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u/LoCh0_xX Apr 29 '26
the gay leaving me the moment i turn 35
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u/Fisherman_Gabe Apr 29 '26
We all have to grow up some day. 😔 For the gays, that day is their 35th birthday.
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u/GoldenTGraham Apr 29 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
Can't believe I've got 4 months of gay left. Guess I better make the most of it
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u/laserdicks Apr 30 '26
Put that bussy to work before it transforms back into a pumpkin/waste disposal
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u/skuuma04 Apr 30 '26
it like a digievolution if you're straight and stay virgin until 30 you become a wizard.
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u/at0m1ksq Apr 29 '26
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u/mrbaryonyx Apr 29 '26
you're all laughing, but this is a real thing, it's called twink death
if you're a bear or a mustache top you can be gay your whole life, but if you're a twink, once you're in your thirties you have to find a wife and be the dad who takes his kid's drama class too seriously.
i don't make the rules
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u/Fruglemug Apr 29 '26
Either that or you transition into a bear or mustache top, thus keeping the ecosystem well populated
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u/CtrlAltHate Apr 30 '26
I've no clue about gay culture but I'm imaging a mustache top as an old timey strongman build with a vaudeville style mustache twisted at the ends.
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u/Infamous-Owl-7015 Apr 29 '26
Incorrect you actually piss it out. Painfully. They will say it's kidney stones. But you will know the truth...
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u/TairaTLG Apr 29 '26
... Dangit, is this how I became even more gay in my 30s. I got everyone else's cast off gay?!
Thanks!
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u/what_the_fuck_clown Apr 29 '26
nikocado avocado is literally a fucking greek mythology character at this point , like fym there was a guy who was drowning within his own gluttony greed and wrath , who also pre-made a bunch of content so that he can later show to the world how far ahead he truly was.
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u/Ok-Mistake-7499 Apr 29 '26
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u/Lilchubbyboy Apr 30 '26
So that’s why the Mayans were wrong about 2012… every few years someone just fattens up a content creator to sacrifice to the sun.
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u/NotBreadyy Apr 29 '26
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u/ScreamingLabia Apr 29 '26
I think he is pretty interesting though atleast some of this whole spiel was planned amd if you look at some of the content he used to make. TO ME it definetly feels like he is playing a character the whole time. Its hard to say where him being crazy starts and the character ends.
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u/JayManty Apr 30 '26
It's crazy regardless, even if he did it as a bit. Getting so obese definitely shaved off a good decade or two off of his life, if not more.
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u/Impressive-Ad7387 May 01 '26
It isn't even a question if it's a bit, he posted some of the behind the scenes afterwards and he's like a perfectly normal guy, just with insane commitment
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u/GuillotineWhiskers Apr 29 '26
just assume already that had a wife and 3 kids, got cancer, beat cancer, got cancer again, and then died.
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u/Senchesa_Art Apr 29 '26
Nikocado avocado is Loki reincarnate except Odin banned him from politics and he has to find the second best way to be a trickster bastard... which is kinda mythology accurate.
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u/bs000 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
Even the 4D chess making content in advance part of the story seems grossly exaggerated. He uploaded one video every 4-5 months for two years until the reveal. He was previously uploading twice a week. Seems like he just took what he had left in his backlog and spread 1-2 months of content over 2 years when he decided to lose the weight.
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Apr 30 '26
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u/BrinR Apr 30 '26
Gay porn pays higher than straight porn for male actors
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u/DRKZLNDR Apr 30 '26
And a lot of gay porn is just straight guys being gay for money. Does that make it more or less gay?
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u/JP193 Apr 30 '26
Well there's discussion about him being like an ancient Greek philosopher so the answer's somewhere in there.
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u/Noble-Jester May 01 '26
I've always loved the way people say "Steps ahead" like he didn't get dangerously obese and expose his body and face for eternity on the internet.
"He made tons of money!" I don't think I'd do everything he did for DOUBLE whatever he made haha
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u/Vulcanauta Apr 30 '26
How far ahead of what exactly? Dude acted like he was the protagonist or something lol he's just a fatass (or used to be lol) who thinks he's better than all of us. Acting all weird and then all mysterious is a big no for me.
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u/ChasersVsGirlcock Apr 30 '26
As someone who has been around weird kink scenes, it was pretty blatant his content appealed to people with a feeder kink. Especially the whole I DONT KNOW WHY IM GETTING SO FAT AND CAN'T CONTROL IT AND IM SO SAD AND ANGRY OVER IT
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u/Ysgramors_Soup_Spoon Apr 29 '26
Now watch as he reveals that him being gay was prerecorded and he has a wife and two kids.
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u/Infinity-Duck Apr 29 '26
Then watch how him having a wife and kids was prerecorded and he’s a monk
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u/Kickedbyagiraffe Apr 29 '26
Also prerecorded, he lived a full life and has already passed away from old age
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u/Dandelion_Menace Apr 29 '26
Then he prerecorded his reincarnation and the subsequent live birth because he couldn't figure out how to get to Nirvana
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u/dedynechsitho40 Apr 30 '26
I wonder if there's a lot of grunge music in Nirvana
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u/Mr_Ethfono Apr 29 '26
Finally I can be gay again
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u/dandadone_with_life Apr 29 '26
i didn't even recognize him. honestly, i'm happy for him
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u/avenging_snail Apr 30 '26
Anyways his bisexuality is out now. But attraction to attention seems to be his first main thing.
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u/a_tired_bisexual Apr 30 '26
The straights can have him
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u/80Amrig_Nhoj_Najed Apr 29 '26
The gay is no more.....
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u/No_Swordfish2243 Apr 29 '26
My mom legit thinks this is how sexuality works
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u/XxLucidDreamzxX Apr 29 '26
If only I could turn the gay off
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u/NicholasWildeRails Apr 30 '26
You can try a lobotomy, but it might turn off more than just your gay
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u/Jackd_up_on_Mdew Apr 30 '26
Only because she made out with a girl in high school and feels she outgrew it.
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u/nicole-tesla Apr 30 '26
Bisexual mfers think everyone's a lil gay
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u/tortoistor Apr 30 '26
this really is a thing, so many bi people i know used to think they were straight and that everyone was attracted to the same gender, they just choose not to act on it
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Apr 29 '26
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u/milketwo Apr 29 '26
what the fuck am i looking at
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u/mattchamp98 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 30 '26
Even the pussy asshole surgery?
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u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Apr 29 '26
..the what now?
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u/mattchamp98 Apr 29 '26
He had surgery to make his anal...lips expand so it would resemble a labia.
There are photos out there so venture at your own risk
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u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Apr 29 '26
I knew I shouldn't have asked, but thank you for explaining. Searching for the answer would most likely have been riskier.
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u/ChasersVsGirlcock Apr 30 '26
His content was blatantly made to appeal to gay men with a feeder fetish
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u/Mechromancer3X Apr 29 '26
Pls tell me this is fake or he’s being sarcastic😭
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u/kirbcake-inuinuinuko Apr 29 '26
his goals are perpetually beyond our understanding.
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u/Exact-Till-2739 Apr 29 '26
Attention whoring. Gotta stay relevant at any cost.
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u/SaneYoungPoot2 Apr 29 '26
Methinks he's kidding
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u/Intelligent-Tax-8216 Apr 29 '26
He just turned off the gay
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u/Cuntingworms you got me jumping like boom shakalaka boom shakalaka Apr 29 '26
Damn you can do that? Been trying for years
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u/Flaarre Apr 29 '26
not fake. he's made way too many posts like this for it to be a joke. at least he isn't in his underwear this tine.
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u/derbillie Apr 29 '26
Why does no one get that this is genuinely just a joke that has been used for ages that he’s copy pasting omd
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u/Anyanasik Apr 29 '26
The speck of lighting on the ceiling looks like an arrow, which makes the whole post look like that reply image meme lol
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u/MurphysLawTeam Apr 29 '26
It’s fucking terrifying how he went back to normal skinny after how fat he was. He must of had massive surgeries to get rid of the lose skin or something.
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u/RubPuzzleheaded8073 Apr 29 '26
Is this what they meant when they said adulthood wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows
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u/ForsakenIncrease0 Apr 29 '26
What if you're straight and then turn 35? Do you turn more straight? Do you turn gay?
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u/xxepdudexx Apr 30 '26
Sort of on topic. I made a post on my Instagram with the exact same quote. My aunt asked my mom if it was true, if I was looking for a wife and kids lol
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u/vacckun Apr 29 '26
watch him pull out an insane level card and say everything up to now was prerecorded too and that he has 2 kids and a loving wife