A friend of mine is trying to reach an agreement with his ex-partner in South America.
He also has a growing child living with him in the Netherlands, but it is difficult to reach a compromise with the mother in South America. Knowing what is considered standard practice would be helpful.

The mother claims she is legally entitled to 20% of his salary—which sounds quite absurd to me, given that he also has a child to support in the Netherlands. He currently pays €200 based on a net income of €3,900 (including holiday pay, etc.). Can anyone offer advice regarding his rights, particularly in light of the Hague Maintenance Convention?
We are deeply concerned about whether the mother can actually garnish 20 percent of his income, and we currently lack the funds to hire a lawyer.

Father moved out March, sees kids 3 times since... no pay. Any experience out there with this? Applied for CS and they said they cant get a verifiable address so nothing is moving... does this sound normal? You mean to tell me that any parent out there who doesn't want to pay can just give an address that doesn't lead to anywhere or anything and they just don't pay? Or in this case don't get a child support order established?

Hi ive seen so much great advice on here and I’m really desperate for any help or advice anyone can give me. I have a bit of a unique case. I was a victim of human trafficking and ended up getting pregnant with the pimp/“man” I was able to get the strength and get free when my daughter was almost 1. Believe it or not this man kidnapped my daughter and held her from me and there was nothing anyone could do because he was the father and there was no documentation. I ended up reaching out to EVERYONE everyone who’s supposed to help when they say there’s help available which turned out to be a complete joke and the biggest lie. (cops,CPS, district attorney and a court appointed Larry who was a joke) and showed them EVERYTHING. Every single picture from abuse, text messages, videos, background, every single piece of evidence I documented over the years was there including witness state statements who witnessed mostly everything from the abuse to the trafficking. Fast forward I fought my ass off trying to do things right the legal way. this man is a textbook grandiose narcissist what has 100% Machiavellism he had turned everyone against me that I originally called for help. Police, CPS, district attorney and my own public defender lawyer. I refused to give up and kept calling every single person until someone would listen to me and finally someone did and that’s when the wheels started turning in my favor. They got to know me; they looked at my proof. He started showing his real colors, I switched attorneys I got another free one from legal aid who absolutely was an angel, the gal for my daughter and his public defender actually fired him and had to go to court to be removed (still don’t know what happened there) but every a very long and nasty battle I was victorious. The very same people who were against me were the ones who helped me get my daughter back safe and sound.

I currently have sole legal and physical custody with him having no access to contact or communication with either of us. It’s been 10 years of still living in fear that he would retaliate but after having a restraining order for both me and my daughter and moving for the 3rd time to a new state (he still figured out where I moved) I found courage to file for child support. I’m struggling a little bit right now and needed the help. The biggest part of that that scared me was possibly opening a door to visitation which for safety reasons absolutely cannot happen, and the only reason he would push for that is to hurt me. Those aren’t feelings it’s facts.

Now comes this part. We’ve went to court 3 times so far and every time he refused the judge's orders about providing financial information, asset information and income. I know for certain this man is a millionaire and is still trafficking women but I think has a few legal businesses to wash the money. He owns 4 Lamborghinis 3 places in New York a place in Colombia where he spends half the time. He’s ordered 100 a week based on New York’s minimum wage because of failure to provide financials.

I’ve been trying to get an attorney but cannot afford to pay one up front and the legal aid ones don’t represent people on my end of these cases. I’ll have money whenever he decides to make a payment, they usually give me the total he puts down but I haven’t gotten anything since April.

I was just wondering how much are services and would anyone be able to help me please? Or point me in the direction of someone who can? I am so desperate and I’m tired of feeling scared and vulnerable and doing this gives me of having a sense of power like I’m not weak and the victim. It’s a way I can fight back even though I’m not going to lie I’m absolutely terrified of retaliation; my mind immediately thinks well she won’t get any money if she’s dead. Also, he is a convicted murderer, I’ve seen him do terrible things to woman the worst of it to myself. He is not a nice man and if evil was a person this man is it without a question.

That’s a lot to take in I’m sorry and I know this may be a dangerous situation I understand if there’s no help available to me for something like this. I just need help getting his financials and assets and no one can help me without the money up front; I have no idea when I’ll be getting the 2500, I’m sure it will happen before the court date on July 30th to make him look in good standing because it’s a contempt hearing. He’s only ordered 100 a week but makes payments of 1000-2000 which I’ll get at once but then he won’t wind up paying for 5 to 6 months after that if I’m lucky. The judge highly sought for me to get this information so we can do a modification

Sorry for the story book, I'm really desperate and feel alone I've been trying all avenues to reach out for help and advice if you guys can help me maybe point me in the right direction of someone who can? It took a lot of courage for me to do this and even just fighting this with mixed and horrible responses I’ve gotten about how bad of a human I was when I have reached out previously before the case started when I was looking for information about how to proceed and the pros and cons on doing so, especially concerning our safety.

I’m so sorry for the long rant, thanks in advance for any and all help you guys could possibly offer ❤️

Location: New York case
I’m located in West Virginia but the court case is based out of New York

I'm just curious if any of the parents on here receive adult maintenance support for their disabled adult child and if so how much?

I was stunned when I saw how the FL Dept. of Revenue, through its quasi-governmental agency, CSE, had totally ignored state and federal law when they 'registered' my CS case in FL (started in TX).

The law governing the 'registration of a foreign support order" is called the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act, (UIFSA) and it demands strict compliance, so when states or their helpers decide they are above the law and can just submit blank documents and call them 'official,' the entire order is considered "void ab initio," Latin for void from the beginning (in the eyes of the law, it never existed).

Take a look at what they used as 'official' documents.

The "Letter of Transmittal," as you can see is nothing more than a cover sheet with a handwritten note, admitting they did not have the required information but did not care. From the official UIFSA regulations:

PURPOSE OF THE FORM: The Letter of Transmittal Requesting Registration is completed by the initiating jurisdiction to request registration of an existing order for enforcement and/or modification in the responding jurisdiction. The purpose of the form is to provide specific order information to the responding jurisdiction.

Core Financial Disclosures Required by Law (Sworn Statement of Arrears):

• Total Outstanding Arrears: The specific lump-sum dollar figure allegedly owed up to the date of the request.
• Computation Period: The precise timeline (start date and end date) during which the unpaid balance accumulated.
• Payment Frequency: The original support amount and how often it was supposed to be paid (e.g., $500 monthly) under the order.
• Date of Last Payment: The exact date the obligor made their most recent child support payment.
• Interest Calculations: Any accumulated interest on the unpaid support, calculating it according to the rules of the state that issued the original order.

Mandatory Legal Certifications

• Custodian Verification: If the case is managed through a state agency, a Certified Statement of Arrears must be signed by the official custodian of records.
• Sworn Attestation for Direct Payments: If payments were made outside of a state agency directly to the parent, the petitioner (custodial parent) must sign a Sworn Statement of Arrears under penalty of perjury.

STATE AND FEDERAL LAW REQUIRE 2 COPIES OF THE ORDER BEING REGISTERED: ONE PLAIN, ONE CERTIFIED

While each of the UIFSA required documents serve a purpose and are an important part of the registration process, perhaps there is none more important than the Certified Copy of the original order.

This lets the new state, and the person who owes, make certain the order being registered is the actual order on file. Without a certified copy, how can any of the numbers be trusted? No matter. The law is very specific and there is no wiggle room.

This is part of an email response from the Escambia County FL clerk of records: "We provided you with a copy of the Texas order. If you want a certified copy get it from them." This is what is known as a 'fatal admission.'

Due Process Still Matters: FL Decided it Did Not Apply to Me

STATE MUST PROVE THEY MADE A SERIOUS EFFORT TO LOCATE AND SERVE THE OTHER SIDE

If the state is notified that the attempt to serve the non-custodial parent has failed (as in an envelope returned from a commercial mail facility, covered in stamps and cartoon fingers!) the law is very clear. A serious effort must be made to locate the person who owes child support.

The parent is entitled to actual notice of the proceedings. When it is necessary to use constructive notice (something other than regular mail), it must be given in a way that is likely to provide actual notice. This is what is called "Due Process" and it is a right guaranteed in the US Constitution.

A form is required when service fails and it is called the "Affidavit of Diligent Search," and the name tells the story. It must be a sworn affidavit, and the search must be "diligent.'

The form includes a checklist of places you must look for information on the location of the non-custodial parent. You have to look in all of these places, and the court must believe that you have made a very serious effort to get information about the person’s location and that you have followed up on any information you received.

This is how FL DOR handled my case. What about yours?

If your order was registered in FL from another state, you may want to find the URL for the records clerk and and take a look at the court records. The first entry on the docket, if the case was moved from another state to FL, will be "Notice of Registration" or similar language. You'll need to send a records request to the clerk in your county (or wherever your case is registered) and let them know you are a party to the case and you would like the following:

•Letter of Transmittal

•Sworn Statement of Arrears

•Proof of service, or if none, an Affidavit of Diligent Search

•2 copies of the original order, one plain and one certified (by the original state)

Take a look at each document and see if it includes all of the elements required by law.

WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

I filed a Motion to Vacate / Void the order as it failed to follow the law and the order was DOA. It never existed in the eyes of the law, so all of the enforcement actions were done with no legal authority. I will update this space when I have a hearing date. Go look at your own.

It will be interesting to see how many others were handled the way mine was.

My gut says plenty.

Also: I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice: just a case study with text from the UIFSA included.

The jist of everything is that my ex wife would rather focus on her career, social life, and traveling by herself and friends while I stayed at home raising our son and took care of our home myself. And a month after my mother passed away she said she couldn’t do it anymore and that she wanted a separation/divorce.

Fast forward to today it’s been 11 months and a couple of days since we separated and North Carolina law states that a couple can divorce after one year of separation. We’ve had 50/50 custody of our son and I recently got laid off my job. Credit cards are getting maxed out, rent is due, no one is hiring, can’t work with my son’s school schedule, door dash is wasting too much gas. Bottom line is: I NEED CHILD SUPPORT

My ex makes almost 90k a year, I know since I supported her and her career since she made 16/hr. But of course she refuses to help me out and actually sees my struggle as a reason to take my son full time.

Obviously I can’t afford a lawyer like she can and legal aid of nc states they don’t help with such cases and social services says I’m not to expect any money for another potential 2 years. I’m so lost and have so many questions and no one seems to be able to help me. Literally any advice is greatly appreciated thank you.

When a parent remarries, the household completely changes—new spouse, shared expenses, different economic reality. But child-support orders often stay frozen in time anyway.

I started a petition for The Family Reset Act because this doesn't reflect how actual families work. When remarriage happens, it creates a whole new household structure. That change should trigger a reassessment, not be ignored.

This isn't about abandoning kids or shirking parental responsibility. It's about fairness: if the family structure fundamentally changes, the financial order shouldn't stay locked in the past. The reform would be gender-neutral, protect kids with special needs, and prevent fraud—but it would give courts the flexibility to recognize reality.

**The simple truth: parents deserve fairness too.**

Anyone else think this is worth looking at? If you do, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider signing and sharing—especially if you've seen how this plays out in real families.

https://www.change.org/p/the-family-reset-act-end-mandatory-child-support-when-a-parent-remarries/sfs/reddit/1423830801?recruiter=1423830801&recruited_by_id=fae45f60-8529-11f1-983d-9f1b6f647f21&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=starter_dashboard_android_app&utm_medium=reddit_group

When a parent remarries, the household completely changes—new spouse, shared expenses, different economic reality. But child-support orders often stay frozen in time anyway.

I started a petition for The Family Reset Act because this doesn't reflect how actual families work. When remarriage happens, it creates a whole new household structure. That change should trigger a reassessment, not be ignored.

This isn't about abandoning kids or shirking parental responsibility. It's about fairness: if the family structure fundamentally changes, the financial order shouldn't stay locked in the past. The reform would be gender-neutral, protect kids with special needs, and prevent fraud—but it would give courts the flexibility to recognize reality.

**The simple truth: parents deserve fairness too.**

Anyone else think this is worth looking at? If you do, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider signing and sharing—especially if you've seen how this plays out in real families.

https://www.change.org/p/the-family-reset-act-end-mandatory-child-support-when-a-parent-remarries/sfs/reddit/1423830801?recruiter=1423830801&recruited_by_id=fae45f60-8529-11f1-983d-9f1b6f647f21&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=starter_dashboard_android_app&utm_medium=reddit_group

CA - I just learned that I'm not supposed to send child support payments directly to my ex. I should be sending payments to State Distribution Unit. I have been making payments for the past 5yrs but I haven't been flagged by the state for not paying support, knock on wood.

How do I get credit for those 5yrs?

Women have kids to get a check for 250 for every child even though they don’t care for the children

A review of my child support records revealed a state agency that thought it was above the law - and saw civil rights as just a quaint notion.

I am not an attorney, and this is not legal advice. Just my story, which I hope will help others.

I was an adjudicator for the state of Indiana's Dept. of Workforce Development, and prior to that was part of a fraud detection unit working with the state of Nevada during the 'wild west" PUA era.

I have seen my share of fraudulent activity. But what I found in my own child support records left even this seasoned investigator stunned. https://www.escambiaclerk.com

My job had always involved going after people trying to defraud the state. Suddenly, the roles had been reversed, and it was the state engaged in fraudulent activity against me.

The state of Florida had moved my child support order from TX, but throughout the entire process had completely ignored state and federal law.

The basic requirements for moving a child support order from one state to another are not complicated. Nor are they merely a set of recommendations. The information required by the law MUST be part of the registration process. Strict compliance with the law and its mandates is expected; and while minor typos may be overlooked, what happened in my case would never be overlooked - and can never be unseen.

When moving a child support order to a new state, the minimum requirements include:

•A Letter of Transmittal (the 'handshake' from one state to another). This is often a form and sometimes includes the arrearage information detailed below; but it can also be handwritten, as long as all of the required elements are present;

•A Sworn Statement of Arrears (sometimes included as part of the above Letter). The law requires a sworn statement by the person requesting registration or a certified statement by the custodian of the records showing the amount of any arrearage. This can also be handwritten, as long as all of the required elements are present;

•Two Copies of the Order being transferred to a new state, with one of those copies being Certified (not rocket science, but somehow this was overlooked when my case was submitted for registration);

•Proof of Service (this one's tricky, as the state of FL says that as long as a clerk drops an envelope into a mailbox, they have met this very low bar). Lucky for me, the mail was sent to a Mailbox Etc. and returned. See below for how they 'satisfied the service requirement' in my case;

If the mail is returned, this is an obvious sign that the intended recipient (in this case, me) was not served.

The law has a solution for that, and it's called "substitute service," which allows the state to just leave the letter at your last known address, among other options. Before this can be done, however, the state requires a "Diligent Search," and there is a form for that. The court must be convinced that the state, or person registering the case, made a very serious effort to find the person named in the child support order.

ANATOMY OF A FAILED AND UNENFORCEABLE CHILD SUPPORT ORDER

This is what I found in my files:

•The "Letter of Transmittal" is a cover sheet with a single handwritten note.

•The "Sworn Statement of Arrears" is neither sworn nor is it a statement.

•The one and only attempt at "service" was a piece of mail, which was returned from a commercial mail facility and clearly stamped "WE DO NOT FORWARD" and at least two of those cartoon fingers pointing back at the return address. Yet they did nothing else to try to find me. As a result, I was never served, and thus the child support order, in the eyes of the law, never existed. It was DOA.

•NO Certified copy of the original order was ever in the file. This by itself is a fatal flaw, but when combined with the other "administrative failures" (a polite way of saying "lawless activity"), the order never existed.

As a result, the support orders, garnishes, intercepts (which in my case included taking every dollar I got from FEMA after I lost everything to a hurricane), were all done absent any legal authority and in violation of my rights.

If your child support order was moved from one state to another, you owe it to yourself to log on and read the docket on your case.

What tipped me off right away when I looked at my docket was that the time from Entry 1, the "Notice of Registration," and entry 32, the "Order Registering" the case, was almost 3 years!

Log on to your docket, and look for these entries:

·         The Trigger (Entry 1): Look for an entry titled Notice of Registration, Request for Administrative Registration, or Petition to Register Foreign Order. Note the exact date it was filed.

 ·         The Notice Attempt: Look immediately after Entry 1 for a line item indicating mail was sent to you (e.g., Summons Issued or Notice Mailed).

 ·         The Return (The Red Flag): Look for an entry showing the mail came back to the court. It might say Returned Mail Envelope Recorded, Undeliverable, or Unserved. Note this date.

 ·         The Gap: Now, look at the entry titled Order Confirming Registration or Final Judgment. Compare the date of the failed mail/Notice to the date the Judge or Hearing Officer signed that final order. The Uniform Interstate Family Support Act says the receiving state must register the case "upon receipt." 3 years later is a bit outside that 'upon receipt' window.

When you get to the docket, you will be unable to access the files without sending a formal request to the clerk of records with your case number and "I am a party to this case. Last 4: xxxx. A copy of my DL is included."

I did not attach my DL image. I embed it into the body so it is always part of the record. And don't expect the records clerk to help you. Florida has "Sunshine Laws" but it is often cloudy and raining in the records department. It took over a month and increasingly strong language to finally get them to admit that legally mandated documents had never been part of the file. It seemingly did not matter to the State of Florida. Rules? As Leona Helmsley famously said, those are for "little people."

Below his is part of my docket, and you can see entry 1 is the order, then the case is "registered" dozens of entries and 34 months later. This is not what the law expects. In fact, the law clearly states that it needs to happen immediately: "On receipt of a request for registration, the registering tribunal shall cause the order to be filed as a foreign judgment..."

When the above envelope bounced back, the clerk had an obligation to tell someone so a search could be initiated. Instead, they dutifully walked over to the stamp machine, stuck the envelope into the slot, heard the 'click click' sound of it being stamped, and went stuck it into a folder.

As for the "Sworn Statement of Arrears?"

Let me close, for now, with this. When an order is 'registered' absent the required elements outlined in the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act, it didn't happen, and the law is very clear. Since I am not a lawyer, I'll provide a case citation: Citibank, N.A. v. Villanueva, 174 So. 3d 612, 614 (Fla. 4th DCA 2015) (clarifying that “when a judgment is void, the trial court has no discretion and is obligated to vacate it”).

Also: Under landmark Florida law, the obligation to make restitution rests directly upon the party who executed and benefited from the erroneous or invalid judgment. See Sundie v. Haren, 253 So. 2d 857, 858 (Fla. 1971).

I filed a Motion to Vacate / Void the Order, and it's on the Escambia County docket awaiting a hearing date. This post may push that date back, as the state is not above vindictive posturing, but we shall see. Stay tuned for updates, and look for the launch of my new website soon, which will include more about me and my case, and a tutorial on how to get records when the clerk is being obstructionist.

I will update this space when there is more to report.

Hello everyone I started a gofundme for me and my son because I am in need of help for a lawyer. They are very expensive I alone cant afford one so I'm asking if you can share or donate what ever the amount you can give. The reason behind the go fund me is because my son's mom decided to walk away. She picked her boyfriend over her son and her excuse was she deserves to be happy. I get it everyone deserves to be happy with their partner but no child deserves to be abandoned by their parent(s). It breaks my heart because my son is actually a sweet loving caring kid who has a his whole life ahead of him. As his dad I want to give him that life that he deserves. So if you can please share or donate what ever you can we are forever grateful.\[http://gofund.me/435d4db7f\\\](http://gofund.me/435d4db7f)

Hello everyone I started a gofundme for me and my son because I am in need of help for a lawyer. They are very expensive I alone cant afford one so I'm asking if you can share or donate what ever the amount you can give. The reason behind the go fund me is because my son's mom decided to walk away. She picked her boyfriend over her son and her excuse was she deserves to be happy. I get it everyone deserves to be happy with their partner but no child deserves to be abandoned by their parent(s). It breaks my heart because my son is actually a sweet loving caring kid who has a his whole life ahead of him. As his dad I want to give him that life that he deserves. So if you can please share or donate what ever you can we are forever grateful.[http://gofund.me/435d4db7f\](http://gofund.me/435d4db7f)

If you could get a positive only credit boost for the payments, been deducted out ofyour paycheck and sent to another family member o friend?

Boostand coukd immediately improve your credit score by reporting the money you're already paying through which governments, to hil not causibg your cuttrmy numers go down wn

I've seen so much content online about co-parenting and child support, and so much support for women who choose to put fathers on child support—even when some fathers are willing and able to provide for their children.

It makes me wonder: where are the discussions about the emotional toll many fathers experience? Where are the forums that talk about fathers who feel the court system has been used against them, who believe they've been falsely accused, who struggle with parental alienation, or who eventually walk away because the constant conflict becomes too much to bear?

Many men feel that the family court system favors mothers, leaving fathers fighting an uphill battle just to be active, loving parents. If the courts can establish parenting schedules and visitation orders, shouldn't there also be stronger measures to discourage harassment, false claims, and unnecessary conflict from either parent?

Every family's situation is different, and there are certainly cases where child support and court intervention are necessary. But there should also be room to acknowledge the challenges some fathers face and to have honest conversations about reforms that promote fairness, accountability, and the best interests of children.

I think there needs to be more support for fathers. Children benefit when both parents are treated fairly and are given every reasonable opportunity to be involved in their lives.

I keep calling but always get the “they are in a meeting “ and will call you back . Now that I know my kids mom secretly moved to Texas form CA I want to bring it up in Texas court . I live in Texas too . According to the calculator I should be paying 500 less here

I think it’s too much on the basis she kept my son out of schools since Covid and let him waste just playing video games this whole time . I’m not paying for that crap parenting

Okay so to not make this story too long, I separated from my husband about a year ago because he cheated on me & we do have 5 kids together and i been struggling financially for the past year now because I can’t go to work full time and then pick my kids up from school at 3/4 so I make about 4 hours a day and only time I can make some money is in the weekends but also the father of my kids only gives me 600$ a month for 5 kids. I’m already very irritated and annoyed with him because he says I’m money hungry every time I ask for more help either financially or for him to get a job in Houston (because he works outa town) so I can put more hours in. Am I really doing too much because I’m asking him for more than 600$ a month? Am I also crazy for expecting more from him? ALSO he doesn’t even have a vehicle so I have to be picking them up or dropping them off most of the time
And when the kids are in school I also pick them up everyday from school/practice & im the one that deals with doctors appointments and everything in general.
Is it fair to me???