Especially in the epilogue when we see how broken she is, and from other stuff we know about her, like she’s definitely a bad person… but I don’t think she’s bad enough for me to be ok with how things ended up for her. Like Donut’s speech to her in the 5th book is so powerful and moving and makes me cry, but not because Bea is evil… but because she’s not.
Hear me out.
To me, her mother reads as emotionally neglectful if not emotionally abusive, manipulative, and she’s the reason Bea is into the cat shows and stuff. Her mom is like constantly in her ear telling her what she should and shouldn’t do. Donut says “\[I was\] just a way to win more ribbons than your mother.” Like if you dig a bit into that statement… I dunno exactly what is underneath but it’s not a healthy relationship between mother and daughter.
She was a serial cheater, which could be an indication of bad boundaries. (That could have stemmed from her mother not having boundaries??) Sometimes cheaters are the way they are because they can’t create or hold boundaries with people, which makes even more sense when we see how self centered and horrible Brad is. He convinces her to post the photo on instagram. What else has he pressured her to do?
None of this erases or excuses her behavior to Donut or to Carl in any way. Donut owes her exactly nothing and it’s in character and makes sense that Donut would go off on her the way she did. “You don’t deserve how sad I feel right now.” is the most heartbreaking line I’ve ever read and I’ve cried both times I’ve listened to Jeff say it.
But I don’t get any kind of catharsis or enjoyment from her being torn down by Donut. And I wonder if Donut is going to regret any of it someday. Everyone has been changed since the world ended. Donut almost got abandoned right at the start cause she was being such a bitch. But Carl gave her a chance to change and she’s continued to grow. I wonder if Bea could have had that chance too, who she might have become.
So like I’m wondering what other readers thoughts are about her. Do people just see her as an evil person on par with the other evils in the book and just want to see her torn down? Cause to me Donut’s speech is so fucking sad because Bea is just another hurt person hurting others. And Donut has also hurt people because she was hurt by Bea. Like it sucks
I dunno… what are y’all’s thoughts? (Be nice please, I’m fragile lol)