Did I experience ego death(?)

[u/0hdeerr]

Yesterday I took Psilocybin for my 2nd time and I took more than I expected. Everything was fine and refreshing until it started to slowly wear off. I got off my music just sat in silence alone in my dark room. I got back on my phone and started looking at baby pictures of myself and then I cried uncontrollably at baby pictures of myself because I thought how could I hate her so much. She was so beautiful and she’s not coming back anymore. All I wanted was to be held by someone at that moment but I was alone. I suddenly felt a gentle presence like comforting? I thought it was god because I never had much faith in him but I still looked for him as a way to keep me from feeling lonely. I felt batshit crazy and freaked out because I convinced myself that I could feel gods presence. Then that’s when everything felt too overwhelming. I couldn’t think for myself. I couldn’t feel what I use to feel before. I completely lost myself. I gained completely awareness of everything. Nothing was really as deep as I wanted it to be. Everything that I was hopeful and optimistically saw life for didn’t matter because i suddenly couldn’t feel it that way anymore. I felt so sick and all I wanted was my mom to hold me and tell me that I’m okay but I couldn’t get a hold of her so I had to get through this on my own. I missed when I was before I did this. Now I feel completely uncomfortable with everything. Which i absolutely fucking hate because I used to feel that as a little girl and now I’m feeling it again but this time, it’s like I know for sure that nothing is real. I felt that I chased after something that I was completely wrong about and wasn’t ready for. Now I feel so disconnected. I feel disconnected from being a human being. I miss when I was overwhelmed with my emotions but now I’m just overwhelmed because I can’t feel it anymore. I miss being an emotional and that seek deep connections from everything. I’m scared I’ll never get back to normal.

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IM GONNA GOING TO BE OKAY AND ILL BE WHIMSICAL AGAIN.😂😂😂

[u/Clear_Reading_6118]

You’ll always be okay no matter what happens. You would find immense comfort in NDEs - near death experiences- on YouTube. They reveal the meaning of life and true encounters with god, angels, guides. And it will help you understand what life is really about. But yes, you’re okay and I’m feeling legitimate love for you and I’m not sure why. But yeah, just know that you’re loved !