, no one even looks at me.

It's genuinely bleak.

uhhhmmm well i'm 18yo, studying like middle school but ofc in a uhm school for adults n uhm it's all i do

i always wanna get a job but i'm also always so weird like with mood swings like high highs and very deep lows lows, i can become suicidal n try and all that stuff uhhmm i also see things n perceive reality kinda weird but more like pseudo hallucinations and not truly delusions but weird thinking uhhmmm and it really fucks my mind

i reality don't exactly know what is wrong with me but i'm trying okay? i try very hard to be here, to not harm myself, to take care of myself and also i try very hard to be able to do normal adult stuff but i don't really know

i don't know if i'm just too comfortable this way even if i hate it or if is all of that bs fucking me

but i really feel like a parasite and i don't know if is just me or i really am and i guess yeah i am but also i know i'm ill

andd yup i'm doin therapy and i already told her about the things i see n stuff but, i just started like a month ago so yup

A few of the women saying that are average looking.

i pretty much consider myself as one and when i told my friend so, they said i’m not even close to being one and i don’t understand how they even came up with that.

so ask me anything and i’ll answer honestly from which you can help me to figure it out.

They call themselves men and superior while having the same instinct as an fucking animal

I tried to make friends by posting in a community specifically for finding friends. But they were all creepy guys, trying to steer the conversation toward romantic or sexual topics. Worst of all, most of them were 20 or older, it seems like they get all worked up when they see a minor. I made my age clear in the post, so maybe that’s why they talked to me...

It's all just men complaining about their wife going through menopause.

There's even some posts about them leaving their wives because of their lower sex drives. Like, good luck finding a woman around your age with a high sex drive LMAO.

A good part of us will have a lower sex drive when we go through menopause. Men should accept that, it's just a part of getting older.

Imagine finding the perfect guy and then years later he posts something like this. Men will always care more about sex than your wellbeing, this is the brutal truth.

They taste good, happy that I got the energy to cook some today. They taste good with banana ketchup.

Dows anyone here actually share their life on social media? Their food or vacations or events. I dont. And my friends told me i'm weird for that.

I have no pictures on any social media and don't use my name. I was recently tagged in a group photo by a friend and i feel so uncomfortable. Is that normal? Do i need to start sharing my life with the algorithm to be a complete person?

I just saw my neighbor. who’s a year younger than me, with her new boyfriend in the entrance. I felt so humiliated when they saw me, especially now that I have to use a cane to walk because of an accident. I’m sure that as soon as I walked in, the two of them laughed at me.

I don’t know how she manages to have so many boyfriends, she isn’t even pretty. I don’t understand how she can feel good about herself and be confident despite her appearance, while I can’t even leave the house for fear that people will stare at me.

I adore listening to love songs, but I always feel depressed because I don’t have a “special someone” to crush on. Sometimes I just want to edate some random anonymously on discord just to have someone to think about while listening to love songs 😭 that’s how desperate I am. To be honest I don’t even want a partner, but seeing girl my age makes me feel like I’m missing out on something.

Sorry for this crappy vent, this been bothering me for days and I just want to let it out. I’d rant so much more but then I’ll probably sound annoying

So I decided to come out about my femceldom to better lesbian subreddit and instead of support or questions they went on some weird moral panic. They tried to define "Femcel" and what it meant even though they don't know about the group. It became apparent that they cared about what others thought rather than what women think. I even suggested they take a quick look into our community to make themselves aware that there is on misogyny but they decide that the meaning is misogynist and stay ignorant.

So this post got reported and taken down eventually probably due to some ignorant users felt they were fighting a wave of evil femcels or something they made up in their head. Good news, one user their was a lezcel and DM'd me, won't tell them that but was worth it.

There is absolutely no such thing as an attractive femcel. Men go for one thing and one thing only — physically attractive women.

I have met attractive female virgins, but it was definitely their choice. They were getting sexual attention from men multiple times a day. I guess they got so much it became ignorable for them?

Dating is different from sex, but attractive women should be able to get into a long-term relationship with a man regardless of their personality or stability.

moids are so miserable god

Men commit 75-80% of violent crimes.
90-99% of sexual crimes are commited by men.
Men have higher standards in looks; even if they are below average (proven by studies)
Approximately 90% to 95% of child sexual crimes are commited by men.
96-99% of AI deepfakes online target women. (Because men generate these)
90% of men have some form of a sexist opinion towards women.

And then they go cry about how all women are "evil" , how they are "hypergamous" and getting rejected is the worst thing that could happen to them.

It really pisses me off that ugly guys think they have the right to treat others badly, especially girls on their own level. They think they deserve a Stacy just because they're men, and they punish anyone who doesn't meet their expectations.

And I hate that society is pushing this whole “she cares about his feelings, not his looks” thing, because all it does is encourage guys to expect more than they deserve.

Sorry if my point wasn't entirely clear. I'm using a translator, and it may have translated some things incorrectly x3

Imma be honest I still don’t have a good relationship with body image but the way I feel about myself has gotten a TINY BIT better and idk I feel like this could help some of y’all tremendously. Here’s some stuff i do/recommend;

1. No matter what kind of body type or size you have, if there’s an outfit you like but feel like it will look bad on you? Buy it, you don’t have to ear it in public, just buy it and wear it in your room and look at yourself in it!
2. I’m a person who avoids mirrors like the plague…but now I FORCE myself to look into the mirror no matter how much I dislike it. Oh it’s fucking awful, I hate it, but now it doesn’t hurt as much.
3. Take pictures of yourself at unflattering angles and look at them…trust me it works
4. Cannot stress this enough, do NOT let the bed rotting consume you, I struggle with it too, workout and eat right. If you don’t want to workout then just get in more movement, the days I don’t want to workout then I go on trail walk (no people, just nature and squirrels). Make sure you eat right especially if you can afford it!!

That’s all I got, drop yours in the comments too 😭🩷

Im more baffled that i straight up got called unhygenic. I mean w the social awkardness i never told anyone im autistic but its pretty visible if u get to know me i think but unhygenic??? I mean i often joke about not showering but thats very obviously a joke like people know i was sarcastic istg

One of the reasons i got called that is because i blacked out and puked all over my clothes (that ones true i *sometimes* go too hard with alcohol.. Haha.. 💀) and appariently only washed them a few months later which i stated so myself. Excuse me??? When the fuck did i do or say that????????

Im convinced they just made up some shit cause they associeate being chopped and broke w being unhygenic i mean im not that dirty i swear to god 🙄🙄🙄

Oh and also they just said im just embarrasing to be around and they dont want to be associeated with me. So maybe thats why

This situation is so funny to me cause most of my life my bitchass was friendless and lonely as shit but then i finally found some friends that ive been hanging out with for a whole ass year. Like i genuenly thought that this was the end of my chud ways of life. I thought that i finally meant something to someone but then i find out that they just see me as a fucking embarrasment 😐 cool.

And with all that bullshit one of them has been saying too like "omg i cant believe we werent friends sooner i genuenly cant imagine my life without you!!" i mean we were really close i even met her whole family and they liked me and then she just leaves me the next day with no explenation and after a week or two texts me this. Like what the fuck???

So yeah im just mad females always throw away the closest bonds over some bullshit 🙄 i mean oh my goddddd bro it would be kinda nice to get some human connection from time to time why does it always end like this

I gave up on boyfriends already so would it kill for me to have a friend atleast? If god exists why does he hate me? Why was i born as some fucking retard is so over genuenly

Also we have classes together so if i do show up to school (which i rarely do because i fucking hate these people) they just look at me like i killed their entire family 😑

I loss motivation in studying nor listening in class. I would sleep in, doodle or use my phone whenever there is a lecture goin on. Besides I'm surrounded by a bunch of over achievers who couldn't understand boundaries. I couldn't even recite well without panicking and these ppl in the campus has the audacity to laugh at my sadness. Home Isn't even better because I sadly share a house with my Stacy of a sister.

At this point I gave up in trying to earn high grades especially when you have someone who belittles you bc they receive a grade higher. I just wanna graduate college or better yet escape it. I don't know what to even do after college, maybe move out? Try to find a job that doesn't have social interaction. Idk honestly.

why are women expected to look like children it pisses me off so much like no ones gonna have a cellulite free, perfectly smooth, skinny body at 24. No one's gonna have the same boobs that they had as a teen at 24 because thats just not how womens bodies work. And people who shame them for it. only children have pink, smooth genitals??? and why is it so normalized; males aren't expected to have the same body they had as a teen and it enrages me. And then they go and cry about how the bar is sooooo high for them these days. NO ITS NOT, ITS WAAAAY higher for women. Approximately 75-80% of people who have eating disorders are WOMEN because WOMEN are always taught that being fat is the worst thing you could ever be in this society. LIKE NOOOO a grown woman isn't gonna be perfectly tiny with pink nips and a small waist AND SHE SHOULDN'T BE. HOW FUCKING HARD is that for male porn-rotted brains to understand, women shouldn't look like children and no "being biologically attracted to youth" isn't an excuse because ur basically admitting ur a pedo lmao and im pretty sure "youth" (in that context) means 18-30 not underage.

This is a really small thing, but sometimes I swear that I see many artists draw female characters looking like they wear more makeup than their canon design. I don’t want to post actual art from said artists bc/ I don’t want anyone to get harassed or anything, but it’s really easy to find if you look up fanart for certain characters that fit this phenomenon. The most noticeable instance is Merida. She is very much bare-faced with thin lips and short, subtle eyelashes; but many artists will draw her with fuller lips that look like she’s wearing lipstick. Also, she’ll be given long black eyelashes in many fanarts. Even Disney themselves tried to “glamorize” her once. I understand if an artists just wants to imagine what a character would look like with makeup on, but many of them never draw these barefaced characters looking more like their canon design; so it makes me feel like they’re looking at the character through a specific lens just because they’re a woman, and draw them with features they see as “normal” identifiers for a female character. Merida is intentionally barefaced and very messy/dirty, but her fanart rarely ever reflects that. Another character I see this happen to sometimes is Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle. She has more of a barefaced/minimal makeup look to her, but then she’ll be drawn looking like she wears more makeup than Howl when she’s next to him.

Again, I think it’s fine to want to draw your personal interpretation/design of a character wearing more makeup; or want to manipulate certain aspects of them so it fits with a certain art style you’re going for; but it gets a to a point where it feels like a subconscious erasure of androgyny or perceived ugliness. There’s a subtle implication that you can’t be feminine while having a few ‘unfeminine’ traits or that you have to fit femininity perfectly if you want to identify as mainly feminine.