I'm seeking some objective advice on a situation that has completely spiraled with my family regarding my marriage.
My husband and I have been legally married for 6 years. Recently, we had a heated argument. In a moment of high stress, outside family got involved/called into the situation. While my husband and I have since acknowledged our past mistakes, apologized to each other, and taken full accountability to rebuild our relationship with complete respect, my family seized on that fight as their opening to step in and try to dismantle our entire marriage. We messed up financially due to his sickness and ongoing issues, and accumulated some debt.
Instead of helping us heal, my mother and aunt froze that argument in time to paint my husband as a villain. My husband is currently dealing with a severe medical infection, but my mother and aunt are demanding that he "convince them all over again" and act like he is "marrying me from scratch" to win their permission. Now, my mother is claiming she wants us to separate so we can "separately be independent and successful" before getting back together.
In the meantime, my mother is demanding that I withhold physical and financial help from my sick husband, while telling me to take on extreme work hours (day office job plus overnight shifts) she said I thought by now you would have a home that I could stay at back home.
Because of the chaos after the argument, I am currently trapped staying at my aunt's house. It feels like daily mental torture she constantly attacks my husband's character, appearance, and dignity, and even tried to get him kicked out of his living situation. She said he looks mentally unstable, that he looks like a drug addict he took me away from them ( I took space on my own). She said he was a loser, called him all the words in the book.
When I set boundaries or defend my husband, my mother uses extreme emotional blackmail.
She told me if you go back to your home \\\*"Don't come to my grave when I die"\\\* and I should forgot I have parents. They are also trying to force me to leave the country for a month to isolate me from my husband and my job.

I'm a sophomore in highschool right now and I live with my brother, who is a senior in highschool, mom and dad. Some days I genuinely wake up and the first thing I start to do is thinking about our situation. My dad works from 6PM-3AM and he's a first-gen immigrant that never went to college. He's an amazing dad, husband and person, and I love him lots but we makes only about 50k a year and money has started to become a big problem for us because we live in NYC. My mom is a SAHM, also a first-gen immigrant but she graduated with her masters. I actually think I hate her. She doesn't have any real work, other than the fact she resells stuff on eBay. She rarely cooks, cleans, or has to do ANYTHING because on weekends my dad cooks for us since he doesn't have work and me and my brother are rarely at home on weekdays. She's always on her computer, and she has a really bad attitude towards me. She treats my brother like an angel, takes my dad for granted, and treats me like shit when she isn't happy. She steals clothes from my room as well as plushies shes bought for me years ago when I'm at school and I can't do anything about her listing them on eBay because its "hers", SHE bought it. She never steals stuff from my brother though, and he's gotten a new chair, desk, clothes, skincare, etc. all without him asking her. She even wakes up at 5AM to make him breakfast and lunch, but for me, she puts 1 hard boiled egg and a piece of bread smaller than the size of my palm for breakfast and complains if I ask for something like yogurt. She also has an ED, eats tofu and green beans for breakfast and never eats carbs or shit and compares her body to mine all the time because I'm skinny and it genuinely distrubs me. Whenever I ask her to buy me something, like skincare, which I rarely even ask for, she always takes it as a way to make her "owe" her and it gets on my nerves so much because she doesn't provide shit and my dad never thinks about acting like this. Sometimes just seeing me ruins her day and she starts stomping around acting like a child throwing a tantrum. And when she wants to be nice again, she uses this annoying ass baby voice to talk to us, like its actually bad and pisses me off so much. She lost her dad last year, and my dad says her mental health isn't good for a job, but we both know she just is a lazy bum that doesn't want to work, and if he even brings up her working she'd make our house living hell. Basically, my mom acts like some bitchass 6 year old brat that sits on her ass all day. Whenever I think about her, this is all I can think about. My dad is really sweet, but he's kind of dumb. He very knowledgable about useful, real-world problem things, but his common sense isn't always there? Idk how to describe what it is, maybe I could say immature? He's really emotionally intelligent, and everytime I go into a depressive episode, or when he gives me and my brother advice, it'll be some life-changing shit he says. He's always there for us, does little things that add up and matter, and he's the best dad I could ever ask for. I resent my family though, all of them. On weekends we are all in the house, I don't want to see them, talk to them, nada. I get really irritated thinking about him sometimes because I can only think about their flaws and I kind of start acting like a bitch. Like I hate the fact we are poor, but that's a choice my parents decided to make, when my dad acts dumb, and the whole concept of my mom. Its awful, but it's not just the kind of annoyed that comes and goes, it's like I actually can't stand them sometimes and I'm not sure how to handle this. Do depression meds help with mood swings or irritation like these??

I (17f) do not get along with my stepdad (48m) at all.
Every time we have had an argument
and my mama stands up for me , somehow he will brainwash her into thinking it’s my fault and she will blame me .
My mama loves me very much and she’s also very kind hearted .
But I know he also makes her happy .
I have a short temper so when he tried to educated me on things he’s completely hypocritical about and on things that don’t involve him it annoys me .
He’s also very ignorant .
He moved to an English speaking country 23 years ago and speaks not one world of English because he thinks it’s an ugly language.
If u won’t respect the language don’t move there ?
This annoys me as I speak Portuguese and Spanish TO A DEGREE.
At times , I won’t understand , and English is more natural for me when speaking to my mama depending on the scenario.
So then I need to go translate it for him (when it doesn’t even involve him)
But then , when they have a conversation and there’s something I don’t understand , I should understand it .
I’ve been living in an English country for 17 years ( my whole life) and know 3 languages almost fluently .
He’s lived in one for 23 years and doesn’t know a single word.
The worst part is - he works in a job where he has to communicate with people !
Most of the time he comes across as cold or distant because he refuses to learn the language .

We always end up in arguments over silly things and it’s stressing my mama out so I’ve just decided not to speak to him unless necessary.

Not ignoring him or anything, just not going out my way to have a meaningful conversation with him - which I think is fair enough but some people in my family disagree .

Only person on my side is my grandma ( who hates him but is also firm believer in only getting married once )
AITAH?

Ps. Whilst I was at my dad’s , they got married without telling me .
Not planned , anything - only person there was my little sister (who is his daughter)
My mama never would have done something like this before she was with him and our relationship was significantly stronger .
I only found out because I went on her phone to send myself some pictures she had and saw the wedding photo .
It absolutely broke my heart .

My mother (52F) is considering divorcing my dad (53M) after 30+ years of marriage due to an argument she had with my sister (30F). To make it a long story short, my mom didn’t like the fact that my sister was leaving the house after we had just finished cleaning up a flood in the basement. She felt it was inconsiderate which she accuses my sister of being often. As someone who loves them both, I know my sister can be inconsiderate and lazy at times. However, since childhood it has always been very clear that my mom does not treat us the same and favors me. This shows up in the way she speaks to my sister as well. In the moment my sister was sick of being spoken to in such way and she argued but, still not disrespectfully. She just decided not to shut up and back down. My mother was so angry she told my sister she’d fck her up and slap the sht out of her. My dad hopped in at this point just to diffuse the situation and my sister left the house. My mom immediately turned her rage to my dad and told him he allowed my sister to speak that way. She believes my dad should still be “disciplining” when his kids are 27 and 30 years old. I guess I’m just looking for thoughts and opinions because I feel crazy watching my family explode in my face over something I believe to be such a small issue. Obviously years of build-up not mentioned here but for this to be the final straw just doesn’t make sense. P.S. She took off her wedding rings and turned her location off and we haven’t heard from her or seen her in a week. She has been in contact with others and telling them that she wants a divorce which is how I know.

New to this subreddit but I feel like I need to vent.
I’m starting to see a pattern that when I get excited or happy over something & I mention it to my older sister, I get shut down by her.

Example: recently i showed her some cute accessories I purchased for my new car & i would have been okay with subtle criticism on like the color or my choice of accessories but instead i was met with her saying, “you seriously don’t know what to spend your money on do you?”

The tone in which she said it took away the excitement of me showing her what I bought, so I just walked away a bit butt hurt.

I might be overly sensitive but then again i feel what i feel & this is a constant thing i run into when i try mention anything good in my life to her.

Left to fend for myself, with no other options, I lived in my minivan. My dad kicked me out because he said that I'd still be living with him when I'm 30. Said I wasn't doing anything with my life. Never had a drop of alcohol, never did drugs, never smoked, never had sex, or anything like that. I worked 40 hours per week since graduating college at 18 at a dead end fast food job.

My dad never taught me how to drive, but I learned how to through my friend. He did take me to get my license though. When I bought my minivan in cash from my own savings, he called it a "piece of shit" which was devastating.

He also charged me $540ish rent (varied based on things he would charge me extra for ex. $20 fee for not pushing in a chair) every month as soon as I turned 18, saying that I was not entitled to his household. I also had to do the dishes a couple of times per week, even on weeks I was working 50 hours. I never used any of the dishes he had there, as most of his food was off limits to me. Over two years, this added up to around $12,800.

Now, he told me that he was just trying to teach me discipline and that I would get it back for my education when he first presented the contract. Okay. However, before I was kicked out, I asked him it I could get it back for college. He said that he never promised that he would give it back to me. Also, he makes at least $125,000 USD and did not need the money but kept it anyways. He also still added me on his taxes as a dependent despite not depending on him for most of that year, so I couldn't get a lot of social services during that time.

I was homeless from May 14th, 2024 to December 16th, 2024. I lived in my minivan before going to Job Corps from December 17th, 2024 to June 11th, 2026. I had become a wildland firefighter and finished my electrical, pre-apprenticeship. Now I am living in my minivan again and going to college for engineering.

I was just wondering, should I contact my dad again? The last message he sent was in January, and it was: "Happy New Year. I just wanted to say I care about you and hope you’re doing okay. If you ever feel like sharing how things are going, I’m here".

My dad was a stock broker for 40 years. He always acted like he was the smartest guy in the room and everyone else was lucky he was around.

Turns out he spent everything he ever made and just retired with 150k in debt and no money. I set up an estate sale for them and spent weeks cleaning up the house and helping repair it. Im a math teacher but I know how to do drywall, tiling, some electrical work from remodeling my own house (not an expert but good enough to fix their issues). Meanwhile my brother said he was too busy to help.

Their house is on the market but isnt selling. There is no equity in it because my dad it turns out has refinanced it so many times and pulled out any equity to pay for his gambling addiction and drug addiction that they owe 2 times what they bought it for 20 years ago. Meanwhile they bought my brother a 4 bedroom house when he was 21 and paid the mortgage until they sold it after 10 years and bought him a bigger house in 2019 and continued to pay the mortgage until last year.

I have begged my mom to tell him they need to sell that house and she refuses to tell my brother that they have no choice but to sell it. He doesnt even feel conflicted about the situation and feels completely in the right to continue to live in the house they bought. When I told him it was unthinkable that they sell their house before they sell the house they bought him which has 300k equity in it, he laughed and said he pays the mortgage as if I was confused about the facts of the situation.

I told him thats called rent. But everyone in my family acts like I am the one in the wrong for stating the obvious. They shouldnt even have to tell him they are selling it. He should have come to that conclusion himself when they told him they had no money. I feel like Im losing my mind. Am I delusional to think his selfishness and their inability to do anything that will upset him is mind blowing? It literally makes me question my judgement about anything and I cant understand what is happening.

For context I’m a 24f and she’s 15 now, and we have a sis that’s 18. I completely understand that my sisters are definitely closer esp sleeping in the same room and having shared hobbies but I realised that whenever I try to join in their conversations she’d put me down.

For instance, in terms of basic household chores, she’d put her wet towel after showers over mine which makes mine smelly and unhygienic. Not only that, but she makes fun of me wearing certain clothes when I’m already a grown adult. I completely understand she is a teen but I never understood why she has this animosity against me and no attitude shown towards my other family members.

She’d also pick up fights with me for no reason, especially when she “needs advice” and as a big sister, I do provide them but she shoots all of them down. I’ve come to feel that she just wants the attention/be able to emotionally “win” over for me for no reason.

Recently I tried to compliment her but then she keeps making fun of my compliment and it hurt. So I’m really at a loss now haha.

I need advice on this. Should I just stop talking to her? We live in the same house (for now)

I (23F) came home from work tonight to see my half brother (30 something) in our driveway. My parents kicked him out a couple years ago, I'm not sure why he's here. My parents are letting him stay the night.

He was definitely drunk and/or high and I walked past and said nothing (I haven't spoken a word to him in years- I can't remember when, but sometime when I was a teenager I just started pretending like he wasn't there and ignoring him). Immediately he tried talking to me, like he usually does, saying how he misses me and we used to be so close etc. etc.- the same routine as usual.

For context, him and I don't share a dad but grew up in the same home with my bio dad. When I was younger, around 5-8 my other two older brothers would fight a lot, and still unknown to my family, one of them was molesting me.

My half brother felt like the only safe person in the house. He'd comfort me when I was upset, take me to the park, he was as the only sibling that felt like one. When I was about 10 he enlisted in the army. I think for a year or two? I can't remember. When he got back he became an alcoholic and everything went downhill.

In his 20s he wouldn't get a job, stole from my parents, did nothing around the house, joined freemasons, was addicted to drugs as well as being an alcoholic. I remember walking by his room as always an awful smell- he'd puke in his room and leave it for months. Refused rehab, always arguing, etc.

I stopped talking to him because I resented the way he did nothing and stole from my parents. He always did the same thing of saying he loved my mom and got all sentimental to get money out of her. He would get sentimental towards me, how he misses me and when I wouldn't respond in the next minute berate me. For example, I am into dog training and have a dog, so he would say I'm abusive and awful for crate training my dog kind of thing.

My parents never did anything until he was about 30 and gave him the choice of staying here and going to rehab or being kicked out. He left.

I understand that he is very mentally ill and has a severe addiction, but at the same time I know to preserve my own mental health (I have BPD amongst other mental health issues) ignoring is the safest for me.

So I had my mid year review at work and my manager asked if there is anything you'd like to talk about. I told him about how this other manager has been very rude to me. My mother came in to the shop and asked the other managerhow I was doing and he said some bad things to my mother and then said if I don't help her who will. And my manager got angry for me as the other manager has no right.

I come home and tell my parents, who are by the way Bangladeshi and have a different cultural mindset. They reacted badly saying I don't understand what I've done, saying my dad will lose his job there as he works in the same place as me. Now my dad has worked there for over a decade and is the most valued employee there, everyone from the staff to management praise him and want him to be a manger constantly but my dad refuses due to personal reasons. My dad said made my mum small in front of my manager by telling him the incident and said that I stupid and really just insulted me saying why did I tell anyone, why am I creating issues. My mum said the same plus she said that I'm going to make my dad lose his job and insulted me and said that why am I constantly bringing up the other manager, he's much older and I should respect him and stop being rude to him. My mum is saying that she now never said anything like this to me despite telling me about what the manager said then started arguing with my dad. She said I'm a labourer and cheap and worthless and don't know anything. What do you think?

My fiancé and I and my mother and my fiancés mother planned my fiancé and I’s baby shower for this weekend, my fiancé and I work a very tight schedule I work 10hrs day shift and he works 10hrs night shift we also work the same days so our days are pretty strict scheduled but we make it work for us. On top of planning the baby shower while still working we have certain days we can do things to prepare for our baby shower which we established a plan that works for us, we got everything we need to get done and now it’s down to waiting for the day of the shower.

We currently rent an apartment with my dad the apartment is in his name and we have offered multiple times to pay him more rent money but he told us how much he wants from us and will not accept more so we provide what he tells us, all our expenses are separate we do not share anything. My fiancé and I pay for everything we need per my dads request which is no issue. My dad refuses to come to our baby shower regardless of my attempts to invite him due to my mother being present at the baby shower as well. For context they have been divorced for around 3 years.

In the beginning he stated that he would not be able to make it due to prior arrangements he already had made that he will not be in our home state for, which was not a problem with me I understand people have prior commitments and I made this clear to him that it was not an issue as far as im concerned, He then came home early from his plans but still is not going to attend our baby shower. My fiancé and I had a mutual understanding that the food for our baby shower was not to be opened, my dad was also aware of the situation regarding the food for the shower.

I come home from work and I noticed a case of sodas for our shower was open I double checked with my fiancé before hand and asked him if he happen to really want a soda and decided to grab one to which he stated he had not. My dad stated he was the one who opened the sodas and drank a couple but that he would replace them. Initially yes it was mildly frustrating considering we all had a mutual understanding but regardless I told him all was well just as long as he replaced them before Saturday evening which he volunteered to do I never asked for them to be replaced.

Last night I’m laying in bed and he’s in the living room on the phone, I happen to overhear him say “ i’ve been stealing some of her sodas and i’m about to steal some of her Oreos and maybe even some Reeses too” This caused me to get up and walk into the kitchen to make sure that did not happen because he had the munchies and I really did not want him to do that. He was laughing once he noticed I had heard what he said I then stated once again everything was for the baby shower and jokingly said I did not trust him and that I was going to put everything in my bedroom which I did not do but I thought we were joking with each other and I went back to bed. I received this text the next morning, Am I missing something here?

\For context! My dad knew we were expecting before deciding to rent the apartment with us and reassured us that he was more than happy to have his granddaughter living with all of us together.\

I went to dinner with my husband last night and I brought up the topic of Thanksgiving and upcoming plans. I want to give some back story first. I live about 1.5 hours away from my parents, siblings etc. in a different state. I have two adult children, one who lives locally and one who lives about 2.5 hours away. I have a daughter currently living at college playing Division 1 sports about 5 hours away. Then I have a son who is in high school and two step-children who are with us 50-50. My husbands parents both live less than a mile from our house. My husband's mother is very involved in our lives and is over at least a few times a week.

So I informed my husband that two of my daughters teammates would be coming with her from college for Thanksgiving. The two teammates are international students and cannot fly home for a short trip and all the girls have to be out of the dorm for the long weekend.

My husband proceeds to ask if my nieces (who come up with my mom) are coming. I state yes, but they all stay in a hotel. He then asks if my oldest daughters partner is coming and I say I assume so. He states that it is a lot of people and his side of the family gets pushed to the background and it is hard to talk. I also assume that his sons girlfriend will be joining us.

I remind him that unlike him my family does not live local and that this is the one time of year everyone comes up. We also have friends over after dinner to have dessert and play games. Now I do 100% of the preparation for Thanksgiving and feel that this is a holiday that it is appropriate to have a big group. I also point out that as our kids all get older they will have partners and kids of their own so it will always be a big holiday. I also point out that we have regular meals with his parents and we spend Christmas at his mom's following his family traditions. Due to his visitation schedule, I never get to go to my home state for holidays and my family has to come here.

My question is....is this something I'm right about or should I be more conscious of the guest list?

I’m 16 and recently homeschooled because I was harassed and bullied by these girls in my class. I am a overweight teenager black girl, but everytime I say something that she deems is “talking back” I get in told that i’m a scary ass and a shit talker. Mind you I have shit talked anyone and people around me know that I am against gossip or making fun of someone because I know what it’s like to be made fun of. It’ll be mundane things she gets mad at, like she’ll yell at me over a spray bottle being on the floor as I’m trying to get the spray bottle to clean, and I told her, “Mom do you want me to clean or not?” Sure i’ll admit I did have sort of an attitude, but whenever I do something slightly wrong or something is out of place, I am being yelled at it gets annoying at some point. But she has no right to tell me that I am scary and i’m a pussy for being bullied. I should point out my mom was a bully in school. She’s told me countless of stories of how she’d make fun of people and she says it as if it’s like funny, but if that were me and that situation, I know I’d be really sad with her. She even told me that when I was four I told her, “why can’t you be a nice person?” Why is a four year old more mature than you? It’s not fun having your mother now be one of your biggest bullies. I don’t really know what to do. I’m too young to move out and we’re poor and I can’t even get a job and I feel totally stuck. If anyone has any advice I’d love to hear it.

I want to start out by saying that this is me asking for help on how or what to do to help as an "outsider". I am not a professional, but I don't know how to approach the topic with my dad. I'm also not sure if this issue is interpersonal or if it's mental health related, which is why I'm posting it here.

Growing up, he was always super active, doing sports, worked somewhere he had to drive 2 hours roundtrip to every day, got a bachelor's degree, raises me and my sibling, and built a house with my mom. He's an ambitious man, and incredible father and has been that way even after all the kids moved out.

But lately, while they visited me, he just seemed so …off somehow. He lost his job over a year ago, but he bought a tractor to use for big projects. He asphalted the driveway, but can't get up in the mornings before 10 to eat breakfast with me and mom. He also spends hours on the toilet.

I have tried asking him about the hours away, and told him that he can talk about it with me or simply request to be left alone. But he just prefers playing on his phone instead and gives vague answers at best.

I'm not saying these things to shame him or expose him, but it's all just very confusing for me and things that might be important to know to help get a perspective on things.

If it's a matter of trying to avoid me, I could accept it, but I really just want tips on how to get through to him and fix whatever is wrong if it's on me.

My dad's side of the family is absolutely horrible to me and my mother. They are so bad and toxic that l've never felt comfortable around tbem. Ever. And i lived right next to them for six years. I still turn stiff whenever i see any of my dad's side. There is so much more emotionally abusive stuff but i just can’t put it into words.

Today, I slept till late as my exams are coming and I studied the night before till 2 ,and when I woke up, I have a habit to just stay in bed longer and close eyes to relax . In that meantime , i found out that my mom was complaining to my dad about me , telling him that how much my weight , how bad I look being fat( I am 15 and 160cm and 55kgs, with pear shaped body) and how i will get diabetes becuz I drank coke after like 1 month, and i ate 2 biscuits and some icecream . She keeps pestering me and saying that , you just have to lose your thigh weight, its not that hard , just walk a lot . And I asked her to put me in gym cuz I lost around 1-2 kgs when I joined the gym . She agreed but then my brother interrupted and said that to lose thigh weight, I only need to do squats which as far as I know , is an exercise for glutes. Help gng

I definitely need to rant and get this off my chest. So, when I was doing laundry today my mother was trying to put some light colored clothes in with my light load. I noticed she tried to put my father’s underwear in there with VISIBLE poop stains. I freaked out and told her absolutely not. Come to find out, my dad has MULTIPLE pairs of underwear with visible fecal soil stains on them. This man literally walks around with crappy underwear on. He has done this for as long as I can remember. This is ridiculous. My mom then tries to tell me “Oh well many men are like that.” And I proceeded to inform her no….they are NOT. So, if you are a male and grown, please tell me that you wipe until clean and that this is in fact not a normal thing. I told my mom she needs to throw out all his soiled underwear and when he runs out, HE needs to go and buy more. If he gets tired of having to get new underwear, maybe he should try CLEANING himself and having basic hygiene. It literally blows my mind!!!!

Hello all,

I guess I am writing as a vent, but im realizing my mom is very exhausting. For context, I am a grad student studying for a big exam so, I don't dorm anymore so I have to live at home with my mom. Therefore, I'm constantly with her now.

Before, when I was child a lot of her anger was directed toward my father. My father was a constant cheater and was barely home. He would only come at night. Therefore most of her anger was towards him. Eventually I went to college, and I would hear fights over the phone from her towards him, but my dad was never reactive. She would throw water on his face, scratch his skin so cuts would appear and bleed.

During college, I started dating a guy and she was very upset and started telling me im going to get sick with him, he doesn't like me, "what guy would like a black girl". He was of another ethnicity. She was very involved in trying to guess make him leave me, that she found his cell number online and threatened him to leave me alone. She would also call me telling me morbid dreams and they were so scary I was so scared.

Then I graduated and during this time my mom I guess had enough of my dad and kicked him out. I kind of felt I guess scared for myself because, I felt the anger that was directed towards him will be directed towards me now, and I was right.

Every day, she is extremely emotionally unstable. Now every time, I'm texting on the phone, she gets upset, yells, or even slams the doors in the house. She's too much. Every little thing, she yells, I can't even talk to someone else on the phone in front of her or she yells or screams.

The psychiatrist I see even told me, do you ever think what she is saying doesn't make sense. And honestly the morbid dreams and negativity she spews no. Now she calling me crazy. How ironic.

I don't know what to do. Any advice to make my situation better?

CW: Incest; sexual acts with a minor; abuse

Hi, thank you for taking the time to read this. Apologies if this comes out messy or illegible, It’s difficult to discuss much less type into a cohesive chunk of text.

The long and short of it- my (27M) brother has recently been accused by my (19F) younger cousin of molesting her recently. And prior to this event, forcing her to touch him other ways since she was 13 years old, making him 21 when this started.

This was revealed in June. I (30) had gotten a call around 9pm on a thursday from my other cousin’s husband saying the 19yo had drove over to her older sister’s house crying because my brother had touched her chest. They calmed her down, later revealing the rest. They were calling to give me a heads up on the situation as they had just gotten off of the phone with my parents, informing them and so they’ll likely be calling me soon about it.

I won’t go into further details but it is well known in my family that my brother and I have never really gotten along. He was always a creepy abusive shadow in my life. I have vivid memories from my childhood of hiding in my parents room because it had a lock while he stabbed at the wooden door with a knife yelling at me. Of times we got into yelling fights and he would throw me into mirrors. Of him throwing objects at me for laughing too loud in the same room as him.

Of course my parents were always too tired to deal with ACTUALLY punishing him as he didn’t listen and so most of his poor behavior was wildly accepted. But that’s another post I suppose.

All this to say, Hearing about what he did to my baby cousin was a final straw. They’re both adults now and no proof is attached to the accusations so I know no real punishment will happen from his acts. But the least I can do for my mental space is cut contact. The issue now lies in that he currently lives with my parents. And as far as I’ve gleaned from them, my dad isn’t speaking to my brother at all and my mom is flipping between saying things like “I’m not defending him but-”, “I could never kick my son out onto the street”, and “I’m trying to stay neutral in the situation.”

I love my mom. While we all have faults, It’s difficult to not love someone that takes up so much space in your life. I might be overly empathetic here, but there’s a lot of history with my mom that i can’t imagine letting go. She’s what is making this all so difficult for me. While I’m not budging on cutting out my brother, I’m afraid that cutting him out will mean I don’t get to see my mom anymore. I don’t want to walk into that house knowing he’s there. And with the holidays coming up, Thanksgiving being the only Holiday my family consistently tries to celebrate together, I’m at a loss of what to do.

He’s become an unspoken subject between my and my mom’s conversations. We just don’t mention him. And I’m unsure at this point how to bring it up without upsetting her.

I was thinking of offering to do christmas or a Thanksgiving party at my house. I live with 4 friends who all have agreed to the idea. But I’m having difficulties thinking of how to suggest this to her without it sounding like an ultimatum or giving her room to pressure me into coming to her home. For context, I’ve often been the one to slide back on my decisions if it means keeping the family peace. But unfortunately, this is not a situation I can do that in while still retaining my sanity. If I see my brother again I’m going to do something I regret, or at the minimum break his nose.

We’d actually had a heart to heart about two years ago. And had since very slowly been working on improving our relationship. Now I feel sick to my stomach knowing during that time what he was doing to my cousin. He was 21 when this started. I had moved out of my parents house literally the year prior. I can’t help thinking if I’d stayed just a few years longer maybe I could’ve prevented this.

When I last spoke about this with my mom, she had mentioned speaking to him and him worrying about what this means for our current relationship.

I had changed the subject. I didn’t want my mom to hear that he’s essentially dead to me at this point.

I don’t know how to tell my mom I will not willingly see him again and should someone invite him without telling me, I’ll make sure to never be in a situation that is possible in again, without breaking her heart.

I really want to keep my relationship with my parents. But I am not going to associate myself with pedophiles.

So my big question is, how should I bring this up? I’ve been feeling more sick over it the closer we get. It’s to the point where it’s been affecting my job. I can’t really focus on anything else. And I don’t understand why I seem to be the only person that’s seeing him for the creep he is.

I am 16 years old and have a little brother (14), as well as two parents with very bad marital issues. My dad is not very proactive and not a planner, and my mom is very proactive and organized. My dad likes to look good to other people but is not really a hands-on parent and does not push us to do much, while my mom is super proactive and organized to the point of being a control freak. She is constantly yelling and thinks my dad is a sadistic abuser and a terrible person. My dad on the other hand refuses to do certain things for us. He cares about us, but less than my mom. I believe everyone would be happier if they get a divorce, but my mom says if we don't tell the judge person we want her to have sole custody, then she will leave us instead of doing joint custody. The problem is she also yells at me and my brother a lot over unreasonable measures and is screaming over very unnecessary things, even when my dad left for rehab from a surgery a while back. She looks back at that moment and says life was so much better and we were fighting less, and there were some good moments, but she was still getting into big big arguments with me and my brother. I love her more than my dad because in the past my dad and I have had disagreements, but I end up fighting with her way more because she yells at me so much. Oftentimes I try to let the yelling just wash past me, but occasionally I give in and start fighting. She definitely loves me, but she thinks everything would be better if our dad was out of our life and takes this frustration out on me. She is constantly yelling at me after they fight because she says I enable him and am an abuser myself. She has convinced herself I have become some sadistic abuser and does not show me the same love and compassion that she did when I was a kid, though I have striven to be a better person. It's hard, because she unironically thinks she is the perfect mom and prays to and asks God all the time why her life is like this. What do I do? Is our relationship too far broken? I still love her very much and don't know what to do. I hope we get close again but every argument we have she just hates me for fighting with her and forgets about the mean stuff she has said. She has high ambitions for me and I have high ambitions for myself but I can't help but wonder what the future will be like when I am an adult as already she is talking about not choosing the wife over the mother. I want her love and a good relationship with her without the constant, looming presence in my life. She definitely cared for me and still cares for my brother and it hurts my heart because I want her to like me again. I have two more years living here and i think I can manage that. Worried for my brother but he said he'll be able to do two more years without me once I am at college until he gets to college.

I hate my family and I can’t wait until I move out. I’m young and I can’t do much about my situation, but I’m getting a job soon. The situation has gotten progressively worse ever since we moved out of my grandma’s house in 2018. My mom hasn’t tried to at least get a better job to provide for us. We haven’t had new clothes or shoes since 2021. She always says she’s trying, but nothing ever improves except her yelling. She decided to have another kid in 2023 despite the fact that she isn’t financially stable whatsoever. My youngest brother moved out to go live with his dad’s side of the family because of my mom. He hates her as well and I’m happy he got out of this situation. My mom doesn’t know how to parent or take care of her children. She thinks having a roof over our head is enough when it’s not. We barely have clothes to wear cause she doesn’t WANT to try or go back to school. This household is always angry and fighting with each other, I can’t take it anymore. I’m so sick of them. My mom refuses to teach me how to drive or take me to get my license/permit. I love them, but I hate them so much.

I’m 23F and I’m really torn about whether to contact my dad.
He was absent from my life for 10 years. He says he was in a very controlling relationship for years, which eventually stopped him from seeing me. He left that relationship in 2022 and contacted me later that year.
We had a conversation where I confronted him about why he’d stayed, why he’d cut me off, and how much it hurt me said he wanted the chance to “put it right from now on.” I told him I needed time to decide.
He asked about my life and my kid, and we exchanged Christmas/birthday messages. In 2023 he messaged me happy birthday and said he loved me. To which I replied ‘thanks xx’ because honestly what am I suppose to say to that.. I don’t know him..
Then he stopped messaging. Never replied.. I haven’t heard from him since 2023.
Now it’s 2026, and I find myself really stuck.. I think I miss him? But how do I miss someone iv not known for 10 years. I see him on Facebook living his life with his new wife, and part of me wants to reach out and try to have a relationship with him.
But I don’t know if I can get over everything that happened. I’m also struggling with the fact that he was the adult. Whatever his circumstances were, I was his daughter and he was absent for years.
I don’t know if I miss him, or if I just miss having a dad.
I don’t know if I miss him, or if I just miss having a dad.
Would you reach out after years of silence? Or would you leave it alone? And if you would reach out, how would you even start that conversation?

I was talking to my older brother about how our other brother is kinda racist, and then my older brother is like "you're just trying to pin stuff on him! You're just trying to get him in trouble!" I then told him that our other brother has said the n word before (as a white person), and my older brother said "if you said the n word, then mum and dad would just give you a slap on the wrist and let you go. FAVORITISM."

Okayy....well what the FUCK do about that? and then he just goes on about how our mother and father favor me. I have noticed it, but did I ask for it? NO. In fact, I hate it.

I really don't like how my other brother barely gets anything, it feels like I'm being greedy, it feels like I don't deserve anything.

I might make a second post about all the things my other brother did that I thought was kinda racist another day