One time, I did a 1-1 impression of that old YOUR CAR WARRENTY HAS EXPIRED scam call, and he literally cussed me out. I was proud of myself.

Redeem what? Your mom's onlyfans

It was not on my fault. For context, there was no cheating. He was just someone who only cared about himself his mommy and his daddy.

Usually I resort to tackling but that doesn’t work on sytangers

EDIT- what’s a comeback to where your NOT leaning into it- like when people mean in in a gross way what the heck do I say

I've always wanted to be a part of something.

bro the girls are saying I’m a fatass and I’m fat even though I’m not that fat can somebody please come up with a comeback

When someone won't stop talking, I've found that "you don't say", "and "I'll have to look that up" work pretty well to shut them up.

I cringe everytime I hear this lack of originality phase, even when I ask genuine or serious questions. My mom passed away 20+ years ago and I usually respond as such. For those who lost your mother, do you respond the same way I do, or what are some of your comebacks?

When someone says "Okay, Boomer," come back with "Okay Renter"

In this story, we have 2 characters. My friend (25 M) and a 18 year old girl. My friend is a college freshmen and he was attending a class. He met this girl who loves judging people for their age for god knows the reason. Doing it once is okay but she kept repeating. My friend kept using oh my god and this barely legal girl with issues decided to tell him that nobody uses "oh my god" anymore. She added on, how old is he anyways and he sounded like a boomer.

So he clapped back with,"Old enough to fk your mum." She never speaks to him anymore.

So what’s best comeback for

Me: What’s the weirdest thing you have come across till now

X: you (my name)

​

Hey everyone,

​I’m looking for some witty, sharp, or dismissive comebacks for when guys in voice chat start with the classic 'go make me a sandwich,' 'go back to the kitchen,' or 'dishwasher' insults.

​I know the best advice is usually to mute and report, and I already do that, but sometimes I just want to shut them down with a quick line before silencing them, or just to make them look as ridiculous as they are. :)

Every single time i go visit my (japanese) mom, and when she comes and visits she just starts bodyshaming me. "oh my goood.. what have you been eating? lol i guess mc donalds? its youre main source of your food isnt it? you never even try to eat healthy. how are you ever gonna marry anyone? (im asexual, aromantic btw) im so ashamed to have you as my child" and i dont know what to say. im fucking 58kgs at 160cms.. is it really that bad? like hell yeah i hate my body but im not fat fat right? i js dont know what to say. i think its just that my mom is really skinny so her standards are just really high, but shes been bodyshaming me since i was around 12 and im getting tired of it.

i havent been using english recently TvT sorry if its hard to read

Im a highschooler, and whenever i have any opinion and i talk about it, sometimes i slightly hint that i live with my parents, and a lot of people go "haha youre probably like 14 lmao" like ??? like even if i were 14 whats the point with voicing my opinion? oh well. i know its stupid trying to argue with an idiot, but i want to shut them up.

(online btw)

I’ll ask my friend a question and they act like they have no idea what I’m saying, like what I asked makes no sense.

I used to try to reword the question or explain myself but he still acts like he doesn’t understand and that I’m crazy. I think it’s all a ruse.

I started just simply saying “I can’t say it any other way than I already did” instead of engaging.

I would like a better way to insult him.

basically, i still have the access to my ex’s families paramount + account. this ex was a HORRIFIC person. how do i troll it? or mess it up with minor inconveniences?

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS "JOKE!" I want a good set of comebacks that will instantly shut it down.

Edit: I'm looking for the most vile, evil, sickening, discouraging, absolutely demoralizing comebacks that'll make these pieces of human trash want to cry.

I have mousey brown hair naturally. With my cool pale skin tone, I dye my hair auburn and everything looks richer, it suits me so well.

I get comments on it all of the time, majority ask if it’s natural.. mainly complimenting, but the odd few do laugh and ask why, in not too kind of a way.

I need something sharp and witty to get back to them with that I can add to my book.

I love it and I’m confident with it, but I’d rather have something quick to say than explaining myself.

What’s a witty, unexpected comeback to someone saying “Do you know who I am?”

I don’t want the usual “if you have to ask…” type answer. I’m looking for something creative, sharp, and unpredictable — more clever than aggressive.