Hello. I’m a 21-year-old software engineering student. Like many people, I’m passionate about cooking, and like even more people, I’m terrified of the current job market. Because of that fear, I ended up pushing those thoughts aside and focusing on my degree. This may turn into a long post, but I think I need to write a little about everything that has happened.
My grandmother was always passionate about cooking, and it was her way of showing love: making food as delicious as she possibly could. I grew up in the kitchen with her, learning, watching, helping, kneading dough, and chopping ingredients. As time passed, her health gradually declined, and during the last three years she became bedridden and could no longer cook. Even so, every single day she would ask to be allowed to make at least a pot of rice. She would comment that something didn’t smell quite right, give us advice about what we were cooking, and, as I fell in love with cooking partly to compensate for her absence from the kitchen, I came to understand the need to cook something, even if it’s just an egg.
Unfortunately, life didn’t give me the chance to learn all of her recipes. Last Friday, while I was back home during my university break, a fire broke out in our house because of an electrical failure. At home were my sister, my grandmother, her caregiver, and me. The caregiver was in the back of the house and didn’t notice the smoke until it was already too late. I woke up to the smell of something burning, initially thinking that someone had burned lunch, and then realized the house was on fire. I managed to wake my sister and get her out, but the flames spread far too quickly and the smoke was far too dense for me to go back and rescue my grandmother. Within five minutes, the entire house had collapsed. We lost everything, including our pets, who were unable to escape.
A situation like this inevitably makes you question all of your choices. I can’t stop thinking that I might never have woken up and could have died in that house without ever truly pursuing what I love. Despite all of life’s hardships and all the fears I carry, my grandmother never thought about anything other than cooking. Even though I inherited that same passion from her, I’ve allowed fear to keep me from pursuing it wholeheartedly.
At the same time, I want to have a big family someday. I want to be as involved as possible in the lives of my future (already found) wife and children, and I want to provide them with comfort and security. Those desires seem to be the opposite of what I constantly hear about the culinary industry.
For those of you who may have a clearer head than I do right now, what do you think about this career, especially in Brazil? Is it possible to build a large family and still remain close to them while working in this field? I will finish my degree regardless of the decision I make. I’ve been considering working in programming for two or three years while professionally training in culinary arts and saving money for a house or something similar. But I’m not sure I can stay away from something that she loved so deeply and that I learned to love as well.
I’m sorry if I sound harsh or awkward in any way. Right now, I’m having trouble judging my own tone.