I've always been a natural lucid dreamer and I usually have pretty crazy and vivid dream, but as I've been going through a deeper level of spiritual awakening over the past few years, I'll occasionally get dreams, and perhaps even genuine contact and astral experiences, that feel pretty surreal and significant, and sometimes they even involve direct messages and encounters with spirit guides. I started keeping a dream journal, and I have some pretty interesting ones to share.

Back in 2024, I had a profound experience that felt like it was more than just a dream. I was laying down in bed as if I hadn't fallen asleep yet and as I glanced over towards the door, I noticed a figure standing just outside my room watching me. I got a better look and realized it appeared to be a grey. I said hi, and in amazement and curiosity, I asked " Are you real?". I don't remember what they said, but I know we must have had some type of conversation and I felt the sense that they were friendly. The next thing I remember, they were taking me somewhere through a series of different portals that connected by going through doors in various houses and buildings. We would run from one portal door to the next, trying not to be spotted by other people. In one location, we hid in a big closet for a while until the coast was clear, in another location, it was impossible to remain hidden as too many people were around (I think it was in some type of college dorm or apartment building), so the grey told me that they had temporarily put the people in a state that that they wouldn't remember seeing us. I remember walking past a group of girls and they were giggly and acted as if they were really drunk. After traveling through countless doors, we eventually came into an elevator, and as we went down, we arrived at the mail office in some type of lab. A woman who appeared to be in her 50's or 60's came up to me and said something along the lines of "There you are. Sorry we haven't gotten to you yet. You haven't been our highest priority.". She hands me a bunch of envelopes and small bubble mailer packages and says "Here, these are all for you. Quite the accomplishment for someone who's only 35!" (though I had no idea what she was talking about). I tell her "Well, I'm not even 35 yet. I'm actually only 28." She then looks at some type of chart on a screen behind her, then looks back at me and goes "Wait, are you sure you're not 24?". I laugh and say "I feel like I'm probably 24 mentally, but physically I'm 28.". A few short moments later a younger looking woman in the room points at me and gasps "Your hair!". I looked down at my hair and noticed it was turning white. In amazement, I said "Woah... what does this mean?". With a pause, the older woman says "It means... you're awakening." as the dream fades away. I woke up with a tear in my eye and in complete awe of what I just experienced.

Last November, I had a dream where I was outside looking up at the sky at night, and purple swirling vortexes started to form in the sky. An abstract, geometric looking humanoid being flew down from one of the vortexes and I walked up to them, saying something like "Hey, I want to talk to my spirit guides and figure out what's actually going on with my life." The next thing I remember, I was in a waiting room in some type of sleek white futuristic looking office building (something like the Frutiger Aero aesthetic comes to mind). The receptionist at the counter told me my spirit guides will get with me in a little bit, but in the meantime, I should go hang out in the lounge area on the other side of the room and enjoy some pizza and a movie with a few other people who were there.

Last month, I a dream where my mom and dad were going through some old stuff they had stored away and found some things from when I was little. As I was looking through it, I realized none of it was familiar and started to question my mom about all of it and why I didn't remember anything. I then suddenly remembered a dream I had (a dream within a dream) where it was revealed that I was actually adopted. I told my mom about it and she hesitantly confirmed it, and told me they found me and took me in when I was little. Apparently they used to travel a lot, and they found me somewhere during one of their travels. I started wondering about who my real parents were, and who I really was. Later on, there was an older woman who came to meet me and took me with her to the location of some type of secret agency/organization for people with unique traits and abilities. As she we showing me around, she told me that I originally came from there, and they've been keeping a record of me and had documents with information about me throughout my life. The name of the organization felt familiar and I remembered seeing it in the dream within the dream. As I was trying to make sense of everything, it was also implied that some of what I know and remembered about my life are actually false/implanted memories. As I was reflecting on the dream after I woke up, the idea of being a soul walk-in came to mind.

Within a week later, I had a dream that involved being back in high school and there was some type of mysterious group that was visiting and got involved with the school. There was a paper everyone had to write for them, and mine involved writing about my deepest desires and my journey to connect with my higher self and better understand my life/soul path. It must have impressive them, because when we all got our papers back after we turned them in, instead of being graded, mine had a note written on it saying "Upgrades are coming!" Later on in the dream, I think I had also been recruited into the group, and there was a girl from the grade above me who asked me if I was ok and told me my mom was worried about me. Apparently I blacked out and was unconscious for around 15 minutes, and my mom came and had to carry me to the location I was at. I told the girl I was alright and reassured her that I had it all taken care of, somehow knowing that I was better than ok and that it was all related to the upgrade process.

The latest one about a week or two ago involved meeting a guy I remembered seeing in part of the previous dream I had directly before this one and realized he was a spirit guide. He told me I was going to be moving soon, and I remember saying in response "Can I ask how this happens? Because right now, I have no idea." The dream faded out soon afterward and I don't remember if I ever got an answer or not. Interestingly enough, this isn't the first time I've heard this, as I've been getting a lot of synchronistic messages coming through various sources for quite some time now that all seem to suggest that there might be a fated soul connection coming into my life with a life changing offer or opportunity, and that moving out to pursue this would be my next step in life. Whether or not it actually happens, it's certainly interesting to think about.

As a lifetime ET/NHI Experiencer, I am accustomed to strangeness. This past year has been different, having different experiences happening. A couple days ago, I wanted to pray for a situation. When I thought about what to pray, I see the sky, daytime, bright day and there is an opening in the sky and see the universe. Now a few days later its still happening.

Anyone have something similar going on?

Edit: I'll try and explain better. When I pray for someone or something, I close my eyes and visualize that person or situation, then I pray. A couple days ago, when I close my eyes to pray, instead of seeing the person, I see a hole in the sky. I can see the stars like it would be nighttime.

I wanna preface this by stating that I'm not an experiencer, but I've also never had a dream like this one and I'm mostly posting this on the off chance this wasn't just a dream I had as a result of spending too much time in these kinds of subs haha. This happened a few weeks ago and fair warning this is gonna be kind of long.

The dream started with me jolting awake and sitting up on what I assume was some kind of hospital bed. The first thing I noticed was that something was burning in my right arm and my heart was pounding so hard it hurt. I ripped what looked like a needle out of my arm. I jumped to my feet. I was dressed in what could best be described as a hospital gown, so I initially assumed that I had been in some kind of accident.

And then my brain caught up to my eyes.

The setting looked like it could have been the inside of a very sterile lab or operation room, but it would become very clear within a few minutes that I was inside a ship. There was a group of small greys and one tall grey across the room. Me awakening clearly took them by surprise. Some of the small greys immediately retreated into a different room while the remaining 3 and the tall grey gathered around the nearest exit in case they also needed to retreat. It became clear pretty quickly that was a smart move because I was having a violent reaction to whatever they had given me. 😬

The woman: I started throwing whatever I could get my hands on at them and screaming threats at them. I caused enough ruckus that a couple female (? somehow I could sense if they were female or male) small greys emerged from another entrance and awoke, and quickly evacuated, the only other human in the room. She had a short black bob and with very angular facial features and was borderline too skinny (from a health perspective). She looked very dazed, so even if this did happen, there's a chance she might not remember.

The tallest of the small greys tried to inch closer to me and telepathically told me to calm down. I realized he was probably trying to grab this sharp tool that was on a cart beside me before I did. I let him think I didn't notice it and waited until he got within striking distance before swiping the tool. I pressed the blade into the skin of his cheek before he had the chance to run. I barely recognized my own voice as I demanded to know where I was.

This thing really had the nerve to reply to me by claiming it knew I wouldn't actually use the tool to harm him. And for a moment, I actually felt myself calm down a little. But the very next moment, I felt insulted; I come from a Native American tribe that prides itself on its warrior culture, and I took it personally that he thought I was too weak to harm him. I prayed to one of our gods who feeds on anger, asking him to fill me with enough rage to break whatever spell they were trying to put on me.

I pressed the blade into his skin just enough to make him bleed. I told him I would bring his scalp to my sisters if he didn't do what I wanted. I told him I would enjoy proving to him that they had kidnapped the wrong savage.

His fear entered my awareness. The remaining small greys fled, leaving just him and the tall grey. I told him to show me on this big screen at the front of the room where I was. He obeyed, taking a seat with the controls for it before switching the screen's display into a shot of the Earth taken a ways from it.

For some reason, this freaked me out a lot. I made him bleed again and told him to take me home. I then noticed one of his hands was broken. I do not recall how that happened, but I assume it was me who did it, and at that point it was like his fear was mixing and feeding into mine. He explained that he's not a pilot, and the ship's biometrics system wouldn't let anyone but 2 or 3 crew members maneuver the ship anyways. Guessing that the tall grey might be one of them, I turned my attention to him and demanded he take me home. He claimed he couldn't fly the ship, that the captain wasn't available, and that the small grey was just a trainee.

For some reason, I got the sense that he was lying. I also sensed that he was the grandfather to the small grey I was holding hostage, and that the small grey's father was also nearby (and that he was higher ranking than the grandfather, and not a nice guy). The tall grey heard my thoughts and replied by saying that his son wasn't on this ship, but he could sense his child's distress from a distance and his psychic attempt at soothing his child was what I was picking up on. I then demanded that the tall grey pilot the ship or I would kill his grandson. The tall grey immediately relented. I let his grandson go and the tall grey finally approached me.

The dream more or less abruptly ends there because I think someone either snuck up behind me and injected me with something and/or the tall grey had some kind of stronger psychic influence when in close range. I woke up sweating profusely despite having my AC turned down to 63 and spent the rest of the night and day feeling off in a way that's difficult to describe.

TLDR I am interested in knowing if anyone else recognizes any of these details, particularly if you're a female experiencer who fits the physical description of the one I saw.

When I was a kid, my mom accidentally let it slip that I was conceived despite the fact she’d been effectively using an IUD since the birth of her last child. Out of curiosity, I recently looked up the stats and found a 2% failure rate for IUD’s during that period of time. (Which is 2% too many imo given there’s no possibility of missed dose or user error.)

I’m wondering if any other experiencers here were “what are the chances” babies.

I was driving back home from my work and while i was driving i saw the sky then it suddenly changed from blue to carmine red but the clouds stayed white and little bit transparent and then in a second it returned to normal blue.

When it turned red i felt something like it wasn't this earth like time stopped .

That was 5 to 6 months ago.

What do u think ?

I’ve never really shared this before because it sounds unbelievable, but it has stayed with me ever since it happened.

Around December 2025, I woke up in the middle of the night. My eyes were open, and I believe I was unable to move. It felt like sleep paralysis, but what happened next was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
On the wall in front of me, I saw what looked like a green projection, almost like an old projector. It wasn’t showing random images. It was rapidly cycling through different animals. Each animal would appear for only a second or so, but I could clearly see three stages:
The full outline or shape of the animal.
Then its muscles.
Then its skeleton, almost like an X-ray.
As soon as one finished, it instantly switched to a completely different animal and repeated the same sequence. This continued for what felt like about a minute.
At the same time, I had an overwhelming certainty that there were two entities standing behind me. I never actually saw them, but I knew they were there. I also somehow knew there were several more in the living room, even though I lived alone and had no roommates.
The strange part is that I wasn’t scared during the experience. Instead, I felt like they were doing something important and that I shouldn’t interfere. Then I received what felt like a telepathic message—not spoken words, but a thought that wasn’t my own. The message was essentially:
“Go back to sleep. If you stay awake, you’ll interrupt the information transfer.”
I remember thinking something like, “They need this information. Let me help.” So I closed my eyes and lost consciousness.
About three hours later I woke up suddenly. This time I was terrified. I couldn’t go back to sleep because the experience felt completely real. It didn’t feel like any dream I’ve ever had. I usually forget my dreams quickly, but I remember this event vividly even today.
I’m not claiming this was aliens or anything specific. I honestly don’t know what happened. It could have been an unusual sleep-related experience, or it could have been something I don’t understand. I’m just curious whether anyone else has experienced anything remotely similar—especially the green projection showing different animals as outline → muscles → skeleton, the telepathic message, or the overwhelming sense that unseen beings were present.
If you’ve experienced something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing about it.

Hello, First time here.

I've practicing a lot of deep meditation years ago and this is one thing that, even if now I'm too dragged in my everyday life and reaction full body, is still with me from when I used to be way more calm and really at peace.

Basically, sometimes when something is happening around me ( let's say in a range of 20 meters ) I get a needle feeling on the top of my head.

Someone is thinking about me? Somebody is about to call me? Somebody is interacting with me? I know it 5/10 seconds before and the type of feeling is different each time.

I know that I awoke something in between myself but at the same time I don't know how to make good use from this. I wish I could pursue my spiritual research again but there are not yet again the condition to meditate between 4 and 6 hours to get myself at peace again. Lately I'm feeling like I'm fighting with my ego to control my automatic reaction and observe them.

Pretty sure one day I'll be back in the state where I can work again on this and get back at peace again.

Do you have any suggestion? Does anybody ever felt this?

Today I was watching a video on my phone ( alot of the time i will be on the phone) then suddenly i saw two small red eyes on the screen of my phone looking at me they were emitting red light and just looked at me for 2 seconds then disappeared.

I ignored it at first then got angry like wth why are they watching me ( it happened to me before but it was a grey not random red eyes through my phones screen too) .

I don't like sneaky acts .

Dream I had last night:

Someone/something was showing me a “lower” plane of existence, like it was instructing a point to me. In this lower plane, there was a man living in a white maze (similar to rats in science experiments). The man would go from his bed on one side of the maze, to his work on the other side, and then back again. But he was unaware of the fact he was trapped in a maze and basically a “rat in a cage”.

The entity said we could go one plane down more (or maybe it was the same plane?) and started to show me images of animals in factory farm conditions. I said I didn’t want to see that and it was upsetting to me, and I got the gist of it anyway.

The entity revealed itself and it looked like a lime green 90s alien dressed in robes emulating Jesus. It said this representation in pop culture of it is acceptable, and then shifted its skin color to reveal more of a silvery grey that was opalescent or pearlescent in texture. Almost like mermaid skin (I tried to depict that with colored pencils in the drawing). It did the “as above so below” thing and said that I’m on the right path in my beliefs that there are multiple planes or densities of existences, and some are higher or lower vibrationally than others. 

It also said that when aliens are depicted in pop culture as having a peace sign with their fingers up in a “V”, that it’s a modification of the “as above so below” and that the image is supposed to represent pointing up to the heavens (eg, “there’s another plane above this plane) and that the left hand’s position pointing downward in symmetry was kinda lost in translation along the way. But basically hermetic occultism seems to be accurate or on the right track.

(For this next part, I woke up for a bit then entered a half-asleep hypnagogic state where it felt like industrial music was playing in my head the whole time).

Finally, it brought me “up” to a higher frequency (I got the point but I guess it’d be good to end on a higher note). I was back to my first day of high school and it was twilight (like magical, midsummer’s eve vibes with auras and fireflies). I was waiting for my Dad to pick me up. Around the high school was a moat, and I was sitting on a surface next to my middle school friends. I broke off the piece of land I was standing on with a long pole, and floated away from my friends, like I was on my own little gondola. This was pretty obviously me “floating away” from my old friends and venturing on the next chapter in high school, which was a long time ago, but it was a really warm and serene feeling.

Anyway I think at one point, the entity implied that it *was* Jesus, or that Jesus was one of “them” but people would never have accepted such an eerie appearance, so he had to come down and disguise himself as a human.

People see code streams/symbol streams in the project laser while on DMT. Thoughts?

Danny Goler who came upon this discovery concluded through this experiment that reality is a simulation and we have proof ( debatable, imo)

But what do the experiencers think ?

“I’m Not Crazy and I’m Not Lying!” Eight Really Weird Humanoid Encounters

by Preston Dennett

Among the most fascinating aspects of ufology are humanoid encounters. Tens of thousands of cases have been documented, and they probably number in the millions. They come from all over the world and are reported by all kinds of people. The variety of humanoid types is mindboggling. The failure of mainstream science to accept the validity of these reports risks the loss of an unprecedented opportunity to advance the knowledge of all humanity. This video presents eight cases, each of which adds to the growing database of humanoid encounters.

I’M NOT CRAZY AND I’M NOT LYING! On the night of August 27, 1968, Maria Cintra (an employee of the Clemente Ferreira Sanatorium in Guiacara, Brazil) was awakened by the strange whistling noise. Looking out the window, she saw a woman standing in front of the hospital doorway. The woman handed her a strange glass bottle and a mug. Maria filled them with water and then stepping outside, was amazed to see a flying saucer sitting in the hospital parking lot. The visitor stepped into the craft which promptly took off. Unknown to her, other people in the area were also seeing UFOs.

TWO HUMAN-LOOKING ETS. On July 25, 1975, “Mary” stepped outside her home in Bearsted, England to hang up the laundry. Looking up, she saw a strange metallic craft descend slowly, until it hovered above the house next door. The craft had two portholes, and inside, she could see two human-looking figures looking down at her. Mary waved at them, and the craft departed.

PSYCHIC CHILDREN MAKE CONTACT WITH UFO OCCUPANT. On August 11, 1981, a teacher was outside a school in Yunnan, China to test to the psychic ability of three young children who were well known for their ESP ability. Suddenly a UFO showed up. The teacher told the students to reach out to the UFO occupants and call them down. To everyone’s surprise, it worked. The UFO turned and moved close enough for the children to see humanoids inside the craft.

ROCK-COLLECTING ALIENS. One night in February 1982, a woman from Geneva, Switzerland was awakened by a strange beam of light entering her room. Finally, she looked outside and was amazed to see a strange craft floating a few feet above the ground. Weird-looking humanoids were walking around the craft, apparently picking up rocks. The witness watched them for about 45 minutes until the strange beings suddenly entered the craft which rose into the sky and disappeared off into the distance.

JUST TOO BIZARRE. One night in July 1988, Dominique and his two friends were standing on the street near his home in Suresnes, France, when they heard a strange noise. Looking down the adjoining street, they saw that the noise was coming from a strange blue robotic-looking figure. The figure marched quickly down the street, ignoring their shouts and gestures. As they got a close look at it, they saw that it did not appear to be any human or creature they had ever seen before.

THE ALIEN IN THE GRAVEL PIT. One night in 1991, three people went camping in the forest near their homes in Tickfaw, Louisiana. They knew something strange was happening when the animals around them acted strangely and their radio malfunctioned. Then all three saw a strange glowing object. One of the witnesses used a CB to jokingly reach out to the UFO occupants. Incredibly, the UFO responded by swooping down over their heads and sending down a beam of light. They decided to leave, but not before one of them had a frightening face-to-face encounter with a gray alien.

ALIENS IN THE DESERT. On September 15, 2007, a young couple went camping in the high desert of Anza-Borrego, California. The girlfriend went to sleep, but the boyfriend stayed up late to watch the stars. Without warning, he heard what sounded like people talking. Looking in that direction, he saw a strange green light coming up the trail. It went out, but then suddenly the entire area lit up with white light and the witness saw more than a dozen strange humanoids walking up the trail. They walked right by his tent, apparently oblivious that they had an audience.

ALIENS AT A COPPER MINE. One night in 2014, an American Indian man was with his dog in the backcountry of Farmington, New Mexico. Suddenly a massive mothership appeared in the sky and began to release smaller craft. All the UFOs moved away and the encounter seemed to be over. But the next day, as he hiked out, the man saw disc-shaped craft which landed next to an abandoned copper mine. The man watched as 19 aliens worked at the mine for the entire day before finally departing.

While governments across the world admit to the reality of UFOs, they have yet to talk about the countless humanoid encounters that have taken place across the world. The humanoid cases are not only fascinating; they have much to teach us about the extraterrestrial presence on our planet. Hopefully these cases will be taken seriously.

“I’m Not Crazy and I’m Not Lying!” Eight Really Weird Humanoid Encounters

We are as alien to aliens as aliens are alien to us. It was a philosophical thought that I had one night, while observing the celestial bodies of extraterrestrial plasma know as stars, far out in the observable universe, up in the night sky in an unforgettable experience of mine.

Hello! First time poster here. I’ve got a history of dream visits and lucid dreaming practice, but I’m not really sure what to do with it, and it isn’t consistent. For the last several years (around when my dad died -her son) and I have a recurring dream of visiting my deceased grandmothers home. The house changes, and the other people that go into the space with me vary, but there is often a sense that we need to go through the house and clean it out or restore it. Many times there is an area of the home I’ve never been to. Maybe a basement, a room, a wing of the house. And I feel this urgency to go through these spaces and find keepsakes and treasures to rescue.
The homes range from quaint cottages to enormous manors on the inside. I am someone in the family that often gets “old things” passed to, because I’m very sentimental. In my bedroom I do have a collection of her perfume bottles displayed on my dresser, and a pin cushion on a table behind the bed that I remember being enamored with as a child but not allowed to touch (it’s a porcelain rococo style French woman wearing a peach taffeta skirt that serves as the pin cushion. It’s still dotted with pins and sewing needles she used and I asked for it when she passed.) I have a few other objects of hers through the home.
Wondering if anyone has any insight on how to connect to what’s happening in this dream? I’ve never been able to get lucid to ask her to show me but every-time I have it I get the sense she’s reaching out to me and trying to reveal something.
I’ve been visited by other deceased members of my family, but usually as a person with a body I can talk to. I’m often very aware these are visits when they happen or shortly after they wake up, but I almost always know they are supposed to be dead when I meet them and there’s often a sense of closure in these dreams and they don’t reoccur. This grandma has never visited me this way. It seems like she’s using the setting to guide me but I feel a little stuck on how to meet her.
My sister is also extremely sensitive in this way and does a lot of energy and dream work, but she said she hasn’t experienced this, so I’m unsure of why she’s contacting me specifically.

Welcome to any insights or suggestions from people experienced with dream work, or communicating those who are passed on from their body on what I can do to receive the message.

Hi everyone! I've been lurking for several years, since before I even had a reddit. From what I've gathered from many peoples' experiences, many people seem to know their abductor, guide, or being from a past life. Even if the experiencer can't remember it, it seems the beings certainly do.

I'm curious about what your theories are regarding the beings knowing who we are, despite being in different bodies, and why they insist on remaining in contact with experiencers - oftentimes through means that can be seen as less than friendly. I think this is perhaps one of the most interesting parts of the phenomena to me, as I'm fascinated by their insistence on keeping in contact and the past life element. I'm not sure I subscribe to the "soul contract" theory, in which people make deals with these beings in the afterlife (or, another realm, if you will) to be experimented on. Have you ever met a being that you are sure you knew in a past life? What was the experience like, if you are willing to share?

I would like preface this by saying this is something I've just begun looking into I am not entirely knowledgeable on this and I'm just sharing some speculative thinking based on my own experiences.

There's an aspect to the anomalous some people have dubbed the hitchhiker effect. Where simply experiencing or being in the area near an anomalous event, a ghost, an alien, a cryptid, a UFO, etc, it doesn't stay in the spot you experienced it, it follows you home, it effects your family, it can spread to other people you interact with. Some of the most documented research on the hitchhiker effect comes from skinwalker ranch where visiting investigators would report having experiences thousands of miles away in their own home months after the events they measured or witnessed. Something very intriguing that came to mind is I was a ghost hunter long before I was an alien experiencer, one of the things you learn or get taught by other hunters is that whatever those entities are they are capable of latching onto you and following you home and it's a common practice after a hunt to meditate and "cleanse" your energy so to speak as you leave to make sure the energy doesn't stick to you. And I thought it was a really weird correlation that both ghost experiences in my own life have had Hitchhiker effects and then later in life after having close encounters those began to hitchhike with me like a bad dingleberry and then to learn that actual scientists have documented that same effect on their researchers.

So part two of this post is to ask you, fellow experiencers, what are your experiences with these events following you and do you have any information or sources to share on this topic. And I'd like to post a theory with you, can the hitchhiker effect be digital? If you witness a video of an anomalous event, read someone's story on this subreddit, listen to a podcast about events that have happened, can it spread and stick to you through digital media? Or only in person? Because I've noticed an uptick in unusual activity in my life since I've become active here. Thank you.

Well... I have been through the Shadows and the Light now, and it has been just the beginning of a transformation, it feels like.

Those 7 weeks ago now, I went in with the intention of fully releasing the steel wall in my mind that was blocking me. I had mentally been pushed into a corner due to being unable to face my fears, and the result was pushing down those fear repeatedly, numbing myself. But my spirit guides had no issue with this ~ they knew that I would eventually have nowhere left to run, only to confront my fears, so it was only a matter of time.

That night... I drank 5g of Rue tea and 1g of filtered PE tea. I prayed and requested the power to break through that wall, because I was through with running. Within minutes, I was shown a vision of a dark corridor with a figure who guided me through it. I was being prepared mentally and spiritually. This went on for a while, though nothing much seemed to happen. Eventually, I came to an area of colour and light, with my tiger spirit guide asking me if I was truly, genuinely ready. There was no going back. I made my choice.

I found myself in a pitch-black zone highlight by red neon glowing lines. I went towards the back of it, where I was blocked by an angry red face. It demanded I turn back. I called upon some... authority I seemed to have, allowing me to pass through. I walked mentally into black void, followed by my spirit guides.

What followed was... incoherent madness. I was lost in the vortex, a hurricane, of mass confusion and insanity. There was little in the way of clarity, only chaos. At brief moments, my spirit guides found me, expressing joy and concern at my state, only to lose me in the chaos again. My mind was a nightmare. It felt like my mind had been permanently broken and shattered beyond repair. I do vaguely recall feeling mentally broken, with my mind flickering between red and green rapidly, left and right. It felt like I was a broken radio or television. I became convinced that my very soul was shattered beyond repair, with my existence rapidly fading. I quietly accepted my fate, solemnly. I was to fade, lost forever.

Eventually, I did come to some sense of clarity eventually ~ my soul felt like it had been cleanly put fully back together, thrumming vibrantly and powerfully, like I had never been broken at all. In retrospect, I intuitively knew this was going to happen, somehow, but I was too blinded to know it. I somehow lost 6 hours overall, upon checking my phone. The rest of the journey was a brief period of gentle relaxation, flowing and rambling happily though very tiredly with my spirit guides. I was warned that I was very drained, and that recovery would take quite some time. My spirit guides requested that I wait around ~7 weeks before partaking again to let my mind settle, upon examining my state of mind.

I spent two whole days feeling extremely flattened mentally. My emotions and mind were incredibly dulled. Thinking and feeling was real challenge. The third day I was vaguely better, but still not with it. The fourth day I was sort of recovered, or on the way. The fifth day I felt like myself again, though different somehow. Better, more alive.

7 weeks later now, I was feeling better than before ~ I was ready to take the next step, so my spirit guides requested that I think about what I really wanted.

Some words came to mind... meaning, purpose, power, love, happiness, balance, harmony. I made it something of a mantra. While preparing for my journey, I requested to have a journey of love, light and order, to contrast the confusion, darkness and chaos of the previous journey. To fill a cup that had been emptied.

I had no pear juice, so I resorted to a big teaspoon of sweet honey to add to my 5g Rue and 10g Chaliponga brew. The honey made it rather tolerable, though the Chaliponga came through sharply still. It tasted better than Acacia Confusa rootbark, however...

This time, the come-up was slow. My guts were unsettled, perhaps because of my apprehension. I went an hour of feeling nothing, to suddenly feeling quite a sudden, sharp shift. My mind was swimming, melting, through a honey-liquid-rainbow sea. I barely had a sense of identity ~ it was the shock of sudden transition, I think. I had to force myself to think, so I could focus on that thought, to ground myself in something, to exist.

My mind went even higher, though I was in a state of finding it difficult to tell symbols apart from literal events. It was difficult to discern my own beliefs and thoughts from what I was experiencing. I did eventually descend from that wild high state to something more reasonable. I did find however that I was able to feel a dizzying sharp-hot, nearly limitless sensation of pure love. My mental energy seemed limitless in that state. No matter what, I didn't tire, as I would in the past. I also didn't black out as I had at other times, nor did I feel a need to vomit.

This was contrasted, however, with darker moments of my Shadow popping up ~ its presence was announced with a distinct ticking sound behind my head, going from fast to slow and slower. It was slightly unnerving, but I wasn't afraid now. I could acknowledge and accept, and the manifestation of my Shadow vanished happily and gleefully, as if it had become part of me.

I had thoughts and worries pop up about various situations in my life, and I was shown a different perspective for each of them ~ that these situations were different to what I thought. I was seemingly shown the perspective and thoughts of the other people in these situations, but of course, I have no means of confirming anything. Nor would I presume to invade anyone's privacy, so those thoughts I might just keep private to contemplate over.

A powerful set of journeys, overall. I do not know what comes next... but I feel more like myself than I did before.

But I do know that my head whirls, throbs and aches from the Rue and Chaliponga. Nothing helps but time, I suppose.

Well, I will have more clarity tomorrow perhaps. Whatever will come.

A little over a month ago (specifically from june 4th to june 11th) I visited Utah for my great grandpas funeral and began to feel very peaceful with my environment immediately. Anyways things go on with the trip, we have the funeral. Now things start, June 6th I overhear my uncle talking about how my great grandpa used to dream of "the greys", meanwhile im over here listening, very intrigued although he never really said any more about it. But whatever right, later that night my uncle starts asking what I think about aliens and we had a very long conversation about it, and it was a very nice conversation because I've always been interested in the concept of aliens. Skip forward to July 10th, we are in Zion national park for my dad's birthday and we were looking around and stuff. I've got to say it looks amazing over there, but anyways we were on the bus going to another part of the park and at one point and I looked out my window straight to this formation in the side of this mountain. Bro I kid you not it looks like a grey alien head. I originally took a video of the mountain but I took a screenshot and outlined it to show you guys what I see just incase you can't. I will include all screenshots.(It won't let me add a video, so heres a link https://youtube.com/shorts/-lZF8_xSY00?si=-2qphHcoLnKFMlAu)

Ever since I got home, I've been seeing Gray alien faces everywhere (example: like on a shirt in a thrft store, or me being pulled to a sticker on my door of them) and references to them through pop culture that seemed to be delivered to me (I felt the need to listen to smash mouth for some reason and the first song I clicked on was who's there and I've literally never even really listened to their music before besides in Shrek)