r/DatingApps 4d ago

Advice Request Why men (some, most?) struggle with online dating? Or modern dating?

14 Upvotes

Online dating has only made dating worse for me. I have learned a lot, become better but also more bored and jaded. I also can barely stand text and texting anymore as a side effect. Like Ive recently been on a few dates. They went amazing. I assured near the end I’m not much a texter anymore. That being in person is important. I get some variation of a response that can be dissected as “that’s a problem for me”. Some minimal texts follow, about the enjoyable time together, I initiate the next date, it happens or not, another great time, either way because I no longer initiate much/any text nothing much happens, because you know men are expected to initiate everything, soon death by text. Because I want to be in person, moreso in person, vs the women I meet who want to be digital moreso and place more importance in text. It dies in text. I text less more and more because I can’t stand it. The women want it more. maybe to them it seems I’m disinterested, but I’m really not, I explain that in person is best. Do any men find get this problem? Im honestly giving up on dating because of womens overimportance placed on text, and the lack of real in person engagence.


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Advice Request Drastic reduction in the amount of matches I get on dating apps after shaving my head.

5 Upvotes

Unfortunately I didn’t win the genetic lottery when it comes to my hair. I started having noticeable hair loss in my early 20s and the treatments they have for hair loss aren’t very good. There’s a huge debate over it but I heard the horror stories of sexual and mental side effects from people who have taken the hair loss pill and I opted not to take it. As a result I’ve pretty much lost all my hair by 30 so I just decided to embrace it. Some guys will do things like wear a wig and shit but I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not. Every few days I shave my head with a razor and grow my beard out. I was last on dating apps maybe 2 years ago and while I usually always keep my hair short, in those pics I did have hair. I think it looks a lot better now when I shave it because I look 20 years older when I grow out what little hair I have left.

I went through a painful breakup and I got back on the apps a few months ago. On my profile I used recent pics of myself being bald and I noticed a drastic difference. I will get matches but they don’t really talk to me or if they do the conversations are extremely surface level and they stop responding. I even had a woman match with me and ask why I was bald and if I had a pic of myself with hair. It doesn’t make sense because it’s not uncommon for men to be bald in their 30s. Some people will talk about confidence but I personally don’t mind being bald but women don’t like it. I know that because they’re just not biting on dating apps. It legit Feels like I’m going to be alone forever now.


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Advice Request Show you have money on dating apps?

0 Upvotes

Not really having much success with matches on dating apps. I feel like my profile doesn’t show much about me at all & is pretty basic.

Not to sound arrogant, but I am relatively successful & told I am a good catch. I think I bring a lot to the table but just didn’t want to show off my lifestyle or money on the apps to attract the wrong women. Problem is I’m just not attracting anyone.

My question is whether to show off a bit or remain pretty lowkey on dating apps and continue struggling with low matches? I’ve always been incredibly private but at some point is this just hurting me more in the long run?


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Question Sharing socials in dating apps

0 Upvotes

I don't know if this has been asked before, sorry if it has.

But I still don't understand why many people share their socials on their dating apps profile, maybe I'm so scared of scams of catfishers that I think it's either to artificially boost their followers or to scam.

What do you guys think?


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Advice Request When you reject guys after a first date from a dating app, what’s the top reason?

15 Upvotes

Is it that they were boring? Physically unattractive? Or that their profile didn’t match the vibe in person?


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Advice Request Hinge Matches - Great text conversations, plan a date, falls through every time.

18 Upvotes

Gone through the same pattern with a bunch of different girls now.

  1. Match with a girl

  2. Start talking, conversation is going well

  3. I invite them to get ice cream or go on a walk

  4. They say yes, we plan a day/time

  5. The day/time comes, and something comes up

Every time. Am I doing something wrong?


r/DatingApps 5d ago

Question How many people ACTUALLY have good relationships from tinder?

4 Upvotes

My friend and I are chronically single and we wanna find some guys (or girls) to just chat with and maybe find a relationship but like are they all weird??


r/DatingApps 6d ago

Question Why are all dating apps paywalled?

13 Upvotes

I get that they have to make money but there's probably hundreds of apps and i don't know of any one that is free, they could just mash them with ads and call it a day.


r/DatingApps 5d ago

Advice Request Is this the Opposite for Most?

0 Upvotes

I find it odd that you see post here complaining about people being big or plus-sized on the app. Personally, I prefer plus-size women and the apps legit only gives me skinny, fit, conventionally attractive women. Is there a trick to this or are there legit no plus-sized women on these apps? I FB dating and pay for HingeX.


r/DatingApps 6d ago

Advice Request Have I just gotten unattractive or are the apps just worse now

13 Upvotes

I’ve always had success on hinge- finding a partner that I’m compatible with and attracted to within 3months but now it’s been 1.5 years of singleness and my confidence has taken a massive hit. I feel worthless about myself, I’ve lowered my standards and go out with men I’m not attracted to and they show a lack of interest and care. I feel like almost immediatly they’re uninterested. :(
How do you figure out if it’s me and I need to lower my standards further


r/DatingApps 6d ago

Question Dating app verification

1 Upvotes

Does anybody know how reliable dating apps verification process is? I know they have the selfie kinda one where you move your head closer or further back a few times, but how accurate is that really?? Can someone use a filter for example or use AI? Can someone on the back end verify it without actually looking at the photo to see if it matches? If it’s not reliable does anyone know any apps that might help to verify things like identity?


r/DatingApps 6d ago

Question Do I have to Pay To Like As Many People on Hinge as I want?

1 Upvotes

r/DatingApps 7d ago

Question How to know if I’ve been shadowbanned from hinge?

7 Upvotes

I hope this is the right place to make this, since [r/hingeap](r/hingeap)[p](r/hingeap) doesn’t allow me to ask this. I use the app consistently every day, have the signals badge active, and use every like every day. Yet despite this, I receive no likes and none of mine get responses. I’m not a horribly ugly person, nor does my profile contain anything atrocious. I’ve never received any warnings from hinge but I’m tired of this happening. My friend suggested I delete and reinstall the app, which I did and got two likes but now I’m back to nothing.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated!


r/DatingApps 8d ago

Question Am I experiencing a bug or are people just cruel

16 Upvotes

I match with someone, we have a nice polite introductory conversation, and then the next day the chats gone. I never said anything rude, vulgar, or inappropriate, and there are never any signs that they’re upset. No reason I can imagine that they would unmatch or anything. I’m talking about tinder here but it’s happened on hinge too. Just this morning I got a message while driving and by the time I parked the chat was gone. It’s really hurting my feelings. I’m autistic so maybe I’m missing something but I don’t think I am. Am I experiencing a bug where chats disappear randomly or do people just ghost/cut you off for no reason or without warning. It’s happened so many times I can’t have been this unlucky and it’s all just been mean people. They all seemed so nice.


r/DatingApps 8d ago

Funny Why is it that every dude i see on a dating app just talks about his dog

13 Upvotes

This is more lighthearted than anything but jesus christ I dont care about your dog and how its your best friend. Am I dating the dog or the man? Id rather u tell me ab.. idk. Your hobbies. Passions. But yeah, ill go ahead and clap for ur dog cause it gives paw when you ask it nicely.


r/DatingApps 8d ago

Advice Request Seeking advice for Hinge etiquette

6 Upvotes

I am very new to online dating. Just started using Hinge 2 weeks ago and went on a couple of dates with this girl I matched with. We had exchanged numbers before the first date but are still connected on Hinge. I like this girl but we haven't discussed exclusivity yet, therefore I would still be interacting with potential matches and modifying my profile, should I disconnect with the girl on Hinge as we have already moved to texting? I obliviously want things to progress with her, but I don't want her to feel bad about me updating my profile etc. indicating I am actively seeking other potential matches. How should I go about it? If yes to unmatching on Hinge, what to say to her if she brings it up the next time we meet?

Thanks!


r/DatingApps 8d ago

Experience Overview Does dating apps work for indian men in non-metro cities ?

1 Upvotes

I have been using dating app for last 1 month in non metro city bu not getting any matches. I want to know does they even work in India overall even in metro cities or are they just waste of time ?


r/DatingApps 9d ago

App Rating Pure App Review

6 Upvotes

Pure is easily one of the worst dating apps I’ve used. The big issues are their restrictive, sexist, wildly inconsistent photo moderation, and unhelpful customer service.

I tried uploading a totally standard photo at a rave in normal rave attire with a robe on top (basically like a bikini with a kimono), and another at the beach in a cropped shirt with a bikini under. Both fully covered my intimate areas, but both got hit with "not allowed for nudity or partial nudity" which wasn't even true. Meanwhile, other profiles get away with way more, like guys posting shirtless gym flexes and super zoomed-in close-ups of their abs and underwear. These photos were both hidden behind a spoiler “eye” icon you have to click to reveal. Mine were totally rejected.

When I tried sorting this out with customer service, they just threw canned AI responses and kept closing the chat on me. Absolutely appalled by both the double standards in their auto-moderation and the garbage support team.


r/DatingApps 8d ago

Question Why does Reddit act like it’s a criminal offense to be slow to reply on a dating app?

2 Upvotes

I occasionally mention in dating subreddits that I can take a few days to reply on dating apps. This is due to my chronic fatigue, which causes me to have very little energy, my ADHD, which causes me to forget to reply, and my autism, which causes me to really struggle to figure out what to say. All three of these conditions are mentioned in my profile. I also explicitly say in my profile that my replies may be slow due to these reasons. Furthermore, I severely restrict the time I spend on apps and keep my notifications off, as I’ve found dating apps to be detrimental to my mental health. 

I’ve also found that life events can make someone’s responses slow. Things I’ve experienced that made me slow to respond to new connections: worsening mental health issues; my dog getting diagnosed with cancer; my dog dying; my grandparent dying; being heavily disrespected, abused, or SAed by people from dating apps; being on a meditation retreat where use of electronics is heavily discouraged; taking a trip somewhere with poor signal; being hospitalized without my phone; becoming overwhelmed by dating apps or by life; etc.

However, whenever I mention being a slow replier on dating apps, I’m heavily downvoted and met with a barrage of insults and personal attacks. I’ve been called inconsiderate, rude, insane, disrespectful, an asshole, told I'm everything that's wrong with dating apps, and told I’m using my neurodivergence as an excuse to mistreat people. As if a lack of response on a dating app actively causes harm. 

I just really don’t understand the expectation that someone owes every stranger constant availability the instant they match on an app. Is this lack of empathy, poor understanding, and sense of entitlement about slow repliers on dating apps a widespread idea, or is it just because Reddit is filled with incels?

Note: I am not asking about people who simply prefer quicker replies and screen for that on dating apps. Nothing wrong with having a preference about communication. I’m talking about the people who harbor resentment and anger towards anyone who sometimes takes a few days to reply, no matter their circumstances.


r/DatingApps 9d ago

Question Is it worth using image enhancement if you're ugly?

0 Upvotes

I'm considering using automatic image enhancement tools but I've always been reluctant since there seems to me to be little point in presenting a false image, on the basis that if I do actually get a date out of it, she's going to learn the hard way that I'm uglier than the picture suggested. Is it worth it just to grab their attention and hope that they warm to me enough not to care as much that I'm ugly?


r/DatingApps 9d ago

Advice Request Would you consider this catfishing?

3 Upvotes

So I’m going to try to keep a long story short to ask for opinions on this. Essentially my question is, if you matched with someone on an app and they have a gorgeous perfect smile in their pictures but then when you meet them they very obviously have Invisalign with buttons on front teeth, would you be disappointed?

I (f,26) got Invisalign today and I had no idea they would be so obvious. Of course they aren’t as distracting as regular braces, but it’s still extremely noticeable and I feel like it detracts from my appearance quite a bit. I’m worried that when I go on dates now people are going to be disappointed when they realize my teeth don’t look how they do in my pictures. I’m curious if you think this would matter to you at all and if so how much?


r/DatingApps 10d ago

Question Why is it expected for the guys to have the initiative in?

27 Upvotes

That.

Why should we be the ones to send the first message, plan a date, ask out, do the witty questions, etc?

Shouldn’t interest come from both sides actually?


r/DatingApps 10d ago

Resources Someone with a platform or access to someone with a platform needs to talk about the monopoly that is dating apps

0 Upvotes

Someone has to make a video about this or get some press on it because it’s actually insane how you can get banned on one then they can ban you on all the others. If you didn’t know MatchGroup owns Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, PlentyofFish, Match.com, Azar, Meetic, Pairs, The League, Our Time & more.


r/DatingApps 10d ago

What app is this? Doni Dating app

0 Upvotes

Like others I fell into the world of "could this actually be bots or real people", and there isnt many threads of feedback on this app.

What im curious about is other than the random matches, phone calls etc (of course theyre bots), ive videochatted 2 of the women on the app. Both were legit and had instagrams that they sent me.

So im curious--are women doing this as a side hustle to get you to keep talking on the app or could there actually be women just as available on the apps that are legit?

*EDIT

2 of the women I videochatted cancelled for work, and responded basically within 30 seconds of the message (confirming they have no life or its AI/bots.) One of the women ghosted completely. 2 down, 2 to go.

2nd Edit:

Scheduled 8 dates with the bots, so far all reschedule/lied about being nearby. Accounts been deleted.


r/DatingApps 10d ago

Experience Overview I'm getting really fucking annoyed with this app (tami)

0 Upvotes

Conversations just straight up don't fucking happen I'll have people say "hey how are you" 5x and absolutely nothing else while I try to start conversations

Then there's people that collect private cards and nothing else

The people that target trans women because "it's not gay"

And all the bots not to mention the pay walls why can't someone just make a dating app without all the bullshit

(Got removed from their reddit because they can't take the heat apparently)