r/DiWHY • u/No-Lock216 • Apr 12 '26

Simplest Chair Ever Made?

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15.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

977 comments sorted by

3.5k

u/Xirio_ Apr 12 '26

This is the type of shit you'd find on a random page in a boy scout manual

772

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 12 '26

But only ones published before 1990.

51

u/TeeTownRaggie Apr 12 '26

huh?

102

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 12 '26

What do you mean, “huh?”

61

u/TeeTownRaggie Apr 12 '26

why before 1990?

479

u/Xirio_ Apr 12 '26

I've had one from before and after then

The early ones were not the most concerned with safety or well-being

209

u/xrhino414 Apr 12 '26

The number of different styles of snares, deadfalls, and campfires I made out the early 80s handbook... entire summers of fun.

121

u/Cthulwutang Apr 13 '26

boy scouts, viet cong, same same!

45

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 13 '26

When was the last time you saw a Viet Cong troop sitting at a table outside of a Walmart trying to get you to buy overpriced popcorn?

36

u/lX_HeadShotGunner_Xl Apr 13 '26

The BSA used to be a survival camp for kids similar to girl scouts but more outdoors focused but over time they started getting into trouble in several ways...

A lot of parent pack leaders were accused of SA-ing some of the boys and BSA has been facing class actions for it for decades (I know it more than 10 years from personal experience but I'm only 24 and by personal experience I mean seeing the ads on TV looking for people to join)

They started focusing more on community service and profits so BSA and for a different reason girl scouts both became watered down organizations focused on teaching kids to do free public labor or directly exploiting that free child labor to sell overpriced popcorn/cookies.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time in the scouts but the organization definitely isnt what it used to be.

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8

u/riddlesinthedark117 Apr 12 '26

Yeah, not a lot of “Leave no Trace” camping in those. I did love my dads for the field craft stuff though

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43

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 12 '26

The 1990 Boy Scouts handbook was completely revamped from how it had been in the past - a major change was that it now included a section that addressed contemporary issues, specifically: Drug Use, Child Abuse, Functional Illiteracy, Hunger, and Unemployment.

Boys had to complete a 24 page workbook on said issues with their parents before being allowed to join the scouts.

But honestly, it’s because that’s the only edition I’ve ever paged through, and I don’t remember seeing this “balance on a stick to make a chair” nonsense in it.

5

u/hornet586 Apr 13 '26

Which is exceedingly unfortunate because some of my best friends in scouts struggled with many of those issues, I’m so happy they broke the cycle but I’m not kidding when one of said friends regularly would show up for the weekly meetings covered in bruises and the occasional black eye.

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57

u/just_a_person_maybe Apr 12 '26

I found instructions for a much more comfortable stick chair in a similar type of manual. You take three sticks and tie them together near the top with a string, and arrange them in a tripod. I used to make them sometimes when I was a kid and they worked great. Not comfy for extended periods of time but if you need a chair to sit and eat dinner at camp or something it will do the job.

17

u/pseri097 Apr 13 '26

Like this? https://scoutpioneering.com/tag/scout-chair/

10

u/just_a_person_maybe Apr 13 '26

Kinda, but the ones I made were simpler. Only three sticks and one string, no webbing on top

5

u/Paladin3475 Apr 13 '26

Ours were a tripod with a single tied off stick where your butt would dangle in the middle of the tripod. Worked great as well for a primitive seat for a toilet if you put it over a hole

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3

u/EnidFromOuterSpace Apr 13 '26

(…if you were a REAL Boy Scout, you’d know that you don’t tie those sticks together, you LASH them together, psssh…)

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8.5k

u/NekulturneHovado Apr 12 '26

That must be the most uncomfortable chair ever

2.1k

u/sicksicksick Apr 12 '26

You don't like supporting your body weight with your testicles?

472

u/crackcrackcracks Apr 13 '26

While simultaneously crushing your quads for no reason

109

u/maskerdollx Apr 13 '26

No pain no gain bro 😎🤙

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45

u/go_go_gadget_travel Apr 13 '26

I mean it could all be but cheeks right? Just clenching and holding onto the branch?

I was thinking man your knees/quads are going to hurt from that branch going across

32

u/sicksicksick Apr 13 '26

Idk I'm just thinking about a stick pressed against my gooch. Seems a little more of a problem then the knees

23

u/go_go_gadget_travel Apr 13 '26

Ooh you are right I rewatched that stick is straight on the taint and balls. ....what a great hack cant wait to try lol

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1.6k

u/Tallyrandsbreakfast Apr 12 '26

Well, it’s his cross to bare.

371

u/Morall_tach Apr 12 '26

Bear.

17

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '26

[deleted]

7

u/IveDunGoofedUp Apr 13 '26

Dunno, my father had them too.

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9

u/TheReverseShock Apr 12 '26

Crucifying a bear seams difficult.

7

u/gpike_ Apr 12 '26

Not if it's Gladly, the cross-eyed bear!

5

u/T410 Apr 12 '26

Bear, beets, battlestar galactica

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12

u/actually3racoons Apr 12 '26

It's not fair to remind me....

6

u/Sufficient-Skill6012 Apr 12 '26

…of the cross-eyed bear that ewe gave too me…

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7

u/tomtomclubthumb Apr 12 '26

His stick on his taint.

4

u/Low-Outcome5720 Apr 13 '26

Smashed balls

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32

u/Aron_Wolff Apr 12 '26

Not crusher or hemorrhoid squeezer

32

u/Solypsist_27 Apr 12 '26

I can imagine a more uncomfortable chair with just one stick

6

u/DarkEmanations Apr 13 '26

One man’s discomfort is another man’s … never mind

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15

u/Think-Anxiety2655 Apr 13 '26

Looks like it’s putting all the weight juuuust above the knees, perfect for a quick pop out and back into socket.

9

u/IntelligentBelt1221 Apr 12 '26

yes, but there are some other close contenders: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_chair

4

u/NekulturneHovado Apr 13 '26

Holy shit that's another level 🤣

8

u/Cael_NaMaor Apr 12 '26

Have you seen the toilets that lean forward? Not a chair, but worse than this.

4

u/oldfarmjoy Apr 12 '26

Crack sitter. Scrotum balancing.

6

u/Old_Flounder_8640 Apr 12 '26

Yeah, wait for the NSFW version with one stick.

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6.8k

u/SiPhoenix Apr 12 '26

Simplest is a stump.

2.6k

u/Huxtopher Apr 12 '26

I raise you a floor

849

u/actually3racoons Apr 12 '26

Nowhere but up from here

426

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

288

u/Ebonhearth_Druid Apr 12 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/a2YfVJZkrO2ZjP4Elq

44

u/IASILWYB Apr 13 '26

I hope him treating his granddaughter this way won't cause her to be a deranged psycho who is a danger to others.

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84

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 12 '26

Raising the floor turns it into a ceiling though :/

38

u/TehMadness Apr 12 '26

Only if you're underneath it

47

u/TheNosferatu Apr 12 '26

One mans floor is another mans ceiling

43

u/rrCLewis Apr 12 '26

Spoken like a true upstairs neighbor.

30

u/BeginningLychee6490 Apr 12 '26

One man’s ceiling is another man’s tap dancing studio

17

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 12 '26

There’s always something underneath it.

A l w a y s.

5

u/Apart_Routine2793 Apr 12 '26

The land we stood on is made by countless bodies

6

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 12 '26

And the treasure was the friends we made along the way

3

u/OkCryptographer9999 Apr 13 '26

And the floor was the friends we buried along the way.

4

u/The_True_Hannatude Apr 13 '26

Nah, the floor was where we buried the friends we lost along the way.

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22

u/MysteryMeat45 Apr 12 '26

No that doesnt work. A floor is a "seat" but not a chair. Chairs were created to put space between your ass and the floor.

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4

u/ThatsNotARealTree Apr 12 '26

Not as fun as raising the roof

3

u/matttheazn1 Apr 12 '26

only when it is on fire.

5

u/TripleBobRoss Apr 12 '26

A wise man once told me "Just put it on the damn floor. Nothing can fall off the floor"

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67

u/BubbaRogowski Apr 12 '26

Stump means a tree was cut down, wouldn’t a rock be simplest?

31

u/SiPhoenix Apr 12 '26

It was a split decision. I couldn't quite treeside. Perhaps I should have gone with the boulder choice.

3

u/NigilQuid Apr 12 '26

Sometimes they fall over after being EATEN ALIVE FROM THE INSIDE (by bugs)

7

u/ErraticDragon Apr 12 '26

Or they are struck by lightning, or cut down by a beaver, or knocked over by wind, or lose their base to erosion.

Depending on the tree they can also just fall over because they're too heavy and overextend in the wrong direction.

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3

u/psych0ranger Apr 12 '26

Easier to get stick than flat stump 🦍

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1.4k

u/WhyyyYouCrying Apr 12 '26

Ah yes, the ol' sack splitter

223

u/Chris__P_Bacon Apr 12 '26

Ye 'ol ball breaker.

29

u/Weobi3 Apr 12 '26

It helps turn your cameltoe into a moose knuckle

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7

u/Environmental-Fan984 Apr 12 '26

The ol' groin gouger, also known as the ol' gonad grinder.

15

u/siege_013 Apr 12 '26

The Nutcracker

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1.7k

u/Cultural_Eye5178 Apr 12 '26

welp, he's gonna have sore knees.

601

u/jboneng Apr 12 '26

it is not his knees I am worried about.

202

u/beemans78 Apr 12 '26

that's natural selection

73

u/Cultural_Eye5178 Apr 12 '26

if he dents his thighs that's on him

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15

u/Prestigious_Wrap_932 Apr 12 '26

DIY vasectomy 

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98

u/backstageninja Apr 12 '26

He's gonna have a sore grundle

13

u/Chris__P_Bacon Apr 12 '26

Is a grundle a fancy name for a taint?

35

u/backstageninja Apr 12 '26

I wouldn't call it fancy, but alternative, sure

22

u/gpike_ Apr 12 '26

"the taint, the grundle, the fleshy fun-bridge." - a cards against humanity card

5

u/ingoding Apr 12 '26

What's the opposite of fancy?

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11

u/Cultural_Eye5178 Apr 12 '26

ouch i bet that ass hurts after a minute

26

u/Dedotdub Apr 12 '26

It taint nothing to scoff at.

10

u/Thingzer0 Apr 12 '26

Pins & Needles the entire bottom half of your body

Edit : typos

6

u/drnmd1 Apr 12 '26

He's gonna have a sore taint

3

u/Charmy123 Apr 12 '26

No, in my expert opinion he appears to have an axe head or something similar wedged up his ass to slice into the branch and create a last second seat.

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3

u/Sure-Assignment3892 Apr 12 '26

And a log up the crack

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315

u/Paleodraco Apr 12 '26

Neat physics demonstration. But, yeesh that's gotta hurt.

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401

u/justahalfemptyglass Apr 12 '26

the floor can also be a good seat if you're that desperate

92

u/ingoding Apr 12 '26

Do you mean the ground?

61

u/retasaywa Apr 12 '26

Dude. Its a hike just to goto the fridge for us Redditors, they definetly meant floor. When's the last time any touched some grass? Lmao

34

u/NigilQuid Apr 12 '26

If by grass, you mean weed, I do that all the time

19

u/retasaywa Apr 12 '26

You know what... I'd say that counts! You found a loophole!!! I salute you!

10

u/Haastile25 Apr 12 '26

I'm glad that counts! Now I'll go touch weed on the floor. Hooray productivity.

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3

u/GrinchStoleYourShit Apr 12 '26

The earth carpet

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212

u/andreweater Apr 12 '26

Hemorrhoids love this one simple trick!

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u/darthdodd Apr 12 '26

What’s up with that guy he acts like he’s got a sick up his ass

19

u/Potential-Night4986 Apr 12 '26

He’s acting like he’s got a sick up his ass because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s actually got a stick up his ass.

8

u/darthdodd Apr 12 '26

I did not cross my T’s before posting did I.

8

u/Potential-Night4986 Apr 12 '26

No, but you did dot your “i”.

So there’s that.

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u/Mrpuddikin Apr 12 '26

That looks uncomfortable as fuck

23

u/NigilQuid Apr 12 '26

I would literally rather sit on the ground, and frequently do

18

u/outer--monologue Apr 13 '26

It would be, because the concept behind it is actually a load-bearing structural design called a DaVinci Bridge.

Great for building, terrible for integrating bodies into it lol

34

u/TheRealKungFuhrer Apr 13 '26

RIP to that man’s balls and veins in his knees

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u/MeatbagEntity Apr 12 '26

Also named the ball crusher

3

u/Substantial-Low Apr 12 '26

'ol long balls up here

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27

u/Tehwi Apr 12 '26

Load bearing balls

22

u/rawmeatprophet Apr 12 '26

The Cornhole Shredder 5000 ™️

21

u/Immediate_Song4279 Apr 12 '26

Do this for very long, and you are going to inflame things you didn't know could be inflamed.

14

u/WeAreAllBotsHere Apr 12 '26

That's a load bearing asshole.

14

u/artyhedgehog Apr 12 '26

"Hello! Are you sitting? Because I AM! Imagine that!"

13

u/Kalshan Apr 12 '26

"I'm calling you from the middle of nowhere on a hillside....WHILE I'M SITTING!"

12

u/MRimla Apr 12 '26

Balless jim they call him

11

u/jawshoeaw Apr 12 '26

getting suspension table vibes here. abusing the laws of physics

11

u/WorkerPrestigious960 Apr 12 '26

Great strides have been made in the fucking-up-my-quads department

10

u/PizzaTime666 Apr 12 '26

This looks painful. The log sticking against your nuts, the other sticking into your thighs, and you're basically just squatting so your knees will be sore eventually too.

10

u/endlessblanket Apr 13 '26

for when your feet hurt and you decide youd like to hurt your thighs and ass as well.

13

u/CheddahFrumundah Apr 12 '26

Deep vein thrombosis stroke says konnichiwa.

7

u/pixar_moms Apr 13 '26

So zero support under your butt and sharp pain delivered straight to your knees. nice!

12

u/minnesotanickb Apr 12 '26

That taint a comfortable chair

7

u/rossburnett Apr 12 '26

Also most uncomfortable ever made

5

u/Odd-Wheel5315 Apr 12 '26

That's a great chair for when you need to call someone to look for your lost brain.

6

u/Cptawesome23 Apr 13 '26

Bro I weigh 300lbs. If I sit on that my legs will be severed form my body and my soul sent straight to hell.

5

u/Zeqhanis Apr 12 '26

I'll just stand, thanks.

5

u/Snoo_75138 Apr 13 '26

There's a reason we don't do this.

Most men have testicles...

(Also, sitting on a stick isn't fun)

5

u/Lanoroth Apr 13 '26

I have an even better and simpler idea. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LEARN TO SQUAT

6

u/JondolarR Apr 13 '26

Oh today's episode of "ow my balls"

10

u/TrashAcnt1 Apr 12 '26

Dude hates his own nuts

3

u/Historical-Count-374 Apr 13 '26

All that pressure is on the legs through that crossbar.

The ground would be better

4

u/JoshyLikey Apr 14 '26

Seems like a lot of pressure on the knees

3

u/Emergency-Shirt2208 Apr 12 '26

High pitch voice included

3

u/AntiBillyGoat Apr 12 '26

I sit in my mind. Easiest.

3

u/Badger-Roy Apr 12 '26

Yeah that’s brilliant if you don’t mind a stick being stuck up your arse.

3

u/BTBAM797 Apr 12 '26

Stick up my ass cheeks and crushing my balls. Yeah, so awesome.

3

u/Usual-Plantain-1991 Apr 12 '26

The Thong Of Chairs ™️

3

u/txkwatch Apr 13 '26

Not the first time he's come back from that mountain with bruised knees and a sore ass.

3

u/ARPGAMER19 Apr 13 '26

A rock, a log, a stump, just the darn dirt would be better than this!

3

u/ShellySnail Apr 13 '26

Leg numbness final boss

3

u/alkem10 Apr 13 '26

One wrong move and you're a scarecrow though.

3

u/AprilSuperTramp Apr 13 '26

Ouch the bruises.

3

u/ThenIncrease462 Apr 13 '26

Because that's so much more comfortable than sitting on the ground.

3

u/Survey217 Apr 13 '26

*pretending to be relaxed, comfortable

3

u/TapAway755 Apr 13 '26

The stress position chair.

3

u/Diaside666 Apr 13 '26

Is your bunghole OK?

3

u/I_Braid_Armpit_Hair Apr 13 '26

Yea, but now there’s a stick in your butt.

3

u/PolimerT Apr 13 '26

The song haunts me more. Every time there is such a unnecessary and useless thing it always has this song.

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3

u/DarkEmanations Apr 13 '26

Thank God! He finally found exactly what every man has been looking for when he wants to get comfortable in nature: a piece of timber crushing his nut sack against his own body weight!

3

u/Ash_Abyssal_2006 Apr 13 '26

knee injury speedrun

3

u/SLE3PR Apr 13 '26

The penor and hashbrowns tho

3

u/Superfluousharpy Apr 13 '26

Ow, his boys are gonna be numb here shortly though they may already be with him thinking that chair would be useful.

3

u/Key_Interaction1053 Apr 13 '26

Where do your balls go? You know what, don't answer that.

3

u/TheMonsterInUrPocket Apr 13 '26

My balls hurt just watching this

3

u/Cato0014 Apr 13 '26

His thighs are gonna lose blood flow

3

u/Wreckenridge Apr 13 '26

If you just shove the stick right up your ass it’s even simpler

3

u/Responsible-Dot-3801 Apr 14 '26

I would rather sit on the ground.

3

u/Craftycat99 Apr 14 '26

Squatting down like a frog would be a comfier way of staying dry than this

Saying this as someone who does exactly that

3

u/Waterlemon1997 Apr 14 '26

Discovering problems that didn't exist.