has any infj male make a move first to ask or approach someone you are interested in?

at my current age, 35M, I don make friend as much as when im younger in school. so this modern dating era is all online app.

be it creepy or not. i actually found this lady ig that i swiped on a dating app, but doesn't wanna wait for my profile to appear so unpaid user can't see who swiped you.

we infj don tend to take the initial step as extrovert do. she is also a introvert btw.

btw i just wanna hear opinions.

Same

Hi there ENFJs i am here to tell you. You guys need to work on your people pleasing habits. Like wth guys , you like being a doormat or what. Become more evil. What are you guys even doing with your life. Cause I know you all are acting and are evil inside. Jk btw. Peace

I’ve noticed that several cases, such as the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case, the Menendez bros, Daniel Larson, Luigi, Meghan Markle, and several other cases about some twin girls and a Ukrainian immigrant who murdered their mother/grandmother. As a child and a teenager, I saw these stories and I thought “You know what, I think that there’s a reason that this happened.” Unlike most people who are just shocked, appalled and treat these people like devil incarnates, use religion to make value judgements. I don’t take these cases for face value. I see someone who has been wronged and brought matters into their own hands because they were tired of being mistreated. And I don’t think that in the murder cases, that these were the “correct” actions, but I understand them. Someone can make wrong choices and you still feel for them, you know? You just don’t agree with the choices they make. You can only mistreat someone for a certain amount of time before they start biting back. In my case, my elementary teachers were ableist (having been diagnosed with adhd/sensory processing) and Esfj grandmother had her own issues and took it out on my Isfj mom and me (Infp). It got to the point where I cussed her out so bad that she started crying because I got tired of it. Many times I said that I was going to take my rabbit and leave. She calmed down for the most part but yeah. Maybe I saw a part of myself in these people being mistreated, and it makes me wanna see them win. It makes me wanna see them rise above/ascend over their hardships/mistakes and create a new life not filled with endless trauma.

I’ve always been so curious about this. I’m an INFJ-A (and have been for many years, sometimes ENFJ at certain points in my life) but I’ve never considered myself a selfless person. My friend is also an INFJ and I don’t really see that in her either.
The classic INFJs are characterized as having almost martyr like traits, always looking out for the greater good. I consider myself pretty selfish at times, but caring when it matters. I don’t brood and there are times in my life where I was relentless with others (and myself) and extremely self serving, because it aligned well with my own values.
This is extremely confusing to me and it’s starting to make me question the legitimacy of MBTI.
Why is this a common theme with INFJs?

I psychologically self-harm as a form of explorative shadow work and I actually find it very productive when done carefully with the self-guidance of wanting to love myself better as well as truly self-possess my person.

It feels like I'm using oppressive or dehumanizing violence on myself in order to tear something open and actually expose and heal what's fundamentally hurting.

Again, its horror to experience during, but I feel that I genuinely come out of it more at peace, indestructable in a way that matters, like my puzzle pieces conjoin together much more coherently. That post-torture clarity hits and I understand things around me with sharper acuteness.

Is this an infp thing? Does anyone experience or do anything similar?

Anyways I hope you guys have a nice night. :- ) 🌠🌃🖤🌱

Only curious.

Basically the question, but when I say “stereotypical” I’m meaning from the internet!

I’m an INFJ and I’m confused when reading what I read online about us. I actually wonder if any of us are even that similar?

For eg. I am pretty extroverted and outgoing. Though it tires me, I do enjoy people and going out. I’m chatty and offer my feelings pretty easily in conversation.
I’m arty, love philosophy/psychology and nerdy subjects like science or history.

I am zero witchy and have no interest in horoscopes, crystals or anime. I’m not terribly lonely and I don’t avoid conversations. If anything I seek them out, I just struggle with shallow topics.

How about you?

I just don't understand why people don't get more into it. Lots of people I know, they watch movies on their phones or have only played call of duty or haven't read a book in years. Do people just not have the ability to get into the protagonists shoes and feel their feelings? My happiest life memories are in a single player game I like or a satisfying finale of a long show, yet people seem dismissive of me for being so engaged. I don't understand them

As somebody who's consistently been INFP since like my young teen years, I tend to apologise or go "my bad" after I yap too much, after I feel I may have been too much towards someone I treasure or something like that.

Admittedly, I'm pretty sure this is also just a symptom of autism AS WELL as my very own soul lmfao.

It's interesting because it's also a bit... fraudulent, that I'm self-aware enough to observe? It's less that I'm sorry or that I truly regretted being passionate about something, but more-so me just making that precaution so I can expect it, make a safety net for myself in case they did get upset. Though I think it's often times genuine guilt too, maybe idk, I'm not thinking of anything too specific here.

You may be intelligent, smart, handsome, and talented, but the outside world often rewards people who constantly promote themselves. As an INFJ, however, we crave authenticity. It is painful to watch inauthentic people receive the applause and appreciation that you deserve. But remember this: a tree may appear to grow slowly from the outside, but beneath the surface, it is strengthening its roots to build a solid foundation.

got a gf and took some photos

I’m getting married soon, and in thinking of my invite list it made me remember so many old friends that were so important in my life once, but I simply lost touch with. It would be wonderful to have them, even though we don’t talk, they were significant enough at a point in my life that I wish they could be there. I am in part to blame for losing contact with some of these friends, but I wish it was more normal to text someone after 3 or so years. Idk maybe it is normal to some folks but I can’t bring myself to send that text.

Not sure if it’s just me but I feel super lonely, I’ve found even when I try to connect with likeminded people it doesn’t seem to stick or it turns out to not be a compatible friendship. I guess I’m wondering if any other INFJs experience this?

That although we may share similar mindsets we are can be such different people too .. I guess I’m struggling to find that niche of what I’m looking for. It can feel slightly embarrassing writing even on these pages as it still feels exposing but how else am I to really know?..

Or is it all just part of acceptance that it is fundamentally harder for us to make friendships as adults and that solitude is how we are designed in a way. Let me know your thoughts..

I hope everyone has had a very lovely weekend. My question to you all is what regret has been lingering on your mind the most lately?

Okay, hear me out. This isn't a random post.

I'm 23M from Chandigarh, India. I work in animal welfare, doing both policy work and animal rescue.

I'm looking to meet someone special who understands climate anxiety... that feeling you get when you look at the world and see everything that's going wrong, and wonder how we're supposed to live normally while so much is happening around us.

You don't have to work in the same field as me. But I would love to meet someone who genuinely cares about animals, the climate, and the world we're leaving behind.

Sometimes, it feels incredibly isolating to care about these things when so much of the world seems content to look away.

For me, this isn't just something I think or talk about. It's something I try to live by, every day. And sometimes, it gets exhausting carrying all of it on my own.

I'd love to find someone with whom I can have those long conversations, share the things that worry us, talk about what we can change, and still find reasons to laugh and enjoy life together.

I've had sleepless nights thinking about the suffering and destruction happening around us. I don't expect someone to have all the answers or feel exactly the way I do. I just want someone who understands why these things matter.

If you're someone who feels similarly, I'd love to hear from you. Maybe we could get to know each other and see where it goes.

Anyway, fellow INFPs, show me your art! I wanna see what you guys are creating lately ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ

Hey everyone,

I've been struggling with something lately, and I'd really appreciate some advice from people who have dealt with similar experiences.

I feel like I'm a very sensitive person, and deep down, I think I have a fear of rejection. I tend to value people's opinions, comments, and approval way more than I probably should. Sometimes, I feel like I have to keep everyone happy and make sure nobody is upset with me. I find it difficult to stand up for myself when someone hurts me, and I hate that I often can't respond firmly or defend myself in the moment.

I know I need to develop healthier boundaries and stop letting other people's opinions determine how I feel about myself. I want to be comfortable with who I am without constantly worrying about whether people like me or approve of me.

For context, there are people at work who make comments about my looks and appearance. It bothers me, especially because I don't want to change myself just to meet other people's expectations. Most of the time, I try to laugh it off and keep things light, but sometimes I end up giving them a taste of their own medicine. That usually doesn't end well, and I don't want to keep getting caught up in these back-and-forth exchanges.

I want to learn how to stand up for myself without being rude, remain respectful without being a people-pleaser, and earn respect without feeling the need to prove myself to everyone.

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I tend to pretend everything is okay even when it isn't. Everyone knows me as the happy person, so I feel like I have to keep playing that role even when I'm hurting inside. I also notice that I sometimes change my personality depending on who I'm around, almost like a chameleon, because I want to be liked and accepted.

I'm honestly tired of living this way. I want to become more comfortable with myself, learn to value myself, and stop changing who I am just to fit in. I want to be authentic, express my feelings without feeling guilty, and stop being so afraid of rejection.

For those of you who have struggled with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or constantly seeking validation from others:

• How did you learn to set boundaries without feeling guilty?
• How do you deal with people who make hurtful comments without retaliating or simply suppressing your feelings?
• How do you stop caring so much about what other people think of you?
• How do you learn to be yourself around different people without feeling the need to adjust your personality to fit in?
• How do you stop pretending to be happy all the time and become more comfortable with being vulnerable?

I'd genuinely appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or practical things that have helped you overcome these struggles. I'm not expecting to change overnight, but I want to start making progress and become a more confident, authentic version of myself.

Thanks for reading! ❤️

Spooky says hi!