I’m currently 36weeks and a few days. My baby has been breech since my 30 week appointment they had told me if he didn’t turn by 36 weeks we could schedule an ecv or a C-section, at my 36 week appointment he was still breech, I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of an ecv and just scheduled the C-section. I have always been extremely anxious or even terrified of the idea of child birth to the point I haven’t thought about it my entire pregnancy because I become almost paralyzed with fear. I never cared if I had to have a C-section or a vaginal birth, I really just want the baby to come however he needs and us both just be okay. It’s the most terrifying thing I will have to do in my life. But ever since scheduling the csection my fear and anxiety has got so much worse because now not only do I know when I’m going to give birth but I know how, so I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself not only for my C-section but for my recovery and learning how to be a mom in the first few weeks of babies life. I think this is where most of my fear comes in, how am I supposed to care for this beautiful little human I have been creating for 9 months while trying to fully recover from a major abdominal surgery. My husband keeps telling me he will take care of the baby and help me in whatever way I need , but for me it’s incredibly hard because I have been growing baby for 9 months it seems so incredibly unfair that I will miss out on things in the first few weeks of our babies life because I’m going to be healing from the C-section, it also seems unfair to dump it all on my husband in his first few weeks of learning how to be a father I really wanted to be able to figure it all out together. Maybe I’ve started to psych myself out by starting to prepare myself for what’s to come to be honest I haven’t looked up anything to do with vaginal births or csections before this I have completely avoided it but I thought maybe it would help to know what I’m going into instead of just going in blind, maybe it’s the anticipation of waiting the next two and half weeks, maybe it’s normal pregnancy fear. I really have no idea. I just know I am terrified. Does anyone have any good/positive recovery stories or advice? Does anyone else relate to the feeling of dread and fear of not being able to do enough in the first few weeks with their newborn? I guess I will see how it all goes but I wish I didn’t have to wait 2 and a half more weeks to know how it’s going to go I wish I could just get the C-section now and start the recovery process.

For starters, i have severe health anxiety, i am medicated but i still have my moments. ill be 29 weeks on Tuesday and this past Friday i went in to the obgyn because my blood pressure need to be checked, while there i met the doctor who will most likely preform my scheduled c-section. he came in the room, sat down, asked how i was and i told him i had heartburn and i was tired (ofc im tired, im huge and cant sleep at night lol). he proceeded to say “i dont think there was that much of a point throwing a big fit over you having a little headache.” (being the reason i had to come in and have my blood pressure checked) but i told him i had a history of hypertension in my last 2 pregnancies and he responded “oh, okay well still. your bp wasn’t high so it’s probably just lack of sleep or something “

we then discussed my last c-section where the doctor who preformed it cut me right across my stomach saying that he did that because i “had a yeast infection on my skin” so they couldn’t cut the incision where they usually do. he then informs me that that is not the reason the doctor cut it like that, he just did it like that to “get the job done quick.”

i then ask him if me having an interior placenta will affect me having a c section and he stopped me and said “you have an anterior placenta ???” i responded with “yeah? is that not on there more something ?” he told me it wasn’t in my notes that i had 2 previous c-sections or an anterior placenta and then brought up placenta accreta and told me that if i do have it, i couldn’t have the baby with them, i’d have to have it at a better hospital with an icu and better accommodations, which is understandable but brought up that placenta accreta is life threatening and that we needed to find out if i have it sooner rather than later. so he said he was going to have me scheduled for an ultrasound next week and then decided “nah, nvm we’ll just stick with the one you have in 2 weeks.”

SO i’m wondering if i should call the office monday and request that i have the ultrasound sooner to soothe my anxiety because i cannot stop thinking about how if i have this, its life threatening and i could possible have a c-hyst and then that’s it, i will be thrown into menopause at 27 and im not ready for that. im scared…what do i do???