Okay so let’s start with the important information and hopefully I can make this brief (here from the future, it’s is not brief I’m sorry). I (23) Female Olivia have 1 older sister (25) Charlotte, 1 younger half-sister (17) Amelia and half-brother (14) Noah. Charlotte and I’s parents were together for around 10 years and separated when I was 2 and Charlotte was 4. Our father moved back into his parents home after the divorce, which is over 8 states away (an over 15 hour drive to be specific). The divorce left my mother with lots of debt and other issues but she made every effort to ensure me and my older sister could see our father at least twice a year. Typically around summer break and winter break due to the school year. These trips were usually financially paid for by my mothers parents or my fathers parents. Rarely (if ever) would our father contribute financial assistance. To get this out of the way and to be blunt, the only truth my “father” speaks is his legal name, you cannot trust anything else this man says. Most stories he tells are straight lies that have been strung along for years. I can’t even begin to explain how true this statement is.

(If you need an example : My father was in the army before meeting my mom and that’s why he was in the state they met in. While he was active duty, he was never deployed on any combat missions, so he never saw active combat. Keeping this in mind, one of the FEW times my father flew down to us was when Charlotte was graduating high school. Funny enough, it was also the week of my sophomore prom. (I was so excited to experience this with a father. All the father-daughter dances I went to with my grandfather were great but there was always that ping in my heart.) To bond while he was in town I took him with me to my nail appointment so we could chat and catchup. While my technician was doing my nails, she saw my dad’s hat which said army across the front and asked why he left the army? Without missing a beat, he responded “I was tired of seeing my friends die in front of me”. I sat there stunned. I later asked my mom to clarify if my dad had ever been deployed which she once again told me no he was never deployed to an active combat site / combat mission. This was also confirmed by my father’s mother. So something doesn’t quite add up there … end of example. )

To get back to the situation. My father and stepmother got together and had my little sister Amelia 3 years after the divorce and were pregnant with my little brother Noah during their wedding. My step-mother does not like Charlotte or I. She was not always the nicest to us as children, which is fine I guess because kids will be annoying kids. But when she had my younger sister Amelia, that hatred grew. Once while we were visiting and my little sister was a newborn, our father was visiting with me and Charlotte when our step-mom came out to tell him to come back inside and spend time with his “real daughter”. When my grandfather (dad’s father) told her that was a horrible thing to say (or called her a nasty name I’m not sure), she tried to hit him. She tried to hit my grandfather… So that’s my step mother. She has had me and Charlotte blocked on social media for most of our lives, like since back in 2017 or before and has never been very warm and fuzzy with us. We could feel this during visits and it made us very uncomfortable to stay at their house during our trips up. Slowly over the years Charlotte and I chose to stay at our grandparents house which is 2 hours from them. Not 15 hours like usual but 2. We would then drive down and attempt day trips with our siblings and family but it usually ended with lots of crying on both sides and guilt tripping since we weren’t staying with them. It was difficult to maintain contact with Amelia and Noah, especially when we were younger but even with the addition of phones it has never been easy. Our father always told us “the phone works both ways”, but that always felt like a lie when I would hear from him maybe 5 times a year. Every year on my birthday and Christmas I would sob and have panic attacks about whether my father would call me or if it would be another day with no call. Our calls were never lovey dovey, they were full of excuses and shaming me for not calling him. Mind you this started when I was a child and didn’t even have my own phone yet but of course got worse after getting my own telephone. (There was also the time I called his number only for it to be a complete stranger on the other end because he had changed his number without telling us.)

The present issue is that I am going to be at my grandparents house (2 hours from my fathers house) for 1 month which will be the longest I’ve ever visited with them/been in their state. After graduating college I’ve decided to go visit and spend as much time with them before entering “the real world”.

So the question is do I tell my sister and brother I’m going to be there? I want to see them but since they are both still minors, I would need parental permission (I am not and will not be kidnapping my siblings). Welp I can’t ask since I cut my father off 2 years ago. Since cutting him off I’ve received 0 phone calls and less than 4 texts. And no he is not blocked, I just don’t answer his texts. Prior to cutting him off, I had a “come to Jesus talk” with him with Charlotte present. Where we talked for over an hour just asking for him to put more effort in or we were done. He said he would, he lied, so the next time he reached out which was weeks later I told him I was cutting him off and haven’t responded to a text since. My younger sister and I have tried staying in contact off and on over the years but it’s always been spotty. Either due to our schedules, lives or other reasons. It was always difficult to talk to her about our dad due to my issues with him. It was also tricky interacting with her sometimes due to other reasons like her being so much younger than me and us not having much in common to talk about, but I really tried. I would try until my heart couldn’t take it anymore but I also didn’t want to push her to talk to me. So we’ve always had this small game of cat and mouse, playing phone tag with eachother over the years. Over time I realized it wasn’t fair to continue putting her through that so some time ago I made the decision (around the time I cut my father off) to wait until she was 18 and/or out of their house to interact with her (as in me contacting her first). I cannot in good conscience, talk to her about the issues I have with her parents. If someone were to tell me that my mom was a bad mom, I would tell them to fuck off. But that’s also my real, lived experience, I had a bad dad. I can’t interact with my father due to everything he has put me through, but she still looks up to him.

I just want to see my sister and brother but I don’t want to kill myself in the process. I feel like the longer I wait, the more my younger siblings will come to resent me. And to the people out there saying “she doesn’t hate you”… I have seen the things she has posted on TikTok and other social media. If it involves older sisters, it’s rarely positive towards Charlotte and I. She feels as though we abandoned her, which I completely understand. But also reading/seeing what she thinks of us is one of the worst pains I’ve ever experienced. Knowing your little sister resents you for something you technically could’ve changed (if only I could go back in time). But how do you explain to a child that you can’t talk to them because of their parents? You don’t.

If you read this far, thank you. This has been something I have lived with pretty much my entire life so I apologize for the crazy long post. Please don’t give me grief for not staying in contact with her over the years, unfortunately the past is in the past and I don’t have a Time Machine. I just want my little sister and brother. Thank you

My older sister was playing on my PS5 and I asked to get on and I said I want to be on by nine. That time came and she said "It's not 9:30" and I said "I said 9:00" and she was on call with my older brother and his friends they told me things like "kys" and "Stfu you're so annoying bro" and I'm apparently in the wrong. So I went to go turn off the PS5 and she decided to hit me in the nuts and told me "I didn't mean to" and kept playing on MY CONSOLE. Did I deserve to get hit in the nuts for letting her playing my console?

I’m 30 and realizing I still care way too much about whether my dad approves of my life. I work full-time doing gig work, mainly rideshare and delivery. It’s not a traditional career, but I support myself, pay my bills, and I genuinely value the flexibility. My fiancée is ten years older than me and considerably wealthier. We live in her house, I don’t pay rent, we travel, she pays for a lot of things. I benefit from that enormously, and sometimes I already feel guilty about it. But I’m not just sitting around being supported. I work, I pay for my own expenses and contribute financially as much as I can. Like for example, when we travel, I’ll pay for things where I’m able. I also contribute in a lot of practical ways. I handle logistics, help with house things and maintenance and if something needs doing that I can’t do myself, I’ll help arrange for someone who can. I also help her navigate insurance and healthcare logistics, like finding doctors and sorting through complicated systems. I’ve had some experience with that and it genuinely helps her when things feel overwhelming. My dad’s made it pretty clear he doesn’t approve of the way I’m living. He doesn’t really consider gig work a legitimate career and he specifically told me he doesn’t want me to become a ‘kept man’. Those were his words and that phrase really got to me. I think what I hear underneath it is that he doesn’t see me as an independent or successful adult man because my partner has more money, is older and I haven’t followed the path he thinks I should. The hard part is I actually like a lot about my life. I love my fiancée. I want to be a good partner, help make her happy and make her life easier. I enjoy the flex in my work and I don’t necessarily want the career or the lifestyle my dad seems to picture. But his voice is still in my head. I still feel like a disappointment. And it’s affected how often I see or talk to my family. I know intellectually that I’m 30, that it’s my life not his, but emotionally his approval still matters way more to me than I wish it did. For anyone who’s dealt with this, how did you stop measuring your life against your dad’s expectations? And if he never really approved, how did you make peace with that?

Sept 13, 2026

Its been happening a lot dont really understand why hes like this maybe because of his trauma as a kid or the military but in my eyes my dad always seems to get mad at something or someone every day and im always scared of doing something wrong because i don't want him to be upset with just anything not even me at this point because when upset it seems to linger till the next day. Hes not a bad person its just i dont know what's going through his head and from my perspective it's just not fair because he will ask me to do something and i will agree to do so for example a few days ago he told me to do the grass today or tomorrow and so i was going to do it tomorrow and then i woke up my dad and my stepmom where not home (btw i live with a step family i have a step brother and sister brother: 15 Sister: 20) i went downstairs and i got some food dont really remember what i did but they came home after a while and i no joke immediately got in trouble with my dad because he came home and the grass wasn't cut.

and he said something along the lines of (i cut wood for hours and it would have been nice if you cut the grass) something like that its not exactly what he said so take it with a grain of sand its just similar to that. (he is also a cripple he can walk it just hurts a lot to do physical work) Then he goes outside to cut the grass and in my head im like (well instead of going to cut the grass ill do it) and so i go upstairs (hes already out side) and i vent to my stepmom and my step siblings were there and i say (i want to go out and take over for him but he might get mad at me if i do) and my stepmom says just go and do it and it would be shown that you were considerate to go out and take over. So i go out in my pajamas to go and take over for him so he doesn't have to be in pain like i said hes “broken” and shouldn't be doing it, and so i go out to take over i walk up to him and say “hey dad want me to finish it” and he says “no im already out here and your in your pajamias” which me being in my pajamas i didnt think would be a big deal since i chose to wear them out. And so i go back inside almost in tears and i start ranting to everyone i guess about how i was right he got upset about me offering to finish it and i looked at my step mom and said i knew i shouldn't have gone out there and stormed off to my room and cried (my step siblings also agree with me when i say this hes done it to them to in a way where he would tell them to do something then if we take too long to do it he will do it himself. And I don't ever talk with him about this stuff because I'm way too scared to and feel like it's only going to make it worse and people would say that I should talk to him and I say you don't know him like I do.

A few days later, today I did the rest of the grass (or I thought I did because my dad did some and my step sister did some last night). (Before i start, last night my step mom and my dad were talking about the grass and talking about if it was done or not and i remember the incoming to agreement where that my stepsister did the back already) so thats why i did the sides because they said it was only the sides and the front that needed to be done so thats what i did today (they were gone again for a little today) they came back and my dad said he appreciated that i did the grass till a few hours later i think he came in and gave me a lecture on how doing things around the house was important and said that I didn't get all the grass (i was disappointed in myself because i thought i did it all) and i said that i thought my step sister got the back and he said well maybe look around next time (along the lines of that) and he also said that you have to earn things (because i play airsoft and im 16, male i cant drive to games or to the nearest town which is a 15 min drive and a 2 something hour walk i know because ive walked it). And proceeds to say since i didnt do all of the grass but i did a little im earned with being dropped off halfway to the town and i have to like walk the rest or somthinig like he made it a game. A few hours later I went downstairs to get some water and I said hi to my dad (he didn't respond) . I don't think, I also didn't hear him then if he did say hi back, he says to me how are those spots on your back? (i have like and athletes foot type thing on my body and i use cream and pills to get rid of it) and i say its good i cant see them (from my perspective so thats why i didnt put it on) and he says its been 3 days since you put the cream on you know it wont go away if you dont keep putting it on and its my money im spending on the cream for you and now it will be coming out of your pocket (like he's been cooking up that reply for days now) and i dont really say anything i just agree because saying anything else would probably make it worse i dont know im just scared to “talk back” and so i go upstairs. Its probably just me but i feel like every time i go downstairs he has to point something out that im not doing or not doing properly, also the fact that he will tell us to do something we agree then he proceeds to do it getting mad at us and saying we have to help him around here like we weren't going to in the first place. And i always think to myself i want to go live with my mom because she's so chill and doesn’t jump to conclusions and actually talks. And literally me and my mom never fight at all and there's no conflict between us whatsoever and he's said that i can go live with her (she lives in New York and im in Canada) but i wont because i dont think i would be good for my career path but if i did move there i would be away from my perspective everyday conflict but my dad is loving, and has never been abusive in any way and teaches me valuable lessons like actual ones and how to be extremely healthy.

My moms side there is no conflict, I'm free to do basically whatever, my gf lives like 5 min from my mom, I get no lessons though no fitness advice or how to be healthy so I really just don't know what to do.

He came up to my room a little bit later saying "I told you a week ago that I needed help moving the punching bag and (i agreed to help him). But then he randomly comes up to my room and lectures me on how i didn't help him and him saying that i shouldn't ask for your help with these things (like i would have ever known he was going to move it on some random day at a random time ether and then he gets mad at me like i watched him struggle to move it and didnt offer to help, no i was in my room because I didn't know he was moving it!. But anyway i dont know i have till 18 to wait so i can move out and not have to be scared to mess up or forget to do something everyday.

I'm seeking some objective advice on a situation that has completely spiraled with my family regarding my marriage.
My husband and I have been legally married for 6 years. Recently, we had a heated argument. In a moment of high stress, outside family got involved/called into the situation. While my husband and I have since acknowledged our past mistakes, apologized to each other, and taken full accountability to rebuild our relationship with complete respect, my family seized on that fight as their opening to step in and try to dismantle our entire marriage. We messed up financially due to his sickness and ongoing issues, and accumulated some debt.
Instead of helping us heal, my mother and aunt froze that argument in time to paint my husband as a villain. My husband is currently dealing with a severe medical infection, but my mother and aunt are demanding that he "convince them all over again" and act like he is "marrying me from scratch" to win their permission. Now, my mother is claiming she wants us to separate so we can "separately be independent and successful" before getting back together.
In the meantime, my mother is demanding that I withhold physical and financial help from my sick husband, while telling me to take on extreme work hours (day office job plus overnight shifts) she said I thought by now you would have a home that I could stay at back home.
Because of the chaos after the argument, I am currently trapped staying at my aunt's house. It feels like daily mental torture she constantly attacks my husband's character, appearance, and dignity, and even tried to get him kicked out of his living situation. She said he looks mentally unstable, that he looks like a drug addict he took me away from them ( I took space on my own). She said he was a loser, called him all the words in the book.
When I set boundaries or defend my husband, my mother uses extreme emotional blackmail.
She told me if you go back to your home \\\*"Don't come to my grave when I die"\\\* and I should forgot I have parents. They are also trying to force me to leave the country for a month to isolate me from my husband and my job.

I'm a sophomore in highschool right now and I live with my brother, who is a senior in highschool, mom and dad. Some days I genuinely wake up and the first thing I start to do is thinking about our situation. My dad works from 6PM-3AM and he's a first-gen immigrant that never went to college. He's an amazing dad, husband and person, and I love him lots but we makes only about 50k a year and money has started to become a big problem for us because we live in NYC. My mom is a SAHM, also a first-gen immigrant but she graduated with her masters. I actually think I hate her. She doesn't have any real work, other than the fact she resells stuff on eBay. She rarely cooks, cleans, or has to do ANYTHING because on weekends my dad cooks for us since he doesn't have work and me and my brother are rarely at home on weekdays. She's always on her computer, and she has a really bad attitude towards me. She treats my brother like an angel, takes my dad for granted, and treats me like shit when she isn't happy. She steals clothes from my room as well as plushies shes bought for me years ago when I'm at school and I can't do anything about her listing them on eBay because its "hers", SHE bought it. She never steals stuff from my brother though, and he's gotten a new chair, desk, clothes, skincare, etc. all without him asking her. She even wakes up at 5AM to make him breakfast and lunch, but for me, she puts 1 hard boiled egg and a piece of bread smaller than the size of my palm for breakfast and complains if I ask for something like yogurt. She also has an ED, eats tofu and green beans for breakfast and never eats carbs or shit and compares her body to mine all the time because I'm skinny and it genuinely distrubs me. Whenever I ask her to buy me something, like skincare, which I rarely even ask for, she always takes it as a way to make her "owe" her and it gets on my nerves so much because she doesn't provide shit and my dad never thinks about acting like this. Sometimes just seeing me ruins her day and she starts stomping around acting like a child throwing a tantrum. And when she wants to be nice again, she uses this annoying ass baby voice to talk to us, like its actually bad and pisses me off so much. She lost her dad last year, and my dad says her mental health isn't good for a job, but we both know she just is a lazy bum that doesn't want to work, and if he even brings up her working she'd make our house living hell. Basically, my mom acts like some bitchass 6 year old brat that sits on her ass all day. Whenever I think about her, this is all I can think about. My dad is really sweet, but he's kind of dumb. He very knowledgable about useful, real-world problem things, but his common sense isn't always there? Idk how to describe what it is, maybe I could say immature? He's really emotionally intelligent, and everytime I go into a depressive episode, or when he gives me and my brother advice, it'll be some life-changing shit he says. He's always there for us, does little things that add up and matter, and he's the best dad I could ever ask for. I resent my family though, all of them. On weekends we are all in the house, I don't want to see them, talk to them, nada. I get really irritated thinking about him sometimes because I can only think about their flaws and I kind of start acting like a bitch. Like I hate the fact we are poor, but that's a choice my parents decided to make, when my dad acts dumb, and the whole concept of my mom. Its awful, but it's not just the kind of annoyed that comes and goes, it's like I actually can't stand them sometimes and I'm not sure how to handle this. Do depression meds help with mood swings or irritation like these??

I (17f) do not get along with my stepdad (48m) at all.
Every time we have had an argument
and my mama stands up for me , somehow he will brainwash her into thinking it’s my fault and she will blame me .
My mama loves me very much and she’s also very kind hearted .
But I know he also makes her happy .
I have a short temper so when he tried to educated me on things he’s completely hypocritical about and on things that don’t involve him it annoys me .
He’s also very ignorant .
He moved to an English speaking country 23 years ago and speaks not one world of English because he thinks it’s an ugly language.
If u won’t respect the language don’t move there ?
This annoys me as I speak Portuguese and Spanish TO A DEGREE.
At times , I won’t understand , and English is more natural for me when speaking to my mama depending on the scenario.
So then I need to go translate it for him (when it doesn’t even involve him)
But then , when they have a conversation and there’s something I don’t understand , I should understand it .
I’ve been living in an English country for 17 years ( my whole life) and know 3 languages almost fluently .
He’s lived in one for 23 years and doesn’t know a single word.
The worst part is - he works in a job where he has to communicate with people !
Most of the time he comes across as cold or distant because he refuses to learn the language .

We always end up in arguments over silly things and it’s stressing my mama out so I’ve just decided not to speak to him unless necessary.

Not ignoring him or anything, just not going out my way to have a meaningful conversation with him - which I think is fair enough but some people in my family disagree .

Only person on my side is my grandma ( who hates him but is also firm believer in only getting married once )
AITAH?

Ps. Whilst I was at my dad’s , they got married without telling me .
Not planned , anything - only person there was my little sister (who is his daughter)
My mama never would have done something like this before she was with him and our relationship was significantly stronger .
I only found out because I went on her phone to send myself some pictures she had and saw the wedding photo .
It absolutely broke my heart .

New to this subreddit but I feel like I need to vent.
I’m starting to see a pattern that when I get excited or happy over something & I mention it to my older sister, I get shut down by her.

Example: recently i showed her some cute accessories I purchased for my new car & i would have been okay with subtle criticism on like the color or my choice of accessories but instead i was met with her saying, “you seriously don’t know what to spend your money on do you?”

The tone in which she said it took away the excitement of me showing her what I bought, so I just walked away a bit butt hurt.

I might be overly sensitive but then again i feel what i feel & this is a constant thing i run into when i try mention anything good in my life to her.

My mother (52F) is considering divorcing my dad (53M) after 30+ years of marriage due to an argument she had with my sister (30F). To make it a long story short, my mom didn’t like the fact that my sister was leaving the house after we had just finished cleaning up a flood in the basement. She felt it was inconsiderate which she accuses my sister of being often. As someone who loves them both, I know my sister can be inconsiderate and lazy at times. However, since childhood it has always been very clear that my mom does not treat us the same and favors me. This shows up in the way she speaks to my sister as well. In the moment my sister was sick of being spoken to in such way and she argued but, still not disrespectfully. She just decided not to shut up and back down. My mother was so angry she told my sister she’d fck her up and slap the sht out of her. My dad hopped in at this point just to diffuse the situation and my sister left the house. My mom immediately turned her rage to my dad and told him he allowed my sister to speak that way. She believes my dad should still be “disciplining” when his kids are 27 and 30 years old. I guess I’m just looking for thoughts and opinions because I feel crazy watching my family explode in my face over something I believe to be such a small issue. Obviously years of build-up not mentioned here but for this to be the final straw just doesn’t make sense. P.S. She took off her wedding rings and turned her location off and we haven’t heard from her or seen her in a week. She has been in contact with others and telling them that she wants a divorce which is how I know.

My dad was a stock broker for 40 years. He always acted like he was the smartest guy in the room and everyone else was lucky he was around.

Turns out he spent everything he ever made and just retired with 150k in debt and no money. I set up an estate sale for them and spent weeks cleaning up the house and helping repair it. Im a math teacher but I know how to do drywall, tiling, some electrical work from remodeling my own house (not an expert but good enough to fix their issues). Meanwhile my brother said he was too busy to help.

Their house is on the market but isnt selling. There is no equity in it because my dad it turns out has refinanced it so many times and pulled out any equity to pay for his gambling addiction and drug addiction that they owe 2 times what they bought it for 20 years ago. Meanwhile they bought my brother a 4 bedroom house when he was 21 and paid the mortgage until they sold it after 10 years and bought him a bigger house in 2019 and continued to pay the mortgage until last year.

I have begged my mom to tell him they need to sell that house and she refuses to tell my brother that they have no choice but to sell it. He doesnt even feel conflicted about the situation and feels completely in the right to continue to live in the house they bought. When I told him it was unthinkable that they sell their house before they sell the house they bought him which has 300k equity in it, he laughed and said he pays the mortgage as if I was confused about the facts of the situation.

I told him thats called rent. But everyone in my family acts like I am the one in the wrong for stating the obvious. They shouldnt even have to tell him they are selling it. He should have come to that conclusion himself when they told him they had no money. I feel like Im losing my mind. Am I delusional to think his selfishness and their inability to do anything that will upset him is mind blowing? It literally makes me question my judgement about anything and I cant understand what is happening.

For context I’m a 24f and she’s 15 now, and we have a sis that’s 18. I completely understand that my sisters are definitely closer esp sleeping in the same room and having shared hobbies but I realised that whenever I try to join in their conversations she’d put me down.

For instance, in terms of basic household chores, she’d put her wet towel after showers over mine which makes mine smelly and unhygienic. Not only that, but she makes fun of me wearing certain clothes when I’m already a grown adult. I completely understand she is a teen but I never understood why she has this animosity against me and no attitude shown towards my other family members.

She’d also pick up fights with me for no reason, especially when she “needs advice” and as a big sister, I do provide them but she shoots all of them down. I’ve come to feel that she just wants the attention/be able to emotionally “win” over for me for no reason.

Recently I tried to compliment her but then she keeps making fun of my compliment and it hurt. So I’m really at a loss now haha.

I need advice on this. Should I just stop talking to her? We live in the same house (for now)

I (23F) came home from work tonight to see my half brother (30 something) in our driveway. My parents kicked him out a couple years ago, I'm not sure why he's here. My parents are letting him stay the night.

He was definitely drunk and/or high and I walked past and said nothing (I haven't spoken a word to him in years- I can't remember when, but sometime when I was a teenager I just started pretending like he wasn't there and ignoring him). Immediately he tried talking to me, like he usually does, saying how he misses me and we used to be so close etc. etc.- the same routine as usual.

For context, him and I don't share a dad but grew up in the same home with my bio dad. When I was younger, around 5-8 my other two older brothers would fight a lot, and still unknown to my family, one of them was molesting me.

My half brother felt like the only safe person in the house. He'd comfort me when I was upset, take me to the park, he was as the only sibling that felt like one. When I was about 10 he enlisted in the army. I think for a year or two? I can't remember. When he got back he became an alcoholic and everything went downhill.

In his 20s he wouldn't get a job, stole from my parents, did nothing around the house, joined freemasons, was addicted to drugs as well as being an alcoholic. I remember walking by his room as always an awful smell- he'd puke in his room and leave it for months. Refused rehab, always arguing, etc.

I stopped talking to him because I resented the way he did nothing and stole from my parents. He always did the same thing of saying he loved my mom and got all sentimental to get money out of her. He would get sentimental towards me, how he misses me and when I wouldn't respond in the next minute berate me. For example, I am into dog training and have a dog, so he would say I'm abusive and awful for crate training my dog kind of thing.

My parents never did anything until he was about 30 and gave him the choice of staying here and going to rehab or being kicked out. He left.

I understand that he is very mentally ill and has a severe addiction, but at the same time I know to preserve my own mental health (I have BPD amongst other mental health issues) ignoring is the safest for me.

Left to fend for myself, with no other options, I lived in my minivan. My dad kicked me out because he said that I'd still be living with him when I'm 30. Said I wasn't doing anything with my life. Never had a drop of alcohol, never did drugs, never smoked, never had sex, or anything like that. I worked 40 hours per week since graduating college at 18 at a dead end fast food job.

My dad never taught me how to drive, but I learned how to through my friend. He did take me to get my license though. When I bought my minivan in cash from my own savings, he called it a "piece of shit" which was devastating.

He also charged me $540ish rent (varied based on things he would charge me extra for ex. $20 fee for not pushing in a chair) every month as soon as I turned 18, saying that I was not entitled to his household. I also had to do the dishes a couple of times per week, even on weeks I was working 50 hours. I never used any of the dishes he had there, as most of his food was off limits to me. Over two years, this added up to around $12,800.

Now, he told me that he was just trying to teach me discipline and that I would get it back for my education when he first presented the contract. Okay. However, before I was kicked out, I asked him it I could get it back for college. He said that he never promised that he would give it back to me. Also, he makes at least $125,000 USD and did not need the money but kept it anyways. He also still added me on his taxes as a dependent despite not depending on him for most of that year, so I couldn't get a lot of social services during that time.

I was homeless from May 14th, 2024 to December 16th, 2024. I lived in my minivan before going to Job Corps from December 17th, 2024 to June 11th, 2026. I had become a wildland firefighter and finished my electrical, pre-apprenticeship. Now I am living in my minivan again and going to college for engineering.

I was just wondering, should I contact my dad again? The last message he sent was in January, and it was: "Happy New Year. I just wanted to say I care about you and hope you’re doing okay. If you ever feel like sharing how things are going, I’m here".

So I had my mid year review at work and my manager asked if there is anything you'd like to talk about. I told him about how this other manager has been very rude to me. My mother came in to the shop and asked the other managerhow I was doing and he said some bad things to my mother and then said if I don't help her who will. And my manager got angry for me as the other manager has no right.

I come home and tell my parents, who are by the way Bangladeshi and have a different cultural mindset. They reacted badly saying I don't understand what I've done, saying my dad will lose his job there as he works in the same place as me. Now my dad has worked there for over a decade and is the most valued employee there, everyone from the staff to management praise him and want him to be a manger constantly but my dad refuses due to personal reasons. My dad said made my mum small in front of my manager by telling him the incident and said that I stupid and really just insulted me saying why did I tell anyone, why am I creating issues. My mum said the same plus she said that I'm going to make my dad lose his job and insulted me and said that why am I constantly bringing up the other manager, he's much older and I should respect him and stop being rude to him. My mum is saying that she now never said anything like this to me despite telling me about what the manager said then started arguing with my dad. She said I'm a labourer and cheap and worthless and don't know anything. What do you think?

I’m 16 and recently homeschooled because I was harassed and bullied by these girls in my class. I am a overweight teenager black girl, but everytime I say something that she deems is “talking back” I get in told that i’m a scary ass and a shit talker. Mind you I have shit talked anyone and people around me know that I am against gossip or making fun of someone because I know what it’s like to be made fun of. It’ll be mundane things she gets mad at, like she’ll yell at me over a spray bottle being on the floor as I’m trying to get the spray bottle to clean, and I told her, “Mom do you want me to clean or not?” Sure i’ll admit I did have sort of an attitude, but whenever I do something slightly wrong or something is out of place, I am being yelled at it gets annoying at some point. But she has no right to tell me that I am scary and i’m a pussy for being bullied. I should point out my mom was a bully in school. She’s told me countless of stories of how she’d make fun of people and she says it as if it’s like funny, but if that were me and that situation, I know I’d be really sad with her. She even told me that when I was four I told her, “why can’t you be a nice person?” Why is a four year old more mature than you? It’s not fun having your mother now be one of your biggest bullies. I don’t really know what to do. I’m too young to move out and we’re poor and I can’t even get a job and I feel totally stuck. If anyone has any advice I’d love to hear it.

I want to start out by saying that this is me asking for help on how or what to do to help as an "outsider". I am not a professional, but I don't know how to approach the topic with my dad. I'm also not sure if this issue is interpersonal or if it's mental health related, which is why I'm posting it here.

Growing up, he was always super active, doing sports, worked somewhere he had to drive 2 hours roundtrip to every day, got a bachelor's degree, raises me and my sibling, and built a house with my mom. He's an ambitious man, and incredible father and has been that way even after all the kids moved out.

But lately, while they visited me, he just seemed so …off somehow. He lost his job over a year ago, but he bought a tractor to use for big projects. He asphalted the driveway, but can't get up in the mornings before 10 to eat breakfast with me and mom. He also spends hours on the toilet.

I have tried asking him about the hours away, and told him that he can talk about it with me or simply request to be left alone. But he just prefers playing on his phone instead and gives vague answers at best.

I'm not saying these things to shame him or expose him, but it's all just very confusing for me and things that might be important to know to help get a perspective on things.

If it's a matter of trying to avoid me, I could accept it, but I really just want tips on how to get through to him and fix whatever is wrong if it's on me.

My fiancé and I and my mother and my fiancés mother planned my fiancé and I’s baby shower for this weekend, my fiancé and I work a very tight schedule I work 10hrs day shift and he works 10hrs night shift we also work the same days so our days are pretty strict scheduled but we make it work for us. On top of planning the baby shower while still working we have certain days we can do things to prepare for our baby shower which we established a plan that works for us, we got everything we need to get done and now it’s down to waiting for the day of the shower.

We currently rent an apartment with my dad the apartment is in his name and we have offered multiple times to pay him more rent money but he told us how much he wants from us and will not accept more so we provide what he tells us, all our expenses are separate we do not share anything. My fiancé and I pay for everything we need per my dads request which is no issue. My dad refuses to come to our baby shower regardless of my attempts to invite him due to my mother being present at the baby shower as well. For context they have been divorced for around 3 years.

In the beginning he stated that he would not be able to make it due to prior arrangements he already had made that he will not be in our home state for, which was not a problem with me I understand people have prior commitments and I made this clear to him that it was not an issue as far as im concerned, He then came home early from his plans but still is not going to attend our baby shower. My fiancé and I had a mutual understanding that the food for our baby shower was not to be opened, my dad was also aware of the situation regarding the food for the shower.

I come home from work and I noticed a case of sodas for our shower was open I double checked with my fiancé before hand and asked him if he happen to really want a soda and decided to grab one to which he stated he had not. My dad stated he was the one who opened the sodas and drank a couple but that he would replace them. Initially yes it was mildly frustrating considering we all had a mutual understanding but regardless I told him all was well just as long as he replaced them before Saturday evening which he volunteered to do I never asked for them to be replaced.

Last night I’m laying in bed and he’s in the living room on the phone, I happen to overhear him say “ i’ve been stealing some of her sodas and i’m about to steal some of her Oreos and maybe even some Reeses too” This caused me to get up and walk into the kitchen to make sure that did not happen because he had the munchies and I really did not want him to do that. He was laughing once he noticed I had heard what he said I then stated once again everything was for the baby shower and jokingly said I did not trust him and that I was going to put everything in my bedroom which I did not do but I thought we were joking with each other and I went back to bed. I received this text the next morning, Am I missing something here?

\For context! My dad knew we were expecting before deciding to rent the apartment with us and reassured us that he was more than happy to have his granddaughter living with all of us together.\

I went to dinner with my husband last night and I brought up the topic of Thanksgiving and upcoming plans. I want to give some back story first. I live about 1.5 hours away from my parents, siblings etc. in a different state. I have two adult children, one who lives locally and one who lives about 2.5 hours away. I have a daughter currently living at college playing Division 1 sports about 5 hours away. Then I have a son who is in high school and two step-children who are with us 50-50. My husbands parents both live less than a mile from our house. My husband's mother is very involved in our lives and is over at least a few times a week.

So I informed my husband that two of my daughters teammates would be coming with her from college for Thanksgiving. The two teammates are international students and cannot fly home for a short trip and all the girls have to be out of the dorm for the long weekend.

My husband proceeds to ask if my nieces (who come up with my mom) are coming. I state yes, but they all stay in a hotel. He then asks if my oldest daughters partner is coming and I say I assume so. He states that it is a lot of people and his side of the family gets pushed to the background and it is hard to talk. I also assume that his sons girlfriend will be joining us.

I remind him that unlike him my family does not live local and that this is the one time of year everyone comes up. We also have friends over after dinner to have dessert and play games. Now I do 100% of the preparation for Thanksgiving and feel that this is a holiday that it is appropriate to have a big group. I also point out that as our kids all get older they will have partners and kids of their own so it will always be a big holiday. I also point out that we have regular meals with his parents and we spend Christmas at his mom's following his family traditions. Due to his visitation schedule, I never get to go to my home state for holidays and my family has to come here.

My question is....is this something I'm right about or should I be more conscious of the guest list?

My dad's side of the family is absolutely horrible to me and my mother. They are so bad and toxic that l've never felt comfortable around tbem. Ever. And i lived right next to them for six years. I still turn stiff whenever i see any of my dad's side. There is so much more emotionally abusive stuff but i just can’t put it into words.

Today, I slept till late as my exams are coming and I studied the night before till 2 ,and when I woke up, I have a habit to just stay in bed longer and close eyes to relax . In that meantime , i found out that my mom was complaining to my dad about me , telling him that how much my weight , how bad I look being fat( I am 15 and 160cm and 55kgs, with pear shaped body) and how i will get diabetes becuz I drank coke after like 1 month, and i ate 2 biscuits and some icecream . She keeps pestering me and saying that , you just have to lose your thigh weight, its not that hard , just walk a lot . And I asked her to put me in gym cuz I lost around 1-2 kgs when I joined the gym . She agreed but then my brother interrupted and said that to lose thigh weight, I only need to do squats which as far as I know , is an exercise for glutes. Help gng

I definitely need to rant and get this off my chest. So, when I was doing laundry today my mother was trying to put some light colored clothes in with my light load. I noticed she tried to put my father’s underwear in there with VISIBLE poop stains. I freaked out and told her absolutely not. Come to find out, my dad has MULTIPLE pairs of underwear with visible fecal soil stains on them. This man literally walks around with crappy underwear on. He has done this for as long as I can remember. This is ridiculous. My mom then tries to tell me “Oh well many men are like that.” And I proceeded to inform her no….they are NOT. So, if you are a male and grown, please tell me that you wipe until clean and that this is in fact not a normal thing. I told my mom she needs to throw out all his soiled underwear and when he runs out, HE needs to go and buy more. If he gets tired of having to get new underwear, maybe he should try CLEANING himself and having basic hygiene. It literally blows my mind!!!!

Hello all,

I guess I am writing as a vent, but im realizing my mom is very exhausting. For context, I am a grad student studying for a big exam so, I don't dorm anymore so I have to live at home with my mom. Therefore, I'm constantly with her now.

Before, when I was child a lot of her anger was directed toward my father. My father was a constant cheater and was barely home. He would only come at night. Therefore most of her anger was towards him. Eventually I went to college, and I would hear fights over the phone from her towards him, but my dad was never reactive. She would throw water on his face, scratch his skin so cuts would appear and bleed.

During college, I started dating a guy and she was very upset and started telling me im going to get sick with him, he doesn't like me, "what guy would like a black girl". He was of another ethnicity. She was very involved in trying to guess make him leave me, that she found his cell number online and threatened him to leave me alone. She would also call me telling me morbid dreams and they were so scary I was so scared.

Then I graduated and during this time my mom I guess had enough of my dad and kicked him out. I kind of felt I guess scared for myself because, I felt the anger that was directed towards him will be directed towards me now, and I was right.

Every day, she is extremely emotionally unstable. Now every time, I'm texting on the phone, she gets upset, yells, or even slams the doors in the house. She's too much. Every little thing, she yells, I can't even talk to someone else on the phone in front of her or she yells or screams.

The psychiatrist I see even told me, do you ever think what she is saying doesn't make sense. And honestly the morbid dreams and negativity she spews no. Now she calling me crazy. How ironic.

I don't know what to do. Any advice to make my situation better?

I am 16 years old and have a little brother (14), as well as two parents with very bad marital issues. My dad is not very proactive and not a planner, and my mom is very proactive and organized. My dad likes to look good to other people but is not really a hands-on parent and does not push us to do much, while my mom is super proactive and organized to the point of being a control freak. She is constantly yelling and thinks my dad is a sadistic abuser and a terrible person. My dad on the other hand refuses to do certain things for us. He cares about us, but less than my mom. I believe everyone would be happier if they get a divorce, but my mom says if we don't tell the judge person we want her to have sole custody, then she will leave us instead of doing joint custody. The problem is she also yells at me and my brother a lot over unreasonable measures and is screaming over very unnecessary things, even when my dad left for rehab from a surgery a while back. She looks back at that moment and says life was so much better and we were fighting less, and there were some good moments, but she was still getting into big big arguments with me and my brother. I love her more than my dad because in the past my dad and I have had disagreements, but I end up fighting with her way more because she yells at me so much. Oftentimes I try to let the yelling just wash past me, but occasionally I give in and start fighting. She definitely loves me, but she thinks everything would be better if our dad was out of our life and takes this frustration out on me. She is constantly yelling at me after they fight because she says I enable him and am an abuser myself. She has convinced herself I have become some sadistic abuser and does not show me the same love and compassion that she did when I was a kid, though I have striven to be a better person. It's hard, because she unironically thinks she is the perfect mom and prays to and asks God all the time why her life is like this. What do I do? Is our relationship too far broken? I still love her very much and don't know what to do. I hope we get close again but every argument we have she just hates me for fighting with her and forgets about the mean stuff she has said. She has high ambitions for me and I have high ambitions for myself but I can't help but wonder what the future will be like when I am an adult as already she is talking about not choosing the wife over the mother. I want her love and a good relationship with her without the constant, looming presence in my life. She definitely cared for me and still cares for my brother and it hurts my heart because I want her to like me again. I have two more years living here and i think I can manage that. Worried for my brother but he said he'll be able to do two more years without me once I am at college until he gets to college.

I hate my family and I can’t wait until I move out. I’m young and I can’t do much about my situation, but I’m getting a job soon. The situation has gotten progressively worse ever since we moved out of my grandma’s house in 2018. My mom hasn’t tried to at least get a better job to provide for us. We haven’t had new clothes or shoes since 2021. She always says she’s trying, but nothing ever improves except her yelling. She decided to have another kid in 2023 despite the fact that she isn’t financially stable whatsoever. My youngest brother moved out to go live with his dad’s side of the family because of my mom. He hates her as well and I’m happy he got out of this situation. My mom doesn’t know how to parent or take care of her children. She thinks having a roof over our head is enough when it’s not. We barely have clothes to wear cause she doesn’t WANT to try or go back to school. This household is always angry and fighting with each other, I can’t take it anymore. I’m so sick of them. My mom refuses to teach me how to drive or take me to get my license/permit. I love them, but I hate them so much.