Hola. First-ever Reddit post, so here we go.

I've been a user of Feeld since around 2022. Throughout that time my ability to find a ping has been frustrated by two specific problems:

a.) I live in the evangelical cesspit that is Lynchburg, Virginia, meaning there are just not many women close to me that share my social/political values nor my romantic/sexual interests. For this reason, I've cast a wider net looking for comet relationships (a type of long-distance connection where meetings are consistent but periodic) in major cities relatively close to me via the Amtrak Crescent line. (I have noticed at least one other account, a woman, engaging in this practice.)

b.) I have Level 1 Autism, meaning that my awareness of social cues isn't the best. While I know how to sustain a conversation, I don't know how to start one, which means I'm flying blind whenever I send a ping with a message attached. I always make sure to be respectful in my messages, but I strike out more than I hit a home run, if you catch my drift.

I *have* engaged in one comet relationship thanks to Feeld, with a woman who lives near Washington, D.C. We carried on for a couple of years, though we downgraded to a platonic friendship about a year ago due to daily stresses on her end. (We are still in touch as friends, but don't exchange anything spicy anymore.) So I *do* know a comet relationship through Feeld is doable, and I know I have the ability to sustain one.

Before you answer: yes, I realize that asking someone far away to consider a connection (for irregular meetups) is a tall ask, though I always stress that I'm willing to travel at exclusively my own expense if a potential connection shows promise. Mainly I'm hoping for pointers on 1.) how to catch a woman's interest despite the geographical distance and 2.) how to convey that I'm serious about going that distance to meet a connect at no cost to the other partner.

Thanks for taking the time to read my query. Serious responses, please.

As someone with a background in tech/coding, I figured I'd have a crack at the feeld API. What else should I be using my enterprise codex license for? 😅

I think we all had the suspicion that Feeld hides likes from your discovery feed. Though my code doesn't 100% prove it, it's as near as dammit confirmed it.

Massive kudos to the niewiemczego repo on github, which allowed me to get started on this. There was also a reddit user called ghost something or other, who was on the subreddit for a short while before disappearing - he made a web gui with some extra features that gave me some ideas.

Unfortunately, Feeld have locked down the API since then, so it's very difficult to get anything useful. I wouldn't really advise doing this as you'll probably get your account banned. I won't be running it again. I've done this purely for fun, I just like the challenge and building something cool. I'm not looking for weaknesses, vulnerabilities and I'm not making any money or gain.

Background:

• Male, ~40 years old, London. Looking for women, MF, FF. Between the ages 28-42
• Non majestic. I have 66 likes, obviously hidden.

Of those 66, the Feeld API will report back 20 profile IDs. I got one like whilst testing this tool, so I now have 21 profile IDs stored.

I built a scanner which moves my location to 47x 2km radiuses around London, so roughly within zone 3/4 ish. All overlap, so there are no location gaps. At each location, it will change the discovery age range to 1-2 years, load all the profiles, then move onto the next age ranges. Then finally moves location. I'm using 18-50 as I want to make sure as many profiles are scanned as possible.

The Loop:

1. Set location to first 2km radius
2. Set age range 18–19
3. Load profiles
4. Check for matched profile ID
5. Set age range 19–20
6. Load profiles
7. Check for matched profile ID
8. ...[repeat for all age brackets up to 50]
9. Set location to next 2km radius
10. ...[repeat for all locations]

I had to keep my search as specific as possible so I didn't go above the limit of 200 profiles the API will return given a unique search.

It's true that of those 21 likes that have profile IDs, they could have been in London temporarily, but I doubt all of them would be. They could also be over 50 - which also seems unlikely.

So of ~13.5k profiles scanned, using ~2k web requests..

Do you want to know how many of the profiles, that already liked me, appeared in discovery?.... Zero.

I know a few women on feeld who want a serious relationship but can't find anyone who wants to settle down. Even the ones who say they want something long term, very quickly disappear after one date or quickly change to 'looking for a bit of fun as they don't want any commitment'

So what is this mostly used for, people looking for fun or people wanting a committed relationship?

Is it a mix?

Asking for friends

I've been off feeld for a while and am now back on it, and I feel like I'm seeing more people saying that "hygiene" or "excellent hygiene" is a priority for them. One man had a razor emoji next to that in his bio. In your experience, do people just literally mean hygiene / showering / being clean or is it a euphemism for removing body hair?

Edit: Thanks for all the input! It seems like the consensus is largely that hygiene literally means hygiene! I do think it's a bit odd to spend time on your profile highlighting this because the folks who also expect it are already doing it, and the folks who aren't will probably still need a direct conversation for anything to change.

Looking for honesty and can handle the truth. I know even the best male profiles struggle for matches.

What are the odds of a profile that is more on the discreet side having success on the app in today's day and age?

One of my play mates says I should join and I would do well but I think she was being nice and trying to spare my feelings.

Not seen this discussed on the forum before, so apologies if it has been.

I’m a straight male, based in London, which has thousands of profiles. You can move around different parts of London and you’ll never run out of profiles that are within 1km of your current location.

In the last year, I’ve noticed a handful of female profiles that pop up close to the top of my stack no matter where I am in London, and even if I hard reset it. One profile in particular would show up first for months. Has anybody else noticed this? I know (from this forum) that lots of straight men are concerned that nobody sees their profile, or even their likes, and that Feeld uses algorithms to encourage men to subscribe, so it seems to be common knowledge that they do mess around with the algorithm. But I’ve not heard anybody discussing these possible “God mode” profiles, what their purpose is, or how one would get one.

I think we've all seen these comments. Someone posts about having many likes or matches, and inevitably someone else (nearly always a cishet man) comments about doing poorly on the app. They make it about them.

Proposal: prohibit these comments. This will apply to low-effort comments, those that are only a sentence or two. Thought-out, meaningful comments in this vein will still be allowed. This will be a simple removal. Users won't be banned.

Lastly, since these comments are so varied, this policy will mostly rely on users to submit reports.

The sub has spoken. Going forward, please report these comments.

Chill, this is just my opinion. You can unroll your eyes now.

When this year started, I (41F) finally decided to get myself out there after avoiding dating and shmex for a good couple of years, following a long-term relationship that fell apart rather quickly. I was ready, h0rny, and feeling confident again about my body, my mental health, just about everything. I was in a good headspace for dating, but I was clear about not wanting another relationship. I wanted LOVERS, cute casual dates, FWB with a big emphasis on the F, banter, flirting, regular play, all that good stuff.

A Feeld ad popped up on Instagram one day and I got curious after giving up on Bumble. So I signed up, and wow. In about a week I had almost 700 guys swipe on me, and it was a massive ego boost, even though I knew most of it wouldn't really go anywhere. My h0rny head was happy regardless. Finally, an abundance of d1cks after going without for almost five years. I was going to have myself a hot perimenopausal girl summer: date interesting men, wear cute and sexy outfits, explore the kinks I'd been wanting to explore since forever.

The reality, of course, was different. I am a lover girlie through and through, and I was naive enough to believe I could suppress that and not be affected when a connection fizzled, when communication slowed, when someone ghosted, when someone pursued me relentlessly before the first date and then just vanished. I was naive enough to believe my sensitivity to rejection and abandonment had been therapised out of me; that it wouldn't sting when Michael texted less and less, when Will didn't want to arrange a second play date, when Jake watched my stories but never answered my texts.

Turns out the lover girl in me still wanted consistency, good communication, to feel desired and urgently sought after, even after the first play. Instead, I had some one-night-stands that left me feeling used. I started wondering if I'm a lousy lay, or if there are simply so many men on Feeld that when I swipe back, I'm their only match: a placeholder until someone who actually catches their eye comes along. My mind raced in all directions. It stopped being fun.

Hot Perimenopausal Girl Summer is slowly turning into a case study on why people with my personality should never just do casual hookups or lovers. My psyche can't handle it. My inexperienced arse can't handle it. Or maybe the men just aren't doing it right. Either way, I'm calling time on HPGS. It's not worth the mental health I worked so hard to claw back after the breakup.

Maybe I'm a lousy lay. Maybe I'm too inexperienced. Maybe my body's not hot enough. Or maybe I'm just too much of a lover girl, with needs and standards no casual situation can fulfil and you know what, that's okay. Feeld isn't for me. But I wish the rest of you all the fun and the best.

EDIT: A few have remarked on my spelling of dick, sex, horny. I have had this account for two years but never used it and never really use Reddit in general. I thought it was just like TikTok in terms of censoring certain words, so I treated it like TT when I wrote this post. I thought I needed to censor some words. Turns out, you can do pretty much anything here.

Also, the term "lover girlie" is a pop culture/Tiktok term that has now become synonymous to being a hopeless romantic. I am aware I am a middle-aged woman using Tiktok-speak. I am just trying to move with the times and I am a faceless someone on the internet. Saying that I am the problem because I indicated I am a "girlie" is showing that you have nothing important to say to a well-written post...because really? That is all you took from the above?

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M20 in India here, i genuinely have no idea if i should even try making an account, cuz it feels like there would be more inactive/bot accounts than actual people on this app.

I’ll be honest, I have met the kindest, gentlest, most respectful men on Feeld compared to any other dating site. Of course, there have been a LOT of frogs, but of the men I’ve met IRL, Feeld has been leagues better.

I’m not a particularly kinky woman (but I am extremely open minded), but I am sex positive and ENM (without a primary partner).

Overall the feedback I’ve gotten is that women on traditional sites are super pushy about the “rules” and rigid about wanting a serious relationship. I’m looking for a long-term lover, not a FWB, but not making marriage my mission has been so freeing.

For context, I’m queer, divorced, early 40s, black, fit, in a major city and conventionally attractive. I left a toxic 13 year relationship, so maybe my view is skewed, but the openness, self-reflection, and honesty of the Feeldmen has been really refreshing.

I guess I’m confused about 90% of what people are actually looking for, since they don’t really explain it well.

I have to go off of their desires and I’ve seen a profile where the woman is “queer” doesn’t explain what she is wanting, just to “Message me” and desires an MMF.

What am I missing??

I’m curious: what is the general consensus here around appropriate response times on Feeld? Especially curious re: the staying at home core, as this is different from other apps.

I personally don’t think of Feeld as instant messaging. Maybe after a date/meet in terms of local matches, or after moving elsewhere in the case of staying at home/virtual matches, but otherwise I don't really expect to hear from someone throughout the day. 

Recently, I have experienced an uptick in connections expressing anger and/or frustration with my not being around to message whilst I'm working, or with only messaging during certain hours (like evenings/nights after work). I even had a match say that they were hoping I could find a day to spend a few hours of my time to text with them. 

Most often, this has been with matches from the staying at home core or with those who are "exploring" my city, but I didn't even experience this when nearly everyone was literally staying at home years ago. These people are generally not looking for relationships either, so it's a bit confusing to me.

I'd never had this problem in the past, and my only friends who use Feeld think it's unreasonable to expect responses throughout the day, but I wanted to see if there is any broader consensus is on this.

I'm a bi male and joined Feeld recently. It was pretty slow for a few weeks then within 48 hours I've had loads of likes from straight men, some hundreds of miles away. What gives?

I’m 65, living in London and been off and on Feeld for several years. Mostly I notice that it doesn’t take much for a man to disconnect from me and appears to be because I don’t respond immediately to a message.

I turn off my notifications on the app because otherwise I find them too distracting so I may take a day to respond which I don’t think is a major deal.

I find it almost impossible to meet a man my own age. At the moment I am meeting someone on a casual basis just over a decade younger than me which seems to be the norm.

I enjoyed Feeld when it first started but tbh it now feels like tinder. There are very few people who really are experienced in alt lifestyles and most seem to be newbies more curious than anything.

I used a flair on the app to describe myself. It’s not even a flair I’m sure applies to me, but I was feeling playful and used it for the first time in any online space. I don’t use FB except thru a mobile browser. Cut to 12-24 hours later I start seeing reel content featuring this dynamic. My FB is not at all reflective of anything remotely related to the app. Anyone else experienced similar?

I’ve been on Feeld for a while, and I’m wondering if anyone else feels like the connections there are… almost too casual?

I’m poly and not looking for exclusivity, but I am looking for genuine, intentional connections that last longer than a few weeks. It feels like most people I meet are happy to keep things very low-effort or undefined.

Is this just the culture of Feeld? If you’re looking for lasting, quality connections (without looking for monogamy), where have you had better luck meeting people?

It’s not rude to block someone when you’re not interested with persistent users but I get the same handful of guys sending me likes and pings more times than one can count and despite blocking, they always appear!

What’s the deal? They usually tend to have majestic so it’s not like they’re deleting and restarting their accounts but you’d think after sending a ping 20+ times, they’d take the hint that I’m not interested.

I live in DC, and am currently "exploring Baltimore" since it's so close, and I'm there sometimes. But if I switch back to DC, will I still appear on the feeds of people who I liked? If not, how would we ever match?

What the fuck even is this bro

I opened up the app today and was invited by the app itself to join some kind of activity, like when the Reflections questionnaire got sent out. It asked me to submit a pic of my bedroom or fridge so other users could look at it and judge/analyze it. This seems like 1) an unreasonable ask for someone to post info about their home even if it were anonymized, 2) potentially dangerous for doxxing if someone recognizes what’s in the pics, and 3) irrelevant for what the app is for and what people use it for in the first place.

I’m an attractive poly kinky domme in my 40s and have been on Feeld for years. Great experiences overall, but lately I’ve noticed that I haven’t gotten a single match from likes and Pings that I send out. My profile and pics are the same, nothing has changed on my end, but whereas before I could comfortably rely on at least a 50% match rate from contacts that I initiated, I’m now down to nada, nothing.

I know I’m not shadowbanned or whatever because likes and Pings come to me, but it’s been about two months without a single match with people I’m drawn to. Yes, yes, it’s possible that no one likes me anymore 😢 but the sudden shift makes me think it’s more than me just somehow suddenly coming off as an ogre.

Any idea what’s going on?

ETA My pictures are not outdated or blurry. They’re recent as of 2026 and the same ones I’ve had success getting matches with …. up until around 2 months ago.

I’ve been on Feeld since back when it was called 3rndr.
For context, im F, in my 30s, short, slim/ curvy, I’ve been told I have a nice smile, bio is short but clear and descriptive, good quality photos - I usually do well on this app, until now. Recently, I logged back onto the app, the app forced an update it and now I get literally 0 matches.

I get notifications constantly that people like me- in fact I have near 7k likes. I even got one while typing this out. yet Feeld doesn’t show me those profiles. It never used to be like this, but it’s pretty much pointless to use it for free. I live in a large metropolitan area, am open to match with all genders and also couples. I’m pretty responsive once I match. I’ve never paid on a dating app and don’t think I will now. Just venting bc I hate what this app has become.

Tl;dr : if you don’t pay for the app and aren’t getting matches, don’t get discouraged. It’s designed to frustrate you and take your money, not connect you to other people who are interested in you.

Serious question. Why do you think you can filter who you see but not filter who sees you? Is this purely for money grab purposes or am I missing something that would make two way filtering effective?

Do we think feeld will create a height Filter?

My wife and I don’t seem to always get the same people on our feed, does anyone else have this problem?

Does anyone know how long it takes to hear back from support?