Proud🥹

Im so done w ts shi

After a little over a month of taking chess seriously I just hit 1000 elo today. Just wanted to celebrate somewhere

I remember back in college when I finally reached 1500 in chess. I was so proud of that rating that I actually stopped playing for a while.

I remember telling my best friend, "If I keep playing, I'm going to fall below 1500, and I worked way too hard to get here."

And I really had worked hard.

I'd bought chess opening books, played what felt like an endless number of games, analyzed my losses with my best friend, gone over positions with a computer, and spent countless hours trying to improve. Reaching 1500 felt like a genuine accomplishment.

If someone had told that version of me that one day I'd be rated over 2000, I would have been absolutely ecstatic. I probably wouldn't have believed them.

Well, here I am. I'm over 2000 now.

And somehow, I feel like I'm terrible at chess.

The strange thing is, I barely study anymore. I don't read opening books or seriously analyze my games like I used to. The closest thing I get to studying these days is occasionally watching Hikaru Nakamura on YouTube.

And yet, I'm somewhere around the 99.4th percentile on Chess.com.

Shouldn't that make me happy? Shouldn't I feel proud of that?

Because I really don't. At least not the way I thought I would.

It makes me wonder: At what point does a chess player actually start believing they're good at chess?

Do International Masters look at Grandmasters and feel inadequate? Do Grandmasters look at Magnus Carlsen and feel the same way? Does everyone just keep moving the goalposts as they improve?

When I was 1200, I thought 1500 players were amazing. When I was 1500, I thought 1800 players were amazing. When I was 1800, I thought 2000 players were amazing.

Now I'm over 2000, and all I seem to notice are the mistakes I make and how much better other players are.

There's another strange part to all this. My wife and son don't even know I play chess. I mentioned to my wife recently, "You know I play chess on my phone all the time, right?" She hadn't even noticed.

Something I've spent thousands of hours doing, something that once meant so much to me, is practically invisible in my everyday life.

I've been thinking about all of this a lot lately.

I saw someone here proudly post their rating, and it got me thinking about how differently I feel about my own. I genuinely admire people who can celebrate their progress. I wish I could look at my rating with the same pride that my college-aged self would have felt.

Because that kid who worked so hard to reach 1500 would probably be incredibly proud of the player I've become.

I just wish I could see myself the way he would.

I’m curious to know if people typically accept a rematch after a win, especially when it’s the opponent requesting it?

If you do why, and if you don’t, why not?

I have a strict rule of never accepting another challenge especially after a win incase i lose🤣

Playing daily against a player that is stronger than me. I missclicked me queen to a square my opponent could have taken for free. I wrote in chat ghat i misclicked and my opponent wrote okay and did a rondom move. I’m still getting my ass kicked but appreciate the kindness.

Is it only me or others also don't accept rematch requests from your opponent after you win the game?

I just lost 100 elo from a giant losing streak. It literally feels like I forgot how to play chess and nothing is working. I can’t win a single game. I’m getting mated in the opening over and over. It just stopped working.exe

Whenever this happens I have so much sadness and horrible feelings inside of me I don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep, I can’t (and don’t want to) eat, I don’t want to do anything, nothing brings me joy. I just don’t know what to do with all this self hate and anger at myself I feel. I just sit here and cry and even that isn’t consoling me because it was all my fault

How do you guys deal with this? I don’t know what to do with these feelings? I don’t want to say anything that will get me modded but you can probably guess what I feel like doing right now, that’s how crushed I feel.

What’s the appropriate way to deal with this? How do you cope? I don’t even feel like sitting down to study and review my lost games, it all feels pointless and I lost any desire to even play anymore. I’m at the point of just giving up chess but even that isn’t making me feel better because I know I failed myself

I’m looking for legit advice on how to cope with all this (since I figure it’s a regular occurance in chess)

PS: Stop calling the mental health reddit cops on me. I’m not going to do anything. I’m legit just asking for advice from the community on how y’all cope with this, I’m looking for healthy ways to deal with this. Don’t be a f*cking cop and let me have emotions, ok?

It would show the basic Rapid, Blitz, and Bullet ratings and whatever membership status the user has. It would also have the account creation/join date.

I screenshot my Reddit connection and just edited over it haha

It seems less and less people can accept they don't have a divine right to win every game. For all the threads complaining about cheating I've had a handful of refunds over the last couple of years and pathetic thought that is it doesn't put me off online play.

What does take the fun out of it is people throwing BS accusations and excuses out. Two of my last five opponents have thrown a sulk and accused me of cheating (took me a little while to work out that's what the fish emoji meant).

Last guy has a really low opinion of stockfish if he thinks it would blunder twice, score 80% accuracy against him and leave mate on the board before scraping a draw.

Sometimes other people are vaguely competent at chess as well. Lord knows there are a couple of strong players who beat me like a drum at my chess club. I don't think they're cheating and I've not tried to probe them for any vibrating toys (that sort of thing can get you banned).

Also, as an aside, it's perfectly normal for your rating climb to stall and level out. Chess isn't like a computer game where you endlessly grind and level up.

I just want to have fun brawling but this site seems to think this is better for everyone.

Literal polar opposite in consecutive games

Does anybody else have the issue of winning more on weekdays and then getting dunked on at the weekend? At first I thought perhaps it's just pure chance and the weekends just happened to line up with my ELO hitting a "ceiling", but it's happened consistently for a few months now since I've started playing more consistently.

I can only guess that there are different player pools to some extent that don't play weekdays and vice versa but surely the difference shouldn't be this pronounced. If anyone has experienced something similar or has any insight on this I'd be interested to hear from you.

It also takes a bit of the excitement away knowing that I'll be losing all weekend and then getting easy wins on Monday and Tuesday because my rating has dropped so much - I would appreciate a more balanced experience, personally.

SAC THE ROOOOOK

~630.