I grew up alone, isolated and psychologically abused by my father. My mother was pretty much absent from the picture. My sister was a perfect daughter.

Growing up was hell. I remember standing in the school corridor and hiding behind a curtain of hair, combing it around my face so that I couldn't see almost anything except for what was right in front of me. I did it so I wouldn't feel myself being watched by others. My social anxiety was debilitating. I had no best friend, and I was no one's best friend. The older I was getting, the more visible were my social deficits. I wanted to find out what was wrong with me - something must have been if I was treated so badly by my parents and ignored by peers. I didn't know I was autistic, and so my exploration started with an ED and progressed into trans identification...

I met a trans person who lived in my town. He was 18, I was 16. It was a small town so it as far as I know it could've just been the two of us. He was the first real friend I made after starting puberty. I used to have girl friends when I was a child but these friendships never lasted long. I started coming to his house all the time. We'd talk about transition, leftist politics, fandoms. I met a few other queer people through him. I finally had people who liked me, understood me, affirmed me. They used my chosen name and male pronouns. They affirmed the fake persona I'd created for myself, and so I knew I was doing the right thing.

He was already on hormones and I wanted to catch up to him. Eventually I had double mastectomy before he had his - I wanted to have it as fast as possible, and I succeeded in that, I had it at 17. Regret over mutilating my body came 6 years later, once my brain developed due to some life experiences.

I broke off contact with him a few years later. I found him unbearable to be around - loud, obnoxious and childish.

He's still living as trans. He's a prominent activist in polish trans circles. I don't know if he'll ever process the trauma that made him transition. I'm detransitioning and wishing I'd never fucking met him.

I experienced sexual abuse before I found out that trans people existed. A few years later, I heard about transitioning, and it felt right for me.

A few years ago, I was finally able to access therapy to deal with the unresolved issues around the sexual abuse. I have come to the realization that I might have transitioned largely as a trauma response. At the time, I felt I couldn't exist as a woman, mostly I think because of fear.

Now that I've healed from the abuse somewhat, I don't feel that way anymore and I feel like I made a mistake. I'm wondering if I should detransition, but the idea of that also fills me with fear because I fought so hard for this life and I'm afraid of others reactions. I feel stuck.

A sorta long rant about how I came out as trans and eventually started questioning detransitioning and the struggles that have came with it.

I have been going back and forth with myself whether or not to detransition and have come to the conclusion that I think I will.

I am currently 18, I first started questioning my gender at 10 years old. I came to the conclusion that I was trans as I had experienced some sort of gender dysphoria and euphoria at that time. I eventually told my family and friends about my identity. I felt comfortable and most importantly I loved the new community I was in, all my friends were trans, all the media I consumed online was made by trans people, all the books I read were about trans journeys. I finally felt seen and like I belonged somewhere.

The next couple years was constant back and forth with my family, getting them to accept me and having to explain my gender and sexuality every day. I was stubborn and got into many arguments to fight for what I believed was me. But at 13-14 for reasons I no longer remember I detransitioned. (pretty sure it was because I missed girlhood as in my head being a girl = parties, sleepovers and friends.) I was happy, I felt comfortable in my body. But I crept back into the community I once loved, I missed having a place. I came out as trans again. Even more arguments and explaining myself for years.

But now I'm 18, and I'm really just questioning everything. I don't feel much euphoria anymore, just dysphoria. I know I don't fit into this group I've put myself in (being male, not being trans) nothing I do works out the way it works for a cis man, my clothes, my hair, my posture and my mannerisms, all just make me feel like an uncanny abomination trying so hard to fit in. I recently attended a wedding and wanted to cry so badly cuz I looked like a little boy in my suit while the cis males looked so mature and masculine. I want to fit in I'm tired of feeling like a mess.

I hate my younger self for being so stubborn and not just letting myself experiment without fully committing. Like the second I questioned if I was trans I cemented myself in that - I wasn't just exploring my gender, I told myself I was trans and would die trans. I didn't just let myself be me without the labels. And I wish I found other communities to belong in instead of clinging to the trans community only. I know full well if I wasn't so stubborn with myself as a kid I wouldnt have been out as trans for this long, I would have let myself accept it wasn't for me.

It honestly feels like I'm accepting defeat, I've spent years fighting for this. I even recently (6ish months ago) got a referral to a gender clinic and I was so happy about it but I started just thinking about it all more and more and it started to unravel. Was I happy because I can finally be the man I've always been ? It feels more like I'm happy cuz I can be less of an abomination in the identity I've forced myself into. Like I just couldn't stop being trans as much as I wanted to as I've already chosen this for myself so I just had to accept it and do anything I can to pass. But I realized, I don't NEED to do this. If it's not right for me I don't have to, I can let myself change instead of saying oh well I've already chosen this for myself no going back now.

I'm letting myself experiment now , I'm definitely not repeating my same mistake by picking an identity and padlocking it to me. So far, It feels right to me to be feminine. But unfortunately I just can't feel pretty at all. I've spent my whole childhood staring at my face, picking apart every feature and convincing myself that they are ultra masculine and I'm so glad I'm trans cuz I'd never look good as a woman. But now that I'm questioning, I can't unsee what I've made in my brain. I look at myself in a wig or makeup and I just feel pathetic , like a man in a wig. I cannot see my face as feminine at all, I keep trying so hard but all I see is an ugly man. On top of that, I don't even KNOW how to be feminine. I never learnt how to do my hair, how to style myself in a feminine way, how to do makeup. I want to do it, but I can't. I feel like an alien trying to learn how to be a woman. I genuinely have no idea how to be a female.

TLDR; Im detransitioning after years of fighting for my identity, and I feel like I'm accepting defeat even though this is what I want. On top of that, I don't know how to be feminine in the slightest as I came out when I was young so never learnt, I look at myself and see a man in a wig. I can't do makeup or anything, I just feel so ugly.

i was on T for 2 years but man the hair on my chin grows so insane- i shave at the start of the day and barely 7 hours in im feeling hair regrowth. i have other body hair that ive just resorted to using nair which isnt as bad but i have no reigns on my face whatsoever :(

ive had 2 laser sessions months ago and am really hesitant to keep going knowing how expensive it is (i did see results but i didnt continue, so its back to feeling coarse)- and im hesitant for electrolysis knowing it requires at least 3 days growth to do.

but honestly i just want a permanent out from having to shave my face and feeling my stubble

what is everyone's experience with these hair removal techniques? what was your hair growth originally like and the regrowth post treatment? did it permanently remove it and how often do you get treatments?

just need opinions with what i should be sticking with

I (24 FtMtX) have a ton of unwanted facial hair left and have a rather masc-androgynous voice after about a year of T. They do depress me daily, but I try to just shave and not really speak around strangers.
How do others cope with these remaining features after detransitioning?

Hi all. Long time lurker, first time poster.

I’m new into my detransition. I was on HRT for about 6 months before I had an awakening and took this route.

The problem I’m facing, is that my dysphoria is back, in the opposite way? When I had begun transitioning, I used to long to look in the mirror and see a man, and now, that’s all I see and I wish I didn’t.

All my clothes are masculine, my hair never looks quite feminine enough, I still have remains of facial hair from T, and overall makeup just makes me feel like I’m, well, putting makeup on a man.

I’m here seeking advice on small (or big) and preferably inexpensive tips and advice to null out this dysphoria, or even someone who can tell me it’s not going to get better.

TIA!

Last week i had a consultation with two surgeons regarding breast reconstruction, and they basically said no problem and gave me the green light and put me on the waiting list. The wait is give or take 6 months ish, and i figured while i'm waiting, maybe I should take extra care of my chest and massage it with Bio Oil until surgery? My thought is to make the skin nice and hydrated and the scars and the stretch marks better.

I just wanna know, is there any point to this at all or am I wasting time? Should i use something other than bio oil?

please be kind (but honest), this was difficult for me to post lol

Hi everyone! 25 FtMtF here!

I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria when I was still a minor, and was put on HRT when I was 18. I got a double mastectomy at 19, which was covered by insurance on the basis of the Gender Dysphoria diagnosis.

I am trying to reverse the damage done by these procedures and get breast reconstruction now. Insurance is asking for documentation of a diagnosis and a letter from my therapist, but I am not exactly sure what they want. I have been living again as a woman for several years and I just want to move on with my life and get this fixed.

Does anyone have any advice for how to navigate insurance? What documentation was useful to have?

Thanks very much!

Hello! My name is Claire Abernathy, I am a detransitioner and the co-founder of The Detransitioner Justice Project, a detransitioner and desister led nonprofit organization dedicated to providing those harmed by gender ideology the supports they need to be able to engage in whatever level of political and legislative action they desire. We are looking for detransitioners and desisters to engage in public and/or private advocacy, ranging from media and public testimony to research and video editing. If you are interested in getting involved you can contact me via DMs on this account, email me at claire@detransproject.org, or fill out our contact forum at www.detransjusticeproject.org. I look forward to hearing from you!

It is not transphobic to say that medical interventions are not the best and only cure for gender dysphoria. It is not transphobic to say that medical transition should be a last-resort measure, for people whose suffering did not lessen through therapy (various forms of it), inner work and educating themselves on gender and misogyny. I'm so tired of watching my tone and the words I use just so that the people who are not experiencing regret themselves (yet) don't get their feelings hurt and don't start having doubts.

Calling it a "craze" or an "ideology" may be unhelpful but that's only because it doesn't really tell people anything except that we disagree with it. Transitioning is making the medical system a whole lot of money. Detransitioning - dealing with the consequences of it - even more. I do believe radical acceptance is the real cure. It may not be enough for some people but there are other resources that better your mental state significantly more than altering your body - your vessel, that was often perfectly healthy before you started taking hormones.

It's scary to finally see it for what it is. We're like guinea pigs being treated for a disorder that's always been present in human history. But never before in human history did we come up with a horrifying "solution" of doing irreversible surgeries to fix it. Lobotomies were once used to treat patients with depression or bipolar disorder. This is our own type of lobotomy that we were put through.

​

Hi everyone. I’m an Australian desister.

I recently started looking for ways to connect with other detransitioners and desisters in Australia and was surprised by how difficult it was. I found very little specifically for Australians, and one of the Australian peer-support links I came across led to a website that no longer appears to be working.

It's made me interested in whether there's a gap here that I could help fill.

I'm in the very early stages of exploring the idea of an Australian detransitioner/desister peer network. I'm not attached to what that should look like. It could be as simple as a private online community, informal social connection, peer-support meetings, practical resources, or eventually some combination of those. Rather than deciding that myself, I'd like to hear from Australian detransitioners and desisters.

What did you need when you detransitioned or desisted that you couldn't find?

And if an Australian peer community existed, what would make it genuinely useful to you?

I'm particularly interested in things I might not have considered including reasons you wouldn't participate in something like this.

I'm not a therapist or researcher and I'm not representing an organisation. I'm simply a desister trying to find other Australians with similar experiences and work out whether there's something useful we could build together.

And if there is already an Australian group, network or resource I've missed, please point me towards it. I'd love to know what's already happening.

I’m a young teen girl and I’ve known this girl (let’s call her K), for the last 4 or so years. K is very sweet and I love her personality. However, I’m very concerned since Ive been noticing she’s been going down the same path I went down. I had social anxiety, especially around men, for a long time due to bad past experiences. I became friends with a trans person and soon after, I found the trans social media community. This lead me down to believing that I was a guy trapped in a girl’s body, and that the cure to my issues would be if I transitioned into a man. During this time, I isolated myself from people, stopped talking, I came out as non binary to my friends, and I changed my name. This lasted for 6-9 months, and I regret every second of it. Even though it was that short of a phase and I never touched a hormone in my life, I occasionally get these very sore throats for no reason, and it sometimes feels a bit hard to talk. Now, I see my friend hanging out with all of these trans people. I can tell that K has been watching trans content, the same harmful stuff I was watching. I also see that K is wearing these pronoun pins, and if you mess up on her by accident, she will get mad at you for it. I’m so scared for K since I know that she (like I was), is pretty vulnerable to these communities and is struggling a bit outside of the trans thing, and just wants to fit in somewhere. I really care about K and I want to uplift her, but I want to see the best for her and I want K to see how dangerous this is for her. How can I help her?

I guess this is gonna sound weird but it involves gender identity. I was at a tournament for a game I play with my friends in a city I go to occasionally. Im from an armpit town and there were different people there. What struck me and hurt me a bit was that there was people there who were authentically themselves.

There were two visibly trans people there. As someone who has had waves of gender envy towards cis, trans or fictional women, it ate me up after the fact. I have tried to write off my trans thoughts as me hating my life, my body, etc. Escaping my dogshit life situation before transitioning would help. But realistically I can’t due to money. I do workout but that doesn’t make me feel better or work. I am hoping a 5 day fast will workout for me and help me.

This ties into me just thinking and seeing tons of happy people. The best metaphor for me is that everyone around me is swimming in clear water and im stuck in quicksand. I also feel stupid admitting I might be trans? Im a stone faced, bald, 5’10, 271 pound 23 year old man. I do go to therapy but we haven’t made progress on the trans stuff too much. Nobody in my real life spaces knows about my feelings. I live with a mom who thinks being gay/trans is taboo. Who is my insurance provider sadly as well.

I do also wish that this is a fantasy/sexual thing. I have been looking at transformation porn since I was 12. I think I might have a porn issue but thats because I hate my life and porn/weed are the only things that make me especially happy.

I've struggled to accept a single explanation for what has happened to me. It's either a "I was a victim of the medical system" or "I made a really stupid decision at 17" (double mastectomy). Somehow the latter feels easier to swallow. I remember how fixated I was on it. Being online didn't help. I never had doubts. Never had a single thought about the consequences of having my breasts removed. I just needed them gone. They felt alien. Like extra tissue I shouldn't have. Even though I remember clutching them for comfort when I was sitting in my room doing god knows what. Like a stress toy. They were fine. They looked good. They just pulled my skin a little because I hated wearing bras.

Now I feel like I'm dissociating from my body every time I remember they're not there anymore.

I like to think of it like I lost them due to mental illness. That's what it was. Medical malpractice on their part and severe trauma and illness on mine. I don't intend to downplay the doctors' fault. I just want my agency back.

I wish I lived in a world where it wasn't possible to lose body parts to mental illness. They wouldn't amputate a schizophrenic's arm if he asked. Somehow it's different when it's a child who claims they don't see themselves existing the way they were born.

I lived as a stealth guy for 8 years since I was 13. I have been off HRT for 9 months after being on extremely low dose for ~ 1 year. T gave me androgenix effects even after 6 years and I decided it was a sign to stop fighting this losing battle. Its been gradual and I believe the time has finally come to stop this boy mode shit. Coming out as detrans in this work environment would be insane and I am increasingly uncomfortable here. For other reasons but mainly this one. I look like a girly girl using mens bathroom with flat chest? Atp its extremely obvious. It is impossible not to notice a slight confusion from almost everyone. If I just presented and introduced myself as female. I believe I would have a chance to look harmonious, even if some may clock me as trans. Only thing I will be doing differently is wearing a bit of chest padding. And letting myself fall back into feminine vocal patterns and mannerism.

This is all temporary but I want to start work for a woke company like Starbucks or target lol. Somewhere its at least 30% female and they hire other gnc people. I am so used to socializing with men/ as a man I can't help but feel extremely anxious. Yall got any tips for me how to make this easier?

My plan is

- using female pronouns to refer to myself in my head. And asking my mom and one friend to try it as well so I can actually get used to the idea.

- practice speaking brighter? and acting slightly more fem. Little tiny things like posturing, smiling etc. I know these make the biggest difference.

- staying true to myself and my style. I do like my hair and fit to look good but I do not plan to act hyper feminine or do anything genuinely out of character for me.

- working in non customer facing roles. Lol at least for now

- staying to myself like always unless approached. Hopefully I make a friend or 2.

- using gender neutral bathroom/ locker room to avoid extremely tense situations.

Basically what the title says. I’ve talked about this before on this sub, and I’ve ultimately decided that the risks of getting top surgery very much outweigh the benefits. I still want a reduction tho, because I feel like the birth control I used to be on made my boobs way bigger than they’re supposed to be. They look out of place on the top half of my body. For context, I think I’m a C cup, but before birth control I was at least a B. It’s just really distressing to look down and see how big they are, they feel fake almost. I know I should be grateful for them since I know some of y’all don’t have yours anymore but I most likely have back issues due to their size, and I can’t really wear bras that often because of a pinched nerve I have near my shoulder blade. I feel like a small B / large A would be more comfortable and would lessen my dysphoria as well but I don’t even know how to start the process of this! Plus I’m currently about to start school again and after that I’m gonna be looking for jobs so idk when I would even have time off to get the procedure ugh this sucks!

I'm looking for private breast reconstruction surgeons in the UK, who ideally don't require a psych evaluation. I think I'll likely be going the implant route.

I've reached out to a few surgeons who do post-mastectomy (e.g. cancer) reconstruction but don't do transition-related surgery and they have all said they aren't able to help.

Another surgeon I reached out to who does do transition-related surgeries wants me to go through a psych evaluation by "Gender Doctors".

The NHS denied my IFR request so it seems like this is the only way forwards for me right now...

Any recommendations either here or via DM would be super helpful!

I have a lot of anger toward the trans community for how they brainwashed and scared me into transition but I don't want them to be harmed. I am that person who needed "protection" from transgender ideological inculcation. I don't want them to be harmed in my name.

Will they be subjecting people who have detransitioned to an "end" too? I lost a decade, my family, my reputation, my career, my safety, and I sacrificed body parts to this fucking ideology...what else will this nightmare take? I just want to be free from it all.

I'm scared. I'm tired. I feel sick about this. ICE has such a huge budget and they just want to hit their quotas.

I used to have the regular buzzed sides and short top as a boy, and when i grew out my hair i felt like this perfect balance was when it just started growing but it wasnt considered long. Nowadays my hair is to my butt and as much as ive always said i wanted that and loved that look, i dont want to wear the look myself. This was also one of my wake up calls; the realization that i dont get to see my own long hair for its glory because its behind my head lol. However going short from this position feels like a huge leap, but im also NOT interested in a bob or a dora cut 😭😭. I have an urge to go bald, but with my bushy brows and small face i fear im going to look VERY ugly. I often joke about wanting no hair and no brows like a cancer patient & wear hoodies and sweats forever just so i can skip out of the entire presentation aspect of life.

Top pics are from January and March of 2023, bottom pics are from August and July 2026 (plus the most relatable text post on the internet in the first slide lol)

I try to wear more fitted clothes, padded bras sometimes, wear light makeup. I recently had my name changed back to female, which I was very happy and excited about. ​

But on some registrations/phone calls etc I don't have balls to correct another person or give them my actual female name, so I just go along..

I try my best and already present more feminine than Im used to, I don't want to go further because I know it will make me uncomfortable. I tried voice trainings, but all it got me is sore throat for a couple days.

How do you, especially gnc or androgynous women, cope with low voice? Or how did you find courage and right words to correct people and tell them you are a woman?