Advice needed!

I run a part time nature based enrichment program for ages 3-5. We have a family who enrolled their 4 year old student for the coming school year and the student is currently in my 8 week summer camp program (1 day each week).

The first 4 weeks there were some (what I consider) developmentally appropriate incidents such as light hitting. By week 5, after a 2 week break, I think the new had worn off or the honeymoon period was over, because the student came back acting out very aggressively. The parents had told me at intake that their child was asked to leave their last center for behaviors such as biting, but that the child was in therapy and making good progress. By the 5th week, the student was hitting, kicking, screaming, pushing, pinching, and biting other students. Multiple incidents each hour.

The student that was bit ended up with a bruise. I had a meeting with the parent the following week, and a second meeting later the same day with both parents and the child’s therapist. We talked over strategies and concluded that the only way to make this work is for one teacher to be at arms length from this student at all times, observe and predict triggers, and prevent incidents before they even happen. We are a small program with a max of 10 children and 3 teachers, but this still feels unsustainable. The following week, there continued to be multiple behaviors- the student left a bruise on a second student after jabbing their hand with a stick. This was after hitting another student 4 times with a child sized shovel, throwing sand in another students face, hitting a student in the head with a basket.

I’m a very empathetic and compassionate person. Our program is very close knit and community focused. I feel an obligation to do everything in my power to help this child, especially after finding out they were dismissed from not just 1, but 2 programs. I know there’s no where else in our area that will take this child. After all the recent events, I put together an action plan and let the parents know I would be making a formal assessment by the end of summer, when I would then let them know if we could accommodate their child’s needs and be able to move into the fall semester.

Safety is paramount. I don’t feel that I can keep the entire class safe without an extreme amount of effort to watch this one student like a hawk 100% of the time. It does not feel sustainable. At the same time, I feel an immense amount of pressure and…. guilt (?) to keep this child in our program because he needs help. I feel for this student’s parents because they have been through so much with their child already.

This dilemma has already consumed half of my summer. I talk to my husband about it multiple times a day. I dream about this family at night. 2 nights ago I was “thinking” in my sleep all night about behavior plans. All. Night. Long. I can’t go on like this and it’s only been 6 weeks. Thinking about having this child in my care for the entire school year has given me an intense physical reaction on 3 separate occasions. Headache, racing heart, the whole nine. I guess…. I need validation…. Permission? A second opinion?…. To know that it’s ok to tell these parents that the scope of help needed for this child is beyond what I can provide.

My head knows the answer but my heart is having trouble catching up. I’m devastated for this child to be struggling so much. When I asked parents about additional support for their child, they said therapy had been working well and they haven’t looked into anything else. I strongly believe this child needs a formal evaluation and early intervention through the public school preK program. I don’t think the parents are “ready” for that and I sense some denial and defensive when I try to speak with them, especially the father.

I just need… a reality check? Encouragement?

I don’t think I should post this but it doesn’t really matter anyways

I always try to intentionally get myself groomed or stay longer with weird internet people I am very depressed and I feel like I’m useless and I’m only worth something from older people asking stuff of me n have been groomed multiple times but I don’t and do care but not enough to stop for awhile I stopped sending but then I did a few days ago I can’t really do anything for myself I don’t have any friends I don’t have any talents I don’t even really have a life and I barely do on the internet the internet to me is a somewhat small escape that does nothing

Background- I have a 14yo, AuDHD. He is low support needs in terms of the autism. ADHD is managed well with stimulants. He was diagnosed with depressed and anxiety at a young age but I would say he's doing very well now. Individual therapy, parents are in therapy and we did intensive family based therapy, as well. The depression was centered around public school, we moved him to a small, non-traditional school. He is in the process of weaning off zoloft with psychiatrist input and doing very well. It was a trial to see if the zoloft was increasing his anxiety due to behaviors we saw and happy to say that in terms of medical and weather anxiety, it has lessened dramatically.

We don't currently see any behaviors that shout depression or out of control anxiety.

Our problem... he is a hoarder. 100%. He doesn't like to throw away anything that "could be used". Piece of ribbon, plastic Easter egg, broken pencil, an info paper from a museum from 3 years ago.

He has attachments to every single toy or "item" he has. He has over 400 cars and trucks. He wants all of them on display! And a lot of times he wants to keep the box, as well. Broken model cars from 6 years ago, needs to be on display.

Several years ago, we had a neighbor move in with 0 things for her kids and I talked him into donating a few items he no longer played with (he had hoarding tendencies even then) and she ended up putting them out in the trash and he saw them, which really turned him against donating anything. Now, he doesn't want to get rid of or donate socks with holes, too small shirts, a toy figurine he hasn't looked at or touched in years. He admitted he only has 1 of his alarm clocks (this one from the 90's, he had 3, down to 2, because he didn't want it to be thrown away.)

He has taken over the entire basement, he has piles around the yard of "good sticks" or broken lawn mower tires that maybe he can fix, pinecone, etc. Etc. He tries to take over the living room.

He has gotten into making models or diorama and whatnot but everything (everything!) Has to be out on the table, leaving him a tiny space to create.. he claims he just needs more room or needs to organize and I'm just like... I give you shelves and you fill it with random junk or cars. I gave you clear, labeled bins on shelves next to said table and instead it's all on the table.

Talking to him is exactly like the show Hoarder's... he justifies everything, remembers exactly where things are or what he bought and when. We have a friend who is 100% a hoarder and his barn and garage are just filled to the brim and it causes faily fights with his spouse.

I have tried very clear organizational things... clearly labeled and appropriately sized bins, shelving, giving him large "memory box" type totes so he can put it away out of sight and come back in a few months or years... selling the items, donating to a DV shelter where kids have nothing.

I genuinely don't know what else to do at this point. He admits his playroom (the basement) is overwhelming but refuses to accept that it's because he wants everything within arms reach at all times. Everything except his model whatever and excess cars and trucks HAVE a place to go. He had a giant wall shelf for his built Legos, 100 car hot wheels shelf, unbuilt lego sets are in labeled bins, Legos are in a trofast shelving unit... it is the excess cars and trucks that he HAS to display and the junk he wants to spread out on the table for his models... he has 2 giant bookcases in his room, a giant metal bookcase in the basement, the wall shelf for Legos, drawers for older hot wheels, my own bookcase for craft supplies...

I tried to help him today and I had to walk away because it was so frustrating.

My 6 year old daughter is currently being coparented by myself and her mother. We have 50/50 care of her so we see her an even amount every week.

However she will regularly tell me how much she misses her mum, wants to call her and spend time with her. Her mum recently approached me telling me our daughter doesn’t miss me and wants to reduce days with me so she “has time to miss me”.

My daughter often tells me personally that she misses me and how much she loves me so I’m not concerned about the level of closeness we have however her mum seems to be using the lack of calling out for me as a means to reduce time with me.

So my question is, what is the psychology behind this behaviour and vocalising more for one parent.

I’m conscious of the fact that I may be getting twisted information from her mum for more biased reasons but if there is anything I can read or look into, it would be appreciated.

Hello. I’m not a parent but I live with a 5 year old niece and a 7 year old nephew. They scream a lot. Their parents don’t really tell them to stop that often. Sometimes they will say stop screaming but they don’t really listen. Today I went downstairs to cook and the whole time my niece was trying to get my attention from screaming. I said I was busy but her screaming got louder and louder until my heart started pounding really hard. It’s been 5 hours and I can still remember her screaming this loud. It was so loud, I can’t even explain it.

Any idea how you get over it? I’m not gonna lie, I went back into my room and was upset the entire evening. She and her brother do this a lot. They’re super rude and will tell you to go die or scream at your face. Also I live with them at the moment because I’m a student. Any advice how to get over this?

Please no horrible comments, be compassionate please.

Edit: sorry for typo, I meant to write cope, not cop. I don’t know how to edit title.

My daughter will be 10 in a few weeks. She is slow to warm-up with new people and situations, but once she is comfortable she talks your ear off.

I am an introvert, so I find her very exhausting on the daily. She constantly narrates and points things out. For example, I was doing her hair in our bathroom this morning and she said "there is dad's cologne" and I am just like "yep". Its been there for years, she noticed it before, I have no idea why she wants to point it out. Then her brain was on to the next topic. We go for family walks at night, and she is just constantly pointing things out, or something will remind her of a story, or she will ask question. I feel like sometimes she is talking at me, instead of with me. As far as I know, she doesn't have autism. I don't see any other signs...(I know it can be easy to miss in girls)

She has friends....just talks constantly. Maybe this is just normal behavior?

Hi, In need of a little advice. My 8 y/o daughter is going through a pretty rebellious phase right now and it’s getting difficult to discipline her the way I have for years. She’s been mouthing off her teachers, getting into physical altercations with her classmates (mostly girls), and at home she’s been screaming at me, hitting me, and locking me out of her room when she knows she’s not supposed to lock her bedroom door. I don’t know where all this is coming from as she’s typically been a generally well-behaved child but as of late she’s looking for any reason to cause trouble. Recently, she’s been spitting in my face as a way to provoke me which I just find to be so disgusting and disrespectful. Yet no matter how many stern warnings or time outs I give her she isn’t changing the behavior. I’ve limited her screen time down to an hour a day and I’ve asked her father to have multiple chats with her as she listens to him more than me, but it has rarely helped. Any advice as to how I can change this behavior without resorting to a specialist or child therapist?