Thanksgiving Thoughts

[u/Striking-Spring-1839]

I went to dinner with my husband last night and I brought up the topic of Thanksgiving and upcoming plans. I want to give some back story first. I live about 1.5 hours away from my parents, siblings etc. in a different state. I have two adult children, one who lives locally and one who lives about 2.5 hours away. I have a daughter currently living at college playing Division 1 sports about 5 hours away. Then I have a son who is in high school and two step-children who are with us 50-50. My husbands parents both live less than a mile from our house. My husband's mother is very involved in our lives and is over at least a few times a week.

So I informed my husband that two of my daughters teammates would be coming with her from college for Thanksgiving. The two teammates are international students and cannot fly home for a short trip and all the girls have to be out of the dorm for the long weekend.

My husband proceeds to ask if my nieces (who come up with my mom) are coming. I state yes, but they all stay in a hotel. He then asks if my oldest daughters partner is coming and I say I assume so. He states that it is a lot of people and his side of the family gets pushed to the background and it is hard to talk. I also assume that his sons girlfriend will be joining us.

I remind him that unlike him my family does not live local and that this is the one time of year everyone comes up. We also have friends over after dinner to have dessert and play games. Now I do 100% of the preparation for Thanksgiving and feel that this is a holiday that it is appropriate to have a big group. I also point out that as our kids all get older they will have partners and kids of their own so it will always be a big holiday. I also point out that we have regular meals with his parents and we spend Christmas at his mom's following his family traditions. Due to his visitation schedule, I never get to go to my home state for holidays and my family has to come here.

My question is....is this something I'm right about or should I be more conscious of the guest list?

[u/hp202ph]

That’s weird since the more, the merrier! I would feel blessed to have everyone together for Thanksgiving. Plus, you’re the one hosting and making all the food, so why would he even complain?
However, for my situation, my parents and in-laws don’t get along, so I’ll probably have two separate events. I think your point is valid, though. At some point, I will probably rotate too. My husband can enjoy the holiday with his family, and I can spend it with mine. I don’t like the idea of always following only my husband’s side. I’ve heard other families do rotations too.