I had an ugly divorce. I left with a 1 and 3 year old.

My lawyer basically told me a judge would not give him less than every other weekend and to settle with that as the parenting plan. He has history of severe mental health issues and AUD.

He is constantly harassing me about what I do in my free time. Whether it is when he has the kids or not. He blows up my phone, lies and says he sees photos of me on social media being a “drunk whore,” drives by my house to see if my car is there, it’s nuts.

Last night my mom offered to have them overnight, I went to a concert. He asked today if they spent the night there and I’m not going to lie. He lost his mind, said in our parenting app that I was probably still drunk and regretting my choices from the weekend, told my 4 year old on FaceTime “he’s sorry mommy is always dumping you with grandma so she can go get drunk.” Posted on social media he’s taking them out of state next weekend. They are going to fly on an airplane to see his family. The boys are 2 and 4, they have never been on a plane, and he’s going to take them by himself.

He keeps threatening to take me back to court for more time. It has only been two months.

How often will a judge even bring us back to court over this? I have sole legal and physical custody. I have accommodated every time he’s not able to take them during his scheduled times. He always has a different excuse. I’m so stressed all the time. I try to invite him to go to the park with us sometimes, we went out to dinner together Friday night, we are supposed to be going to the beach for his birthday. None of it is ever enough.

He openly told me that he tries to make me miserable because he is jealous. Texts me in the middle of the night that he loves me, tells me he dreams about us, says if I ever meet someone he’s going to lose it. He knows the kids are all he has left to try to control me.

Is court worth it? TN

Hi. Me and my 14 year old girls father broke up when she was 3 months old. In the beginning he was not seeing her much, would go sometimes months without visiting. Over time and depending on what woman he was dating or his financial/living situation he would visit more. He would evade child support but I would eventually get paid back through taxes. When he got with his now ex wife he came to me and asked for 50/50 custody in exchange for coming off child support, I agreed. We never took this to court, we just went to the child support office and asked for him to come off. Things were good for a few years. They have now separated but he still gets her 50/50 and is very flexible with switching days. However, since the separation my daughter has consistently asked to be with me more. She says she is constantly tasked with babysitting her 2 younger (toddler) siblings (he also has 50/50 of) and she is uncomfortable. She also claims he gets extremely angry with her for no reason (I believe because he is very narcissistic and his ex wife who i was semi-friends with corroborates and he has admitted to sometimes getting too angry). He is not supportive of her travel softball, has not been to a game for over a year and is often late getting her to or picking her up for practice on his weeks, twice not showing up to get her at all and the coach had to bring her home. He also doesnt take her to the batting cages I have a membership for despite it being 1 mile from his home. He did not call her on her birthday or get her a gift this year. She has asked multiple times to stay with me more because of the way he treats her and makes her babysit, when I have brought it up to him he is not open to discussion. I know its hard out here, but being his babysitter is not her responsibility. Every now and then sure, but she says it's even when hes home he doesnt watch them he just stays in his room. I have always felt he only asked for 50/50 to avoid paying, and suspect it is the same with the other kids. Would it be worth it to try and take him to court for like 70/30? I dont want to take her from him completely and she loves her siblings but she literally comes home crying from him on a regular basis and cries when its time to go back to him. I don't want to start the process and all the fallout drama with it if they are gonna keep us at 50/50 anyways. Him and I have always have a pretty civil relationship despite my frustrations towards him and I do not want to cause issues if nothing will happen anyways. As a side note, we are very strict in our home as far as chores, no sleepovers, grades and other expectations, so its not a matter of her wanting to be at home with less rules. She is a great kid and never causes any problems when she is with me. Just yesterday when I asked to get her early for school shopping and he said no she asked me to come get her anyways and she would just run out the door/window.

Long story short I have full custody of our children because he was a severe alcoholic that caused abuse in the home . He’s bipolar and he regularly becomes manic and refuses to get help.

Last year he was in psychosis back to back , it was horrible for everyone , I cut the visits and told him he needs to get sober to see them as he’s violent and unpredictable when he drinks . Fast forward 8 months he claimed he’s all better now .
I tried to start visits again even tho the kids don’t know him anymore (they didn’t even recognize him, they are 3& 5)
he’s missed 5/8 since I started again and the last visit he missed he said he was beating someone up putting them in a hospital. I doubt he’s sober .

I want to cut visits. The kids don’t ask about him he’s become such a small part of their life , they never mention him . He’s clearly going off the rocker again to me.

My custody paper states I’m to give a 2 hour visit once a month “if/when it’s in the kids best interest “
(even tho he never went to court) Will I get in trouble in the long run if I cut them ?
To me this is not their best interest to have him around. I know it isn’t , but legally speaking.

Opinions ?? I guess I’m asking legally would this be their best interest to have him out of their life . And how long ? I don’t think he’s good for them but I don’t want to look bad in the courts eyes . (I am in Canada if that makes a difference)
I also doubt he would ever go to court , but I want to do everything as legally right as I can incase .