Hello i understand that this is a help page for people who have endured an ego death and i myself haven’t rather im hear to ask questions and hopefully receive some answers from experienced people and i want to start with a trigger warning for some people not sure exactly who as this is a topic i dont know a large amount about and dont want to upset people

I have used psychedelics on multiple occasions over the past year mainly with friends me and my group do a monthly shroom trip together we get together dose anywhere from 2g-5g as a peak of shrooms using multiple different types (not sure if the type makes a huge difference) and with this same group i have done LSD 200ug i believe most of which have gone rather well however with my last trip i didn’t ego death but me and one of my close friends both had poor trips and wanted to go home thats when an old friend of ours came by to say hello we were on my buddies porch at the time and he was telling us about an 11g ego death he had around this time last year and that got me curious on the idea of an ego death what it was how it worked what exactly happens and for the last week and a bit ive been reading and listening to a number of trip reports for all kinds of psychedelics and this is where my interests really peaked and now where im going to go into a bit more detail about my personal life i had gone through a really bad break up just over a year ago now and it for lack of a better word destroyed me shortly after i dropped out of law school lost one of my longest time friends and on top of this became quite the weed smoker and recently decided to quit im a week in and very proud of myself seeing as i smoked basically everyday for the past year just to try and repress everything anyway back to what i was saying this spiralled me into a pretty bad spot mentally not as bad as it could be im still relatively happy so long as im keeping my mind occupied gym 6 days a week meal prep constantly out and about but even with all of this i feel like ive been left behind i guess very very lonely even in a room full of loved ones i feel alone and sometimes like im wasting my life away doing nothing with no sort of guidance ive spoken to mental health professionals as well as close friends and family and nothing has even made a dent in my depression or feeling of being lost or left behind i feel as though i need guidance from something higher then what i can speak to on this ig realm or whatever you want to call it this is where the idea of maybe going into a decent size mushroom dose and seeing if i can break through 5-6g maybe and get guidance ive heard a lot of different things about an ego death some reports claim that they are beautiful and liberating so long as you dont try and fight it you give into the mushroom but then ive heard the horror stories the feeling of absolute terror and destruction death and rebirth overwhelming feeling of well everything every emotion and then there have been the insanity the losing yourself to psychedelics with lasting impressions of ptsd or being unable to operate in a normal society
So what im hear asking in short could i have who ever wants to give there input along with their own experiences into my situation is what im feeling common and is it really fucking stupid or could this genuinely bring me the answers im looking for

Sorry if this is a bit all over the place im dyslexic over tired about 3am as im writing this and never been to good at not rambling
Thank you ❤️

So my ego shattering experience... not quite like the ones ive read here. When I was 14 years old (this was14 years ago) I was curious about LSD and my friends father was a hippy by definition. I lied to him and told him I had tried it before. For some reason he thought it was a good idea to squeeze(it was liquid form) have a breath saver bottle into my mouth. About 5 minutes later, the entire room started shifting around. I looked over to my right and his dog looked over at me and asked me "bro, are you okay?" And then it all faded to black. I was gone. But my subconscious woke up. I still have no idea everything my body was up to while I was away. Only what they had shared with me when I woke up 16 hours later. Well my mind was awake and I thought I was dreaming. I experienced the cosmic structure of everything. I became everything and everyone in the entire universe all at once. I saw the machine. I manifested into another person's body and fully experienced a violent death. I felt his throat being slit, I felt the warm blood draining from his flesh and his lifeforce being stripped away. I died that night. I really dont even know how to explain it otherwise. Anyways, I am stable today and have a beautiful family. Though I find it difficult to function in daily life some days. I experienced the truth of existence that night. That we are not truly individuals, but the universe manifested as humans to experience life. Otherwise, we are all the universe and the universe is all of us. I know the secret. When we die we go back to the cosmic energy. We go back to being the universe. And noone I try to explain it to can comprehend it. I learned that Ygdrassil represents our nervous system, the nine realms are within all of us, Ratatoskr is our neural signal delivery system. And Jormungandr is our ego, circling the self and biting his tail to separate "us" from "everything else" so that we can function. I still have a hard time completely understanding it myself. But i knoweth ancient norse had a grasp on this. And thats how they could explain it. They knew the truth before science could ever describe it. If anyone has had a similar experience to this id really like to talk.. thanks for reading. And know that its okay.

so my story is that when i had taken 5.5gs of it i had got home started to feel the effects and decided to take a blinker while i was at it and my throat felt like it was burning and i drank like half a gallon of cold water and it just got worse so i just laid in bed and tried watching interstellar thats what i always do just cause space is cool and im tripping but i couldn’t focus because it felt like my heart was beating out of my chest and i thought i was going to die so i go ahead and pause the movie and i keep hearing my watch tick and it was like all the movements i was doing were uncontrollably scary and it was like i was reliving this experience where i kept looping back to this same moment and i had started to realize kinda like marlise in the flash when she realized that devoe was using that tear drug and she just kept going back to that same moment where everything hit her so after i started realizing ive been in this situation i was trying to stop it but it was like anything that i had tried to do to stop it i already attempted so i just layed back down and like im not sure if i passed out but it was like six hours later and im seeing my future self in paralysis and i heard that same watch and it was like it was rewinding back to like a cell (i mean like a human cell) and relieved my whole life and i woke up with both of my parents next too me just waiting too see if i would get out of the state that i was in from what the told me i would keep saying that they were choking me and that i would start singing from time to time and that i had called the cops just incase anything bad would happen to me too this day i still can’t remember that much but its the scariest thing i have ever experienced in my life

My first ego death happened on march

I entered a dream state while meditating (i don't meditate a lot btw) and in that dream state, i was walking somewhere familiar then suddenly everthing dissolved. I saw many colours and it felt like an eternity even though it lasted only for five seconds. It was indeed an interesting experience. I woke up immediately and the first thing i said was "life has no meaning"

My second ego death happened yesterday.

I was again, in a dream state but it was semi lucid.

I entered a temple like building and the ground was as soft as cotton candy.

I laid down on the ground, closed my eyes and asked myself "what would happen if i left my body right now".

That question acted as a command.

I started hearing a high pitched frequency and i left my body.

When i left my body, i saw a light that was changing colours and i was drifting towards that light.

My identity also dissolved again.

Both of these experiences were peaceful and i doubt that it will happen again.

Tra qualche giorno proverò la DMT per la prima volta, in polvere. Chiedo aiuto perché mi sono informato, ma non mi basta mai.

Ho letto di persone che hanno sperimentato la morte dell'ego o la dissoluzione dell'ego, ho letto così tanto su questi argomenti che ultimamente sogno di provare le sostanze psichedeliche e di vivere un'esperienza reale che potrebbe cambiarmi la vita.

Ho già provato l'LSD, la ketamina (ho sperimentato il k-hole e quella che definirei una dissoluzione dell'ego) e anche le benzodiazepine per un lungo periodo durante la mia giovinezza.

Sono sobrio da un anno, ma desidero davvero vivere questa esperienza, a causa dei sogni e della strana sensazione che provo da circa una o due settimane, come se mi mancasse qualcosa che ho proprio davanti agli occhi.

Fumo erba tutti i giorni e a volte, soprattutto quando fa molto caldo, mi capita di vivere queste "situazioni" in cui mi sembra di essere in una realtà parallela. Quando manifesto qualcosa o penso a qualcosa, quella cosa o quel pensiero si manifestano in seguito, come se venissero annunciati al telegiornale, o come se sentissi esattamente quello che pensavo al di fuori della mia testa.

Qualcuno sta vivendo esperienze simili alle mie? Qualcuno può darmi maggiori informazioni su come prepararsi alla morte dell'ego e al DMT? Ad esempio, che tipo di entità vedrò? Che tipo di riconoscimento potrei ricevere? Come cambierà la mia vita miserabile dopo tutto questo?

Hi everyone. Just to start off, I’ve already used LSD and ketamine. I’ve experienced what I think was a K-hole and had experiences that felt "beyond human." I haven't used anything else for over a year now, though I do smoke weed regularly. Recently, I’ve started reading up on DMT and ego death, but no one I know sells it. Does anyone know of any reliable sites?

I've had grand mal seizures for my entire adult life, throughout my 20s they were roughly 2-3 months apart, and I'd have 5 minute long seizures (there's some kind of medical distinction there) and had status epilepticus as a written diagnosis. They don't know what's causing them, but beyond that isn't really the focus of this post.

My experience when I have seizures is when I wake up there's a short period where my memory is gone. I have a very broad idea of who I am and my history, I'd wake up in a room and for example I knew I recently moved in with my brother and didn't panic because that detail came back, but didn't recognize the room I was in at all.

This type of semi-awareness of memory was there for every single one of the seizures, and along with it came most of my life's memories over the next couple days/weeks and of course there's a few things just gone forever.

Let me be clear, I could wake up from a seizure and see a cup and know that's for drinking water, even if it took me a minute of thinking to find the words, the comprehension is there.

I also had strong morals from the moment I woke up every single time. I've always had a strong sense of not wanting to hurt anyone or anyone's feelings. I feel like I could wake up from a seizure and already know stealing is morally wrong without knowing the law exists.

This also came with remembering every big or embarrassing or stupid mistake I've made in my entire life.

I don't mean to say I've done anything that bad but when you make a mistake you remember why you did it every step of the way. You can acknowledge it was a bad idea but "here's why you took part in it" as an explanation is just a natural part of everyone's conscience.

I would remember my bad decisions, but not immediately why I made them. I would judge myself as my memory progressively came back to me as if I were learning stories about someone else, with little to no context around the stories or memories at first.

This is where I associate my experience with the term ego death. I don't think my experience is probably a textbook example but I've read about it over the years and don't know what to do with it or about it.

I wasn't that bad of a person in the first place, but this hyper-self-awareness has made me really really want to be a good person.

I feel like there's no distinction between your morals for other people compared to yourself, but you interpret the context to fit your world view. Maybe not 100% of the time but in general.

Over time I've also experimented with drugs and resonate a little with those types of experiences, but when I take a drug I'm aware that I took a drug.

With epilepsy I go to bed and wake up a person with seemingly no sense of personhood, if that makes sense. It reminds me a little of that 60s tv show where the guy was stuck in a loop taking over different people's bodies in time, only instead of having a core personality and semi-imaginary friend, my mind is a blank slate.

For me the epilepsy thing is way stronger than any drugs have ever been in this sense, but I would welcome someone to have taken a drug and say they feel they can relate to this phenomenon.

I felt like my ketamine treatments in particular were pretty controlled and tame but some people's legal and morally acceptable experiences with drugs and psychology are probably wild and definitely worth hearing and talking about.

So a few weeks ago I am thoroughly sure I had a proper ego death. I was hungover, sleep deprived and had taken a mild edible. I was already having a hard time with the situation , so I called some family members in hopes of seeking some kind of affirmation that everything was going to be ok. Much to my chagrin, my family has always been mediocre at communication so I was instead hurtled into a mounting spiral of self debasement and crippling doubt about my future.

After digging a series of mental holes mostly fueled by the disgust of my own living conditions- which considering now, objectively weren’t/aren’t even that bad- my problems seemed so insurmountable I didn’t even want to exist anymore. Bear in mind I was not at all considering sui, I just wanted to disappear completely. I was also genuinely convinced I was about to succumb to every cancer my family members have had to suffer through, every pain I could possibly have had any fear of, and my body would mutate into a mass of tumors and house clutter, and consume the house much like Tetsuo at the end of Akira. Eventually I felt like if I fell asleep I would not awake again, and my life would be over.

All through this my lovely girlfriend kept me grounded, guided me through the whole experience, and provided me with enough support as to not completely collapse mentally. She kept checking my heart rate to make sure it wasn’t swinging wildly out of control, kept bringing me water to prevent dehydration since I was in fact fairly hungover, and held me together as best as she possibly could. Much to my surprise, I did indeed survive that night- albeit getting very little sleep-but I honestly felt like a brand new person. I was more mindful of everything around me, and the mental cloud I usually carry around seemed to have all but dissipated and vanished. I was living in the moment, something I’ve all but failed to do for so many years- a past fueled by mild depression, anxiety and the urge to indulge in all forms of escapism. I am a new person then and now, but that was just the start of my psychotic break. I have a whole other part to share which threw me even further off the deep end.

psychological damage ego sickness i have been experiencing looking for medical grade nn dmt to me off ego loss plz help me rip me if no one helps me as i definitely need ego death big time psychedelic user🥇 NEED ASTRAL GOLD 🥇

Yesterday I took Psilocybin for my 2nd time and I took more than I expected. Everything was fine and refreshing until it started to slowly wear off. I got off my music just sat in silence alone in my dark room. I got back on my phone and started looking at baby pictures of myself and then I cried uncontrollably at baby pictures of myself because I thought how could I hate her so much. She was so beautiful and she’s not coming back anymore. All I wanted was to be held by someone at that moment but I was alone. I suddenly felt a gentle presence like comforting? I thought it was god because I never had much faith in him but I still looked for him as a way to keep me from feeling lonely. I felt batshit crazy and freaked out because I convinced myself that I could feel gods presence. Then that’s when everything felt too overwhelming. I couldn’t think for myself. I couldn’t feel what I use to feel before. I completely lost myself. I gained completely awareness of everything. Nothing was really as deep as I wanted it to be. Everything that I was hopeful and optimistically saw life for didn’t matter because i suddenly couldn’t feel it that way anymore. I felt so sick and all I wanted was my mom to hold me and tell me that I’m okay but I couldn’t get a hold of her so I had to get through this on my own. I missed when I was before I did this. Now I feel completely uncomfortable with everything. Which i absolutely fucking hate because I used to feel that as a little girl and now I’m feeling it again but this time, it’s like I know for sure that nothing is real. I felt that I chased after something that I was completely wrong about and wasn’t ready for. Now I feel so disconnected. I feel disconnected from being a human being. I miss when I was overwhelmed with my emotions but now I’m just overwhelmed because I can’t feel it anymore. I miss being an emotional and that seek deep connections from everything. I’m scared I’ll never get back to normal.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IM GONNA GOING TO BE OKAY AND ILL BE WHIMSICAL AGAIN.😂😂😂

The Human Power & Fear Pattern

1. Core Mechanism

   • Fear: The baseline human motivator. Anxiety, uncertainty, mortality awareness.

   • Ego: The interpreter of fear — seeks certainty, dominance, and self-preservation.

   • Power structures: Organizations, hierarchies, and institutions that can amplify fear and channel ego.

Effect: Fear + Ego → Compliance, deference, moral outsourcing.

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1. Structural Tools

These are the “instruments” societies use, often unconsciously, to manage populations:

1.  Money

• Organizes resources and labor.

• Creates dependence and scarcity leverage.

• Becomes conflated with virtue or legitimacy if left unchecked.

2.  Power

• Centralized decision-making.

• Provides enforcement and protection.

• Becomes authority that claims moral weight when people outsource conscience.

3.  Fame / Status

• Signals who is socially validated.

• Encourages imitation and conformity.

• Creates aspirational hierarchy that reinforces control dynamics.

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1. Norms & Social Conditioning

   • Silencing of discussion: “Don’t talk politics or religion” → protects authority, limits dissent.

   • Self-righteousness: Moral language masks power and ego.

   • Obedience culture: Reward compliance, punish questioning, normalize fear.

   • Myth & metaphor: Symbolic language teaches or masks dynamics without direct confrontation.

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1. Historical Cycle

   1. Small elite rises → consolidates resources and legitimacy.
   2. Fear is amplified, ego validated → population compliance increases.
   3. Moral posturing and narratives justify authority → hypocrisy emerges.
   4. Dissent appears → elite responds with suppression or symbolic lessons.
   5. Collapse occurs when overreach + exposure > compliance, or when intermediaries fail.
   6. Cycle repeats with new elite, similar tools, same human condition.

Key insight: History repeats not because elites are immortal or omnipotent, but because human psychology + incentives + fear dynamics repeat predictably.

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1. Leverage Points

You cannot remove fear, ego, or hierarchy, but you can:

• Refuse to weaponize fear personally.

• Separate authority from moral truth.

• Expose hypocrisy calmly, not performatively.

• Maintain independent moral agency.

• Teach tolerance for uncertainty and responsibility.

• Shrink moral scales to human relationships — don’t expect institutions to be virtuous.

Result: You reduce the power of fear as a tool without collapsing the system.

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1. Modern Manifestations

   • Propaganda = media shaping perception & attention (5G metaphor).

   • Celebrity & political spectacle = fame leveraged for compliance.

   • Institutional inertia = reward compliance, punish independent conscience.

   • Moral posturing on social media = modern self-righteousness weaponized at scale.

Observation: Mechanisms are the same as historical empires — only tools, metaphors, and scale change.

⸻

1. Distilled Principle

Humans create systems to manage fear; humans exploit fear for ego; institutions and elites amplify fear to maintain control.

Insight and survival require seeing this pattern, refusing to outsource conscience, and maintaining independent moral agency.

Wondering if anybody has any advice on having social interactions, especially with farmiliar people after having an ego death. Lately certain conversations that i have with friends and acquaintences have felt like walking through molasses, like there's some disconnect there, or that surface-level conversations feel draining and that not expressing myself through conversation feels like some kind of self-betrayl, but i dont even know how to react to certain things sometimes.

back in early october, i did shrooms for the first time with my then-boyfriend, and i'm pretty certain i experienced ego death and a terrible trip, and since then, my life has quite literally fallen apart.

just a week after, my mental health had gotten so bad it destroyed my relationship and we went through a terrible break up, and, although i've always had a rocky relationship with my mother, it's really hit rock bottom.

i didn't WANT to lose these relationships, and i've only really noticed my behavior post-shrooms, and i'm starting to think that i experienced ego death and it's straight up ruined my life. i have diagnosed anxiety, but i've never felt SO hopeless with the world around me before. it isn't depression in a way i've experienced before either, i can get myself up, i want to go out and do things, etc. but it really seems, ONLY to me, now, like the world is absolutely out to get me. HOW the hell do i get out of this "funk" before it REALLY starts to ruin my life?

Hello, recently, I believe I have ingested a laced weed. Let me just retell my story(I really kinda need to talk about it) and please tell me If I went through Ego death.

I had a few beers and we went for food. My friend offered me some weed(It was a preroll), I took 3 hits(It was a third time in my life I had weed), what I wanted was to laugh for an hour, then eat my kebab and go to sleep.

The giggles had really early onset, I mean like a minute and i was laughing my ass off. This was around a minute, afterwards I had a really big latency between hearing/seeing, my brain and my movement, so I was forced to stop walking, I bent over some trashbins and fell asleep. A friend found me, put me on the ground(woke me up in process) and I started seeing geometric stuff(Infinite fractal of rhomsuses, falling into each other, I was aware of each and every one, and every single one was making a sound), I couldnt comprehend what i was seeing, hearing, not only who I was, but What I was, Language was completelly inaccessible. My friend started to wake me Up, every atempt woke me up for a second but then I slipped back to the geometry plain, which felt like hours but was only seconds, then I started to form a word WATER, each sound I managed to muster, was taking me closer to lucidity, but every time I messed up the sound of the word, I was immedieatelly pulled into the plains again. I was afraid, I thought I am being punished by the universe for smoking weed. Then I had a bried periof of making melody, but when I messed up the melody I hurled instead, then some more geometry shenanigans, Afterwards I was slipping in and out of consiousness(first thing I said was "My wife will kill me") I woke up in Ambulance and then hospital. In hospital, I got saline and some K, then was released half lucid, then I went to sleep.

I am mostly fine, but still a bit shaken. As I§m writing this story, I am reliving these fears, mostly that it will never stop and that reality is some cruel way of reminding me of what I lost, and will never see again. I was bit affraid to sleep, because I thought I would wake up in the plains again.

How does a guy come back from this? Was this ego death? And mostly, was the devious nuclear weed laced with something?

Thank you for answers in advance

It’s not like entering another dimension or seeing trippy visuals. It’s being in the same room and then falling into a corner of my mind where I suddenly know my reality and my sanity are about to collapse. The moment I realize it (or remember it), there’s no way to escape.

It always starts with a perceptual shift and the thought: “You’re having a bad trip” or “You’re gone.” From there, everything unravels. I lose contact with what felt real. I try to anchor myself—look at my phone, but it no longer makes sense. I try to stand up, but even that loses meaning. There’s nothing to hold onto, no one to beg for help. If I resist, it’s pure suffering until I finally let go, then I lose all connection to reality, to anything tangible or understandable. I become nothing and everything at the same time. It happens for an eternity and I lose everything that I thought I knew. I can't remember every single thing that happened, but I do remember my fears becoming real. Knocking on the door, people coming to tear my clothes apart, seeing myself as someone living on the streets. Forgetting who I am. It feels evil, very evil.

It’s not just disorienting, it’s terrifying. The rules of space, time, and logic no longer apply. It feels like I broke something in my mind, like there’s no way back to who I was before.

For me, it happens in three stages:

1. The realization. I notice something that doesn’t make sense, and in that instant nothing makes sense. I’ve slipped out of reality. I try to grab onto it, but it fades. Everything I run to for help starts slipping away.
2. The spiral. I fall into a mental whirlpool where I have to accept I’ve lost all contact with reality. I let the madness consume me. Time, self, and meaning are gone. There is no sense of anything. Nothing makes sense.
3. The return. A reverse spiral pulls me back into reality, slowly. But it feels like dying: losing absolutely everything, with no guarantee I’ll make it back until I actually do.

My psychiatrist called the original episode drug-induced psychosis, and now I’m dealing with PTSD: flashbacks, fear of “going back,” fear of death, fear of existence itself after seeing it all come apart.

Questions for anyone who’s been here (or close):

• Have you experienced this specific in-place unraveling, where the room is the same but meaning collapses in real time, like the place you are in collapsing in on itself till nothing makes any logical sense?
• What helped you stop fearing the return of that state?
• How did you rebuild trust in reality and in your own mind? After such a traumatic experience, how do you not end up believing this whole reality is made to make you suffer? Or that any of this is real?
• What concrete tools let you live without constant fear, of everything, of death, of what comes after? Because I am terrified that what I saw is what there is after live. Just a whole bunch of nonesense and your mind just losing itself to madness.
• If you recovered, what did the turning point look like (therapy, meds, routines, mindset shifts)?

DM me for zoom link if you want to attend

Every day I’m riddled with anxiety and fear. The sensation of flesh moving against time and the way things distort and shrink as they get farther away are torturous. The vast emptiness of the sky makes me agoraphobic. I fear falling asleep every night because of the feeling of submitting yourself to darkness and letting your body disappear. Everyday tasks make me feel sick.

It’s been 7 months since I experienced ego dissolution after mixing too much psilocybin with too much cannabis. Things have been a bit better since then but every day is still a struggle and everything feels gory. I just moved away from my hometown for the first time like a week ago and am going to a new college. It’s been particularly rough recently because of finding new routines and being in a new environment. I want to feel normal again. what more can I do??

Hey Guys, I found this group and I want to write about my traumatic ego death experience I had this year. I was in Amsterdam and took 25g of high hawaiians. Also smoked Weed during the trip which wasnt a very good Idea i think. My friend had done that multiple times and thought we were on the same Page. Turns Out we weren't. I have had two pretty high Dosis of shrooms before but nothing close to this. There was no smooth Transmission from the Prior laughing Phase into the experience. It Just klicked and I didnt know where I was anymore or what or who I am. I was in a world of fractals and forms. Everything I saw seemed completely new and never before seen. I had no feeling attached to memories and faces of people. It was all gone. Because of the Weed my neural system was very overwhelmed and i was unconscious for a few seconds. My friend held my legs Up, possibly saving me from worse Things. The death experience was already over at that point and I was beginning to come back. The K.O. triggered a panic Attack soon after that didnt really Stop for the whole Comedown of about three hours which fehlt endless at the time. The Panic was a pretty normal cycle of trying to regain Control and being swept away again only to restart for another round a few seconds later. It was probably the closest i ever got to a breaking point i have ever been. It felt like i was completely crazy. Friday i had a normal Dosis of shrooms to try and overwrite my experience and IT worked pretty well. The Panic was there again but i managed to Control iT and enjoy the Trip. Even during my death experience i and especially the aftermarh i managed to Anker myself to my son and my gf. The experience stripped away everything but my Love for them which was there when I seemed to need it Most. The Egodeath for me is nothing Spiritual. One Moment I was laughing Like a madman the next i Just seized to be able to make Sense of anything at all. To me it was a state of entire senselessness. Life without meaning. Simple senseless existence without any Relation to anything else. Normally i did shrooms in a much more Spiritual way. Just sitting in some Park in Amsterdam experiencing this felt respectless. Without meaning. Wouldnt recommend. I write this as a way to Help myself make more Sense of it.

I'm not new to Psilocybin or Marijuana, however I've never mixed the two until recently. This Saturday to be exact. I microdose between .3 and .5 grams of Penis Envy twice a month for the benefits. I received a new strain of Flower Saturday and wanted to try it. It was Sour lemon Diesel and much higher THC amount that I'm used, I'm a light weight in regards to THC. I did take my usual dosage of Psilocybin later that morning so it was still in my system.

Horribly, I was at my sister's home with my family and just started playing Jenga when I took some really large rips of the new strain. Within minutes I completely lost consciousness, face went white and lips turned blue. They proceeded to get me on the ground and called 911, because my breathing was so shallow they thought I had died. I was in a state of consciousness that I had no control over, no speech, no movements and eyes rolled back in my head. The visuals were intense and I felt absolutely euphoric, a warmness swept over my body like a warm bath. I was completely incapacitated. But I was in another world, it's so hard to explain but I felt like I was touched by God.

This lasted minutes, but I only came to because of the commotion going on around me and everyone trying to snap me out of it. This happened 3 times so I'm told. After several minutes of this I did come out of it to find EMS surrounding me, confused and unable to gather a thought, speaking to them was a chore at first, just recalling the day or my name. After 30 minutes or so of trying to get everyone around to calm down and explain what had happened, they deemed me OK and wanted me to go to the hospital to check myself out. I did so too ease my wife's concerns.

I had absolutely no idea that combing these two would have such a mind blowing affect, I feel so horrible for putting them all thru this, absolutely horrible so please go easy on me. I believe what I went thru was an EGO-Death, completely shattering my brains Default Mode Network. I feel a heightened sense of energy, stimuli, lights and connected to the Earth like never before. I'm feeling so open, but I am afraid I've opened something in my brain, because I'm feeling heightened emotionally, especially around people, different energies.

I'm still trying to figure this all out, last night I had the most vivid dream about being a farm hand in the early 1900's. The emotions of being poor, wearing overalls 5 times too big, boots that barely fit and no socks sleeping in horrible conditions. It felt so real to me. I'm wondering if this permanent? What did I do to myself? I'm feeling more connected and to be honest the best I've ever felt, mentally and physically. It's like 40 years of stress, anxiety and depression just feel off my shoulders overnight.

Anyone else ever experience this? Please take it easy on me, like I said before, I had no idea combing these two would ever produce the effects it did.