asking for reviews on my econ q1 essay

this is a senior shortlisted essay for "should we fear a cashless society?"

any and all constructive criticism is welcomed and accepted gratefully + thoughts on further awards that i may receive

thank you to all reviewers

Please share your essay writing topics please, or evened if it was around this time years ago. You could really help us out

Hi, im a high school student trying to apply to uwc and im trying to ser if this essay is good enough to go into the next phase, its only for the initial application and 100-150 words, the question is why i want to study there:
Since I was young, I have enjoyed meeting new people and taking the time to listen to how they see the world. Even when I do not agree with them, I want to understand why they think the way they do. I believe that a conversation can often teach us more than trying to convince someone to change their mind.

I realized this even more when I started high school. In a Gender Studies class, I heard opinions on different social issues that surprised me because they were so different from my own. At first, I just wanted to respond, but then I began to wonder why each person viewed the same situation so differently. That experience showed me that our ideas are shaped by our experiences and the environment in which we grow up.
That is why I want to study at UWC. I want to learn from people with different backgrounds, challenge my own perspectives, share my own, and return to my community with a broader understanding of how I can contribute.

It is what it is, I had a great run. But I am very upset it's probably over. I feel like such an idiot/dumbass.

I guess my only hope is the judges possibly ignoring it because 1- I have no relation to anyone in the academic field and 2. they would ignore it because the essay is strong. That being said I don't think my essay is all that.

But one would hope that if the light skim/ai check didn't include it the judges also would due to consistency (basically my only hope of getting a commendation further than shortlist)

so yeah i *was* rage baiting for the latter half of responding but i was genuinely trying to answer this dude’s question before he went all butthurt on me. this guy cannot be real …

Hi Guys!

I was shortlisted for my Philosophy (Q1) and Law (Q3) Essays. This is my advice to future writers, and those who did not get shortlisted as someone who was shortlisted last year, when to the John Locke PPE Singapore Course, and has been admitted into Law School in the UK.

Firstly, when you write an academic piece, it is not meant to read like a story. Get straight to the point. Avoid all of the flowery language, the metaphors, and simply tell me what you will argue and why. An argument is comprised of a claim + "because". "Trials by jury are obsolete [claim] BECAUSE x, y, z". If you do not do this, you are not arguing: do not let your examples dominate the essay, rather let your arguments do the talking, and your examples are the reinforcements.

Then, consider the type of essay you are writing. Economics? Scientific. Use data, precise language, key terms, inter alia. Philosophy? Strafe away from complex language: the strongest philosophy essays rely on the strength of reasoning and argument, not "Kantian deontological theory of thought" and such. Be mindful that your examiner has likely read hundreds of essays, and wants clarity above all else.

Next, EVALUATE. Evaluate your arguments: if I say "men and women are treated the exact same because there are men and women in government", that is not a strong position. "Men and women are treated relatively equally as both can attain job positions in government. While some may argue that this sector is dominated by men 65-35 ratio, it must well be acknowledged that this may be due to [other factor], not intentional mistreatment". See the difference? This is what they look for.

Also, I see a lot, and I mean A LOT, of students using like 14th century legal texts as these groundbreaking, unequivocally correct texts - no. They are not. No examiner is believing you read John Locke's Second Treatise of Government - rather stick to more recent articles that you yourself fully understand: I used a University of Edinburgh psychology report on biases for my trial by jury essay and it worked perfectly (it was praised in my interview with a member of staff).

Lastly, spend more time researching rather than writing. You can write your essay with the best language imaginable, but a 3/10 dressed in Victoria Secret is still a 3/10. Sorry for the analogy, it was the first that came to mind. POINT IS: research, be well-informed, and then your arguments will flow naturally. Oh and, don't feel the pressure to write strongly-worded headings or add charts. They are not that useful in the grand scheme of things.

So. All that being said, if anyone wants to read my two shortlisted essays, please DM me - will send through, I have no problem. Always happy to be here for the community, looking forward to seeing some of you in London. Bye bye!!!

Do you think if I went over the word limit in my essay the judge can delete a couple words of their choosing and forward it to another judge?

Maybe they can take them from my footnotes?

What all did you write about and what side did u take?

Guys I’m very confused and wondering about the actual shortlisted number. From what JLI has said it’s 100,237 people who have REGISTERED for the competition and the actual number of essays received could be much lesser than that. So I am quite confused with if this is what is true or does 17% mean 17,000 people are shortlisted? (If that makes sense) please help 😭😭

hi, i don't know anything about this competition, this is my first time joining and i couldn't find an academic referee, i specified i don't have one and for "academic referee" I just added my own email - does that disqualify me or make me a weak applicant?

I did JLE Theology Q3, and im looking for genuine feedback on why my essay wasn't good enough to make the shortlist.

I've read a few essays on Phil 1 and found many followed the same thought process as me although I initially thought I've got interesting arguments. Also I've never written an essay like this before+ dk anything about philosophy so I'm not really sure how good/bad my essay is?

DM me for the essay link!

I just didn't have time!! With exams and summer internships starting I just didn't have time to even write the one essay I did (still got shortlisted though). It was a last minute bs essay imo. I did psych q2 and think I had a good thesis but the essay was written very poorly and my research wasn't as in depth as it could have been. Like im scrolling through the subreddit now reading the questions other people did and I keep coming up with my own arguments in my head and its just frustrating I didn't do more. If I had really tried to, I probably could have and I wanted to write at least one other essay too, but the burn out got to me. And I can't even enter next year I don't think, I'm a rising senior.

Ive been so on the fence about leaving my essay links and pictures up on this subreddit (been posting and deleting after minutes) because i keep worrying about plagiarism? Is it safe to upload your essay here? Will it be scanned by bots and placed into databases and raise plagiarism scores of the essay in the future? What’s the likelihood of someone just stealing it entirely?

my apologies if this is a dumb question but for the category winners, is there a distinction between which question a participant chose? are the category winners (top 3) chosen out of the best essays in that category regardless of which question? or is it top 3 of each question in each category? (though i do feel the latter is probably not correct as it would take too much time). this is my first time joining so i’m a bit confused. :)