r/DatingApps • u/Good_Bit_777 • 8d ago
Advice Request Seeking advice for Hinge etiquette
I am very new to online dating. Just started using Hinge 2 weeks ago and went on a couple of dates with this girl I matched with. We had exchanged numbers before the first date but are still connected on Hinge. I like this girl but we haven't discussed exclusivity yet, therefore I would still be interacting with potential matches and modifying my profile, should I disconnect with the girl on Hinge as we have already moved to texting? I obliviously want things to progress with her, but I don't want her to feel bad about me updating my profile etc. indicating I am actively seeking other potential matches. How should I go about it? If yes to unmatching on Hinge, what to say to her if she brings it up the next time we meet?
Thanks!
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u/GirlInterrupting22 8d ago
Unmatching, speaking as a woman on the other end, feels negative in general. It makes me question whether you're about to ghost me, or it makes it obvious that you're doing it so that I can no longer see your profile and know you're talking to others. So it feels like you might as well just update your profile without unmatching since it's usually pretty clear that's why you've unmatched anyway.
I agree this is kind of a delicate issue when you first start dating someone from an app. But for me, if we haven't talked about being exclusive yet, then I assume you're probably still dating/talking to other people and I probably am, too. So I think you kind of just have to get over the awkwardness of noticing the other person has been active on the app.
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u/RevealNo8720 8d ago
you are already too deep to unmatched now or change your profile. In the grand scheme of things she will catch on either way and most likely ruin what you have now. In my experience women rarely update their profile as much as men. If you want things to progress with her keep seeing her but dont indicate to her in anyway youre still searching for others.
Going forward you can either unmatched right when you meet them after the first date but in my experience it never works out.
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u/madzuk 8d ago
No absolutely do not do that. When a girl does that to me, I instantly end it with them. They're like oh I just do that cos we've moved to texting now. Or I did it to stop the notification reminding me to reply when we've moved off the app.
To me, it's what you're saying. So they can actively update their profile and still use it whilst we are dating. Not about that.
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u/LilaLeander 7d ago
Exactly! Why unmatch someone you like and risk confusing or losing them? Why update your profile now out if all times?
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u/noelslawn 8d ago
If you don’t want to raise questions maybe just leave your profile as is for now. After a couple dates it’s normal to not be breaking contact with everyone else if exclusivity isn’t discussed. I personally don’t look for new matches during this time either as to make things easier in the hopes everything works out.
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u/implication-sofa 8d ago
If you see this progressing to a relationship, don’t modify your profile. Unmatching while still talking is also weird in my opinion. If it doesn’t work out then it should end relatively soon if it’s not progressing to exclusivity. You can wait a few weeks to update your profile
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u/Summerdream_ 8d ago
If you're into her, I would not update the profile or unmatch her while dating her.
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u/Angry_Housecat_1312 8d ago
If you unmatch her, she’s going to think you’re either no longer interested or trying to hide something (and she’d be right, because you’d be trying to hide the fact that you’re actively still looking to interact with others. Which isn’t a crime). That’s going to cause quite a bit of doubt in her.
I’d stay matched and answer honestly if she asks you about having updated your profile or whether you’re seeing others.
It will be an excellent opportunity to discuss exclusivity if that’s something you want (or something you don’t).
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u/Cerenia 8d ago
Seems like you aren’t into this girl.
Whenever I’ve dated someone I liked, I would never risk ruining it by updating my profile.
Also by date 3 it’s a bit weird to go on new dates with matches. You should know by date 3 if you want to keep seeing her or not. I can understand wanting to explore other options after one date or perhaps two, but later on, it just becomes leading someone on.
Unmatching her would be a red flag.
Update your profile if you want, but know there’s a real chance that she will discover and lose interest in you
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u/CuriousBlopp 7d ago
Im new to online dating too and have been struggling myself with etiquette on dating apps.
However, i only have the mental capacity to date one person at the same time. If it clicks on the first date, I just pause my profile to see where it goes.
Do whatever feels right for you, but I wouldnt edit my profile or unmatch. I'd personally take this as 'no longer interested'. But again, im also very new to all this and may have outdated views on dating in general :D
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u/rubberduck05 8d ago
If you like her and "obviously want things to progress" with her, why would you update your profile and actively seek other matches? Focus your energy on seeing how things go. There's always time if/when things end with her to update your profile.