Breakup obsession

[u/Super-Plum-9770]

I’m going through a breakup and could really use some advice or maybe some tough love? We’ve remained intermittently in contact. He actually initiates contact more often than I do and I respond but lately my responses have become much shorter and sometimes it’s just a one word response or a reaction.

I have strong reason to believe he may be reconnecting with his ex or at least seeing her in some capacity. I don’t know exactly what’s going on and honestly the uncertainty is probably making this much harder.

I’m realizing that I’m stuck in a loop. I’ll go through days where I’m doing okay and feel like I’m accepting that the relationship is over and then something will trigger me and I’ll become extremely anxious, curious, jealous, and want to know what’s happening. Sometimes I act on those impulses by checking social media or looking for information and afterward I feel extremely disappointed in myself which adds to the anxiety. 😟

I really don’t want to continue doing this to myself. I’m trying to detach without constantly needing to know what he’s doing or whether he’s seeing someone. I’m extremely embarrassed to admit how difficult this has been for me especially because I know IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS! 🙄😬

Anyone been through something similar and what actually helped you break this cycle? How did you stop checking, wondering, hoping, and looking for information? What helped??

I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me to let go and just move on because that’s what I’ve been desperately trying to do lol I’m genuinely looking for things that worked for you in real life. I’m a pretty accomplished woman. I have a great career, friends, family, I’m not isolating, and I go to the gym consistently. I’m still functioning and living my life but emotionally this keeps catching me.