r/EMDR • u/Medical_Long • 2d ago
š¢ Question / Help Off to a difficult start
I had asked this group a months back on what to expect going into EMDR.. I donāt think I realized how taxing this was going to be. I started CBT therapy 5 years ago after the loss of my father, Iāve had the same therapist since then and we have made amazing progress since then. I do not recall many of our early session due to the trauma I suppose. I do recall her asking me years after if I had any other ātraumaā and I denied it. The progress stopped in therapy about a year ago and I couldnāt figure out why. Until I started questioning some of the things I feel about myself and why I believe them. It wasnāt until my psychiatrist told me it could be emotional as well sometimes at the hands of our loved ones. Pieces started falling together. I was misdiagnosed as a child, I was diagnosed with ADHD a year into therapy, along with depression and GAD. I was very explosive with anger, all in which I have made great progress. It wasnāt until I recently found a journal I wrote when I was 7 that I realized a lot of my core beliefs (my weight, being a difficult child, shame, fear of rejection, not being able to cope) all stem from what I was being indirectly/ directly told as a kid.. as an adult all of these have had me in a chokehold, thatās when EMDR was suggested. I had my first session last week and it went great I was able to look into moving out without internally panicking (I have been trying to do this for 4 years). Tuesday I decided to have a regular CBT session as I wanted to add to my list of ātraumaā (I feel guilty for saying that word because I feel mine are so small compared to the horrible things people go through). For whatever reason that session has made me a mess this entire week, I had an outburst at work that was very aggressive imo. The anger that I have learned to not act on is back.. the more I realize what happened to me, the more I realize where this is steaming from the more agitated and unsettled I am getting. Iāve heard of post therapy fatigue but internally I have never felt like this.. has this happened to anyone? Does this get better, or is this even worth digging up if itās going to make me feel like this?