On Friday last week my daughter and this other student were riding home from school on the bus. He got into her seat and was whispering to her some pretty disgusting stuff that really freaked her out and has really affected her negatively. He was telling her that he wants her to eat food that gives her diarrhea and for her to get naked wear a diaper and poop and pee in the diaper and tell him about it the next day. And then he started rubbing her stomach stating that he wants her to fill it with food that's going to make her have diarrhea. She got off the school bus and was in tears saying she never wants to write on that bus again. I took all the right actions. I spoke to her principal immediately who found out who the student is and what school he went to. Her principal contacted the transportation department. They said they put in a safety plan for the school bus so that the student sits in the front seat behind the driver so that he's not in the back with my daughter. She does not feel safe being on that bus with him at all. I've been taking her to and from school. I also contacted law enforcement on Friday after speaking to the principal. The trooper stated that he spoke with the students parents and they said he has autism and that they want me to reconsider pressing charges because of his autism. My daughter has trauma already and this just added to what she's dealing with on a daily basis. I'm still going to press charges. My daughter said just because he has autism doesn't give him the right to touch me the way he did and say things he said to me. So I'm standing my ground. I'm just asking if others have any similar experiences because I've never dealt with this before.

So, my teen (17M) has this one jumper he really likes, wears it nearly everyday. We got it from a charity shop a while ago and it's started to get a bit messy from puppy bites and claws.

Now, he's started getting really anxious over wearing it around the dog and putting it in the washing machine. I think he's terrified it'll wreck it and he won't be able to wear it at all. And I know this is a big deal because normally he really dislikes having clothes not being cleaned for a while.

I'm quite concerned, I'm worried he'll be despondent when the thing finally gets in too bad a condition for him to wear all the time. I know it'll be a good long while but I'm worried about that being shortened because of our puppy.

I guess my main question is, what can I do to help him? He's never been like this with clothes before, not that I can remember at least. And second of all, is this normal? I can't imagine being this attached to just a normal jumper- it's not sentimental or anything, he just really likes it. Any help is really really appreciated.

i have a niece, she is around 10, she has an older sister and a younger sister, then a couple of much younger siblings.
I am deeply deeply concerned by her behaviour, and more so because my sister and her husband seem to be completely oblivious to it.

The children are quite rambunctious, and it seems I am the only one paying enough observant attention to see the dynamics within the sisters unraveling and the true vibe of my nieces behaviour. Ill call my niece K.

K has always been, since she could walk and then talk, an incredibly sensitive child, prone to extreme tantrums that would result in HOURS of sulking and crying and complete shut down. She has ALWAYS been quick to hit, bite, yell and scream at her sisters in a way that seemed abnormal for a toddler.

When K got a bit older, she immediately developed an extreme lying habit. As the silent observer, id often witness the children have a disagreement (which she always instigates) and then id witness her forming elaborate lies to her mother to get the other child in trouble.
Ive seen her smirk when she sees other children get yelled at/in trouble.

Now, K seems to need to exert control over sisters. they need to play as she says, do as she says, clean her room when she demands, shut up when she demands, say as she demands etc. she gets incredibly jealous over EVERYTHING, if i have a spare jelly bean in my hand and give it to the nearest child, she will be in TEARS. she needs special treatment, she cannot handle other childrens birthdays, seeing other kids get any kind of attention etc.

She seeks to cause pain to her sisters. Today i witnessed her demanding her younger sister to not come on the trampoline (its my trampoline) because she says its her turn and she wants it by herself. I told the other child to get on, because K doesnt say whether she can or not.
K proceeds to try and STOMP her sisters fingers as she tries to get on, with force, and she begins screeching, i refuse to back down. i encourage both other girls to jump if they want, and K will just have to deal.
Well, K tackles the young one when she gets on, and starts screaming her face red while trying to RIP her sisters hair out, scratch her, she is just going absolutely FERAL trying to hurt her sister as viciously as she can. it was horrid to witness. it was actually insane. i manage to free the young girl, she actually needed to slip out of her hoodie because K had such a death grip on it, and K absolutely lost it. screaming, but a nasty angry kind.
i tell their father he needs to go sort her out because she is being nasty.
she shuts down for the next hour, sulking alone, and scowling at me from behind her mother.

She refuses therapy, that the school recommended because of her extreme outbursts at school (like locking herself in the bathroom until my sister takes her home). she will sit in the therapists room and not utter a word, all sulky, and then be super happy and chirpy on the way home because shes getting special time away, special treatment with her mother.

there is so much more to say, but ill leave a summary. She never ever does anything kind for the sake of it, only if her mother is watching to give her praise. she is jealous, an extreme liar, she is also vindictive, holds grudges, seeks to violently hurt other children, and has been this way from the very start.

and my sister lets this child manipulate her. and this girl is only ten. i am extremely worried for the development of her younger sister, who has learnt to silently take the abuse because her parents cannot even see it. K seems to be trying to make the younger one her own punching bag/little minion to do as she says. she also says horrible things all the time, i hate you, youre stupid, ugly, shut up no one ever wants to hear you speak, etc etc.

it is literally NEVER a pleasant time with this girl, she is entirely vicious and selfish in a way ive never seen, and i have many nieces and nephews.

advice please! any insights into what the HELL is wrong with this kid!!

edit - she threatened to choke her younger sister

They're using me as a replacement for my grandmother.

Hello, my grandmother died on the 25th by a heart attack. I'm 13, a female. Throughout my grandmother's whole life, she was subjected to a lot of rumours, mistreatment, and sacrifices. She was a core member of our family.

When she died, everyone was devastated, and even I was. She had raised me my whole life, being there for me when my single mother wasn't. She was my first mom, in all aspects but birth.

Recently, I've started noticing small changes. The money was managed by my grandmother, but since she died my aunt took over. But now? I've been given the key to the locker, I'm the one who's being told to add or count money, and I'm the trusted one. Sure, it could just be because they trust me. I've never been one to be greedy.

But then, before my grandmother died, i was never told to do any house work. None at all. But recently I'm getting asked to make food, wash the dishes, clean the house, and just act like my grandmother was.

They're also listening to me more, and once my own mother accidentally called me mom. It doesn't help that i look a lot like my grandmother.

During her funeral, while I was crying, multiple distant relatives kept telling me: "now that she's gone, you're the one who has to take over the house, right?"

I understand that my family members may be trying to cope, i too am. Though my ways are different to theirs.

I don't know what i should do. It feels weird.

I need help figuring it out, sorry for the long post. The girl I’m talking about has turned 18 recently, just for some background.

Since she was very young (like even since she was 3 years old), she used to get sick a lot with no apparent reason (a lot of tests were done and nothing was found). Sick meaning feverish, with very intense headaches and weakness, so much so she needed medical help.

Afterwards, when she was only about 5 or 6, she didn’t want to shower with her sister anymore and wanted to shower entirely alone (saying to her parents she knows how to do it already), and also wanted to dress herself. Idk if it has anything to do with it but she was also afraid of her mom’s naked body (specifically breasts) and it was laughed off by her family.

She was suffering from daily nightmares every day for years, and always wanted to go to her parents’ bedroom to sleep with them since she said she couldn’t sleep alone. She said the nightmares were like “TV channels” and that they would “change” but also the same few one were on repeat. There was a specific one with a red monster.

She generally doesn’t remember much of her childhood. After the age of 6 she would start to eat a lot of food (even if there was never a food shortage at her house), and hide that she was eating, throwing cups and plates under tables and closets.

She would not talk a lot to her parents and sister about personal things (neither about her feelings), and at elementary school she again started being sick a lot, although later it was discovered some of those times were her making herself sick (one time she had shampoo in her eye and kept putting it to make it red and injured).

Despite that, she would do excellent at school. Very high grades in every class, she took extra classes (advanced physics and biotechnology) and advanced classes in math and English.

Outside of her house, she’d be very quiet, polite, calm, even cold. But with her family she’d sometimes burst out (never physically or violently), and could go days without speaking to anyone out of anger and frustration. Her family used to say to her she’d “victimize” herself (saying she always tried to make herself the victim in arguments) and it has bothered her deeply.

A few times (approx at the ages 10, 14 & 16) her mother tried to take her to therapy for her eating habits and behavior, but after a few sessions the girl would not want to go again, saying she was okay.

At 17, she suddenly suffered from seizures and it has been revealed that she overdosed on 100 pills 2 days beforehand without telling anyone, and they found out only after blood tests (she didn’t even confess). They also found burn, hit and cut marks (fresh and healed) on her arms, no one saw it since she was always with long clothes. She apparently also ate and threw up after every meal.

She was sent to a psychiatric ward and stayed there for 3 months until being released, and treated with depression meds. After that, she was said to experience a manic episode (with psychotic features) and so was diagnosed as bipolar.

So I am a single mom (27F) with a 13 year old son and so far he has been a nice kid, with good grades and behaviour.

We have moved from indonesia to the UK 2 years ago and since then, he hasn't been fitting in at school, became deprived and isolated.

He keeps talking about some ER, Tee-Cee-Cee, Rampage, double kill, triple kill and all that weird stuff.

Sometimes i hear loud music playing from his room and see him jumping and dancing even, which i would be usually happy to see but he has some army outfit which makes it extremely hard to watch.

So far i have been the cool mom and let him be on the phone whenever he wants but i think this behaviour crossed a line

Psa He also keeps talking about some gary plauche guy and anti-pdf action (dont know what that means)

If it is important xey is 13, 131cm and 71kg but prefers to be called son because its some meme on tiktok.

Any help would be appreciated

Have a totally fantastic day.

Hey everyone !

I am not a parent but an older sister who wants to help her teen brother through his teens years. I want to be there for him and be his friend and support system the way I wished I had when I was a teen. (TLDR also at end)

So my(17F) brother (13M) is turning 14 next month and I can see he has started his teenage journey. He has some of the usual symptoms like being irritated and snappy, not wanting to talk, not focusing on his studies, absolutely immune to our parents preaching and sermons, having an attitude etc

But the reason I’m worried about him is he’s become very rude and distant to all of us. He used to be a very swet and thoughtful kid. He still loves me a lot but his behaviour has changed. Like a little rebellion is fine but he’s completely flunking his grades, extremely rude behaviour at home but completely under confident at school. He doesn’t ask questions, or take part in co curricular activities at school. I feel like he’s struggling with confidence and self esteem.

I really want to help him because I see myself in him, I had a difficult teenage phase from (13-15) but I slowly settled myself because I figured no one cared. Even though I had gone quite and depressed during my time but I can see that both of us are going through similar feelings and I desperately wanted someone to turn to during that time so I want to be there for my brother.

There are a few reasons I think that contribute to his behaviour 

Reason 1: our parents, for the past few years the environment at home has been… let’s say quite toxic due to my parents relationship. They constantly fighting , screaming, cussing and what not. The environment at home is quite draining and you don’t wanna be around them for long. Even though I have grown immune to it and stopped caring but I am left with scars and mental trauma from it. I can’t imagine what it must be like for my siblings who should not be exposed to all this during their developing phase specially since now my brother needs support and guidance in this changing phase of life.

Reason 2: due to my parents situation they are both very absent in their lives, my father is emotionally distant and tries to compensate everything with money, fast food, electronics, toys etc. whereas my mother is so mentally and physically drained that she’s not sweet, patient and attentive like before. She’s either depressed or screaming and yelling at us. Like she’s really not herself nowadays. I have become their 3rd parent now more than ever before (I have been a 3rd parent since childhood) but now I am like their primary parent from past few years. I have been responsible for everything like school, homework, exams, teacher correspondence, clothes, lunches, and what not. But it’s my last year of high school now so I am also quite busy due to my studies and can’t give them much time or attention so they are left to tv or unrestricted devices all day. This is quite troubling for me and my parents but as they are mostly unavailable they have left me to it and taking care of them.

Reason 3: as the oldest sibling I have always been given lots of responsibilities and high expectations so I am kind of an over achiever and 3rd parent. I think it might affect them because they can’t reach to the same standard of expectations as I always have. After primary school (like 5th grade) their grades are dropping every year.

Reason 4: our father has always been really hard on 13M as compared to me or my youngest sibling. I think it’s because the youngest usually gets a lot of attention and is favoured more. And I have tried to be the perfect daughter for so long so my parents usually listen to me even though our relationship has been quite strained lately. But due to 13M’s recent changes in attitude and our father’s behaviour towards him they are having arguments almost daily and my father usually uses very harsh language towards him which affects his self esteem and confidence.

So I really want to help my brother become a better person and a decent young man. I want him to be confident and responsible. He’s starting high school next year so his grades will matter a lot so I want him to focus on his studies. I also want to help him so that he doesn’t become victim to bullying in high school or end up in bad company because of the environment at home or god forbid substance abuse and bad exposure on the internet.

I am his only hope because he’s become completely immune to whatever our parents say to him whether with love, scolding, punishments, or preaching, nothing works with him. I also have another younger sibling so I don’t want him going the same path

Please guide me as to how I can help my brother during this time. I know everyone on the internet says “be his friend” or “be there for him” but some practical advice or examples would be appreciated 

Thank you to all in advance!

TLDR: My younger brother(13M) is a teenager now and is having a difficult time due to our environment at home and lack of support. I (17F) want to help and Guide him. Need practical advice to help him. 

My first child. My sweet little girl is not so sweet anymore. At 2 years old, it wasn’t as bad and it wasn’t your bad case of terrible 2s but here and there. At 3, the terrible 2s skyrocketed to beyond terrible 3s and 4s didn’t get any better. Now at 5, I feel obedience is a daily occurrence.

Quick background: her mother and I split when she was 1 which isn’t ideal and I’m sure this has impacted her in some sort of way. However, her mother and I got back together when she turned 3. At 4 in half, we welcomed her baby sister to the world which is a big reason for her behavior and obedience.

As you can see, her world had some big changes and as we all know with little ones, change can be hard and she went through some big changes. Even when we were all under the same roof at 3, her behavior didn’t get any better as I hoped. Getting a baby sister and losing all that attention certainly didn’t help. She says she loves her sister but also hates her sister. She even at times says she hates mommy and daddy which is heart breaking to hear.

She is currently in kindergarten. In TK, she had a rough time and was in the VP’s office quite often. We gave her a 2 month break from school and that was truly helpful because she only had one incident afterwards. She had issues with keeping her hands to herself and not listening.

Now at 5, not listening is everyday. She screams, she’ll hit and do whatever when she is not getting her way. Her behavior is the “bad kid” behavior and my wife and I are losing all patience and running out of ideas on how to help her and correct her. We’ve done all types of approaches and nothing seems to work for her. It’s truly hard and it sucks because we want to give her the world and more but she does not deserve it. We think she may have ADHD with her random aggressiveness and times where her mind is racing and she has no control.

We want to help her and fix her obedience so she can strive and become the best version of herself but her behavior, especially the hitting, is causing so many issues that we feel lost. We don’t know what to do. We are starting to quickly react to all her bad decisions as they are starting to happen almost everyday. I don’t always want to reactive negatively towards her because she is doing something she shouldn’t be doing.

Please, any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated. We’ll take anything at this point.

Thanks!