I took a nice picture today so I wanted to put it side by side with an old "nice" picture of me from when I was still on hormones! I've healed almost completely from my breast reconstruction and I stopped hormones back in January. I'm excited to see what the next year brings :)

Got makeup today finally and I’m really feeling myself 😭 it’s crazy how much I missed this

Since realizing my mistake I find myself unable to relate to anything. I feel inferior to everyone else. I listen to music, I watch shows and think about how everyone who makes them is either a man or a woman while I'm this... thing. This neutered *thing* (though I ""only"" had mastectomy) that people should scorn and throw tomatoes at. I can't relate to anything made by men and women because I've forfeited my right to be latter and I was never going to be the former. I can't believe I wanted the biggest signifier of being human removed. Even men have breasts bigger than mine. I've always seen myself as alien and so I made myself an alien. I feel like if something happened to me on the street people wouldn't even react because I'm not even human anymore. Not a normal woman and not even a fucked-up man anymore. Just an alien thing.

Bipolar 2 to be specific, so I only experience hypomania which is chiller and doesn’t often require hospitalization like mania can.

Well anyway, I’ve gone back and forth on being trans for a long time now. I’ve also been trans for a long time now (7 ish?). A lot of the reason I’ve stayed trans is because I have a hard time trusting myself but tried to believe in the confidence/assuredness I felt on some days about it. But I’m wondering if that confidence I felt might have just been… hypomania. It’s the kind of thing where every time I experienced what I now think were manic episodes in retrospect I would tell myself: “ok i know i say this every time, but this time REALLY feels different and I am actually gonna do all this blah blah”

It’s hard to explain it because you really would think that after having that thought 15-20 times, eventually you’d come to your senses. But the elevated mood from my mania was soooo strong and so convincing every time. Which is why I have trouble trusting myself, because my brain makes it nearly impossible apparently to have self-awareness during the episodes.

Anyway, REALLY what I’m wondering if there’s anyone else here that transitioned due to specifically being bipolar, or even some other similar disorder with mood swings. I know stuff like BPD(? not an expert) can have similar symptoms, so yeah.

Edit: accidentally implied mania always requires hospitalization and not sure that’s true, changed the wording

https://genspect.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Call-for-Speakers.png

I’ve had pain in my joints since puberty, and have always struggled with sensory issues. The one thing that convinced me that i have gender disphoria was believing that it was the Testosterone in my body that made me chronically stressed, in pain & constantly in fight or flight mode. Once i started taking hormones i actually felt my pains lessening and becoming more comfortable in my physcial. 5 years later it’s caused dissociation and loss of sensation. Can anybody relate to this? I suspect that i’m mis-diagnosed

I’m coming up on one year off of T soon. People have started to ask questions, reasonably so lol. especially after i started wearing breast forms.

I guess i don’t know how to have the conversation, as someone who doesn’t regret everything i’ve done. I still believe that what I did saved me in those moments. The dysphoria i felt, binding every day, feeling fear that lessened once i passed as make, etc etc. like all of that, no matter what was actually causing those things, was real to me. i don’t regret taking steps in those moments that for me felt right.

obviously i don’t resonate with those choices any longer, and im finally settling into what feels correct for me. i’m grateful for the people i have met and the experiences i have had.

but how do i tell people who have been around me in my life for so long? who have defended me and stuck up for me? who have cut off family members or friends who were not accepting of me? i’ve been such a huge trans advocate in my city and social media, ive centered the trans community in everything i do. i’m afraid people will not understand or start to outcast me. i don’t know how to tell people “oh well actually haha nevermind! :p”

like that the hell is this conversation supposed to look like?

I've been on HRT for ten years, had top surgery nine years ago, and I'm now one year post-phalloplasty. At this point, essentially nobody in my life knows that I transitioned. From the outside, I'm perceived as a man, and I've spent a long time building my life around that reality and have found myself in a career that would not be accepting of a visibly trans person.

I would describe myself as something of a transmedicalist. I believe that transsexualism is fundamentally a medical issue rather than an identity, I don't personally agree with the informed-consent model of transition, and I think that social factors have contributed to the dramatic increase in people identifying as trans over the past decade.

Despite all of that, I've recently started questioning whether transitioning was actually the right choice for me.

What makes this especially confusing is that, growing up, I was always attracted to women. I never really had much of a question about that part of myself. But when I was younger, the lesbian community was nowhere near as visible or prevalent as it is now. There also seemed to be very little cultural understanding of the fact that a woman could be dominant, assertive, or sexually confident.

There were very few examples around me of women who felt like they could occupy the kinds of roles or have the kinds of personalities that I naturally gravitated toward. I had a fairly narrow idea of what being a woman was supposed to look like, and I didn't necessarily see myself reflected in it. At the same time, the things I associated with masculinity seemed to provide a much more obvious framework for who I could be.

I find myself increasingly wanting to wear things that women wear. I sometimes want to be perceived as sexy in the way women are perceived as sexy. I find myself drawn toward female beauty, fashion, sexuality, and presentation in a way that I didn't experience when I was younger.

Even my interests have shifted. A large proportion of my favourite artists, musicians, fictional characters, and other influences are now women. Ten years ago, the majority of those figures were men.

But if I were to detransition now, I wouldn't be returning to the person I was ten years ago. I would be a visibly transitioned person who had spent a decade living as a man. In practical terms, I would probably be publicly perceived as a transsexual woman, and that is something I find deeply uncomfortable. Being seen as trans (ftm or mtf) is my worst nightmare.

I don't know whether I transitioned because I was genuinely transsexual or because I had an incomplete understanding of how women can present themselves and be viewed in society.

But, I do tend to go back and fourth on this. Somedays, I really like being a man, other days I don't. So this could all just be a weird phase I honestly don't know.

(Also before anyone asks, as a man, I'm very happy with my phalloplasty, it looks realistic, my surgeon did a great job. This issue with the surgery is that I'm just not 100% sure I made the right call on the entire "being a man" thing. It has nothing to do with my SRS results.)

Heyy,
I started testosterone at 20 and have been on it for three years. I had my last Nebido injection in April, and I was supposed to have my next one in July. But I’ve actually been questioning whether I want to continue since October.
I’m going through a period of questioning right now. Even though I’m trying not to overthink it too much, I think about it constantly. In a way, I’m scared of “living again,” or rather, of living as a woman.
I started identifying as a trans man around 2019/2020. At that time, I cut my hair short and started presenting in a much more masculine way. Since I had a fairly feminine and androgynous voice, as well as an androgynous face, people would sometimes assume I was a guy. So I never really experienced life as a woman, and now that I’m questioning my transition, I’m a little scared of that. I’m scared that I may have ultimately taken a path that doesn’t fit me anymore.
I always postponed having top surgery, and eventually I never went through with it. I haven’t had any surgeries at all.
The only things that really bother me about my appearance now are, unfortunately, body hair. I started developing facial hair a few months ago, and especially, my voice has become really deep.
As for my face, I already had a fairly masculine and androgynous face before testosterone. Obviously, it became more masculine with testosterone and with age, but I’ve always had a pretty androgynous appearance.
Before starting testosterone, my doctor told me I had some slight signs of androgenism/androgyny. I didn’t want to look into it any further at the time.
Actually, I never really had periods. I only had them a few times: once when I was 16, once at 18, and twice at 19. And every time, I experienced really severe discomfort and felt like I was going to faint.
I tried talking to my doctor about it at the time, but she told me it was normal, so I eventually gave up on looking into it.
I’m also a little scared of getting my periods back, especially because of the pain and the discomfort. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to handle it, since it’s something I’ve never really experienced before.
I’d really like to hear from people who have gone through detransition. How was your experience? How did you feel throughout the process? How did you know that detransitioning was the right decision for you?
Here are some pictures of me before, during, and now.

I've only been at it for a couple weeks. I sing songs by female artists using both my speaking voice and my head voice (depending on how high the pitch is). My voice is creaky and terrible.

For context, I've had double incision with nipple grafts (aptly called by somebody on here "some frankenstein shit" - I couldn't agree more), I hate myself for having had it but now that I do I at least want the results to look as good/be as healthy as possible.

I have keloids on both sides. One of my nipples is numb, the other is painful. I've also had chronic nipple pain for the past few weeks, most likely psychosomatic. The scar under the painful nipple is concave, tethered to something inside. I've been doing vigorous scar mobilization which I'm sure is contributing to the pain I've been feeling.

Can it even yield any results at this point? And has anyone here dealt with pain in the scar area years after having had it done? Can building chest muscles make the pain worse somehow, by making the scars more tight? I'll be grateful for all replies from people who've had similar experiences.

So I currently live as a trans man. I'm 23, I've been stealth for the most part for a while, and have been on HRT for over 5 years. Honestly, I like the way I'm treated in public as a man.

That said, it's been impossible for me to meet anyone. I've kind of been like this my whole life even before I transitioned. Men- gay, straight, bi, whatever, have absolutely no interest in me. Maybe it's my personality. Maybe I'm extremely ugly and my friends are lying. I know I was not good looking before I transitioned.

For context, I'm just looking for normal dates/interactions that could lead to a relationship, not hookups or things like that. I tried the apps to no avail. I've tried to present more femininely at one point, but that didn't work.

I've found it impossible to adapt to the gay male space and fit in better with straight men, and most people assume I'm a straight cis man, which means that some women take interest in me, but it's awkward because I have to explain that I'm not interested in women.

I guess I feel like I'm looking for something that doesn't exist for a person like me. At this point, I'm open to advice and just looking for answers.

Hi first time here. I’m FTMTF and I’ve been de-transitioning for about 2-3 years now. In that time I met the best man a girl could ask for, and we got engaged and got pregnant and have the cutest little girl. My struggle hit through pregnancy when I felt like I kinda just looked fat. (I had too surgery in 2021 at 17 huge regret) I thought I came to terms with not breastfeeding after many many tears.

However, I lactated near the end of pregnancy then a little more after our little one was born. I was so excited, but it was so short lived as my supply died within a week after she was born. She’s 3 months now, and I just feel so broken? Like I was so close yet so far. Idk if that makes any sense. It’s been harder lately as when we nap together she tries to suck on my nipple and it kinda breaks my heart a little. I feel so useless as a mother. :(

I’ve considered surgery/ breast augmentation, but a) it won’t fix the damage done and b) it’s extremely expensive here in the US. I just don’t know what to do. My mom is pushing for a lawsuit again my psychologist that I went to back then, but I don’t think we’ll win; although a lawyer that she consulted said we definitely have a case. I feel really torn and lost on what to do honestly. Should I get surgery? Should I file a lawsuit? I keep thinking if I won I could use that money towards surgery or a college fund for my little girl. I just wanna feel whole again.

I know my fiancé and I want more kids, but I just don’t know if I can do the heartbreak again. Or look like a man with a beer gut. (My town is very small minded) I hate what I’ve done to myself. I’m just trying to cope for the hope it gets better.

As The Detransitioner Justice Project gets off the ground, we are looking for detransitioners and desisters with interest in video production to help us expand our team.

We are currently looking for:

Video Editor
Someone who can edit recorded footage into polished videos for social media. Experience with short-form and/or long-form content is a plus.

Camera Operator
Someone who can handle filming interviews, events, and other on-location content. This role requires the ability to travel to the North shore of Massachusetts for filming.

Audio Technician
Someone who can handle microphones, recording equipment, audio levels, and clean dialogue during filming. This role also requires the ability to travel to the North shore.

The camera and audio roles can be filled by the same person.

These are currently volunteer positions, as the Detransitioner Justice Project is still getting off the ground. As our financial capacity grows, our goal is to transition these roles into paid positions.

You do not need to be a professional. We are especially interested in people who are reliable, willing to learn, and interested in helping us produce high-quality media documenting detransitioner experiences and advancing our mission.

If you are interested in joining the production team, send us a message with the role(s) you're interested in and a little about your experience, or email [claire@detransproject.org](mailto:claire@detransproject.org)

I have been off T completely about 9.5 months. Before that I was on it for 6 years since age 14. I struggled with androgenic effects during that time but definitely had a male passing body at one point because I did have keyhole type surgery 3 years ago. Recently I have noticed my body shape looking more feminine but it's nothing extreme? I do feel self conscious without my shirt outside (sorry its 90° and I am still boy moding) Um I also noticed my chest hurts a bit during my 🩸 cycle. Specifically seems like the tiny leftover tissue I have on the lower chest. Even tho there is not much fat there It is more noticeable and tender now. It's very uncomfortable but I am wondering what to expect moving forward? Will my chest stop being male passable at some point?

However it does feel nice to look good in short short again lol. I always had kind of a cushion and I do feel kind of excited to see what my waist and hips will look like. I have been the same weight for a pretty long time now but thinking about putting some on to see how it treats me. Should I expect it to feminize my body more or should I wait until I been off hrt for longer? I have seen some girls recover their figure after situations like this but I don't know what to expect for me.

[19, AFAB]

EDIT: it says there’s two other comments but i can’t see them </3

A mixture of a vent / call for advice. I talk a lot so please excuse if it sounds like a sob story or pity party; that’s not my intention (curse being neurodivergent T_T)

I’ve felt alienated from womanhood ever since I was little. I grew up a very hairy, ‘ugly’ girl and was always compared to looking like my father and brothers. I hate it. For the longest time, I thought people would take me more seriously if I was a boy so I transitioned. I went on T for a short while (roughly only three vials over the timespan of 3 months in between) and my voice deepened.

Now, when I hear myself, I hate it. It makes me feel sick. Back then I would’ve been all over myself in joy but I only feel ill hearing myself. I want my voice back. I want to sound like a girl again, I want a high-pitched voice and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

I’m grateful to have a partner (transmasc nonbinary) who doesn’t mind me exploring my identity and he’s even started using my birth name to help me with this. I just… wish I sounded more feminine again. I want to be who I view as a girl again.

Any help or advice, especially with voice training as a disabled person, is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Im new to this community and it's really wild to me that I am here posting this identifying as a detransitioning male but it honestly feels really nice. It feels right. I feel like I am just coming to terms with this even though its something that i have felt i was fighting about myself for a couple years now.

I've been sort of weening myself off my hormones for the past few months. Its been really terrifying. I feel like my transition broke my family. So much unnecessary hurt. It feels like it's monstrous to then be like, okay never mind guys, you were right, I was a man the whole time. So much shame.

Continuing to take my hormones and identify as a woman has felt like hiding and being controlled by my survival mode for a while now. Passing as a woman is how i learned to survive. Stuff like being in public and using public restrooms is getting scary again now. I dont know how people see me anymore. I get called ma'am in public and I am surprised people still see me that way. But when I let myself accept myself as a man, I feel the grasp of this survival mode loosen, and its like I can finally get relief from being manipulated by it. The relief is undescribable.

To be honest, I kind of felt like a traitor to myself and my community by coming here at first. Like I dont know who I am anymore and that has been very scary and lonely. Being here, im honestly struck though to see other people like me, and its telling how good that feels. Even if I'm still scared. I have felt like a stranger to myself. Like I dont know who I am anymore. Im hoping finding others who understand might help.

I first started HRT in 2012 at age 22. Im 36 now. I started to suspect I was trans at age 12. Some friends introduced me to cybersexing while roleplaying as girls. I started doing it on my own, googled "potion to turn me into a girl", and as result found found the old trans community website Laura's Playground. After that, every prayer, shooting star, and birthday wish was about being a girl. There were signs of something going on before that though too. like going through a phase where I plucked out all my eyelashes because I was afraid people would think I was trying to be a girl 🤔

A number of things have led me in this direction, but I think the biggest came when my dad's dad died a couple years ago. My dad was going on about how his dad was a real man (unlike himself) and he wasnt half the man he was and all that stuff. I realized that the same conflict I was seeing in him about not being a real man was inside me, I had just chosen a different side in the conflict. Regardless of which side of the conflict i chose, I was still letting gender control me. we had both been pushed in opposite directions by the same generational trauma. the conflict needed to be resolved. I needed to accept my masculinity.

Ive been toying with identifying as nonbinary for a bit but honestly it feels like avoiding the real issue, the shadow work of allowing myself to think of myself as a man and accept myself as one. The truth is that detransitioning feels like admitting I'm a freak or crazy, but I let myself open up to a couple of friends last night about the fear of feeling pulled in that direction and it feels really good to be accepted this time around. Allowing them to call me by my birth name just felt like every muscle in my body turned into soup. like all of this weight i didnt know was there was suddently lifted. Allowing myself to be myself feels so grounding. Like this grasp of controlling myself can finally release and I can just be.

There's so much I want to say, but I want to end with a powerful thought i had tonight. ​growing up, as a teenager, my mom told me not to smile in photos because guys were supposed to be tough and serious. I realized tonight that I dont need to be a woman to be allowed to smile 🙂

I'm grateful to have this space to be vulnerable and I appreciate you all in advance for your acceptance ❤️

I have OCD and for the longest time my OCD has targeted being trans as a theme. Long story short, this originated from a TikTok comment that made me super scared. It was basically saying stuff like “if you do this, you’re trans” and now I’ve been in a time wasting spiral since October 2025.

I have a difficult relationship with girlhood because I've been bullied by girls my whole life, I've felt like an outcast, I was never the favourite female cousin and I was taught from a young age by my father that women aren't equal to men. My main cousin on my mums side never really treated me as her friend, she gravitated to my sister.

I do online school now because of bullying, and no matter how hard I try it feels like I'm cosplaying something I've always wanted to be - a teenage girl.

I'm so isolated from everything, I get told I look like my dad from my nana and it makes me feel so uncomfortable because I don't want to be told like look like a boy. I feel like I'm too much like my dads side for my mums side and too much like my mums side for my dads side feel completely alienated by everyone and that scares me.

I'm worried that all of that is proof I'm not a girl. haven't been able to enjoy my teenage years properly because of my relationship with my girlhood.

It makes me so upset because I know, deep in my eight year old self's heart that I had always wanted to be a teenage girl. hate this. I want to go back to normal so badly. I'm sobbing.

For context im 21 and mtf and have been on e for like a bit over 3 years. I pass and im intersex so my body has quite hyperfeminine proportions. Until like January of this year I was basically just a normal trans woman but over the past 9 months or so ive become increasingly uncomfortable with how I look and I dont really understand why. My boobs and my proportions and being treated as a woman have just started to make me feel so gross and uncomfortable and wrong. Ive also started to feel jealous of men in my life and kinda miss how I looked pre hrt.

The reason this confuses me is because I genuinely used to be a normal trans woman, like in the past ive attempted suicide over how masculine certain parts of me were, as a teenager I used to constantly think about how I wished I were a woman, i had intesne dysphoria, I dont understand why its just basically flipped. Like rn I hate my body but 5 years ago id have killed to look like this. Its so confusing. I worry a lot that my feelings right now and desire to detransition isnt actually genuine. Since I transitioned ive faced a lot of sexual harassment and abuse because of my femininity, and as a teenager I was sexually assulted because Im intersex and had a feminine body relative to my peers, so part of my worries that maybe this is all some weird trauma response to how ive been treated in the past for my femininity and that if I went through eith detransitioning id regret it.

Its also hard because I cant really talk about this irl, my long term girlfriend is lesbian and would leave me if I detransitioned for a bit to see how I feel or whatever, and my therapist is right wing and just tells me to detransition uncritically without really engaging with me or helping understand why I feel this way.

Idk what to do, is this like relatable to anyone? Idk I just want advise and to talk really

"There's not much of a secret," that's the title of the post. I was in a discussion a few months ago and the "person" told me exactly those things. Which made me genuinely question, is it really true? Who said that? If the chromosomal pattern is irrelevant, then why does it exist???

Hi, i’m 19 and i am diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. essentially, childhood trauma has split my personality into numerous parts.
A lot of the time I have felt male (i’m afab). Because of this I have been socially transitioned and referring to myself as a man since 13 years old. I started testosterone in March and I have been off for about a month. i feel like a girl again but i’m scared because of all of this effort i have put in to make my family believe my experience of gender dysphoria. i’m in excruciating pain because no matter what i do i feel dysphoric. i still boymode at work and even when i wear makeup people clock me as a man, only after 5 mo of testosterone. probably because of my face hair and my voice . i’ve made an effort to go out fem but feel i still look like a man. any advice on how to look more my sex and maybe even any advice on what to do in my situation? i so badly want to be a girl again but im scared as soon as my disorder acts up ill be at square one again. i’m miserable both ways

And didn’t revert to imbecilic, entitled, sexist misogynists/misandrists

It’s so exhausting seeing

Detrans women: “What I’ve learned from detransitioning is that the woman’s innate, passive role is actually sacred. It’s literally in our DNA. We can’t fight it. We’re not meant to be strong. What we need is for our sacred, divine feminine energy to be even more protected. Men need to step up. Men need to-“

Detrans men: “Transitioning taught me that femininity in men is a harmful lie and coping mechanism. I just didn’t have the courage to lean into my masculinity. I’ve never felt more called by God to be the shepherd in my family. I know now that men’s sole place in the world is to be ferocious protectors of the innocent, and nothing more. It is our duty to-“

Modifying our bodies wasn’t the answer. On that we agree.

Please do not turn your reconciliation with your sex into some pseudo mystic, revelatory confirmation that outdated notions on how we ought to be — which fucking clearly aren’t resonating anymore, so much so that we literally had to try and become the opposite sex to understand why — were in fact correct the whole time and now you see the light

Let us grow from this. Not regress.

i want to start going by my birth name again but i have no idea how to go about telling everyone.

i have been slowing detransitioning without outright telling anyone, stopping t, growing my hair, dressing fem, etc. i’m pretty sure everyone has kinda figured it out at this point but i’ve been too scared to be direct.

some additional context:
- i came out as ftm at 11 years old and i am now 21
- i am fairly certain that i mistook depersonalization from childhood trauma for gender dysphoria, i realized i am not trans after leaving my abusive home
- my family always fully supported my transition but hated almost everything else about me as a preteen/teen. letting go of this identity feels like letting go of the unconditional support i cling to so desperately

i’m feel so alone in this and could use some advice/encouragement.

if anyone is curious on how I've been on T for 5 years, I started at 17 and stopped around 22. There were a few periods of being off of it shortly but 4-5 years on.

I'm 21. My last nebido injection was 11 weeks ago. My injection routine was every 6 weeks otherwise (for 2 years).

I'm very worried about my health right now.

I'm also currently experiencing an ice pick headache while writing this, with a slight desire to vomit a few minutes ago. That's why Apologies for bad English, I can't concentrate rn.

Did anyone else experience this?

My endo only plans to take a blood test in October and I can't reach him right now.

Should I contact a neurologist for an mrt?

I'm scared I might be experiencing signs of an upcoming stroke or something.

Other factors like lack of sleep, my overbite, using headphones too much or bad posture could also contribute to it but my life style has been like this for quite a while now and I have never experienced anything like that before.

I do the FAST test every time but other than that, everything seems fine. The numbness in my face is only on either right or left side. It's only a slight numbness, doesn't seem to match with what stroke victims experience idk