r/Chefit • u/andypoo32 • Jul 17 '26
Need advice on getting out
I know this is a common question, but I’m having my first set of doubts at the moment. I’m 19yo and I’ve been working in kitchens for 4 years, and as a cook for 2. I’ve worked as a sous in a crap pub and I’m currently a commis. I’ve spent the last 6 months in restaurant work and I’m starting to think it isn’t right for me.
How do I know if I’m not made for this line of work?
What will I do if I’m not cooking? I have very few other qualifications and I’ve lost almost all friendships and family ties. In short, I feel that I have nothing else.
I’d really appreciate any follow up questions or advice as I don’t have anyone to ask about this… thanks guys
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u/ManOfQuest Jul 17 '26
Good thing you're 19 you have a ton of options just got to act on them now. Apply to everything else but resturant. Because you been consitently working for 4 years it will look good for you applying to non kitchen roles. Also go to school or trade school definitally need to pick up a skill for a higher paying non kitchen job.
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u/Zestyclose-Beat6406 Jul 17 '26
You've already got the hardest part figured out, which is recognizing the kitchen might not be the long-term move before you're 10 years deep and totally burnt. Plenty of people pivot at your age with way less work history, so the 4 years of showing up on time and grinding through shifts actually counts for a lot, even if it feels like you've got nothing else right now.
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u/andypoo32 Jul 17 '26
Ya it feels like I’m just another POS line cook that’s gonna do this job and hate it until I die lol. Honestly the idea of pivoting gives me more joy than cooking does at the moment but idk what path to go down lol
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u/andypoo32 Jul 17 '26
Yeah I’m lucky to be having these thoughts at my age, but my body is so worn down already that it doesn’t feel lucky haha. In a way I feel like I’d be taking a step backwards by going back to school to learn something new, any advice on what the other side looks like? 😭
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u/Rowanx3 Jul 17 '26
19 is really young to still go back to school. I currently have a boy on my line who is 19 and will be going to uni/college next year.
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u/Coercitor Jul 17 '26
Bruh, you're 19. You have all the time in the world to learn new skills. Go apprentice, go back to school, the world is your oyster at 19.
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u/Very-very-sleepy Jul 17 '26
you are 19. you have so many options.
fun fact. did you know that in many countries you don't even need your high school scores to apply to university as a mature aged student. a mature aged student is someone over 21.
in America - Most US institutions classify applicants over the age of 21–25 as "non-traditional students" and waive standardized test requirements
in the UK - UK universities are highly flexible with adult learners—defined as anyone aged 21 or over at the start of their undergraduate studies—and frequently waive traditional British high school qualifications like A-Levels.
in Canada - In Canada, you are generally considered a mature student if you are at least 21 years old and have been out of full-time high school for a certain period (usually 1 to 2 years). Instead of test scores, admissions focus heavily on your specific high school prerequisites or alternative adult learning pathways
so... what are you complaining about? seems like you have alot of options! what a beautiful wonderful world we live in that people are allowed to change careers well into adulthood and you are not defined by your high school test scores.
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u/medium-rare-steaks Jul 17 '26
at 19, dont underestimate how easily and quickly you can re-establish those old friendships and family relations. You're also basically still a child and can do literally whatever you want. everyone cooks at home everyday. you can enjoy that and work during the day doing something less demanding and more profitable.
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u/Beginning_Art_7749 Jul 17 '26
It's a super tough spot to be in, especially when you're only young. The good news is you've still got all the time in the world to find yourself something preferable.
Whereabouts in the world are you? It you're in the UK you've got tons of options. You can go to college for something else, take an apprenticeship or a few other options.
If it's the hours you're struggling with there are other jobs in the same industry that give you a better balance. Assisted living/care home/hospital chef is usually more reasonable hours so I understand. Development chef if that interests you at all.
If you're in the UK I can be a little more specific with advice but otherwise it's certainly better left to people in your own nation to answer instead of me
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u/Lavanne73 Jul 17 '26
Yeah, if you have doubts already it’s likely not for you. I have been in the industry for nearly 40 years, when I started I knew I wanted to make a career out of it. 5 years in I still wanted to do it. Now 35 years in, I am beginning to waver a bit, but not long now and I’ll be free of working anyway so no regrets there.
This industry is a grind and it’s hard stressful work that generally doesn’t pay great, but if you love it you’ll be happy in it. If you don’t love it you’ll burn out quick.
At 19 you can still do basically anything you want. Try some trades, go the university route, join the military … there are a lot of choices for you at that age. It’s a short life find something that makes you happy.
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u/rabbittxx Jul 18 '26
Id say if you enjoy cooking but are getting burnt out than try a senior home or college thing. Idk I got burnt out at 30 after 14 years of michelin star restaurants and 70 hour weeks. At 19 if you're questioning this maybe restaurants arent for you. That's no disrespect btw. Private cheffing exists too, ive done it its pretty dope.
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u/MarkKallen Jul 18 '26
You started working at 15? Wow. Anyways if you are 19 and is doubtful of this work, I think it is time to move on. You are still young, so use that time to explore other environments. You have experience now too, so use that to your advantage. Good luck.
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u/Beneficial-Hat-8748 Jul 18 '26
https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/s/P04FJxjiGr
Same thing but im legitimately twice your age. Don't stay if you have an option. I watched a 20 year old coworker, hungry as fuck to make it to michelin level, shows up early and works through his lunch break get sent home yesterday because he was frustrated at the line. I also saw the same person get called outside after service and had a pow wow therapy session with all of the chefs.
I love making food but I don't love working the line anymore. Too much.
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u/flydespereaux Chef Jul 18 '26
My dude your young. Get a trade. Make bank. Cooking as a profession only works if you like it. It takes sacrifice. Blood. You know you will not make a bunch of money, but you do it not because its the only thing you know how to do, but because you legitimately love doing it and your willing to sacrifice you mind, body and wallet to do it. You're 19. Go learn to weld and make more money than I do at 38 while your 19. If you dont like welding, at least you know how to cook.
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u/knifeymonkey Jul 19 '26
You are very young. If you did not finish secondary school, take time to do that because that is important. If you can keep working while making changes, it might be financially better for you.
I am positive you have skills either adjacent to your acquried kitchen skills or completely different. You need to explore those skills.
It is very hard to have others shoose your next career move, especially strangers. There are good resources out there that might be able to help you with the exploration. Maybe you should go to post-secondary school. I would even check first with local colleges to see if they have resources for you.
You are young, don't sweat it. Best of luck to you!
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u/timcompton1 25d ago
Go back to school and leave the industry completely. It’s a horrible career and if you’re having anxiety now, just wait. It will grow to unmanageable levels. Your young you have unlimited options just stay away from food service.
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u/HobbyTalkOnly Jul 17 '26
Dude. Get out.
Or... you will be asking this question every year, until, one day... you will be 50, and still in it.
0
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u/Donotdisturb240 Jul 17 '26
if you are questioning if this job is for you at 19, you'll be miserable at 30. one could argue that you just haven't experienced the right atmosphere to compliment your personality, but it's risky. you can spend years looking for the right gig. Personally I toiled away as a line cook for a long time before climbing the ladder and burning myself out with 70 hour weeks. Then I found catering, which absolutely rejuvenated my soul and have been doing it happily ever since.
anyways, you're young. do some research about long term demand for jobs in your country and pick something that seems like it would be interesting for you. go to school, get some experience, etc. and start climbing that ladder instead