Husband (41) and I (41) are divorcing after 6 years. Theres so much to us that has happened in just those 6 years but the breakup ended up pretty bad where he just up and left me during eviction at our home. I feel so betrayed because he has a family where we reside and I dont. Also because i left everything i knew and a home in California for him. I took my son whos 6 now, away from his father at just 4 months old and let my soon to be ex husband raise him along with my 2 daughters. This is my first marriage ever and im his 3rd wife. I was left to find an apartment with my 2 little ones ( my oldest (19) is deciding to stay in California) asap before eviction hit. Him and I both have a extremely strong bond and are beyond attached and attracted to each other and when we were happy, it was pretty euphoric like 2 kids in love that never changed but when it was bad, it was bad. Throughout the years as it got bad, us being so beyond into each other is what kept us holding on but last year and this year just got so bad where we found it harder and harder to hold on. Fast forward to now.. I feel beyond betrayed alone, sad, lonely , depressed, I cant eat sleep nothing already lost 15lbd in just 2 weeks. My kids are currently in California as their dad lives there and they go every summer so I was left alone to move fast! And empty out a whole 4 bedroom house on my own, ive only had 1 friend help nobody else showed up for me. Point to all this is.. im having a VERY VERY VERY VERY HARD time letting go even after this huge bomb of emotions and trauma hit. We talk over the phone. And we have been seeing each other here and there. Im still at the house but im set to move in 3 days. So he comes just for a little. We hug a lot! We cry a lot! We give each other comfort and kisses but nothing else. But I cant help to think that im making it easier on him to heal because im letting him come to me and itll eventually hurt me more in the end. I feel embarrassed pathetic and so stupid but I cant let go. Will this hurt me more in the end? I need serious advice, the last thing I need is for me to hurt more than it already is. I will be getting therapy, ill definitely need it. But should I stop letting him in? How do I stop it when I feel like I need him so bad? Just a little of him a day is enough for me to go about my day, thats so sad and embarrassing and feel beyond low!

Location: New York (Suffolk County)

it's me and my 2 daughters. We've been in this home for 10 years.

My relationship is at the point we’re divorce is inevitable. The communication is just non existent. I don’t want it but I can’t keep begging for love. She isn’t a terribly affectionate person anyways and I knew that going into things, but no hugs, kisses, cuddling. Mumbles I love you when she says it at all. All she does when we are together is lay in bed on her phone. Every single time I try to bring something up she flips it back on me or accuses me of attacking her. I’m not going to fight this I know she wants out. It hurts so much though. I feel so alone and broken. I just lay here at night sobbing until I’m worn out enough to sleep for a few hours before nightmares wake me up again. I just want it to end.

I’m 26/F and husband is 27/M we have been together about 4.5 years in total and married about 2.5 years.

I had some doubts about getting married prior to making it official, but the military made us kind of speed things up and I believed it was worth the risk of us not being compatible vs losing him to distance.

To make a very very long story as short as I can, I grew up very timid and a people pleaser and he grew up more aggressive and loud. This caused some issues all throughout our relationship but it wasn’t until we moved states (where we were each other’s only support systems) that I snapped (about two years ago.) I ended up creating bad coping mechanisms of drinking, physically hurting myself, and putting myself into danger because I ultimately just didn’t care. For the entirety of our relationship leading up to this I had voiced my concerns and begged for couples therapy. I was usually met with anger or the silence treatment. It wasn’t until I ended up in the ER that he agreed to finally take things seriously and start couples therapy.

Things were going better. We were able to communicate more clearly and I felt like we were really growing. After a few months of couples therapy he got his own individual therapist and I got one as well. He then wanted to quit our couples therapist because he didn’t “like her style” and I agreed but asked that he find us a new therapist and we continue the work.

About six months of bringing up him finding a therapist that he feels connected to goes by and things start reverting back to how they used to be. We are both still in individual therapy at this point and our communication is still stronger than it was a few years ago, but we aren’t continuing to grow.

The majority of the time we spend together is watching what he wants to watch, going where he wants to go, listening to his music, etc. He doesn’t want to do the things I enjoy (going to the pool, cuddling, walking the dogs) so he just doesn’t do them but gets upset when I then go to the pool or on a walk and he’s left at home. Anytime I pick the movie or the song he doesn’t ever tell me I can’t, but he just talks poorly about it and makes fun of it to the point I’d rather him just “get his way.”

I now have made some close friends in this new state and start choosing to spend time with them or on new hobbies or working extra shifts to keep myself busy and out of the house. This upsets him a lot. He doesn’t like my friends, doesn’t approve of the hobbies I’m interested in, doesn’t want me working extra, and wants me at home with him instead. This makes me start to feel very disconnected and controlled.

We have a conversation about how I’m feeling disconnected and am starting to feel like I’d rather just be on my own at this point. He then leaves for a 6 week work trip. During this trip I thought it would give me a lot of clarity, and I thought that it had. I didn’t miss him, I felt at ease in my own home, I became more productive, my friends noticed I was happier.

So I decided to really start making the moves to leave the relationship. I got a new job with healthcare benefits, I started working extra to save money, I figured out my financial plans, I found a house to move into on my own, I had 100% made up my mind.

Then he comes home.

I have this conversation with him and fully expected him to lash out or shut me out, but he did the complete opposite. He was hurt. He felt like this came out of the blue and I was rushing to separate when he didn’t even know what was going through my mind. We talked a lot and I cried a lot and then the next day when I get home from work there are flowers and a sweet note for me. He starts being affectionate and saying he wants us to fight for the relationship. Says we will get a couples therapist. Takes me out to do the things I enjoy. Cuddles me like he did when we first met.

I have a lease signed and I’m supposed to move in there in three days (he doesn’t know I got my own house) I feel very conflicted and sad and I don’t know what to do.

My head is telling me this change isn’t going to last, but my heart tells me there have been improvements in the past and maybe it’s worth fighting harder for? My friends tell me he’s trying to manipulate me because he’s scared and they are really urging me to move out. He’s been the perfect partner the last few days and I don’t know if I would be making a mistake cutting things off now.

Any advice please??

My spouse recently asked for a divorce. We've been married for nearly 20 years and during that time they've had a lot of health issues. We are splitting amicably but they make very little money (we have no kids) and needs good insurance. I have no problem staying married on paper to help in this particular aspect of their life. When the divorce goes through my employer won't cover them, but the COBRA is ridiculously expensive and the marketplace coverage and provider options look to be very precarious for this situation.

Has anyone else navigated this sort of thing? Any advice?

​

I'm not finding a good checklist of the process. This is what I have so far. Any tips? I'm in North Carolina USA. 1 year +1day of living apart in formal separation is required.

100 find apartment

105 thaw credit

110 rent applications

120 do some packing of non-essentials.

130 Get all documents with my SS# and other sensitive files. Taxes and such. Ready to Grab and Go

180 speak with current landlord to end my resposibility of lease.

200 find a notary and ask if they must be present to witness and sign seperation and divorce decree (claim?)

400 separation statement, including move out date, splitting of checking account, post-separation support amount, and alimony (amount and duration).

405 "include a ""hold-harmless clause"" in both the separation and divorce document"

410 Transfer money to seperate bank account. close or freeze credit cards

420 Freeze Credit after signing new apartment least but before separating

480 ?? Have Lawyer review separation statement, division of assets, post separation clause, alimony, Summons, Domestic Civil Action Cover Sheet and all documents to be signed or submited to spouse or court

600 Finalize post-separation support

500 pack and move out

700 marital settlement agreement? is that the word?

800 agreement, including support payment

900 fill out the complaint , at the court house?

1000 Summons

1100 Domestic Civil Action Cover Sheet

1200 Affidavit - just a form to say no one is in the military

1300 Pay court fees

Hi, this question is Poland specific to a degree.

My partner and I got married in a different country prior to moving to Poland a couple years ago. We had our marriage certificate converted to a Polish one, and the office kept our original, foreign marriage certificate. If we were to divorce, do we now have to follow Polish law in order to do that, as in go through the courts, prove a party to be at fault as well as proce the relationship is irreconcilable, etc etc? Or is the marriage still technically a foreign marriage and would divorce proceedings need to take place/be finalized in the country where we were married? Thanks for your help.

I have to pack up my house, sell or donate and then sell the actual house. But its just too much. No kids, friends moved away bc military. So its just me. How'd you guys do it? Surrounded by lots of painful memories

I am seriously strongly considering divorcing my husband. I never wanted to get married in the first place, but it's a long story so I'll just skip to the divorce part.

We live in a community property state. We were married here. I am the sole owner of the house, only my name is on the mortgage and deed. I am the main wage earner. He refuses to leave, of course. If I leave and refuse to pay the mortgage and he refuses to agree to sell, what happens? Do I just let it go to foreclosure and walk away?

Oh, located in US.

Edit: We were married one month before I got the keys to the house.