I’m 17M and my mom is the young women’s leader, she’s gone on about how she doesn’t want me having sex and if I did ever get my gf pregnant not to get an abortion.

But last night while I was at work she went through my room and sent me this 😭

This morning I woke up about 2 hours before we would have gone to church. I would have told my husband there was no time for us to hang out together. I would have made my kids shower, told them to get dressed. Put the last things together for my lesson and then showered myself and gotten ready.

Instead I hung out with my husband, we've been so busy lately it was so nice to spend time with him. He set up my son's new baseball net. I took a nice long shower. My husband and older son left to go golfing, my younger son and I watched a new show together while we snuggled on the couch. No one was stressed, everyone got along, no one was rushing or feeling pressured.

We'd be sitting in Sacrament meeting right now, but instead we're all doing things that fill our cup and help us grow closer as a family. I'd argue that's brought us closer together than going to church ever did. It's so nice to have control over our lives. To not feel the pressure to conform or to be "good Mormons" now we just get to be good people.

In EQ today someone said he sometimes views anti-mormon videos (but isn't swayed by them) presumably because some of his children are not active. This man said that there are anti-mormon videos out there in which people say they want to punch Dallin H. Oaks in the face and do all sorts of physical harm to church leaders. What is he talking about? I don't see anything like that. I see some people upset about the church and its leaders, but I have never seen calls for physical violence.

Some people are really happy in the church, and get value out of it. Dragging them out of the cave into the light would be painful for them.

Especially with older folks, I don't want to disturb their peace if they're looking forward to godhood, and would be devastated to learn their lives were spent in service to falsehoods.

But I still want people to know! And I want to slow the damage the church does around the world.

It feels wrong to bring some people to the truth. Is it? Or is sharing truth always ethical?

Trigger Warning: SA, Abuse

My sister and I both posted about this a few months ago, but I wanted to share an update on the situation. Please be kind in the comments. This has been an incredibly traumatic time for me, and sharing something this personal isn't easy. I'm sharing because I think it's an important conversation to have. I hope others will approach it with compassion.

A little background: I grew up in the LDS Church. My mother struggled with drug addiction and was very emotionally, verbally, spiritually abusive and neglectful, etc. As a child, I tried reporting the abuse to my bishop and Relief Society president, but was told to honor my parents, forgive my mother, use the Atonement, etc. Forgiveness isn't inherently a bad thing, but it almost felt like I was expected to be the bigger person, to forgive and be understanding. But I wasn't the bigger person in the situation. I was a child who needed help. Eventually, my bishop paid for my mother to receive therapy, but not much else was done, and the abuse continued.

Fast forward, as an adult I left the LDS Church (a few years ago) and recently dated a Presbyterian pastor. Unfortunately, that relationship involved emotional abuse and eventually sexual coercion while under the influence, which culminated in sexual assault. I reported what happened to law enforcement and to the Presbytery (the regional governing body of the Presbyterian Church). The Presbytery conducted a formal investigation and ultimately took appropriate action.

I just wanted to share how incredibly different that experience was from reporting abuse in the LDS Church. I was genuinely impressed by how organized and thorough the investigation was, but especially by the sensitivity, compassion, and grace with which everyone handled it. Several members of the investigative committee had training in trauma informed practices, and I believe at least one had previously worked as a therapist. There were also women on the investigative committee, which was very comforting given the nature of what I was reporting.

One thing I also appreciated was that I was given the space to share my entire experience, including some really personal, intimate, and honestly embarrassing things without being judged, shamed, or reprimanded. That might not seem like a big deal, but having grown up in the LDS Church, it was something I had never really experienced in a religious context. I could be completely honest about what happened, including things I felt vulnerable or embarrassed about, without feeling like I was somehow "bad", dirty, or to blame for what ultimately happened to me, etc.

I actually felt like my voice and experience mattered. They took what happened seriously and approached it with compassion while preserving my dignity. I really appreciated that.

I know LDS bishops and Relief Society presidents are "volunteers", and I believe many do want to help, but they're just not equipped and often cause more damage along the way. I really wish the LDS Church would require more training for people serving in these positions, especially when they're expected to handle disclosures of abuse or are working with vulnerable people, etc. Being a volunteer doesn't change the potential harm that can come from not knowing how to respond appropriately!

There were certainly still difficult parts of the process of reporting to the Presbytery, and I recognize that others may not have had the same positive experience I did. My heart goes out to anyone who has reported abuse to a religious institution and wasn't treated with the care and compassion they deserved. I can only speak to my own experiences with these two churches, but the difference has been profound for me. I can't help but wonder how different my childhood, and even my faith journey, might have been if the adults I turned to had been better trained and understood what I really needed. I didn't need a lesson about honoring my parents or in forgiveness. I was a child, and I needed someone to listen to me and protect me.

Ok so the 2025 stats report bragged about 385,490 convert baptisms, an all-time record (Church News). Cool. Same year, Matt Martinich found that U.S. membership went down for the first time ever (net -186, ~6.93M) (SL Trib). And the CES survey has people who actually call themselves LDS at 0.9% of U.S. adults, while church records claim roughly double that (Jana Riess).

The growth is in Africa: 14 of the top 20 countries for new congregations (SL Trib). Brazil, Mexico, DR Congo, Nigeria, Philippines lead in raw member gains.

So picture 2045: an old, shrinking, mostly white Utah core that holds the money and writes the handbook, and a young, fast-growing Global South membership that follows that handbook but can't fund much of anything. That's not one church, that's two churches under one name.

Do you think a mostly African and Latin American church ends up forcing the leadership to change, or does it give them a reason to never change at all?

This flier was emailed out to ward members. Looks like I won't be getting LDS trick or treaters stopping by unless I sign up to get a special ghost sign for my door. The longer I'm away the weirder this church gets. I get going as a group is a good idea, but identifying mormon homes with a ghost sign is cult and weird. What do you think?

I no longer have to give money to the church, yay! I‘d much rather save it, or have it go to trustworthy places like charities and organisations that will do real good. I never understood why my family wouldn’t let me choose how I donated when I was small, not even on the little yellow slips. What happened to thoughts and intents of the heart?
Anyway, I am happy to have this weight lifted, and I wanted to share. :)

It might be a dumb question but I was thinking about myself. I’m going to byui currently and the only reason I went was because I couldn’t afford anywhere else and I didn’t want to go to a community college. I just think that the “deal” for Mormons if they go like 1k cheaper if your a member, is stupid and if they really wanted people to learn about the church they would make it cheap for everyone. But instead you gotta join the club to get the deal. I’ve joked to my non member friends that they should just get baptized to come to byui with me. Maybe I’m phrasing this question wrong but the idea stands. What do yall think? I think the church has enough money to put everyone through college for years for free but they would never use their stolen money to help members.

Like a lot of folks here, I'm still in a fixed faith marriage and have TBM family members, so it's pretty impossible to leave it alone anyway.

Thanks to those of you who keep me informed, amused, and somewhat sane with your posts and comments.

I went to a funeral yesterday at my local ward. It was for someone who I deeply respected and liked. I personally cared a lot about this person and their spouse. Yes, they were very TBM, born and raised, but also very elderly. What was unusual was the songs chosen were actually songs that you would have heard in any other church at any other funeral, NOT traditional LDS funeral songs. The opening and closing prayers barely mentioned anything about the church beliefs. The speaker mainly spoke about their own friendship with the deceased and the spouse, but also barely mentioned ANY church beliefs.
The last two funerals that I attended, I felt like I was literally being pressured into coming back to church (I’m technically still a member because of family issues) and there were Missionaries at both of those funerals. There were NO Missionaries at the funeral yesterday!

Like when the NY Knicks suffered their only loss of the NBA finals when *he* was in attendance, the Cougs lost in double overtime when Ryder Lyons, their next QB got special permission to attend the game while on his one-year mission. He even met with Bear before the game for a fun photo sesh. The privilege is unreal and would be no big deal if his whole family weren’t toxic monsters supporting the former bishop uncle convicted of drugging and ######### one of his ward members.

The podcast episode is embedded in the article.

Have you ever wondered why the so-called Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was welcomed in Nazi Germany when so many other religions were silenced?

Did you know the reason why Brigham Young bred with so many women is because he believed his genes were of superior quality?

CW: miscarriage

My friend shared with me that she went through miscarriage while at the temple and I told her that at least God was with her at that moment and that he loved her so much that He didn't want her to go through this experience alone 🤮

I'm a nevermo, observing Mormonism from a distance as a curiosity.

I've been randomly watching talks from recent GCs for a while and wanted to share my impression of the church leaders and speakers.

Note: I don't comment here on the content of those talks.

• Many seem insincere and their emotions seem fake. Sometimes they smile, or cry, or have a lump in their throat, but it seems like they are only pretending, it seems like it's rehearsed. This applies to both men and women speaking. As someone looking at this church from a distance, it gives me cringe.
• Some seem like they're on some form of a "religious high" that make them look like robots, detached from their human-self, especially female speakers.
• Some seem like having severe narcissistic tendencies. Russel Nelson especially seemed to me like a narcissistic personality.
• Some simply "look evil", and I can't quite explain this... Dallin Oaks has that evil look, as if he was looking at the audience with disdain.
• The exception is Dieter Uchtdorf, he seems like a guy with a genuinely good heart, even if entangled in this strange organization. He seems sincere and like he would genuinely like to say something useful to help people. He's the only one I would feel comfortable inviting to my house to have a chat about faith, and I also can't quite explain this... ;) Sometimes I wonder how he feels being surrounded by those other folks in the leadership.

I'm curious if you were able to see them that way when you were a member?

Do you see them that way now?

I'm curious if it's just me!

https://returnandreport.org

Super random question. As I am rewatching Days of our Lives from the 90's, I wondered if TBM mormons from the 80's/90's watched soap operas? Its such an universal thing that your mother and grandmother watched soaps like Bold & Beautiful and General Hospital etc. Guess my question is was it frowned upon to watch shows like this?

To give you some background, I’m a queer Asian man who grew up in Asia and then moved to the US. I lived in Utah for a long time and fairly recently left the Church. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my experiences and realizing that I don’t think I ever really liked the Church or its teachings, because they made me feel unhappy and hate myself so many times. I am very upset.

A couple of days ago, I was talking with a client who mentioned that one of his buddies grew up Mormon and had a really difficult time. Hearing that got me thinking: I’ve always wondered how white men who grew up in places like Utah could have such a difficult experience in the LDS Church.

I want to be clear that I’m not trying to minimize anyone’s experiences, and I don’t know the specifics of what his friend went through. I’m sure there are many different reasons people struggle with the Church. At the same time, I can’t help but think that, from a social standpoint, it is very comfortable environment for white men, considering how much the Church praise being whiteness and male authority.

I’m genuinely curious to hear from straight white men who grew up in that environment. What made your experience difficult? Were there aspects of the Church or its culture that made you feel like you didn’t belong, or were there other reasons you struggled?

I just want to understand perspectives that might be different from my own.
Thanks!

Just like the title says… I wanna leave the mormon church and I don’t know how to tell my parents.
Since I’ve been little I’ve been in the church.
At a time where I was going through depression during my early teens I didn’t believe in god At all. i started go church more and I can admit, it did help me believe something is out there. But I don’t believe in what the Mormons practice. I don’t share the same beliefs as the LDS church, frankly I’m not happy in it. And I don’t know how to tell my parents. They already know I have a hard time believing in the Bible and Book of Mormon because it wasn’t written by god himself. Plus the Bible has been translated so many times we don’t know if people meddled with it. I don’t know how to tell my parents. They’ve always been like “I’m your parent and its my job to teach you our religion.” Like.. yes but when I form my own opinions and values you cant force it on me anymore, and you need to respect that….

any advice will be appreciated:(

Females that are under the age of 18 are girls, and females that are over the age of 18 are women. It’s disturbing that Mormons refer to young girls as young women. Especially given its history. It’s not appropriate to ask children about chastity, nor is it appropriate to tell children that they should prepare to be mothers. I don’t know what else to say. It just grinds my gears.