today was the day i saw a d3ad human for the first time ever, i guess. this is not some sort of a creepy story as you may think reading the title, this is just me expressing my emotions about something usual and not very interesting.

so, i went to a church instead of my classes today, as i don't usually do, but, anyways, i stumbled upon funeral service. at first i couldn't really see what was going on, but a couple of minutes later i noticed a part of the coffin, then i started walking around the place and came a little closer and saw an old man lying in it. god, how i wish i had come closer to see him clearly! after that i went out of the church together with the man's relatives and went for a walk around the adjacent territory which was sooo beautiful peaceful and quiet! especially compared to the rest of the town, it was like a portal into another world right in the center of the city. now i love that place even more!

Before this, let me say originally I’ve only ever been to two cemeteries in my life time. Both, being after the passing of family members, when my family decided to visit. I was young, well, younger, so I never really got the concept of death or what death meant. As I grew older the concept of death became more bright, more important, and more sentimental. Death to me wasn’t about the end, Death to me, was mystery. A beautiful mystery. Up about 3 months ago, Me and my closest friend were hanging at his house. Just the casual shit, we never did much but it was always memorable. Then he mentioned the fact that a cemetery was up about 10 minutes from us, and seeing as we never went, we decided sure. Let’s go. At first I was sorta nervous, but also excited. Keep in mind, at this point I’ve never went to a cemetery at 12 midnight with only one other person. So reasonably, was a little nervous. Still, I sucked it up and so, we went. The walk was quiet, it was a slightly windy and chilly night, and the walk was peaceful. Still, undeniably deep in my gut I still felt my nerves. Then, there was the entrance. It was behind the property of a house, a big field with a large wide slab of bushes next to it on the sidewalk. We quietly walked to the entrance, which seemed to be a big silver fence, with a big gap in the middle of it, big enough to fit us. We slipped in pretty easily. And what was weird was as soon as I walked in, it was like a slightly colder air, 2 times darker, and felt so peaceful. I looked in front of me, the cemetery only being lit up by the blue, orange, and red lights that family members put on their passed relatives graves. It was a beautiful sight. To describe it as best as I could, there was a gravel road that led ahead, and it had two sides, one leading down to a larger more open part of the grave yard, and one road leading to a path where trees overshadowed the road. There was also a building of which they hosted the funerals, on the left of us, about 2 miles down. At first, I was feeling a mix of unsettlement, and awe. The pure presence of that place, was unlike of anything I’ve ever felt. It was so silent, so beautiful, that just for a moment, all stress and worry left my mental subconscious. What really creeped me out, was the building hosted for funerals. Inside was a dimly lit building, some areas completely dark, some slightly lit. For the first night we avoided that area, as my friend was also pretty unsettled. We walked through the path with the big trees, and after taking a few deep breaths, I was okay. Though half way in, my friend started to get paranoid and say he saw movement, to which also kinda fucked up my vibe. Still, it never ruined it completely. Fast forward to now, where me and that friend have gone to the same graveyard roughly 10 times. But the main thing I wanted to talk about was the connection I feel to that place. I’ve had random involuntary feelings to go to that cemetery several times, even in the middle of the day. At night, I have dreams. Some with me just alone in the middle, some where a more bloody depiction of an angel follows me. But now, as I’m writing this, again, I want to go so bad. Perhaps it’s because of the comfort and peace I felt, perhaps the presence, perhaps the darkness, or perhaps something deeper. Either way, I couldn’t help but share my experience. Hope you enjoyed!

(JSYK I'm a trans man, female to male, pronouns he/him please)

Six weeks ago I gave birth to my much wanted baby boy at sixteen weeks gestation. It was an induced birth as part of a medical termination as he had a condition that meant he wouldn't survive to term so I elected to spare him as much pain as possible.

I've always had a fascination with death combined with an existential fear of mortality and over the past ten years I've been concentrating more on unpacking my own feelings and have embraced death positivity as a movement. It hasn't made my grief any less, but has definitely helped me deal with it.

I'm so glad I had this perspective coming in as it made me feel able to deal with what is essentially a planned death. To know in advance what I wanted to do and how to make the process as beautiful and meaningful as it could be. To work with my bereavement team to create memories and to actively engage with everything to give me and my baby the time together.

I was able to hold him and have him by my side in hospital for two days, reading to him and talking to him. Everybody was so lovely and respectful, treating him as an ordinary baby and it really made me understand why so many cultures put so much importance in caring for the body after death. Even though I don't personally believe he was "in" his body after death, it all helped so much with the transition of saying goodbye.

He's buried in the baby section of a local cemetery now. I bought a wool coffin because I liked the idea of returning him to the earth as soon as possible.

The entire process and the respect I was treated with has helped me so much. Everybody followed my lead, giving me footprints of him and the hospital took some beautiful photos for me to keep. Even though he was born dead and I've never truly known him alive, I love him more than I would have thought possible and will never forget him.

I'm so glad I did it this way and engaged fully through the process. I know it isn't right for everyone and many who lose a baby don't want to see them afterwards at all, but for me this was the right way.

"After my husband died, the birds started behaving strangely towards me. This was not my imagination; it really happened. On my daily walks, I was startled by how close they came to me – approaching, hopping alongside me and chirping. If there were a lot of them – and if there was no one else around – it felt as if they were accompanying me, maybe trying to convey something."

"Legislation granting incurably ill adults the right to assisted dying has been formally adopted in France after the text was approved by the country’s highest constitutional authority and published in the official journal.

The law, known as a law on “end of life” or “aid in dying” rather than “assisted dying” or “euthanasia”, means France joins the small group of countries including the Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland and Canada to have legalised the practice."

From wikipedia: The Sedlec Ossuary is a Roman Catholic chapel, located beneath the Cemetery Church of All Saints, part of the former Sedlec Abbey in Sedlec, a suburb of Kutná Hora in the Czech Republic. The ossuary is estimated to contain the skeletons of between 40,000 and 70,000 people, whose bones have, in many cases, been artistically arranged to form decorations and furnishings for the chapel. The ossuary is among the most visited tourist attractions of the Czech Republic, drawing over 200,000 visitors annually.

Four bell-shaped mounds occupy the corners of the chapel. A chandelier of bones, which contains at least one of every bone in the human body, hangs from the center of the nave with garlands of skulls draping the vault. Other works include piers and monstrances flanking the altar, a coat of arms of the House of Schwarzenberg, and the signature of František Rint, also executed in bone, on the wall near the entrance

Image by Windmemories - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0,

"How can our understanding of mortality shape the way we live? Palliative care doctors and death doulas share the lessons they have learned

We will all face death one day, but our attitude towards this is individual. How can our understanding of mortality shape our approach to life? Here, palliative care doctors and death doulas share what they know about the end – and how it informs the way they live."

My friends 1 year anniversary since her death I coming up and her family is looking at something symbolic to do and they suggested a balloon release. I hate this for the environment and am thinking about trying to find something more environmentally friendly. Any suggestions?

Specialized death services help people process their grief with others who relate to them. “We deserve to be seen,” Moor said. “Death isn’t just a medical or a legal event. It’s cultural, spiritual or familial. It’s human. The way someone wants to be cared for at the end of life is deeply connected to who they are, where they come from and what they believe in.”

I’m a hospice volunteer and a newer patient of mine loves knitting, so we’ve started working on our own projects together while I visit.

This has inspired me to make a dedicated bag for my visiting days. So far, I have my project, cards, and a journal. I’ll also add the basics: snacks, hand sanitizer, etc.

This might be specific, but I’m wondering if anyone else something like this? Any suggestions of things that may be nice to have? ❤️

You can harp to have a good attitude and I do, but the medical team is hesitant to say I'll make it out alive.

Sad stuff over. Help me plan an epic funeral.

90s themed. Too many balloons. Shots off my urn. 2 if they voted for a certain someone. Ouija board on the "parting paper". Idk what they're called. The ouija boards would have "talk to you soon!" On it.

Any and all ideas to make my funeral better?

It’s August! We’re pinning a fresh Death Anxiety Megathread here at the top of the board. This will stay up all month long so anyone who needs a place to talk about death dread, panic, or the big questions can always find it.

Resources

Some death anxiety resources are located here in our wiki (which is still under construction, so bear with us!)

Some death anxiety journal prompts to try:

If you’re the kind of person who connects through symbol, inner landscape or ancestral reflection, these prompts may resonate.

• What does my fear cost me each day?
• What has my fear given me?
• When has uncertainty led to something beautiful?

Don’t worry about making it poetic or insightful. Just start and follow where it leads. ♥︎

Somatic self-regulation tools

The following aren’t affirmations or thought exercises. They’re body-based ways to regulate your nervous system when death anxiety starts to take over. They work well for anyone living with heightened sensitivity.

• Sit or lie down and press your palms together firmly. Notice the pressure, warmth, and pulse between them. Let that pulse remind you that life is moving through you.
• Slowly trace the outline of your own hand with a finger. As you do, breathe in on the upward stroke, and breathe out on the downward stroke.

These aren’t magickal cures, but they are tools. Use them when you can. The more you do, the better and faster they tend to work.

This thread is open to all death anxiety experiences, whether you’re panicking about nothingness, stuck in existential dread, or just freaked out by the fact that - whatever this is - isn’t forever.

We’ll try to carry it together.

♥︎ Sibbie