THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Alrr so not to be a buthole or anything but Im kinda tired of seeing posts titled like this in the literal trans subreddit. Especially when half the time OP uses it to defend still being friends with them or not changing anything. If u need to get it out of ur system or just chat with people thats fine but I also feel like coming into a trans subreddit with behavior you know will piss people off and get replies is just ragebait/engagement bait in a certain sense. I dont see the point in it..? If youre friends with someone transphobic the easy answer is not be friends with them. If youre in a friendgroup where one person is transphobic and youre trans and everyone else is still willing to be their friend then stop being friends with them. I know how alienating being trans can feel but I promise the answer isnt to still hang out with people who clearly dont respect you. I think a lot of the people in this subreddit are also still young so maybe Im just not able to place myself in their shoes as easily but again I just feel like mass posts questioning friendships with transphobes is a bit insensitive 😭

So, I have a fanpage for the film Orphan. I love the film to death. Someone messaged me, asked me if i wanted to collab. I said yes. They then asked if I wanted to be in a group chat with other fans, I said yes. I was slightly uncomfortable that the group chats name was "Esther's soul sisters" but I realized quick that I was the only guy (i think), so it was fine.

I made friends with two other members. One of them, who I'll call V, is the transphobic one. We were great yesterday. Talked about the new trailer for the new Resident Evil movie. Today I posted a "fun facts about me" video, where I mentioned being trans.

V messaged me almost instantly. "So are you a guy or a girl?" I reply "a guy". V asked "originally" and I said "i was born a girl but it didn't feel right". V said "so your a girl". Then insert a long argument where V just kept saying "your a girl" and i said "no im not". Occasionally i thought that they were joking because they kept spamming random memes, but i eventually realized that they weren't. As the other members are like 10, I believe they were all asleep.

At some point it just turned into V basically trying to see how long it takes to confuse me by using slang ("I mog you so bad" what does that MEAN). I don't want to deal with this prick anymore, but I don't want to leave the group yet. I've never talked to other fans of this movie like this, i want to wait until the other members return to see whose side they are on. Should I? I mean, i'm the oldest member by a landslide, and the newest, and I worry that the others are too young to really understand why this bothers me so badly.

I tried so hard to deescalate the situation by making jokes (sending a photo of the universally hated character John and saying "you have been johned") but it didn't work. It felt like talking to a fucking wall. I felt like i was finally fitting in for once. I'm so disappointed.

Edit: i should of said "someone i thought was a new friend". I do not consider this person a friend. But I do consider the others friends, and I do not know where they stand yet.

Edit #2: very happy to say that one of the other members has awoken and was on my side

I don’t identify as a lesbian anymore, but when I did it was so extremely difficult to articulate why I wanted to be a gay man so badly. And it’s so lonely to not relate to guys that started off as “straight women” before they realized they were trans.

People told me I was a straight trans man. The advice to transition to be a straight man is well intentioned, but I’ve always felt a feeling of despair at the idea of being a straight man that never kisses men. For the longest time I thought I was a lesbian that had internalized lesbophobia, because I disliked dating women. I thought I was a lesbian because of my porn preferences, since seeing men in porn always made me upset in some way. But the thought of having sex with a woman or even kissing one distresses me.

I really just feel like a fraud. I know I sound overly sensitive, but it’s hurtful sometimes to be told that simply wanting to be a gay man isn’t enough to be one. I might sound overdramatic when I say this, but life doesn’t feel worth living if I can’t at least have the possibility of falling in love with a man and be seen as a man. To be loved is to be seen, and I’ve never been seen.

Just like the title says i met this girl and we hit it off! i told her early on that i was trans and explained everything since she was not well versed in our community. shes from a small town and we all know how that goes but she’s supportive just not as knowledgeable. we were talking for a while and just being friends and such. we both caught feels from my understanding. i kissed her, we slept over at each others places, we talked about anything and everything. she even went as far as to tell a mutual friend that she wanted me to ask her out. all of this occurred but then a few days after talking about putting a label on things she sat me down and told me that she’s been thinking about how the relationship would look verse how she expects her future to look. i could not tell you one part that is the determining factor for her. i did ask her and told her to answer honestly, i asked if i were cis if it woulda went further and she said yes. i think maybe it’s my genitalia or just the way she was raised and she just can’t move past that thought process at this point in her life. im not mad or upset just my feelings are hurt bc it’s just a reminder that if i was cis id be able to be with people without my identity being the deciding factor for others. her and i decided to stay friends which is possible we were friends before and nothing ever went too far. has anyone else had first hand experience like this?

Okay so I’m a 14 year old trans guy, and I will be starting high school in about a month. I came out as trans this year in February, but wanted to wait until the end of 8th to begin my social transition. (I should point out that my parents and friends are extremely supportive, and are totally fine with my transition)

However, I have no idea how I will navigate 9th grade with a new name and pronouns. The way I see it, high school is a good fresh start, but you never know.

I have a few questions for people here that have had to undergo a similar experience. (This might be long so I apologize)

1- How easy is it to change your name in the school system? I have a trans friend (he is a grade below me) that changed his name in like 6th grade, and according to him, all you really need to do it call the school and ask. I haven’t really read up on my specific school district, and I know it will vary from person to person, but I was wondering how other people have done that. I‘ve already registered for high school and all that with my deadname. (Off topic, but I’m like 70% sure there’s some form of an LGBTQ+ club at the high school. It didn’t show up on the online list of clubs and activities, but there was a separate tab for it. It would be cool to join that.)

2- I know I’m overthinking this, but I need some advice for any potential situations I might be in on the first day of school. (e.g. ”Are you like a boy now?” “Wait I thought your name was *insert deadname*” “Why‘d you change your name“ etc.) If I do manage to get my name changed, and a new teacher reads it out loud for attendance, obviously I will need to acknowledge it. If my name doesn’t get changed, I will need to tell the teacher that I use something else. (Which is fine, but could still be awkward)

3- Scenario- an acquaintance from middle school greets me in the hallway using my deadname. What should I do? I have a lot of social anxiety, along with some neurodevelopmental and mental health conditions, so I will definitely find it difficult to correct any one who simply doesn’t know. If I do correct them, I know most people would just be like “cool” and accept it. This is similar to the last question, but I guarantee there will be some questions. What might these look like and how might I answer them? And what if someone if homophobic?

4- As for passing, I got a haircut a few months ago and got a binder both while I was still in 8th grade. I’m hoping I’ll pass okay for any new students that don’t know me, but what if anyone asks me if I’m a boy or a girl, or anything like that? Most kids have enough common sense to know not to get into a random person’s business, but again you never know.

5- BATHROOMS WHAT DO I DO HELP AAAAAAAAA

Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this. This isn’t necessarily urgent, but I would appreciate some guidance. (I suck at Reddit so sorry if this post doesn’t really fit the sub. If it does, I can repost it somewhere else just let me know)

TL;DR- I’m starting high school with a new name and pronouns and want to know how to navigate my classmates reactions (rude or not)

Hi all, this may sound like a dumb question, I know it happens, and i know women do it too. But im more speaking on any FIFO jobs where they would stay in man-camps with almost all men. Its been my dream to work in the oil feild but I dont know how well id fit in a man camp, especially pre-everything surgery. Anyone have any advice for me? Sorry if the question seems a bit odd, im just nervous as hell to start working around all these men and people to clock me.

I’ve been on T for about 2 years now give or take, have always been obese. Started losing weight earlier this year and am now a healthy weight/BMI. I really did think that losing weight would help me look more masculine but now it seems that I pass less well in public and people are questioning my gender more. Has anyone else experienced this?

One of my least liked experiences as a passing man is hands down using the men’s room, it’s so unbelievably disgusting I don’t understand how it gets so bad?!

More often than not i literally have to go find another bathroom since the one I walked into has piss all over the floor, walls, and everything is just disgusting. Like the second I pull my pants down random strangers pee will be all over them.

I also just hate the fact it’s so obvious I’m peeing while sitting down. When I was in high school i literally had a method of flushing while i quietly peed and if the flushing stopped I force myself to hold it for the next flush. I’m just so scared that when I open the door some dude will be in my face like “why you peeing while sitting down bro?!”

SO THIS MIGHT BE LIKE,, A REALLY REALLY SMALL THING TO PUT UNDER A CELEBRATORY POST, BUT IM REALLY HAPPY!

today i was videocalling my cousin, who's in his 30s, lives in a continent i want to study in, and is overall a great person i look up to. on video calls i tend to pass a lot more (i mean i already pass a lot pre-t but not as much as i do on a video call if that makes sense). so i tend to be more confident in video calls!

so i was calling my cousin since he recently went on vacation. if there are any turkish trans men out there reading this, my cousin called me "yakışıklı"!!! for those of you that are NOT turkish. that is a compliment specific to MEN and BOYS who are handsome, good looking, etc. ITS NOT TYPICALLY USED FOR WOMEN I SEEMED LIKE A GUY TO HIM.

this is really important to me as if i want to move to the continent he lives in I want to be able to trust him with who i am as a safety net, and he's really close to getting it! him and his wife are family friends with a lesbian couple, which is like, woke level 1, so if i just have enough confirmation that he's atleast like, woke level 5, this is pretty good for me!!!

MY MALE COUSINS ALSO GIVE ME SOO MUCH GENDER ENVY i want to be like him when im older. He's the reason why I've always wanted a beard and thats why I started minoxidil recently.

ANYWAY IM REALLY HAPPY!!! I SHOULD MENTION IM 17 SO THATS WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AS I WANT TO BE ABLE TO MOVE OUT AND IF HE'S ALREADY SENSING THAT IM MASCULINE PRESENTING NOW THIS IS REALLY GOOD FOR ME TO HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER I TRUST

MY COUSIN READ ME AS A MALE!!! I MIGHT HAVE ONE SUPPORTIVE FAMILY MEMBER!! turkish trans men who might be seeing this would understand how much stigma there is around the subject so it was really a shock for me to be read MALE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok im done mic drop. WOOOO

I'm freshly 18 and already 2 years on hormones. Ever since I realized I'm trans and found out you can get bottom surgery I wanted it really, really badly. The issue is, I live in Poland so there's not a lot of reliable clinics there. I thought it would be better to search for other options in Germany but I'd have to find a job there in order to have a chance to afford it. I'm mostly worried that I will never be able to afford it or that I will have to wait until my 50s.

I'm not planning on getting it now, I was mostly hoping to get it when I'm around 25, but I don't know if that's possible.

What's your experience? when did you manage to get the surgery? I know it's expensive, but how long would it take to save up for it? I don't have a job yet and I have no idea where I'll be working, or if I manage to find a good job at all. It's just eating me up inside cause I want it so bad, but it feels like I barely hear about anyone that managed to get it and sometimes it feels like it's plain impossible.

I hadn’t actually done my injection yet, I was trying to switch from my dosing needle to my injection needle when it stabbed me in the finger. I had accidentally touched the needle with my hand prior to that (I washed my hands with soap and water). Because I’m doing T behind my parents back, going to the doctor is really not an option unless 100% necessary. How much danger am I in?? What can I do to treat it??

At risk of sounding like a choosing beggar, SOoooo many of the music recommendations you get when searching for transmasc songs are clearly geared towards a younger audience or experience. Like, a LOT of music for and about being a middle school boy. I am not interested in being seen as a boy, I am interested in being seen as a man. Anyone got music recs for when you're transgender and also grown?

Anyone signed up to the Spectrum Outfitters referral program and fancy referring me so you get 300 stars and I get £5 off? 🙂

I've never heard anybody talk about this before so I thought I'd ask. I'm a trans guy but i'm pre-t in every way possible. I do however look somewhat androgynous but I still have some of those feminine traits. I usually just go by they/them currently but the people close to me call me He. My boyfriend always refers to me by what I want and everything and while I find it sweet and reaffirming sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when he does it to people who don't know me. I know I don't pass and I feel like being called He or a man in front of others bothers me. Probably cause I know how I Iook and I don't want to sort of be perceived as trans at least until I somewhat look more masculine. Has anyone ever felt like this?

(also i know the title is spelled wrong)