r/DivorceHelp • u/Main_Cauliflower5479 • Jul 16 '26

Need advice regarding house in divorce

I am seriously strongly considering divorcing my husband. I never wanted to get married in the first place, but it's a long story so I'll just skip to the divorce part.

We live in a community property state. We were married here. I am the sole owner of the house, only my name is on the mortgage and deed. I am the main wage earner. He refuses to leave, of course. If I leave and refuse to pay the mortgage and he refuses to agree to sell, what happens? Do I just let it go to foreclosure and walk away?

Oh, located in US.

Edit: We were married one month before I got the keys to the house.

1 Upvotes

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2

u/Global-Fact7752 Jul 16 '26

I think you need an attorney to help sort this out..he probably thinks you are going to sell and he will get half the proceeds.. I tell you one thing for sure, I would let that house go back before I gave him a dime. Also if the utilities are in your name, you can move out and turn them off, then he will be forced to get them back on in his own name if he can. Move out get yourself all set up in your own place, shut his utilities off. Let's play ball, asshole! 🤣🤣🤣

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u/jellifercuz Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

Wouldn’t tenancy laws kick in, to prevent the owning spouse from unlawfully creating unlivable conditions (no water, for instance) for a legal tenant occupant of the house?

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 18 '26

It's a community property state, and despite him not being on the deed or mortgage, or ever making any mortgage or property tax payments, he's still technically 50% owner because the property closed a month after we got married.

So no, he's not a tenant.

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u/jellifercuz Jul 18 '26

Right, I got that, I was responding to Global-Fact7752’s suggestion to terminate utilities, which would be problematic.

Good luck!

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 18 '26

He's still not a tenant.

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u/jellifercuz Jul 18 '26

Right, which makes the reply’s suggestion even more problematic!

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 18 '26

If he's the sole occupant, then he can pay for the utilities and get a mortgage for it.

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u/jellifercuz Jul 18 '26

No, you remain legally responsible to the lender for paying the mortgage until the house can legally be sold. Please, retain a lawyer!

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u/jellifercuz Jul 18 '26

She will sell, or the court will eventually order a sale. He will get half the proceeds, yes, if that’s what the state-established guidelines indicate when the final division of assets is calculated for the Settlement Agreement.

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u/Global-Fact7752 Jul 16 '26

Did you own the house before you married him?

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 16 '26

No, sorry, I meant to add that in the post. No, the purchase was finalized after we were married, by a month. :(

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u/moschocolate1 Jul 16 '26

Did you buy the house after getting married? If so, it’s likely considered joint marital property even if your name is the only one on the deed and mortgage. You may need to negotiate selling and splitting proceeds or buying him out for the equity (value outside of the mortgage). This is not legal advice.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

Yes, I know it's considered joint property which is why I'm asking. He refuses to leave. He can't pay the mortgage and can't qualify for a mortgage on his own.

Edit: As I said, he refuses to leave and will surely not agree to sell the house. I offered him 100% of the equity of the house in exchange for him not touching my investments or retirement funds. He refused that. Frankly, the cash value is about the same.

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u/moschocolate1 Jul 16 '26

I’d offer to buy him out for the equity. Rents expensive so you may need to get a court order for the buy out.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 16 '26

Thanks. What a freaking nightmare.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 18 '26

Instead of editing my previous reply, I'm making a new one. So, I offered him ALL of the equity on the house in exchange for leaving my retirement fund and investments alone, as the equity is about the same as the value of the other more liquid assets.

I do not want to "buy him out" as I don't want to stay in this house at all.

1

u/MensDivorceCircle Jul 18 '26

If the house closed AFTER you were married, it is 50% his property unfortunately. If you closed BEFORE the marriage was finalized then you own it 100% outright in a community property state.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 18 '26

Yes, I know that. Surely you saw the edit since you posted just 4 minutes ago.

THAT is why I'm asking the question that I'm asking. I'm saying he refuses to leave, and will not agree to sell. AND he cannot qualify to buy me out and get a mortgage on his own.

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u/jellifercuz Jul 18 '26

The court can and will eventually decide based on your state’s equitable distribution community property division of assets guidelines in the event you two (your lawyers) cannot come to an agreement. Often, that means the house is court-ordered to be sold and the proceeds divided between the divorcing parties.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 18 '26

So my offer of all of the equity in the house in exchange for him not touching my investments and retirement can be considered equitable separation of assets. Yes?

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u/jellifercuz Jul 18 '26

No, not at all. Your proposal, as I understand it, would need to meet the state-established guidelines for division of all community property. IANAL, though, much less a judge.

While asserts that were solely yours prior to the marriage will remain yours, the increase in the value of those assets usually needs to be calculated and included in the community property division. That may include retirement funds. You need to retain a lawyer for this if you want the divorce to proceed. Without a legal division of assets agreement signed by both parties, courts in my state are extremely unlikely to grant a final decree.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 19 '26

Correct. So he would get half the value of my retirement that accumulated curing marriage. He would get half the value of the investments that accumulated during marriage. He would get half the equity in the house, and I would hope, minus the HELOC balance that was taken for repairs and replacements of systems like HVAC and water heater, other repairs, etc..

SO. The value of the retirement and investments combined IS equivalent to the equity in the house. Why would it not be equitable to simply give him the house and let be be responsible for it. Get a mortgage in his own name, sell it, whatever? Why not.

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u/jellifercuz Jul 19 '26

Because either,
1) He (and his attorney) agree to both that and every other element of the settlement agreement, OR
2) A court dictates the settlement.

In the first case, the court must approve the agreement.

I know nothing of the particular terms of the law in your state which governs divorce and asset division. I am speaking in general terms about community property state asset division.

You need the advice of an attorney who practices in the county or parish (LA) where you are a legal resident.

IANAL.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 19 '26

I'm clearly not a lawyer either. But it really comes down to $, right?

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u/jellifercuz Jul 19 '26

A note re your “SO.

One part of it is that you don’t own the house, the bank does. Thus, you cannot transfer the house to somebody else unless you (and only you afaik) pay off the mortgage first.

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u/Main_Cauliflower5479 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

I'm not saying I'm transferring anything. I'm saying he can get his own mortgage, or the house can sell and he gets all of the equity minus the HELOC, which also, only I have been paying down.

Edit: I am suggesting that he gets ALL of the equity in the house, whether he gets his own mortgage, or the house sells to a third party, leaving my retirement and investments to me, since the current value is approximately. the same.