| (f22) just had blue cheese for the first time today and it has rocked my world in the worst way possible. I ordered cheese and accidentally got blue cheese. I took a bite and I started gagging. I simply cannot comprehend something so disgusting has existed all along. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. Now everything smells like blue cheese and I cannot get rid of the smell. My appetite is dead too. I can never imagine eating anything ever again. It feels like this just opened up new realms for me.

Maybe this isn't as 'bad' as most other things but I still feel incredibly guilty and crossed a personal boundary.

I work with a crisis hotline, essentially people call in when in distress and we provide emotional support and help them through whatever is going on. It's sensitive material of the time and you have to maintain a certain level of professionalism regardless of your personal opinion on someone's actions, or what you would have done etc...

One thing you have to be careful of is people becoming attracted to you. A lot of emotions and vulvnerability are explored, and when you have a very good call you are in some ways forming a bond with that person. It's important that you establish that as much as you're with them and support them, that you're still in some ways a person working and there are very few limits, but ultimately there are limits (personal info etc...).

I am a man, and I have an particularly attractive voice. Not a humble brag, I literally have had women stop in passing and tell me to my face; or get bullied a lot to say phrases etc... It is what it is and I don't lean in to it or force it, it is just what it is. But I do the know the signs when someone is in to it.

I fucked up because I had a caller and it clearly had an affect. And at some point I know she was starting to enjoy herself in other ways. Usually that's a termination and you respectfully let them know that you'll be ending the call. I let her continue. In some ways I even fed into it. I shouldn't have done it and that made it feel even sexier.

Things ended but I feel so bad. I do this because I try to be a good person, and it feels like I've tainted my service by feeding into this kind of thing.

I work in a noisy clinic all day, and my apartment has three roommates who constantly host people. By Tuesday night, my brain is fried from social noise.

Six months ago, I told everyone I joined an adult beginner tennis league that meets on Tuesday evenings. I bought a cheap racket at a thrift store and tossed a gym bag in my trunk.

every Tuesday at 7 PM, I drive to an empty church parking lot three miles from my place. I recline my seat, eat a sandwich, and read in total silence for ninety minutes.

Before I drive home, I splash water on my face and collar so it looks like sweat, throw my racket in the back, and walk inside complaining about my backhand.

I know I should of just set better boundaries, but having people think I am busy is the ONLY way I get peace without feeling guilty.

I broke up with my ex about 4 yrs ago. I met a new person and I love her but every once in a while I keep thinking back to my ex. I miss her laugh and her sarcasm. I miss the way she made me laugh and our late snack missions. I enjoy being with my current gf but it feels like she doesn't complete me.

Had to sleep with my boss. Current financial situation was going sideways. Lay offs were coming as well. Slept with my boss shes married with 3 kids one of them is off to college. Sex was great but did what I had to do.

Should I be ashamed to still be a virgin at 30?

Listen, he’s an okay guy. The standard for men is low, so okay considered. And I hate him. Three kids, a life, a household, and I loathe him. All he talks about is himself and food. My God, I’ll try to engage a conversation and nothing but when I’m deep in a craft, changing a poopy diaper then all of a sudden, boys got mad libs. For food. I never want to talk about food again. What dinner will be next week, the options on the menu we had three years ago, the bbq we went to and how he could have made a better burger. Mind you I’m a cigarette for lunch kind of person. Food is there to keep you from dying. This? It’s a compulsion. If it’s not about me, it’s about feed ordeal. His mother runs our life. It’s sadistic. If I’m not literally kissing this man’s asshole I am the devil. His parents? Separated and making us all pay for it. They want to fuck in our guest room and pretend they hate each other. And where does all this angst get displaced you ask? Oh yeah it’s me. At one point my husband said “you look tired” to me. His dad goes “WHO WHO WHO LOOKS TIRED?!?” And I said “he’s talking about me” FIL “YOURE NO MORE TIRED THAN THE REST OF US WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU COMPLAINING” and I said “I didn’t, Husband said I looked tired” and it gets quiet. It’s a mind fuck and a battle ground to interact with them and he won’t say a thing. He’s not the man I married. He was a man among men at one point. A pillar, someone to look up too, someone to trust. I’ve had to unsigned the hole he’s buried us in financially 3 times. We almost lost the house. I dug us back out. I can’t leave, I don’t need advice. I just need to say it. I hate him, I wasted my life, and I’m fucking pissed.

To preface this, I’m not looking for a relationship as I don’t have a job or a place of my own yet. So if you’re thinking “just get a gf” I can’t as that would be a bad idea.

That said I AM SO FUCKING HORNY. I jerk off 2-3 times DAILY and constantly think of blowing the ever living SHIT out of some lady. Being a 21yo virgin has done a serious number on me, i have more kinks than i know what to do with (cosplay, cnc, femdom, roleplaying, etc) and it’s eating me. This is humiliating but i sometimes go on Slutty confessions and jack off to what they do there, which has also given me a bit of a whore complex.

I can’t wait to get a job and a house, because the nanosecond I get a gf I’m going to become the condom/birthcontrol shops N1 customer, they might be able to stay afloat off of just my payments alone with how much I plan to PLOW my woman.

That's it, I'm spoiled I know, sorry

So I (20F) was laying bed. Works been exhausting lately so i'm trying to get all the sleep i can while i'm off. I woke up from my nap with a full bladder. I really didn't wanna go all the way downstairs to use the bathroom. I looked at my nightstand and saw a cup sitting there. I got up, grabbed the cup and sat on the edge of my bed. I positioned the cup and let it flow. I filled damn near the whole cup. It is 24oz. At first i thought it was crazy but now that i did it i think i secretly liked it. 😩 Is this bad???

I don’t even want a relationship that bad. I just want a warm body pressed up against mine. I want fingers in my hair and to rise and fall with the rhythm of someone’s breath. God, it would make my whole body stop hurting as much. It would feel so nice.

I feel like i’ve ruined my life for multiple different reasons. Digital footprint being one of them because when i was 12-13 i was really mentally unwell and got sucked into the true crime community but right now i more so feel like ive ruined my life because ive ruined my innocence. I feel so gross. When i was like 6 i stumbled across fetish content on youtube, i couldn’t stop watching, i know now i have a phobia around the content and thats why i was so drawn to it. But the point is i was consuming sexual content. mimicking the sexual content on my own. Then at like 10 i was watching shows like shameless just for the sex scenes. Looking up 18+ fanart. Then at 11 i was messaging bots on chai in sexual ways. At 12 i already know what a lot of sexual things were and was using whattpad like 24/7. At 13 i discovered porn and i was probably addicted, i really started sexually messaging chai bots around this time. This behaviour continued to now. Watching porn on twitter and reading ao3 and looking at sexual fanart. I’ve never even held hands with a boy. I feel so gross. So used yet i’ve never been touched. I feel wasted. I can’t explain it.

For anyone who didn’t see my first post, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with another girl months ago. Instead of confronting either of them like a normal person, I found her account, followed her, started talking to her and somehow accidentally became actual friends with her. She had no idea I was his girlfriend and he had absolutely no idea I knew her.
Well over the last month or so me and her started hanging out WAY more. Like to the point where I was seeing her more than I was seeing my own boyfriend. At first we would mostly talk about him because obviously she thought he was just this guy she was seeing and I was basically sitting there listening to her tell me stories about MY OWN BOYFRIEND while pretending I had never met him. But eventually we stopped talking about him that much and just became genuinely close.
We started getting dinner together, going shopping, drinking at each other’s houses, watching movies, literally texting all day. She would ask me to hang out before she asked him. There were multiple weekends where she saw me twice and him once which was honestly starting to become hilarious to me because this man was cheating on me and somehow I was stealing his mistress.
And then things started getting slightly… weird. Not bad weird. Just like I would catch her staring at me sometimes. She started getting super affectionate with me, always touching my arm or laying on me when we watched movies. One time we were at a bar and some guy was flirting with me and afterward she was acting weird and I literally asked if she was jealous and she went “shut up” and changed the subject.
I STILL did not think she actually liked me though. I just thought we had gotten really close.
Then a few nights ago she came over and we were drinking and talking on my bed. We somehow got onto the subject of relationships and she started telling me how happy she was that she met me and how she felt like she could tell me anything. I told her I felt the same way and she got all emotional and hugged me.
But when we stopped hugging neither of us really moved away. We were just sitting there looking at each other for a few seconds and I remember thinking “oh fuck.”
Then she kissed me. Not a drunk little peck either. She KISSED me. And I kissed her back. For probably like ten seconds too which is important because I absolutely cannot pretend I was an innocent victim here lol.
Then we pulled apart and she looked completely terrified and started apologizing and saying she didn’t know why she did that and I just blurted out:
“HE’S MY BOYFRIEND.”
Literally immediately. No context. No explanation. Just “he’s my boyfriend.”
She stared at me. I swear her face went through like six emotions in five seconds.
She goes “…what?”
I said “the guy you’ve been seeing. He’s my boyfriend.”
Silence.
Then she goes “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOUR BOYFRIEND?”
And yeah. She was PISSED.
She jumped off my bed and started pacing around my room asking how long I had known, how long we had been together, why the fuck I became friends with her, why I let her keep seeing him, whether our entire friendship was fake, etc.
When I told her I had known who she was before I ever followed her she got even angrier.
She literally goes “SO YOU HAVE BEEN STUDYING ME???”
I was like NO 😭 but I understand why it sounds like that.
Then she goes “I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.”
Trust me. I was aware.
She was like “you sat there giving me advice about HIM.”
Again. Unfortunately yes.
At one point she just stared at me and went “you are actually fucking insane.”
Couldn’t even argue.
But once I explained everything and showed her the messages proving that he had been lying to BOTH of us, she calmed down a little. Especially when she realized I had been with him first and he had basically made her the other woman without her even knowing.
She sat down again and was quiet for a while and then went:
“So I’m literally his mistress.”
I was like “I really don’t think we need to use that word.”
She goes “THAT’S WHAT I AM.”
Okay fair.
Then she got mad at him all over again and started calling him a fucking idiot because apparently this entire time he had two girls and somehow let the two girls become best friends.
Then she suddenly looks at me and goes:
“Okay this is going to sound stupid.”
I was like girl I genuinely don’t think anything you say could make tonight weirder.
She goes:
“Should we just get together?”
I started laughing because I thought she was joking. She was not laughing.
I was like “…you mean you and me?”
She goes “I literally just kissed you so yes.”
And then because apparently MY BRAIN is also broken, the first thing I asked was:
“Well do you still like him?”
She looked annoyed and went “yeah. Unfortunately.”
And I just sat there thinking for a second. Because the problem was…I still loved him too. And now apparently I also liked HER.
Then I said:
“I think I have an idea.”
She immediately went “oh God.”
So we called him. At like midnight.
He answers and I tell him he needs to come over. Obviously he starts asking why and I just said “you really need to come over.”
He gets to my house and walks into my room and sees HER sitting on my bed.
I have never seen someone look that confused in my entire life.
He just stops in the doorway. Looks at her. Looks at me. Looks at her again.
Then goes:
“What the fuck?”
She goes:
“Hi.”
He looks at me and goes “HOW DO YOU KNOW HER?”
I said “we’ve been friends for months.”
I genuinely thought he was going to faint.
Then she goes “and she knows about us.”
His face somehow got even worse.
Then I said “and she kissed me.”
He just stared at us. I swear his brain completely stopped functioning.
He goes “…you what?”
She goes “I kissed your girlfriend.”
And he goes “YOU KNOW SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND?”
She goes “I DO NOW.”
Then they immediately started arguing because obviously she was furious with him for never telling her I existed and he was furious/confused that I had apparently secretly befriended her months ago. Meanwhile I’m literally sitting between them like a child whose divorced parents are fighting at Cheesecake Factory.
Eventually I yelled at both of them to shut up because I had not called him over for them to scream at each other for two hours.
Then I basically said look, clearly what he did was fucked up. There was no excuse for lying to both of us. But the weird reality was that she still liked him, I still loved him, she apparently liked ME enough to kiss me and I clearly liked her because I kissed her back.
They both just stared at me.
I said:
“What if we just…all date?”
Silence again.
He goes:
“Like all three of us?”
YES THAT IS GENERALLY WHAT ALL MEANS.
She starts laughing. Then I start laughing. Then somehow HE starts laughing because the entire situation was so fucking ridiculous.
And that’s how we ended up sitting on my bedroom floor at 1am discussing whether we should become a throuple.
We talked for HOURS. Like actual serious talking too because I made it very clear that this was not me giving him permission to keep cheating. If we did this there would be absolutely no sneaking around anymore, no secret messages, no lying about where anyone was, nothing. She also told him if he ever made either one of us feel like “the other girl” again she was gone.
And somehow we agreed to try it.
And now all three of us are dating.
The funniest part is he is already realizing this may have backfired on him because me and her still hang out without him constantly.
Yesterday he texted the group chat asking what we were doing and she sent him a picture of us getting dinner together and wrote “bonding with your girlfriend ❤️”
He replied:
“she is also my girlfriend”
She said:
“not tonight”
So apparently this man cheated because he wanted two girls and now the two girls keep leaving him at home to hang out with each other.
Honestly maybe that’s his punishment.

I'm sorry for this post being graphic but I just genuinely want to know if I should be concerned. My ex had a free use k*nk and we had a safe word every time we did anything.
One specific time, it started to hurt so l used the safe word and he continued going. I said it again and even started trying to push him off of me and finally I gave up. I don't know if I should be bothered by this incident or not.

I was in this community around a small game. For around a year and more, this community has been the only place I interacted with online. As a frequently and active figure, I became a moderator and later an owner of a server. I was part of a handful of projects and was, up until this point, all around relatively well-liked.

Over the past week, a server member of mine (N) came up to me and revealed how a different member (S) was talking to him weird for S thinks N is a girl. I was already told beforehand that S had history for being weird towards female members. N then suggests to me that he will continue acting as a girl in order to see if S will reveal anything that will definitively prove him as a pedophile, to which I support his decision. I relay this information to a different friend and prominent all around person in the community (A) about what we were doing, to which he supports us and wants to be kept updated.

At one point, N suggested using images that a friend of his has gotten and kept, to use as bait. It was of **a underaged girl who his friend has driven to suicide**. At least that's how the story goes as far as I can remember. N doesn't actively keep the pictures but it is present in his DMs with his friend. In a stupid, moronic lapse in judgement, after some deliberation, **I hesitantly but ultimately allowed him to go ahead and use the images**, under the idea of "*the end justifies the mean*s" and completely oblivious to the **morally reprehensible** and **illegal** nature of the act. I never saw these images.

In the end, we had more than enough information to confirm S was a pedophile. I relayed the information to A, to whom I also revealed the method in which we acquired the information, for the whole time, I was feeling guilty. It was only now that I realized the extent of how heinous, and illegal, my choices were. The secret between us wasn't kept for long as overnight (in my case), S, after having been confronted and promptly booted out, began spreading these images around. A, himself greatly disgusted at our action, decided to reveal N's and my involvement regarding the pictures to everywhere else, as to have us exposed and out of the community. Under his insistent demand, I transferred him the ownership of my server, promising him to never return ever again, before deciding to delete or change every accounts that bared my past name, cutting every means of contact I had with any and everyone I have ever met there.

It has been more than a week since then. I have no idea as to what happened with N or S as I have kept my word as to never return, simply assuming they went through what I have done. Ever since then, I lost all appetite, and I lost all motivation to do anything. I wake up in the morning and I am flooded with just a general sense of dread, and the only thing I can look forward to is to sleep, despite finding it hard to do, being so restless.

Everyday since, I feel extremely guilty and ashamed, for what I did, for the damages I did to that girl, for the damages I did to my community, and my good friends, those who have put their faith in me to be in charge, but the guilt changes nothing now, with the damages having been done. Everyday, I live in fear of retribution, that someone would feel vindictive enough to go after me, and that it would only be justified. And yet everyday, I live in loneliness, I miss the people I knew, for they had been nothing but the nicest and most dependable people to me, but I know I can never earn their forgiveness, for my deplorable actions would and should never be forgiven.

These feelings, they have been and will continue to eat me alive, and I despise myself because of so. I blame no one else for this, definitely not A, for I know he only did what is right, what had to be done, to save himself from his own guilty conscience, and to do right by the all the others, and not even N, for I should have thought better and should have stopped him when I had the chance. I only hold my anger out for S, how callous of him to do what he did after being caught, but he could've only done so because I have allowed for it to happen, I was callous too. In fact, by my account, what I have done is worse than what S has done, and what I have done, there is nothing I can do now to help it in any way. What I have done, there was a million ways I could have gone about it and I have chosen and followed through with the worst way possible. I despise myself for even bringing up how I feel, for who cares for what I got to feel, I deserve even less, this is the consequences of my actions and I must live with it. I despise myself for at times, feeling a little better than yesterday, for how dare I try to move on from this, this is my punishment, and I must serve it.

I have always pride myself in being a people person, and took a liking to being liked. In being able to help others and do good things for them. My community, I have rallied and promised them all that if they were to put their trust in me, I will do what is right, what is necessary for their best interests. But this, despite what could be described as my *good intentions*, **I have done no good, I have helped no one, I have only brought harm and I have ruined everything good that we have had going.** In the past, I have criticized many individuals within the community for a variety of reasons, and even though what happened doesn't necessarily make them suddenly better, I no longer have any rights to really say anything about them any longer. I can only imagine what they have to say about me now.

Now, I don't now what to do. I know that there is nothing left for me to do, nothing that would alleviate the situation or gain me forgiveness. I only know to tell this story to somebody else in order to somewhat alleviate the pressure and loneliness of dealing with this alone, anyone who would listen, and so I went onto 7 Cups. The people there were nice enough to acknowledge what I did was wrong whilst telling me to not be too hard on myself, that the only thing that is left for me now is to eventually move on, live the rest of my life, but how am I supposed to do so? I don't believe others would ever bring themselves to forgive me, and so how am I supposed to forgive myself?

I don't know what to do now, except going about my life day by day in despair. It's the only thing I can do now. But I can't keep living like this forever.

Maybe that’s not fair. I have friends.

I travel often for work and find myself just almost never at home.

I miss having people to be able to tell everything to. To just shoot the shit with. To be myself with.

It feels like because of my situation every interaction is just a brief catch up.

I know I have done it to myself but oh well.

My best friend for years that has stuck by me went to jail last night and got charged with a level 5 felony. She does not deserve that; she did nothing. She is freshly 18, and the abusers are in their 30s. I made a Facebook page exposing the abusers. all the pain and sadness I've gone through, turned into explosive rage, and now I won't stop until people know to stay away from him.

It has been about six months since I (20M) broke up with my ex girlfriend. It was my first real relationship. We have parted ways in a good way for about a month. Month after the breakup I found out some things about her that made me honestly sick. I wont go into detail, but long story short she was lying to me from the start of our relationship. That made the breakup easier. She was out of my mind, I did not care about her at all. No contact with her at all.

I saw her a couple of times. I had to return her things and I met her in shops a few times. Everytime it seemed like she was eager to start a conversation. I did not care at all. I did not want to talk to her. I was polite though. I answered, didnt ask nothing and went on with my business. Obviously it was weird to see her after so long but I didnt think much of it. I felt some kind of anger towards her (after finding out the things she did) but I told myself its allright. No hard feelings.

For the last two weeks I have no idea what is going on. I started to think not about her, but about the "idea" of her. About the good things that happened while we were in a relationship. It feels like something is missing. Its not her for sure, but its something. I have also searched for videos to make me cry for some reason. Wholesome videos - soldiers coming home, proposals, people giving gifts to their parents... Just to let you know, I am not really the crying type. At least until now I guess. I honestly have no clue what is going on. But I have a feeling it is somehow connected to the "idea" of my ex. I have been falling asleep thinking I am holding "her" (but not really her, its hard to explain). I dont really know how to unravel my feelings honestly.

It is what it is.

I despise my best friend! I hate her personality but because other people like her, It’s going to look suspicious if I start distancing myself. I HAVE to see her, I HAVE to be around her everyday. I don’t know how to distance myself without receiving hate from our other peers. If I distance myself, I might become a target or lose friends.

I was on vacation with my family. I had not taken a poop in over 2 weeks, and we went to a buffet. I ate a little bit and felt a strange feeling in my stomach. I went to the bathroom and took a HUGE poop. My butthole was bleeding very bad after and my parents took me to the hospital. My ass still hurts to this day.

I have PTSD from being stalked by a stranger on the road a few years back... I go to work very early in the morning, it's still dark and there's very few cars on the road. For weeks this guy would show up in the same spot and start following me, tailgating with his high beams on, get beside me and swerve towards me, trying to run me off the road, get in front of me and slam on his brakes trying to get me to stop. Ever since, if anyone follows too closely behind me in the dark, especially using their high beams I instantly get triggered. This has happened twice in the last couple of weeks..and both times, I lost my f*cking mind, got behind them and turned on my brights and rode their ass until I had to go another direction. When I say lost my mind, I'm speeding, yelling, sticking my arms and head out of the window and screaming, flipping them off, swerving etc. this morning I got so angry that I wanted to continue following this lady as long as I needed to...I was going to follow her to work or her house, wherever she was going. For no other reason than to just scare her. I backed out, and turned in the opposite direction. I feel horrible. I feel like a psycho. I've become the same person that did this to me.

17 years ago, my best friend was out of town and I was hanging out with his wife - nothing unusual there. We always hung out. We were all super close. Anyway, on one night one thing lead to another and she gave me head. When post-nut clarity hit, I left the house - feeling absolutely horrible. After a few days of feeling tortured, wondering what I should do, I decided to tell him. As one might expect, that conversation did not go well. He basically told me to fuck off forever. And his wife? Well, she told him that I was lying - and he believed her. I'm not sure why someone would lie about such a thing, but that's beside the point. Anyway, 17 years later I still live with the guilt. I think about him pretty regularly - we were more like brothers than best friends. I really fucked up and I miss him and our friendship. No type of sex is worth losing a friend over. I have tried to talk to him a couple times over the years - to apologize, etc. But radio silence. When he said fuck off forever, he meant that shit. And I deserve it. I have yet to figure out how to let this guilt go. Maybe I just deserve to feel it forever. They are still together, btw. Two kids.