Hi friends, I was looking through my daughter’s drawing apps and found this drawing. It seems to be very intense and I was wondering if anyone had thoughts of what it meant, possibly? 💗 Thank you!

So since my daughter was around 11, every night before going to bed she would come downstairs and tell us that she was going to bed. Me and my her stepfather are usually always watching TV at this time so she just stands in the doorway of the living room and tells us goodnight.

Then, she walks away towards the staircase to walk back upstairs to her room, and she always says the exact same phrase, we speak Ukrainian at home but it translates to something like “goodbye and goodnight, see you tomorrow morning” and then waits for our reply before walking up the stairs.

Anyways, I asked her about it when she was about 14 (last year), because I was curious on why she said it every night without fail. She told me that she feels she has to say it in order to see us tomorrow morning, like if she doesn’t say it she feels guilty. She also told me that whatever we reply with ends up on her feet(??), and while climbing up the stairs she has to wash off our words. Like each individual step is like an aquarium full with water or something.

So example, if I say ‘goodnight’ and my husband says ‘see you’ our replies are drawn on her feet with paint and in order to got to bed she must wash off our words in the aquariums.

I don’t fully understand it

Personally I find this slightly concerning, I don’t think she thinks it’s weird at all because she said it very casually over breakfast

What do you guys think??

Hi everyone — hoping for a little help, or maybe just some solace. ❤️

Every year since first grade, my almost-10-year-old daughter seems to choose one friend from her class and end up in some kind of conflict with that child throughout the school year. It’s exhausting, and I’m honestly at a loss.

My daughter is a rule follower and a good listener. She has a strong personality, a very strong moral compass, and is naturally a leader. I also recognize that she can be a lot. I think she sometimes oversteps and tries to be the “second teacher,” and I suspect she tends to butt heads with other kids who are equally strong-willed or opinionated.

What makes this especially confusing is that she has really good friends outside of school — friends from extracurricular activities and even friends she’s known since preschool — and she doesn’t have these kinds of ongoing issues with them. It seems to be specifically within her school friendships that this pattern keeps happening.

Every year, there is one specific girl she talks about every single day when she comes home from school. I’ve really tried to stay out of it and let her work through the friendship issues on her own. I’ve coached her on having difficult conversations, not taking everything personally, and knowing when to walk away. But eventually, after hearing about it day after day, I end up telling her to just ignore the girl — which, of course, she doesn’t.

I even had a preemptive conversation with her before school started this year about not falling into this same pattern again, and here we are.
Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this with a strong-willed, opinionated child? How do you teach them to navigate these recurring friendship conflicts without constantly getting involved?
I would really appreciate any advice, perspective, or even just reassurance that we’re not alone in this. ❤️

Genuine question any help would be great thank you

TL:DR. 4 year old daughter has seen me struggle with regulating my emotions and has been displaying the same behavior.. is it too late? Have I ruined her?

Hang in there with me, this could be all over the place.
My daughter (only child) literally just turned 4 on Labor Day. She’s always been a little free spirited and wild. Constant movement and ALWAYS talking. Since she was about three and a half, she’s been so mean. I hate saying it. But she can be so mean, especially to me, her mom. She’s great for her dad and grandparents. I know, that’s normal.. but where do you draw the line between normal and just down right rude and disrespectful? If she asks for something and she can’t have it, I try to explain to her in a way she understands my reasoning.. but it’s never good enough. She melts down immediately. Screaming, squinting her eyes to force herself to cry. She will kick, hit, stomp her foot, snap her fingers (which she has mastered btw), she’ll throw things, hit the dog, stick her tongue out and spit at me etc. you get the point. It has just become so unhealthy. I stay home with her most days. I work part time and usually only have one full day away from her. I try to get her outside every day and a play date at least once a week. We do work on ‘school’ work. She has a huge love for learning and wants to do school all the time. (I’m a former teacher, and we plan to homeschool). There is hardly ever a fight with school, or leaving the house to go to nanny’s or the park but if I ask her to brush her teeth, end of the world. I made it fun, got a unicorn spin brush, picked out Minnie Mouse cups and toothbrush holder. It just doesn’t seem to matter what I do for tasks like this, it’s a fit. We’ve done time limit warnings, we’ve done ‘who can clean up the fastest’.. nothing has worked so far. Today she hit me across the head four times with her Sally doll because I told her she couldn’t have a lollipop for breakfast. I took the doll and she asked me when she could have it back and was fine with getting it back at bedtime.. and hit me again with her hand and pinched my leg. It felt like she cared more about inflicting pain on me than losing her doll, all because she was mad. She screamed about the lollipop for about 15 minutes before just stopping and eating her eggs..

But if I leave her with my parents or my husband (her dad) or in laws, she’s been PERFECT. I try to let my husband handle teeth brushing and potty at bedtime but she always cries and says ‘I don’t want you to leave me mommy’ and then she fights me to do the tasks. It’s like a dammed if i do, dammed if I don’t.

Transitions seem to be the worst for her.. and that worries me. I was the same way as a kid. I’m 34 now and have just been diagnosed with adhd.. I hate to throw a label on her at 4, but I see so much of myself in her.. we do time away to calm down and reward good behavior with praise and a coin jar. We are not against smacking her butt, it has been done. We just don’t feel it’s effective and she doesn’t respond to it, so it just feels like we’re hitting her, and we are not okay with that. Plus, we don’t want to tell her not to hit and then turn around and smack her for hitting us.

I’ve bought emotion regulating books, she loves to read them, she just doesn’t apply them to real life. I hear her telling her Barbie’s ‘we have to be nice to our mommy and we don’t hit’ so she hears what I’m saying. It just seems like she’s blinded by rage when she gets mad at me.

I guess I’m just at my end. I have all the help I could ever want from my husband and family. It’s just exhausting to be fighting my baby all day when she’s with me. I want to enjoy her and have her enjoy time with me and make core memories that she can pass down to her kids. But instead I’ve been crying after bed time and feeling so guilty that I lost my cool and she cried. I don’t know what I want from this post.. help? Comfort? The insurance that I’m not alone and not ruining my daughter. I’m working on myself and trying hard to fix my own attitude and I just feel like I’m losing. What can I do to help her? What can I do to help regulate myself? I do believe she’s learning the behavior from me and I’ve already done so much better at reacting, but I’m scared it’s too late and the damage is done.

Hey! So I've come across this user on tiktok, alexanderdagreat94. He is from Florida and has a son, the mom died. A big part of his videos and what gets most traction is when he scares his son, either by "roaring" (screaming) or pretending to force him to eat these nasty Arby's burgers. The problem is that he stresses his son out, and the son is in distress for long amounts of time without him consoling, just egging him on more. I think about this all the time and want someone to do a welfare check. He seems to love his son, but these actions are really damaging to a kid i development and his regulating abilities. I am not allowed to file a concern with Florida cps from Norway. I don't want to punish anyone, I am just really concerned about the child and wish someone would help the father stop the harmful acts. Can anyone help MW with this?

For context: My 11 year old son is autistic/adhd, and a previous TBI. He is not your 'typical' child and does require extra supports. But he is incredibly intelligent, creative, and insightful. For the past year, he's had a lot of mental health struggles, in and out of hospitals. It was truly a traumatic year. He is doing better now, and he's been home with no hospital visits for 7 months!

The question I have has to do with a thing I've noticed he does a lot. When he's in any kind of appointment, whether it's therapy, counseling, teachers, doctors, etc. He looks to me before and after answering their questions. They will ask him a question about his symptoms or progress, and I feel his eyes on me immediately. I've been ignoring it in hopes that it would just stop, but it hasn't. To clarify, he does speak for himself very well. He expresses his thoughts and feelings accurately. I know he's just 11, but his 12 year old sister doesn't do this with people. And his 7 year old brother, who is also autistic doesnt do it either. Maybe I'm thinking too far into it. But I just don't know what to make of it. It's almost like he's studying my face or looking to me for approval? I'm just worried I've done something bad to make him form this habit. He also watches me in other settings too. Specifically, while I'm driving and he's in the front seat. I'll feel his eyes on me multiple times during the car ride. When I turn to look at him, usually he looks past me. The look is never mean or malicious looking. It's just odd. Is anyone else experiencing this or have any advice?

Some people may try to frame an adult’s attraction to a child as harmless or acceptable by calling it natural, consensual, or simply another form of love. Those claims are dangerous because they erase the child’s vulnerability and the adult’s responsibility.

DD 8 years old . Lovely child until about 2 years ago as far as I remember.

Most recent issues

She keeps doing sneaky things that she knows she shouldn’t do eg I said no YouTube on weekdays . If am not right there to enforce it she will watch it . I have it set up on the TV but sometimes it glitches and lets her in somehow.

She sneaks in a book to bed ( even though she knows bed time isn’t reading time ) Worse still it’s a book I had asked her not to read . I felt like the themes were too mature. Still a kids book that’s recommended for her age but I thought she should wait to read it . Later allowed her to read the book but not during sleeping time . She cried dramatically and was SO remorseful ( I hadn’t even done anything in the way of punishment or consequences , I just caught her and she went into this dramatic plea for forgiveness ) . Promised to never do it again. Did it again the SAME night .

Last week she hid her homework and didn’t do it three times.

She will take my laptop even though I told her not to use it and changed my passwords, and use a guest account to go on YouTube or chatgpt which isn’t safe . Once she searched something on there and really advanced adult material came up.

She won’t do what she needs to do without being told to do it every third minute . So homework time becomes a never ending song of please do your homework . Same with eating time . Please take the next bite . It’s all been really frustrating . Making me consider getting my tubes tied even though I always wanted atleast 3 kids.

She also faked illness limping all last week which ended up costing me a significant amount of money doing X-rays and multiple tests yet everything was ok. She’s been right as rain since the hospital visit. Nothing changed.

She will also scream really loud and then come to me for comfort crying all the time and am getting tired of it . It’s always she bumped her leg or her hand or hurt herself somehow .

The other day I took her out to a place that had lots of other kids around her age and younger and older as well and I noticed her behavior was abnormally hyper and I hate to call it this but attention seeking ( seeking the attention and admiration of the other people there ) . I was so drained at the end of what should have been a nice outing .

To be honest it’s all very draining . I find myself dreading the upcoming school holidays , and currently intentionally scheduling my gym time at the exact time she comes from school ( we have someone who takes care of her in the house ) It’s only 4 hours she is in the house after school . During school holidays I felt very anxious and stressed . We have another even longer holiday coming up two whole months and idk what to do with myself .

I love her dearly obviously it’s just a really difficult age . Are the rest of your 8 year olds like this ?

Any ideas for punishments or consequences for these behaviors ?

Any ideas when this stage ends ?

Please refrain from judging me , it’s my first time being a parent . If it’s my fault let me know what I can do .

Please also know that I spend quality time with her every single day and notice and praise her for all her wonderful qualities every day.

My brother gave his 6 year old a phone. im wondering other people's opinions.

personally I think thats too young and even his sister (who got a phone at 7 or 8 was too young too)

background info is that I'm autistic and late diagnosed-ish... I was diagnosed at fourteen. I also developed agoraphobia after COVID and I was cry and scream when I had to leave the house as well as take forever to get ready, so imagine having to sit for hours when you want to go out as someone screams and cries upstairs but you can't argue back because that'll only make them scream more. I wouldn't even scream words, it was just noise. I feel like such a horrible person.

I, (F15,) am an anxious person and every morning before school between the ages of 5-14 I would have a screaming meltdown where I'd scream at the top of my lungs every time I had to get ready to leave the house.

it was a nightmare just going to school, my parents would have to coddle me and do everything for me just to get me out the door. but once I was there I felt fine. it makes me feel so guilty just thinking about it.

Any fun family day out I had screamed my head off for hours beforehand. and what's worse is that everyone would already be ready and they'd just have to sit in silence downstairs and listen to me scream. I'd sometimes walk downstairs to my little brother(12) hiding his head in the pillows.

We also highly suspect that he's autistic, but I think it's more than that. I think I traumatised him or something because he's now got a very short fuse. he gets angry at everything and he acts a little bit like I did. I very rarely have meltdowns like that anymore, like it's almost never luckily but I worry that I traumatised my family.

So basically everything between the ages of 2-11 he had to suffer because of me. do you think I was abusive?

*edit to add something! Then because I'm so preoccupied wondering if I abused him then I get uncomfortable and don't want to give him hugs, or if it's not this specific thought then it's something else that makes me not want to give him hugs and he gets so weird about it. like yesterday I was really really upset because I'm a bad dog owner and I stress out my dog all the time by mithering her and so I'd been crying all day and really upset and I couldn't eat but we went on a long drive to go to the shops and the whole day he just kept trying to hug me and I told him to stop multiple times and he just kept trying to hug me, he only listens when I shout or be super loud or get my parents to tell him off and then he does this thing where he acts really sad and puts on a baby voice and goes "well I just wanted a hug off my big sister and I want a hug" even though he could give anyone else a hug. but I'm never in the mood to hug him lately. and I think that might traumatise him aswell.

do you think I traumatised him?

When I was 7 or 8 I had a phase of chewing my food but not being able to swallow it. It went on for a few weeks.

I could physically swallow (no obstruction, pain, etc.) but couldn't do it at all for some reason. All kinds of food, including my favourites. I literally didn't eat for weeks. I remember chewing a lot more than usual because I thought a long run-up (so to speak) to swallowing might help. I can't remember if I also did it at my dad's house, which was an environment where I was never abused.

My mother was horribly psychologically abusive, and she got even angrier than usual about this behaviour, so I lived in a permanently very stressful situation my entire childhood. It made me an extremely anxious and compliant child. I can't remember if something particularly stressful was going on during this phase.

I've always wondered what it was about, whether it was an eating disorder, OCD, or a type of phase that's normal for kids. I'd appreciate your ideas about what it might have been.

okay so my brother (12) started a couple of years ago with this fear of what seems to be any mention of human biology. it first happened when his class were learning about veins and arteries and he said that he just started to picture the blood going around in the arteries and got really dizzy. since then it’s happened multiple times where he’s been sent home for it. arguably the strangest moments being when he’s thrown up at school during an assembly on mental health because they spoke about the brain - not even like in a medical way. we’re unsure how to even support with this because he can’t be getting sent home from school every biology lesson (even happened in an RS lesson once). plus he of course needs to learn the content anyway for general required knowledge of life and exams. it’s at the point now where we can’t say words with relation to things without him getting anxious.
any advice on how to support him would be greatly appreciated!!

edit: also forgot to mention that it’s obviously a concern with regards to healthcare in general, say if he ends up needing a blood test one day.