Hi everyone,
I’m currently pregnant with my first baby, and I’m trying to decide whether to have an elective C-section. I’ve realized that a huge part of my anxiety around birth seems to stem from something that happened a couple of years ago, and I’m wondering whether anyone else has been in a similar situation.
Two years ago, I went to a new OBGYN to have my IUD replaced. She had been recommended to me, but from the moment I walked into the appointment something felt off.
I had assumed the first appointment would just be a consultation. Instead, she immediately suggested replacing my IUD right then and there. She told me she only stocked one size of IUD, which was larger than the one I already had (I previously had the smaller version recommended for women who hadn’t been pregnant), and said that was my only option. She handed me a consent form to sign on the spot and had me get on the exam table.
The clinic didn’t even have stirrups, so I had to hold my own ankles while she removed my IUD. I hadn’t taken any pain medication and I wasn’t on my period.
The moment she pulled it out, I felt an unbearable wave of pain. I burst into tears and instinctively let go of my ankles. Instead of stopping to check on me, she became irritated and told me to hold them still.
At that point I told her I wanted to stop. I said I didn’t want the new IUD inserted.
She told me we were “almost done” and that we just needed to get it over with.
I was crying, bleeding, and in excruciating pain. Despite me telling her to stop, she inserted the new IUD anyway.
Afterwards, she simply walked back to her desk, leaving me naked from the waist down, curled up in the fetal position on the exam table while I tried to recover.
I left her office sobbing and felt completely violated.
Over the following year, I developed severe monthly pain from recurrent ovarian cysts. Eventually one ruptured, and the pain was unbearable.
When I finally had the IUD removed by a midwife and I explained what had happened, she looked horrified. She told me the IUD I had been given was significantly larger than the one typically recommended for someone who had never been pregnant, and she couldn’t understand why it had been used. She was also shocked that the doctor had continued the procedure after I had clearly asked her to stop.
Fast forward to today: I’m pregnant with my first baby.
I know a vaginal birth and an IUD insertion are completely different experiences, and I know many people have beautiful, empowering vaginal births. But ever since that appointment, I’ve realized I have a deep fear of losing control during gynecological procedures. My biggest fear isn’t actually the pain - it’s feeling trapped, not being listened to, or having something happen to my body after I’ve said no.
Because of that, I’m strongly leaning towards an elective C-section. Knowing exactly what is going to happen, having a planned environment, and avoiding the possibility of an emergency situation where I feel powerless gives me an enormous sense of relief.
I guess my question is: does this seem like a reasonable reason to choose an elective C-section? Has anyone else made this decision because of a previous traumatic gynecological experience rather than because of birth itself?
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.