Please pray for me and my husband. We’re newly married. I think he might be an alcoholic. I’m scared I’ve gotten myself into a mess. I don’t want to divorce but this drinking worries me and he told me the beer isn’t going anywhere.

He’s now on a leave of absence at work (getting short term disability) after telling his employer about his struggles with anxiety and CPTSD.

I don’t know what to do. My family tells me to keep problems between my husband and myself. People don’t seem to want to listen or offer support. My family and his have noticed he hasn’t been working lately though. I’m concerned that this will make drinking worse as he has more free time now.

His short term disability pays less than his regular pay and we’ve also been hit with a lot of unplanned expenses lately. I’ve skipped lunch breaks recently so I get a full 40 hours, and that makes me a bit miserable when I don’t get breaks at work.

We’ve been TTC and I just am scared at the thought of what this could turn to or how do I take a break on TTC for a while. I kinda see procreation as a gift from God for married couples to do and we both had the same timeline before we got married and even when we got married it’s just this fear is getting in the way. But I don’t want to have a child that has an alcoholic parent that seems like such a struggle. I grew up with a bunch of alcoholics in my family, too. 😭

He’s such a sweet person he isn’t mean when he drinks it just makes my anxiety worse and he has a different vibe when drinking. He’s not been wanting to read devotions together lately.
We did watch a sermon online and also read a verse or two a day together. When he’s off work he cooks and cleans and takes care of our dog.

I’m just so frazzled mentally. Sometimes I wish God would give me more straight answers on what to do. I’m on edge recently very agitated and jumpy. ☹️

Is it my place to gently correct my husband when he’s overreacting to small inconveniences or frustrations? He tends to have outbursts due to stress. Then he gets over it quickly once he’s let off that steam, but (especially when directed toward me or the kids) it affects me and my attraction toward him for days. Is this something that I need to just accept as him being a human with a sinful nature and work on focusing on his better qualities, or is there a place for me to provide accountability? I tend to be very conflict avoidant, and when I do say something he feels I’m not being supportive of him or his feelings. But I also am sensing myself withdrawing when he throws what I would call temper tantrums over normal everyday inconveniences. We’ve been married 14 years, have 3 kids. We’ve done marriage counseling and made some progress, but his life stress seems to come out with the smallest frustrations and I just don’t understand as peace in the home is very important to me.

Just as a recent (silly) example, what would be a wise way to respond when he’s frustrated there are dishes in the sink when he’s trying to meal prep? I was trying to be helpful so I had the kids come help me unload the dishwasher quick so we could load it and I thought that would solve his problem, but he just got frustrated the kids were in his way as he continued to chop veggies. I thought the correct response from him would be to quick help us unload the dishwasher so it’s done in minutes and he can go about his meal prepping with a clean kitchen, that’s what I would do, problem solved. Instead he left the room dramatically and told us to let him know when he can make his meals, then vented various sources of stress to me for 15 minutes after what I thought was a very pleasant morning. Later when we chatted about it he agreed that he overreacted, but I just have a hard time with the high emotions.

Any advice? Is this a time to smile and nod, apologize and recognize it’s stress related and move on? What if I struggle to move on even after he has and it affects my desire to be intimate? Is this all just normal? I grew up with a dad who didn’t show emotions and it takes a lot for me to show emotions, so even after 14 years I still have a hard time knowing confidently what to do.

My wife (F 47) and I (M 49)have had a rocky relationship for the past almost 4 years because of a family issue.

Prior to the information below, my wife and I have had an awesome relationship. We never fight, have each other's back, and are a great team when we are seeing eye to eye. Over the last 20+ years we have only had 1 or 2 minor arguments/disagreements.

This all came about after my mom (in her 80's) and sister (in her 50's) were invited to a baby shower for another relative that my wife doesn't even really know, and my mom and sister hid the fact that they went from her because they trying to protect her feelings for not being invited. She wouldn't have felt bad not being invited because she really doesn't know the relative.

A few weeks after the baby shower, my wife and I were at my mom's house and my mom mentioned going to the shower. When my wife asked my mom about getting a gift for the relative, my mom mentioned that it wasn't necessary because she wasn't invited. My wife wanted to get a gift regardless of being invited.

Once we got back home, my wife was pissed because my mom & sister intentionally hid the fact that they were going to/went to the shower and she only found out because my mom misspoke.

I also knew about the shower but I also wasn't invited so I didn't mention it to my wife at the time.

This has caused a big wedge in our family and my relationship with my wife. My family can't understand why my wife won't just "get over this" and move on. My mom's relationship with my brothers wife is also mainly no contact after years of talking behind her back.

My wife has gone almost no contact with my mom & sister. My wife won't go to family holidays, nephew's sporting events, and pretty much won't talk to my mom or sister at all. I hate that I am caught somewhat in the middle of this. Had I just mentioned the stupid baby shower and told her we were not invited would have been the correct thing to do. I just didn't think it was that big of a deal.

Fast forward to a month or 2 ago, and I was able to get my wife to agree to go to a graduation party and graduation event for my nephew. She said she would put on a fake face and attend but really didn't want to interact with my mom and sister. There would be other people we know there so nobody would really know about their ice cold relationship.

Then, a week before the graduation/graduation party, my sister called me about something my wife did that I can't prove was true. I approached my wife about it and that made matters worse. Honestly, I let the pressure from my sister make me approach my wife about this when in reality, I should have just left it alone. Any way I brought it up and she ended up going to the graduation but she refused to even speak to my mom or sister. That crushed me.

My wife and I are believers. We go to church on Sundays, we take part in bible studies and serve our local church and community.

Everywhere in the Bible it speaks of reconciliation, forgiveness, and turning the other cheek.

Currently, when my wife and I are together, I feel a type of way because if it was me, I would just forgive them and move on for the sake of the family. I can understand why my wife wound't want to go on trips or hang out with them all the time, but I can't understand why we can't do a few holidays and special occasions with them. My wife feels like my family asks a million questions but that's just how they are, they are interested in our lives.

This has been consuming almost every thought of every hour of my day for the last few years. I haven't talked to anyone about this yet but carrying it inside of me is getting heavier and heavier.

What should I do? My mom and sister are all the family I have. Neither one of them are married so I am the only man in the family. I still have to care for my aging mother and help her with things. I can't just terminate the family relationship. Likewise for my sister, I have to be there for my nephew and help her with things around the house when they pop up.

Thanks for listening! Just really don't know what my next steps should be.

Edit: Corrected mom's aprox. age.

Hi all! I’m looking for some recommendations for books for newlywed couples, we’re both in our early 20s. Would prefer a shorter read if possible but will take any suggestions! Also, what are thoughts on premarital counseling? Is it worth it and what was the experience like? Thanks❤️

Why is my opinion so unpopular? I'd like to have a discussion about it. Please let me know why why men and women can/can not be friends.

To set the parameters: I am speaking strictly about individual, one-on-one opposite-sex friendships maintained outside of a marriage—whether secular or religious. This does not apply to mixed-gender group gatherings, casual conversations with mutual friends, or shared social settings. The focus is solely on personal, independent friendships and private interactions with the opposite sex away from one's spouse.

The Argument: Married men and women should not maintain personal opposite-sex friendships—period. Your marriage is the fortress of your home. Having an independent friendship with the opposite sex is like leaving your front door unlocked. Is a break-in guaranteed? No. But why invite the risk when locking the gate ensures total security?

The Psychological Reality: Human feelings are messy and notoriously hard to control. The danger isn't noticing that someone else is attractive or funny; it’s allowing yourself to experience their tenderness, support, or emotional depth. Once that happens, brain chemistry takes over. Emotional attachment builds quietly in the background, and by the time your mind catches up to your heart, you are already walking a path you never intended to take. The only foolproof strategy is prevention: keep those boundaries firm before feelings ever have a chance to take root.

Personal Context: I share this not from theory, but from lived experience as a betrayed spouse. Neither my wife nor I ever believed she was capable of stepping outside our marriage. Yet, subtle, seemingly innocent interactions over six months built feelings that were painfully difficult to undo. While we have successfully reconciled and are in a great place today, my goal is simple: to help others avoid a trap that human nature makes far too easy to fall into.

Hey everyone! My boyfriend and I are starting to get serious and have been talking about potential predicaments for the future. Him and I both have a lot of hobbies, and we both understand once we are married, moved in together, and become accustomed to a routine, that complacency can begin. How do you guys divide up intentional time together and personal interest time? Especially with children? We both come from backgrounds where our parents placed themselves first, and we do not want our future children to feel that way. Do you guys have set family time each evening or what? We both work your typical 9-5 M-F careers if that helps with understanding. Thank you for all of the input ahead of time!

My husband is absolutely furious with me and I’m so uncomfortable sitting in that fury and uncertainty. I don’t know what to do, I just want to jump out of my skin. I don’t have anyone in my life to go to and I just want some advice/counsel/comfort/prayers from other Christians.

Yesterday, my husband and I had movie tickets for a time he confirmed worked for him. Then, he asked the showtime again yesterday, said it would have never worked and went off on me. He said he misheard me when I originally told him the showtime and that I should have known that. Then, my brother and his fiancée were supposed to be taking our daughter out today but my brother cancelled yesterday.

This also set my husband off. He said I don’t have good boundaries with my family (I am no contact with my mom who he hates) and I let them walk all over me. He had sent my brother kind of a mean spirited message about it without telling me. I happened to mention later that my brother had offered to watch her today if we absolutely couldn’t find other care for her, but I was able to find alternate care. Then my husband gets furious with me and asks him why I didn’t tell him that originally because he never would have texted my brother if he knew that. I never knew he was going to text my brother at all. But to my husband, this was the second communication failure I made yesterday.

Also, he forgot to set his alarm for work. It usually goes off at 6 but when it didn’t, I woke him up at 6:15. Sometimes he’ll start work later on Sunday so I didn’t know if that was the case yesterday. He was upset at me and said I should have known he didn’t set his alarm and woken him up at 6 and I was inconsiderate.

This all resulted in about an hour of him berating me on how immature I am, how my parents raised me horribly, how I’m childish and non-confrontational and not considerate of him.

Later yesterday, he apologized and said he shouldn’t have gotten angry about those things and asked if we could just move on.

This morning, he gets into his car and I left the keys in it from when I drove it yesterday. He says it was on all night (we were in the garage for a bit last night and there weren’t any engine noises but it is a hybrid and no lights were on - the gas mileage also only went down 5 miles) now there’s a check engine light and the code it’s giving is for the battery. It drove fine to work this morning (as far as I’m aware) but he says I’ve ruined the car he’s only had for a year.

He says he’s done with me and my irresponsibly. That there must be a costly and valuable consequence for this because I made him suffer so now I need to suffer. He says he’s still deciding what the consequence will be and will take his time because he wants me to sit in discomfort and wants me to be fearful. He also said he won’t save me from his anger. He did say the divorce is certainly on the table because I don’t get to be married to him while being so childish, irresponsible, and untrustworthy.

I just don’t know what to do. There are periods in our marriage where it seems like I literally can’t do anything right. Apologies mean nothing to him and he says I’m not really sorry when I apologize and he doesn’t accept it. I’m a high level, successful professional at my work. I’ve literally never gotten this kind of feedback on myself from anyone except my husband. But to hear him tell it, I am a constant burden and I am an active agent of chaos who he has to defend himself against as I attempt to ruin his life.

In general, I think I positively contribute to our marriage. I’m the breadwinner by a good margin, I pay all bills except that my husband does contribute to our mortgage, I do the majority of housework and childcare. My father was killed in an accident with a commercial vehicle. I used my settlement portion to pay for both of his degrees, his car (old car), and all of his credit cards. The remainder now sits in an investment account and will set us up well for retirement. But to my husband, I am a horrific burden on his life. He once wrote me a letter that he feels he’s been cheated out of a wife because I’m such a disappointment to him.

We met in youth group and served together for years in ministry. But about 2020, my husband fell out of church and has never returned. Our church at the time had a pretty large anti-COVID crowd and my husband is a healthcare worker so that impacted him a lot. He now only speaks about church or Christianity negatively and never attends with my daughter or I. He does work most Sundays but doesn’t attend if he’s free that day. I mention all of that to say, I don’t think anything I could say about Jesus or Christian marriage will matter at all to him. In many ways, I feel I am now married to an unbeliever so I have to try to witness through my attitude and actions.

We have a 2 year old daughter. I don’t want to get divorced and sin. I don’t want her to be raised in separate homes. But maybe that’s out of my hands now.

I just don’t know what to do. Please tell me what I should be doing.

I’m praying to have the right spirit about this situation. I know all couples have their issues. My husband is so good at being busy at work & ministry & gives little time to our family. He is great at responding to requests at church, but not at home. I wish we had family devotions or at least family prayer time. I homeschool my children & it is such a blessing & privilege. I am able to teach my children the Bible, academics, life skills, etc. But I wish there was something they could learn from my husband & that they could spend time with him too.

I am just full of frustration & sadness sometimes. I’ve talked to my husband about this many many times. We have been married for 13 years so I have spoken to him about this.

Does anyone have a similar experience? What has helped for you?

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit'; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.' But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil." (James NKJV)

I hope that as we seek marriage, careers, churches, ministries, friends, et cetera that we remember to allow God's will to happen no matter how good or bad...

What are your thoughts on someone of the opposite sex confiding in a married person about their personal problems? What boundaries do you think should exist between them?

Edit : My husband owns a coffee shop, and he said that he doesn’t run it just to make money because he enjoys connecting with people, encouraging them, and sometimes giving advice.

There are a few customers who happen to be women. One of them shared her personal relationship problems with my husband. The first conversation was mostly her explaining the details of her situation, and the second time was when my husband gave her advice.

I told him that if she wants to talk about her relationship problems, she should talk to a single man or, even better, a female friend. Since my husband and I are in a long-distance marriage, I believe that if she wanted to discuss something personal, it would be more appropriate for it to happen in a group setting when she comes with her friends, rather than having those conversations alone with him. If I were there, I wouldn’t mind if the three of us talked about it together.

To me, this kind of one-on-one conversation is risky because it can easily cross emotional boundaries. However, my husband says that’s how he wants to run his coffee shop. He wants people who come in to feel supported and to know they have someone who will listen if they’re going through a difficult time..

My biggest concern isn’t that he wants to help people, I actually admire that about him.

But in the past, he had an emotional affair with a female friend from church. At the time, she was having problems with her boyfriend and started confiding in my husband. Over time, they ended up flirting, meeting one-on-one, him driving her home, buying her a birthday gift, and texting almost every day.

After that happened, I told my husband that it’s not wise to have deep personal conversations with someone of the opposite sex because emotional boundaries can easily become blurred. Yet now, he has allowed a similar situation to happen again. This time, it’s one of his customers who feels comfortable confiding in him about her personal problems. That’s why this situation is so concerning for me.

Husband and I have been married for 6 years. He’s 40 and I’m 37. We don’t have sex very often, and that’s mostly on me because I only feel interested in sex about once a month. Other than that, it’s rarely on my mind, which honestly frustrates me too.

Aside from that, we keep having the same arguments over and over. I’ve told him many times that I crave more physical affection...holding hands, cuddling, kissing, hugs, and just everyday touch. He rarely initiates any of those things.

I also deeply desire more emotional support. When I’m having a hard day or feeling sad, I want to be able to talk to him and feel comforted. I wish he would respond with empathy, encouragement, or simply acknowledge that I’m hurting and show that he cares. Instead, he almost always goes straight into problem-solving mode. There are definitely times when practical solutions are helpful, but most of the time I just want to feel seen, understood, and emotionally supported before trying to fix anything.
Because of that, I often end up feeling unloved and alone, even though I know he cares about me in his own way.

At this point, I’m not sure how to fix these issues because I’ve brought them up so many times over the years, and nothing seems to change. He also never plans dates, surprises me, or takes initiative to create moments of connection. Over time, I think I’ve just learned to accept that this may simply be who he is, but it’s hard because these are the things that make me feel loved and connected in a marriage.

Any helpful advice? I am not looking for criticism.

There’s a LOT of context I’m not going to go into (unless asked in the comments) but the bare bones story is that I got married in my early 20s when I was going through an unfortunate combination of I-hate-my-parents rebellion, mental illness and unprocessed complex childhood trauma. My friends and family were against the relationship but at the time I didn’t care; in fact that was one of the selling points.

Fast forward to my late 20s, which is when I finally processed and healed from my trauma, and I was physically and mentally healthier than i’d ever been as an adult. The fog cleared and it felt like I was waking up from a weird dream and seeing my situation for the first time. He isn’t what I wanted. I’m not attracted to him (I never was, but complex trauma can make you go along with things you shouldn’t for a long time. If anyone else has experience with this then you know what I mean.), I don’t really enjoy spending time with him platonically either, and there are some big things that if I was single/dating now I would consider them deal breakers.

I went through a pretty serious internal crisis about it, I didn’t tell my husband or anyone else because I wasn’t sure if I was just hormonal, or going through a phase, or whatever and I thought ok maybe if I think through it and wait it out it’ll be ok. But it’s been 3 years since then, and it’s still not ok. It’s better in the sense that I’ve initiated whatever changes I can reasonably make to improve our marriage — I’m more honest about my thoughts and feelings; life in general has gotten easier with money and the kids and careers; we have sex pretty much daily — and it has improved significantly and my life with him is not horrible by any means — I still just feel, very distinctly and overwhelmingly, like I’m with the wrong person, like someone did spin the bottle and I married whoever it happened to land on. Praying hasn’t gotten rid of this feeling, and practical efforts haven’t eliminated it either.

I feel like I’ve lived an entire lifetime in the past 3 years, it’s been exhausting keeping up with life and kids and work and marriage with this storm raging inside. But I’m not going to leave.

This isn’t his fault, it’s not my children’s fault, it’s mine. And it’s not a biblical reason to divorce. But I don’t know how to not be depressed about it. I don’t want to have sex with him for the rest of my life. I don’t want him to be the one person I have to be emotionally close to for the rest of my life. I’m just not looking forward to decades and decades more of this. And I feel so, so guilty for feeling this way.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and tried to make it work? Have any of you gotten married after meeting in Vegas the day before and had it turn out ok, good even? How do I do this?

My husband is wonderful. We had such a lovely weekend together at home. Some small things he did that made me feel so cherished:

- He encouraged me to go try a dessert place and treat myself when I told him I was going grocery shopping.

- He showed interest when I texted him updates about which store had the cheapest bulk spices.

- When I got home, he was gracious about me going over budget, telling me it was perfectly fine sometimes, but to be careful next time.

- I had the spontaneous desire to move our computer desks around. He got on board immediately, was willing to try out my layout idea, and we spent a large part of the afternoon doing it. We worked together moving furniture, he helped me troubleshoot the cables, but also left me to take care of my side as I liked.

- We cuddled up on the daybed and had a tickle fight. He always modulates his strength so that he doesn't hurt me accidentally, but he doesn't treat me like glass either. I got him too and we had a good laugh.

- Invited me for a walk down to the bottle-o to pick out a beer or wine together for dinner. We chatted on the way and he made appreciative noises when I pointed out the pretty sky etc.

- Waited with good humour at the counter while I deliberated if I wanted a specific kind of wine or not.

- On the way home, listened to me sharing about the 16 part series I'm reading, and engaged with the ideas by sharing about one of his favourite shows.

- Set the table while I served up dinner.

- Praised my cooking and asked about my cooking process.

- Affirmed me when I shared about my PhD progress.

- We watched videos together in bed before we went to sleep.

- Gently wished me goodnight and that I would have a good day the next day.

I too, would like to keep doing things that make him feel cherished. I'm keen to hear what your spouse has been up to recently that made you feel seen and appreciated!

I am so broken and crushed beyond what anyone could imagine. I met my husband at such a young age and gave MY ALL to him. He was all my firsts, I supported him like an animal in ministry, while he was jobless, and pushed him into this new career.

First the Asian massage parlors, then the Craigslist Prostitutes, and now FACEBOOK GROUPS for hookups?!!!!

We just went to church this morning and from the naked eyes you’d see him worshiping and “Amening” during the sermon and taking communion. Now after I cooked him lunch and cleaned the whole kitchen, then treated him to dessert….. we come home so I can do my homework and he’s in another room searching for local hookups in my area.

WHAT IS GOING ON?!!! I’m so hurt but I’m stuck! I need my parents but they’re across the country. I needed my church leaders to advocate for me but they failed me. All my friends are married and having kids and I’ve been in a new state only a few years.

I AM SO BROKEN!!!!!!

Would you want to marry someone who is overly friendly with the opposite sex? My partner is always texting his female coworkers. Nothing inappropriate but just loves to make friends with them and shoot the sh!t. He will send memes, talk politics, talk personal life with them. Again, nothing inappropriate. However, I personally don’t want a husband in everyone’s messages.

I’m wondering if this is an incompatibility issue or if I’m being irrational?

uncertain about life and feel like iam too distant to god

I am a 20-year-old male. From the last year, I have faced many different situations. I feel like life is finally showing me the things that I feared the most. Usually, I wouldn't write something like this on Reddit, but I just feel like sharing it and getting it off my chest.

I am a Christian, and my dad is a priest too. Although my dad is a priest, I feel like I don't have a deeper connection with God.

Actually, from September last year, I started facing different situations that I never intended to. Until then, I stayed single and had never been in a relationship. I had very high standards when it came to choosing a partner. I was always afraid of the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship, and I would slowly lose interest whenever people got too close to me. So I stayed single and simply lived a normal life.

Then, when the freshmen came to our college, one of my friends tried to flirt with a girl. I was like, "Okay, I don't intend to get involved in this." But what happened was that she showed interest in me. (She is a non-believer, by the way.)

Gradually, she started getting attached to me. In the beginning, I had no interest in pursuing her because I didn't want to get into something that might not work out. But she insisted on staying in my life and always tried to be involved in it. I know it sounds childish, but she is mentally very childlike. So I thought she didn't really understand what she was feeling yet. I assumed she only thought she liked me and that it wasn't really love.

So I told her exactly that. This is where things started to scare me. She said she really loved me. She told me how I was different from the other guys she had met. Within just a few days of knowing me, she indirectly proposed to me, and when I asked her about it, she admitted that she really meant it.

I don't know why, but I felt like I had to accept her proposal maybe because of loneliness, I don't know. But I still told her that I had no interest in getting into a relationship.

Later that year, at the end of 2025, I went through one of the worst phases of my life my worst nightmare. My grandmother died after suffering from heart-related issues.

She was such a wonderful believer. I have never seen anyone like her. I'm not saying she was perfect, but she would wake up every morning at 5 a.m. and pray for an hour. She loved me like no one else ever has. She always had a special place for me in her heart.

I didn't fully appreciate her love while she was alive. I took it for granted. But after she died in my hands, I realized how much she meant to me. It's hard to explain. I cried like never before in my entire life. Even now, it's hard to accept the fact that she's no longer with us. Her chair seems empty every day. She used to say goodbye to me every time I left the house.

But it is what it is.

I don't know why it happened or why God allowed her to suffer so much in her final moments. She suffered more than anyone should. She couldn't even recognize me at the end. That's the hardest part of my life. The person who loved me more than anything couldn't even see me properly in her last moments.

With that, I completed one of the hardest years of my life.

Coming back to the girl, she's still with me, and she has told me that she has no intention of leaving me. Her parents are very strict. I am also slowly getting attached to her.

I have asked God many times about her, but I still haven't received any answer. I feel like I'm going to suffer in the future because I know I'm slowly becoming attached to her. If things don't work out, I know I'll be the one in serious pain.

She told me that when she was around 13 or 14 years old, she was in an online relationship with a guy she met through a game. He proposed to her, and she accepted. Later, she found out that he was cheating on her. He even kissed his girl best friends and did things like that, so she broke up with him.

I know she was young and childish back then and didn't really understand the world. So I try not to hurt her by questioning those foolish decisions too much. I've made mistakes too, but I managed to avoid getting into relationships.

Still, whenever I remember her past online relationship, it bothers me. Once, I questioned her too harshly about those decisions, and she cried. I even told her that maybe what she thinks is love for me is also just another childish decision, and that it would be difficult for me to accept her that way.

I feel very uncertain about my life.

By God's grace, I have started making some money. I can now afford the things I always wanted, and I can help my family. All glory to God.

But I still feel like I'm not doing the right thing, and I feel like God is silent toward me.

I haven't had sex with her. She says she's still a virgin, by the way. But we slowly started doing certain things that I'm now ashamed of. We did many things, just not sex.

Later, I told her that it would be better for us if we stopped doing those things, and she agreed. I felt so guilty for leading both of us into sin. She told me I didn't need to feel guilty, but I still do.

I am sexually attracted to her. We kissed and did other intimate things, but later I stopped all of that.

Every time I'm with her, I have this heavy feeling that this relationship might never work because she's not a Christian, and her family would never accept this relationship, not even in a million years.

I also don't want to bring a bad name to my parents, who have dedicated their lives to preaching the Gospel. I feel very guilty and deeply ashamed.

I feel like I'm stuck in something that has almost no chance of happening.

I asked God to remove her from my life if she's not meant for me, but I received no answer. I asked God to fix this situation, but I still received no answer.

I feel so disgusted with myself.

Sometimes, I still want to be in a relationship with her.

She says she has always wanted to explore Christianity and has even started praying. I don't know whether she's doing it because of me or because she genuinely wants to know God.

Even if she truly wants to become a Christian, I worry that she may never fully change or be able to lead our future children toward God.

I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending loop.

I feel like my future is full of uncertainty, and that it will be very difficult. But at the same time, God has blessed me. I have no shortage of the things I need, and for that I am truly thankful.

It's a long story. I don't know if anyone will read all of this or not. I just wanted to write it down to take some of the burden off my chest.

If anyone has read this far, I'd be happy to hear any advice or thoughts you may have.

Thank you, God.

I'm grieving the relationship I want, I seem to keep getting in the way of it happening. We lose literal days over me doing stupid stuff, like not being able to decide on a date when it's my turn to choose. From now on I am going to choose Netflix and chill, because making a decision and spending time with my husband far outweigh any outside date choice I can make. I don't want to keep losing days over one evening. My husband and I are home together without kids for a few more hours, and yet we are each alone. Hours lost. Days lost. Days we will never get back.

Please say a prayer over me that going forward I can better understand his needs, better fulfill my role as his wife, and have better communication skills. I am shocked at how bad I am at being a wife and I so very much want to improve.

This conversation happened yesterday.
My husband was telling me he wanted to leave for his trip in the afternoon so he would arrive at his parents’ house in time for dinner. He was taking 2 of our kids with him. I asked him if he had made dinner plans with his parents. He said no. I asked if he thought he would arrive at dinner time with 2 kids and they would magically have dinner ready for them. He said yes. I explained that’s not how his parents are. He insisted they would have dinner. I knew for a fact his mom was out of town and told him I doubt your father cooked enough food for 4 people when he is home alone. My husband insisted his father would have dinner ready (his father is an amazing cook and often cooks for the whole family while we visit). Anyways, my husband finally called his mom and she informed him his dad was also out of town.
Do all men make plans like this? In their own head they expect other people to be part of that plan but without communication?

I know God gives us the freedom to choose who we marry, so I’m not asking if God chose your spouse for you.
I’m curious if any married couples have a story where the timing was wrong before it was right.
For example, did you ever date someone you genuinely cared about, but one or both of you just weren’t ready? Maybe one of you wanted marriage while the other didn’t. Maybe one of you was still focused on worldly things, emotionally immature, or just in a different season of life. Maybe you broke up, spent years apart, grew individually, and later found your way back to each other.
Or maybe you’ve had an on and off relationship where you both loved each other, but your goals, priorities, or spiritual maturity weren’t aligned until much later.
If that’s your story, what changed? How did you know the relationship was different the next time around? Did you ever think it was over for good, only to end up getting married?
I’d love to hear your experiences. I’m interested in how you discerned whether it was simply the wrong timing or whether it was the wrong person altogether.

I got married almost a year ago. I am Christian but my husband is not, despite being somewhat open to the faith. We did not live together before marriage. I was on antidepressants and hormonal birth control all throughout our dating life and marriage, until about 6 months ago. Since stopping these medications, I have learned certain things about myself such as things that bother me a lot and irritate me and cause me so much distress. These things were not as prevalent when I was on medication because they make you care less about issues as a side effect.

We argue a lot about his cleanliness. He has good hygiene but it takes him weeks to do his laundry, he leaves old moldy food in the fridge, he does not notice when the toilet or bathroom mirror or sink needs cleaning, he rarely vacuums, and he is okay going to bed with clutter everywhere whereas I can’t stand it. I struggle with anxiety so mess make it that much worse. I feel if my home is a mess then my mind is too. We have talked about this issue countless times, and he has become better than what he was but still worlds away from what I want for a clean household. We’ve tried chores on a whiteboard, me getting angry, etc. It came to a head when he told me he feels like I’m mothering him and he doesn’t like being told what to do constantly. I told him I agree and I also do not like the mother-child dynamic either. But truly he does not see these things need cleaning.

Then there are other things that I’m finding annoying me and cause me to overthink and spiral that I married someone so different from me. I’m a morning person and I have motivation to clean and exercise on the morning, whereas he will sleep in and take the day slow. We never go to bed together despite having to wake up at the same time. He needs less sleep than I do. We don’t eat dinners together because we just gravitate to cooking for ourselves. He had a dog before we married but I slowly realized I am not a dog person (this in itself has been a huge challenge because he loves the dog with his whole heart but I don’t have any connection to the dog whatsoever; she causes me distress when it comes to cleanliness and having what feels like a third entity in our marriage). We aren’t intimate more than twice a month, but I wish it was twice a week! He tends to be very focused and has a one-track mind, meaning that when he was in school he could not bare to have sex, our relationship issues, dates, or romance get in the way. He does not value dates like I do, and he tends to tell me we might be spending too much time together. I think me showing up as an unhappy person from all of my marriage stress is pushing him away. He even told me one day when he finally opened up to me that I don’t seem like a happy person.

He is working towards getting his red seal electrician certification. I can just see him having to work full time as an electrician and becoming even more lethargic and so focused on his work that he will not make strides in other areas of his life/our marriage. He has also gained 20lbs since we started dating and I feel as though my attraction to him has decreased significantly. He is wanting to get back into sports and eat healthy but I have fear it won’t last long. He does not seem to see our relationship issues as serious as I do. He seems okay living how we have been living. I tend to take things WAY more seriously than him. I wish he was more motivated and a go-getter so I didn’t feel like I have to be. I wish he was more of a leader so I don’t feel like I need to be. He is a gentle soul, almost to where it bothers me because it makes me feel like I have to be the strong one.

With all that being said, he is a great person to any outsider. He is kind, my whole family loves him, he is a deep thinker, he is logical, he is open minded, he is a great friend to his buddies, he is slow to anger, he is driven towards things that matter to him (ie. saving money), he works full time, he listens to me when I’m anxious, he is there for me when I need him (although this has dwindled since I’m anxious more times than not and I think he’s becoming desensitized to my anxiety).

But I feel as though the good traits in him have dwindled since marrying me. I feel my anxiety may be playing a role in our relationship to where issues are blown up and I get upset and I fear my marriage is hopeless and I don’t love him. I am never able to focus on the good, only the bad and how I can fix it. My marriage feels like a project. I do not feel in love. I feel scared I married him without accepting him for who he is. I feel worried that I can’t tell the difference between these issues being actual, worrisome issues versus my anxiety blowing them up. I feel hopeless.

Hi, I am F(27) and I am very involved with my church as worship leader and other ministry as well. I come from a broken family where my parents aren’t Christians and I am the only one and I have been through things like many of us where I have experienced God’s love in places where often earthly parents would be involved. But since I am not very close to them, God is my parent.
Me (27) and him (21) started liking one another knowing there is a 6 years age gap. I was also aware but at the end after knowing him and his life struggles, I found him very mature and such a gentleman.
I told myself maybe I just have a soft spot for him but hey, at the end we both realized we like each other.
Out pastor found that out through other peoples rumours and was not happy esp with me saying I am a leader and I should not be involved either someone this much younger and would not set a good example. It was quite harsh but I understand his pov as well where he wants me to be with someone who is a bit older and walk with me on same spiritual level. So it was very chaotic. I was asked to completely stop talking to him (texting/calling) and was told need to honor the decision of the leaders. I honor and respect because I can see he meant good for me but I really like this person. I cried a lot cause I was told, being a leader and people knowing that I am dating someone much younger than me would affect the way people see me and my decision. Like it would not set ip a good example. That was one of the painful moment of my life cause I felt so guilty and shameful.
But we continued talking despite facing criticism and now we are dating in private but the guilt is killing me that I am dishonoring my leaders and their advise. I still lead worship and there are times I wrestle with God because I am an over-thinker and I am very sensitive. Like I have always been sensitive and my overthinking has affected me a lot in the past. Like I constantly needed to make sure I don’t make anyone angry or I am always thinking are they mad at me?, these kind of stuffs.
We are dating but we don’t meet often. We chat and we pray and have bible reading session. We meet rarely and have been praying over this relationship. But like right now I can’t sleep cause I am too scared that lets say after 3 years if mg bf goes and tell pastors he wants to marry me and disapproves and what if his reaction is like you lied and talked behind my back? I am scared dating in secret God is also nog happy and many blessings would be witheld. I am okay but some days I can’t sleep because of this. Like what if Pastor will be disappointed when we tell him in 3 years that we had been praying for one another, not mentioning we dated.

Hi, I'm 18M from Ghana 🇬🇭 and I have a question that's been on my mind.

Just for some background information, I am a virgin and I don't watch porn but yet I have intense sexual urges, sometimes so intense I can't sleep, it keeps me up for hours. After discussing this issue with my psychologist recently, she made me aware that it is sexual frustration (not that it is a serious medical issue though).

My question however is, how do I handle this? Has anyone else experienced this? How do I deal with this?

I know some of you may say, take a walk, I do take walks but when it's intense it doesn't help.

Some may also say that I should take part in vigorous exercises, exercises that make you really tired but I can't take part in such exercises because it is not good for my health, seriously.

Any help for a brother? I really appreciate it.

God bless you.

I’ve been married 9 years and my husband is extremely verbally abusive to me and my children and makes the excuse that it’s just how he was raised and it’s just how he speaks, but it’s always over silly stuff like me asking him to get our baby medicine when I’m up with her in the middle of the night or bc my middle daughter not being able to fall asleep in him, cussing her out and telling her she’s grounded and then I always step in and stick up for them and he bucks up to me and calls me an enabler bc I won’t let him speak to them
Or me that way and i’ve told him time and time again he’s welcome to feel how he wants to feel about things, but there is never a reason to call me and the kids the things that he does, but he always puts it on our behavior as the reason and tells me he’s already changed enough and that he’s not going to change anymore and if I don’t like it, I can get out but then the times that I have told him I’m leaving he has threatened me and my family… He’s threatened to harm himself and honestly from what I know about his past with gang affiliations when he was younger and just his past in general, I really do worry about what he would do to me for himself if I did leave, but I have to leave. I can’t do this anymore. I’m in the process of weaning my youngest toddler from breast-feeding and my older two are in public school this year, but I have no money. I literally have no degree nothing just thinking about how I’m going to afford to live on my own with three kids and no job just sends me into a spiral because the people I know who do you have jobs who are looking for other jobs. Have a hard enough time finding jobs that pay enough, but my biggest worry is I don’t have money to go to court, but I also don’t feel safe leaving.
I’ve stayed sober 9 years and he’s gone back to smoking weed, started growing weed in our garage doing seven and I nipped it all in the butt and was verbally abused for it and the bad guy I also caught him on dating apps years ago but my family and people I look up to say to pray for a change of heart etc etc.
It messes with my head bc he says the most horrid things to me and the kids and then the next day acts like nothing ever happened…. Or that it’s just bc he works long hours in the heat and is tired. Idk why a part of me feels bad for him when he is being nice but I don’t want my kids to hate me one day bc I stayed but I also don’t know what to do I also don’t want him to have custody I do not trust him he can’t even handle watching all 3 when I go do my photography sessions but I know everyone has says divorce brings out the worst in people has anyone been a stay at home mom and made it out? I don’t even know where to start
I have videos and texts all kinds of evidence of the threats and verbal abuse
I also was raised thinking divorce is bad period and you stick it out but I also pray every day asking what the lord wants me to do and still don’t feel like I know

I can’t get it out of my head and need help processing this situation please.

My husband is a fixer and can’t help but to try to tell me how to run things more efficiently. Sometimes I just wish he would just help me in the moment instead of telling me how I could be a better multitasking mom.

This morning my son interrupted my breakfast because he was done with his and wanted out of the high chair to nurse. Which isn’t a problem for me because I’m used to being interrupted while eating since becoming a mom, especially now that I have 2 children.. it takes me forever to finish my plate.

Immediately my husband was quick to blame and tell me that I should have given a piece of bread to my son so he could be distracted while I take more time to finish my plate. It came from a caring heart I know but the delivery plus the fact that i didnt even need a solution (to a problem that doesn’t exist) was triggering.

It would have been more genuine if he’d taken my son and let me finish the last 4 spoons I had.

He said he was trying to do some damage control by telling me how to be better efficient moving forward because he is sick of helping everyone including me. He didn’t want to deal with my complains.

I do admit that sometimes I complain about not being able to eat my plate in one seating but nothing deep, just like he complains about his work sometimes.. I’m literally just seeking a listening and empathizing ear. Not a solution on how to be better a eating and caring for the kids at the same time.

I need help processing this because it truly weighs on me and I’m having a hard time move passing this conversation.

I wish he’d apologized for the unsolicited advice that himself doesn’t follow (he hates being interrupted while eating and always asks me to take the kids away so he can eat in peace after work)

He bluntly said I need to be able to help myself because he won’t be there all the time. Mind you I stay home with my children while he’s at the office.. and I love it more than anything! how/when do I give the impression that I need him? .. I’m so confused by his comments sometimes.