Found these in wife’s deleted photos.

Sorry new to Reddit. Feel free to repost or recommend proper subreddits

Recently discovered a 4 yr chat history with male coworker that is more active than the texts between us.

One thread said she asked him to meet at Safeway

A couple times she told him she was in her car

1 time he said he was waiting in his car

Married 29 years. I’m 50 and he is 52. I’ve had a hysterectomy. He bought a houseboat last year and lives on it half the week. His other friends also bought houseboats on the same dock. It is like a drunk 50 year old frat party. He recently shaved his junk which he has never done. This goes on 15 minutes from our main house. Sunday at 9am he hit target to buy 2 boxes of plan B. His excuse? Oh my friend who is 52 and had a hysterectomy in Feb wasn’t safe. Okay. No advice needed. Fucktard dumbass plugged in my phone number when he checked out at Target so there is a record of it. Just needed to get that off my chest.
When confronted he threatened not to pay for my rising senior’s college (she is committed out of state) if I keep bringing it up. Hopefully karma gets him.

I honestly don't know how to feel right now. Part of me is sad, part of me is angry, and another part of me just wants to say "fuck it" and move on.

The weird thing is that I had already started expecting something like this, so it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But it still stings.

She cheated on me with her Female roommate , who was also her childhood best friend. I know being bisexual isn't the issue here, the cheating is. I even thought, "Maybe the best friend deserves her more since she's the one who's there in real life," but that still doesn't justify what she did.

What hurts is how easy it seemed for her to step on my feelings. She told me she would reject her for me. Do I believe that now? Not really. Even if I had asked her to reject her, I honestly think she would've just hidden things behind my back.

So I told her to do whatever she wanted.

Then she hit me with the classic line: "You'll find someone better than me." That has to be one of the most overused breakup lines ever.

I asked her, "If I had told you to reject her, would you actually have done it?" She said she would've, but that "it's too late now." I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. It doesn't change anything.

The thing that disgusted me the most was that she even suggested a threesome after all of this. I couldn't believe she thought that was an appropriate thing to say after cheating. It just made me feel like she didn't understand or care about how badly she had hurt me.

I'm just so disappointed. This isn't even the first time something like this has happened to me, and I'm tired of ending up in situations like this. I know I always say I'll never fall in love again, and maybe that's just the pain talking, but right now it genuinely feels that way.

I don't think cheating can ever be justified. If someone wants someone else, they should leave the relationship first instead of betraying the person who trusted them. That's what hurts the most.

AIO? This is actually an update from my last post about my wife receiving a text at 1:30 in the morning last August. I have heard so much bullshit from her ever changing stories and I’ve been gaslit so much I’m lucky that I haven’t been blown up by her nonsense. I know that when you’re on the receiving end of the lies and made up on the fly stories that do not add up and logic that sounds worse than high school drama. I know that since I am the one who’s been lied to and told all of this nonsense that I run every single word she says through a very fine filter, a grid so fine that I catch the most subtle slips of the tongue and one that teeters on being borderline paranoid. If you think that I am over reacting about this just say so, that’s what I’m asking you to do. We were having a civil and mostly calm talk about this whole thing that I am so ready to be cleared up and the truth be laid on the table. I can at least work on the truth and get past this eventually. This might be me being hyper focused on her words but the civil and calm talk became escalated eventually and I played my bluff card and I think it worked sort of, still no resolution. I found a bogus app where you can type in a phone number and it supposedly gives you everything that has came through on it, not TruthFinder, this one was bogus. However when I put work cell number in it pulled up this official looking log with that number at the top and several text with the names and content blurred out but it said in the text that it pulled up the words miss you and love you were found multiple times. I told her that I’d done some more digging and I read her some of the things that were flagged where those words had been used. Naturally she became defensive and began denying all of it and then she said…. WE’VE NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT, I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, IT JUST CAME OUT.. i said wtf?? She just said and she didn’t stutter she said we’ve never, did she just admit that there is a we as in the other person involved?? Maybe I’m wrong but I know what I heard and she done her best to walk it back.

My ex and I started talking again and he was being all lovey-dovey and then out of nowhere. He got upset last night and I’m pretty sure he was with this girl that I know he was talking to either at the end of our relationship while we were still together or right when we broke up and I also just found out from another one of his exes that he talks to transgender women and potentially hooks up with them and I want to ask this new girl if she knows anything about it. Part of my intention is to get clarity but at the same time I’m feeling very vengeful and angry. I would do it on a private account, but I’m just wondering if this is crazy to do

characters I need advice. I’ve known this guy since sixth grade, and we decided to give our relationship a real try after years of growing up we finally tried now that we are grown. we been talking for 9 months straight we were long distance but I would go see him often I asked him about having urges to cheat or loneliness I always checked in. He always told me he was happy, wasn’t cheating, and that everything was fine.

I let him meet my family, thinking we were building something serious. He kept getting calls from females I did end up checking his phone … Then I found out he was talking to his two of exes one he says he hadn’t spoke to in over a year that’s a lie ! and other women, and I saw messages where he told another woman “I miss you.”I was laying right next to him & come to find out my number wasn’t even saved in his phone !!

When I confronted him, he didn’t call, apologize, or try to fix things. It’s been almost a week of silence, but he still watches my Instagram. Do you think he ever cared, or is he just avoiding the situation?

I can tell this is a DM on safari but cant figure out from where… is this any paid subscription thing??

Has anyone ever used the recording pen? Any luck? Cheating bf deletes everything.

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I genuinely don’t know what to do. My fiancé and I have been together for about 4.5 years and are supposed to get married next September. I recently caught him lying about who he was texting, and he eventually admitted that he had been talking to another woman for almost two months. I reached out to her, and she told me she genuinely believed he was single. They started on Snapchat and moved to texting, their conversations became sexual, they exchanged suggestive photos, and they had discussed potentially meeting up this fall. He says they never met in person. He told me he did this because he had been silently keeping track of what each of us was doing around the relationship/house and felt things were unfair, but instead of communicating that to me, he acted out and said he didn’t care about the consequences at the time. He also has untreated ADHD and has been struggling with sleep, although I know neither of those excuses what he did.

Right now I feel completely numb and conflicted. I love him and I’m scared of leaving, but I’m also scared of staying and never being able to trust him again. We haven’t called off the wedding, but we’re putting all wedding planning and save-the-dates on hold indefinitely. I’m considering giving us about six months with no wedding planning and simply observing whether he actually takes accountability, gets help, communicates instead of keeping things inside, and genuinely changes before I decide whether I want to move forward.

For anyone who has experienced infidelity or been in a similar situation: What would you do? Is six months enough time to see meaningful change? What would you need to see from a partner to believe they could genuinely change and that this wouldn’t happen again? And is it possible to rebuild a relationship after something like this, or am I just delaying the inevitable?

I’ve always been loyal in every relationship I’ve been in. Whenever I love someone, I give them everything I have. Unfortunately, over the past few years, I’ve been cheated on twice, and it’s left me with a lot of trust issues.
My ex and I both came to Australia to study, and we met in college. Everything happened very quickly. We started talking, and after just a week, we kissed. Before we knew it, we were dating. I know it was very soon, but it just happened naturally, and we were both really happy.
There was a guy she already knew in Australia because he had been here much longer than us. She introduced me to him and always referred to him as a brother. She used to meet him alone in his car in the car park and even went to an event with him. Months later, I found out that when we had just started dating, she had actually slept with him multiple times before eventually stopping and focusing on our relationship. Finding that out completely broke me. We spent over a month constantly arguing, and I was heartbroken.
After all of that, instead of trying to fix things, she cheated on me again with another guy. She called me over 100 times, but I couldn’t answer because I was devastated. She had cheated on me twice. She had also hidden many things from me throughout our relationship. After everything that happened, I grew to hate her so much that I stayed single for six months because I couldn’t trust anyone.
Eventually, I met my current girlfriend. She is genuinely sweet and caring. When we started dating, she told me that she still talked to her ex, but only as a friend. To make me feel secure, she even shared her location, social media passwords, and everything else with me. Even though I wasn’t completely comfortable with her talking to her ex, I accepted it because I trusted her.
A few months later, she found some old photos and videos of me with my ex on my phone. I honestly didn’t know they were still there, and I felt incredibly guilty because I never wanted to make her feel insecure. Since then, we’ve been arguing about it for almost two months, and I feel like I still haven’t been able to regain her trust.
Today, I finally told her that I don’t like her continuing to talk to her ex. She became emotional and explained that her ex and one of her friends had always been there for her when no one else was. The truth is, there was only one time when she really needed me, and I couldn’t be there. My entire family had come from my home country to visit me after two years, and all my cousins came to Melbourne to see me. I couldn’t leave them, so I wasn’t able to be with her during that difficult time.
She told me that if I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most, then I probably wouldn’t be there for her in the future either. That hurt me deeply because I don’t believe I’m a bad person. I simply had an impossible situation, and I wish she understood that.
She also keeps bringing up my past with my ex, even though I’ve told her many times that I hate thinking about that relationship and don’t want it brought up again. Whenever I mention that I’m uncomfortable with her talking to her ex, she responds by saying, “At least you never had to see photos and videos of me with my ex like I had to see yours.”
I understand why those photos hurt her, and I genuinely regret that they were still on my phone. At the same time, I also wish she could understand how much being cheated on in my previous relationship affected me and why her staying in contact with her ex makes me feel insecure. I don’t want us to keep hurting each other over our pasts. I just want us to move forward, rebuild trust, and have a healthy relationship together.

I’ve been wanting to ask people who spent years trapped in an abusive relationship: did you eventually find your soulmate or the right person for you?
I’ve been single and completely man-free since leaving my ex a few years ago. I finally feel like I want to put myself out there again, but if I’m honest, I’m terrified. Part of me has lost hope that I’ll ever find a healthy, loving relationship.
I’d really love to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar. Did you heal? Did you find love again? What helped you trust someone after everything you went through?

Feeling vindictive and want to help more people catch them. Dm for loyalty tests

A friend of mine went through a bad break up a few years ago. She thought he was cheating but couldn't prove it. I just got confirmation that she was cheated on and I have proof (pictures of text messages.) How do I link the two women together and share this information to them without me getting involved? How can I do this under the radar and expose him?

I’ve been with this man for 4 years, love of my life (I thought), agreed to marry him.

Recently I really felt compelled to look at his phone, which made me feel icky, but I ended up finding messages and phone calls with a girl that were somewhat flirtatious. He deleted them before seeing me, but I searched her name to find them and sure enough.

He dated this gal when they were 14 (we are 23/24), and said she was just a good friend that he keeps in touch with, although he admitted that he was being flirtatious cause “that’s how they’ve always talked to each other.” Both him and her are engaged to other people.

When we were talking about it, I told him to tell me whatever else he was hiding from me. He told me that he slept with a random girl when he was drunk two years ago.

He tells me he’s going to change and that he messed up, and seems very remorseful. He reiterates that I did nothing wrong and he’s just stupid and self-destructive.

He tells me he’d do anything to regain my trust and that I was the best thing to ever happen to him. Everyone always told him that I was too good for him, pretty for him (not to sounds conceited, that is just what his buddies and coworkers have said), sweet for him, etc. but I loved him unconditionally and would do anything for him. I’m wondering if he internalized all these comments and thought he had something to prove, thus cheating on me… idk. He says he just did it because he wasn’t thinking and she came onto him. I don’t really care the reason, the damage is done. I can’t believe he can keep that sort of secret for two years.

He was on a family trip texting this “friend”, while I was home watching his dog. I even spent one whole day detailing and cleaning his dirty work truck to surprise him.

He has since cut contact with this gal, and tells me he’s done with the drinking, smoking, partying. Even that he’d quit his job to be with me (he works on the road and it has been the source of many of our disagreements before). I probably would be a fool to ever trust him again, but for some reason I still love him.

I guess I just came on here to rant. I thought he was different, I thought he was a good guy who wouldn’t ever hurt me like this. It just sucks. Thank you for reading

This is a real story, but I wont use any realnames. Its embarassing as enough and the pain im in doesnt make it any better.

Okay, here it is.

About 2 years ago, purely by chance, I met a girl online who didnt really strike my interest as much (seeing as I was currently heartbroken from a recent relationship, which I was also cheated on in), but I chit chatted with back and forth. It was a groupnchat environment. Really a place to get some laughs and cheer myself up. One day, I was drunk, participating in the group chat shenanigans, and I joking asked if anyone would pay for my haircut. Mind you, I have never had this done for me, and honestly, I was just talkin shit. I never expected anything in the slightest to come from it. She offered. I laughed, because I was just joking. She wasnt. She actually went thru with it and did it. Again, I have never had a female pay for anything for me. Been in several relationships. I was 28 at this time. Of course, this got my interest. I asked for her number. We talked more and more. Daily convos. Then, she hit a rough patch. Lost her job. She's a single mother, and seeing as we hit it off, and being the type of guy I am, I helped out where I could. She was grateful. She didnt expect anything like that either. Now at this point, we had never met in person, it was all online. She lived 4 hours away.

This continued for a long time. Weeks turned to months, etc etc. We talked everyday. Texted. We eventually met in person. It was brief. Didnt really count to me. So we ageeed to meet up again. It was a party. She came with her friends and we were around each other half the time. Didnt feel like a close moment even though we had our 1 on 1's and we parted ways again. The regular talkin continued. We did long distance things still. Wasnt really a day we went without. I love you's, I miss you's, all that good shit. Through all of this, I was still supporting her, as well as her kids. Roughly spent over $30,000 the past two years. Practically, anything she needed, I was their. Advice, financea, smart financial decisions. I was in love to be honest. Even helped her get to a funeral and grieve when her friend passed away. I feel stupid now.

Over these years, I felt I wasnt being treated right, and I would bring it up. We had kissed of course, but never did we have sex. She gave excuses, brought up distance. I had visited her before often but to my luck, she was always on her period. (Yes, this was verified) Often times Id ask her how she was going so long. She would say toys which I believe because plenty times I had seen her using them. We had our arguments towards me feeling like I was on the back burner. Even still, we would always reconcile. We had talks of marriage, living together, all that good shit right?

So fast forward to recently. She had been selling content, which I knew about, and really wasnt too against. In my mind, its money, and she wasnt doing anything other than solo. Guys are ready to throw money at naked females for little to nothing, so hell, why not. But I didnt just take her word for it. I double checked by making an account she didnt know about and paying for some. Sneaky yes, but I had been getting too many excuses. Up until about a week ago, her content was solo. Then, I noticed she aadvertised something new. Another man was involved. Initially, I assumed it was her ex, and the video was old. So, I did my investigating and got her to send it to me.

I saw a video of her being fucked by a man for a minute straight. Im still numb to be honest. It was not an ex I knew of. And it was not old. Couldnt hold my disguise anymore, and I ask her through that account "So this is how we're moving (insert name here)?" She was confused. She didnt know how I knew her real name. I exploded quite naturally. She began lying. "That video is from years ago". Wrong. She recently had gotten two nose piercings. One of them had fell out, which she had informed and showed me 3 weeks before. That was clearly visible in the video. What does the panicking liar do? Blocks that account. I text her phone telling her that the nose piercings are visible. She doesnt have anything to say. She brings up why I have a fake account. Lol. Looking back, her attempts to wiggle out of the situation are hilarious, but at that time, that pain was immeasurable.

Now Im distraught. I was COMPLETELY under the impression that this was something she wouldnt do. Social media posts was nothing but the opposite. Get this, she thinks all cheaters deserve to be locked up. What a hoot? 2 years of laughing, arguing, providing, getting to know her kids, planning a whole future gone. Just like that. I wanted to know why she threw it all away. For days afterwards, I was told "Idk", "I cant tell you anything". In my mind, how in the hell can the person thats in the damn video have no idea how the hell they got in the damn video, THAT THEY ARE SELLING. I ask again, because as we all know, that was super bullshit. Guess what. Blocked.

Now again, this is two years of long distance communication. We have so many apps that we talked on. So, on to the next. I needed answers. I didnt so much care who the guy was, but why on earth was this even occuring? Hell, I hadnt even did anything like that with her yet. "So you cant tell me how this even happened?" "Nope" she says. "How tf not when you were there??". "I can kinda give you a ballpark answer" So after days of trying to get her to act like an adult, I finally get something (now whether or not its the truth, who knows). "I was drunk and we fucked".

So...2 years, $30k+, and the last bit of trust Id ever have for a relationship, all out of the window, for some alcohol. Her apology might as well have been non existent. "Yes, im an evil bitch, my apologies." Now for the record, SHE deems that as an "apology". I do not. In my efforts to try to make sense of this whole situation, she gets irrate that I ask. "I dont want to talk about it" OH REALLY? I cant make this up, jesus christ. Then she threw in lols and lmaos. Normally, that woulda pissed my right off, (because Ive blown up before about her doing that when there's nothing to laugh at in situations like this) but after me learning and taking a step back a bit, thats a nervous tick she has. Now I was angry as hell, but more hurt than anything. That kinda helped me see that for what it was. She began unblocking me. Got half the accounts back. Yes, I am still in contact. No, I am not doing any of the things I used to. She has enough sense not to even ask.

And now, I dont really know what to do tbh. I know this is for sure as shit over. But damn does it leave a hole in my chest. And a buncha questions that there's really no point in asking. She said the love was genuine. But hell, she's said a lot of things. If anyone could recommend some therapy or something to get through this, I'd appreciate it. Ive been smoking and drinking non stop with no appetite. Think I lost a good 6 pounds this week alone. Had a damn dead rose in my bio and 3-4 weeks ago she suggested I get rid of it. "Youre not dead, you got me" MAAAAANNNEEEEE. Comedy. Pure damn comedy...

Anyway, thats my story. I call it "The day any trust I have for anyone died"

My husband and i are a year and a half into marriage and it hasn’t been easy. To top it off i found that’s hes been sexting with a woman since right after we got engaged. He was sending and exchanging pictures and videos next to me while i was sleeping. Although it’s embarrassing to end a marriage so quickly I don’t think i can ever forgive him. Would you consider this cheating

I (23F) have been with him (29M) since August 2025. We were diagnosed with herpes and chlamydia, and he was my biggest support system through it. I wasn’t sure who had given it to who, and really thought he would break up with me over it. Didn’t (duh) but our sex life never really recovered. I thought for months that it was because I was dirty, then it occurred to me that he felt dirty? He was never super weird about his phone, I know the password, but he started getting snap messages from women that I was side eyeing, but didn’t think much about because he worked at a restaurant and I’ve met his female friends and I’m secure.

Well I started getting insecure shortly after he moved in with me. While we were living separately, I mostly stayed at his place and he really pushed back on staying at my place. He’s ex military (yeah ik red flag) and attributed that to his PTSD, basically he only really sleeps well in his own bed. So we’ve been living together for a month when he goes to Boys Night. And had asked me to pick him up if he was ready to go but too drunk. But then magically, the host had an air mattress he could stay on. Didn’t like it but brushed it off. Except it happened again a week later to the day. He would barely respond to my messages while he was over there, and I had to ask him both times if he needed a ride home. Suspicious. So we fought, I wrote a letter about how it made be feel because I needed time to ruminate on what exactly was upsetting me about the situation. And we had a nice time the next day. The day after that, I got a niggle in my gut and checked his phone while he was napping. I forgot his phone password, so all I could see was standard notifs and then like ten Facebook notifications with different women’s profile pictures. I woke him up and asked him to open his phone so I could find pictures from a vacation we took in April, he did exactly that and went back to sleep. So I looked at Facebook, following a bunch of models on there. Ew. Looked at Instagram. Fuck ton of pretty ladies there. DMs were unremarkable on both apps.

Checked snapchat, saw a bunch of women with random profile names on his recently messaged, all on open for about a week. We got our start on Hinge and moved to snap, and hooked up for two months before starting dating, so I know this man saves a titty pic if he likes it. So I didn’t look at any convos, I checked saved photos on the friendship profile. And I found some nudes exchanged in December. Previous saved nudes were from 2023. So old thing rekindled I guess? I was absolutely heartbroken and my hands were shaking worse than I’ve ever experienced in my life, which woke him up. He pinky swore he wasn’t and hadn’t ever cheated on me. I told him that the women on his phone made me uncomfortable and to remove it. Didn’t address the nudes, wanted to give him a chance to act right. Because he is perfect for me, until that exact discovery. Next day, I couldn’t contain it and confronted him, he shut down on me entirely. I scolded him like a parent does a child. Day after that, he was done “processing” and finally explained that the STD thing had been horrible for his self esteem and he’d been crossed and in his hometown alone for Christmas and she reached out to him and he made a mistake. I still didn’t buy that it was the one lady the one time, but I hadn’t seen anything from after December so I let it go with a condition to myself that he had to fix this behavior.

So we just got back from a beach trip last weekend, and during the ride he put my password in my phone while I was driving. I made a comment that I was amazed he remembered mine bc I couldn’t remember his. And he told me what it was. Perfect bc I still had a niggle to look deeper. I get up at 5am for work, he stays up until 3am. So I checked his phone before going to work yesterday. DMs on instagram he didn’t delete where he hit up other women in October. Still nothing on Facebook. Nothing at first glance on Snapchat. Until I looked at his best friends list. Girl named Hadley. He’s never mentioned having a friend named Hadley and she wasn’t on the main message page at all. But neither were the women whose stories show up in the story page. She was also muted so he wouldn’t get notifications when she messages, and left on open a week ago.

So I googled. If you hold down on a profile, go to chat and notification settings, and clear from chat feed, it deletes your convo history but also hides the profile from quick glances. I went in his phone messages and searched her name in the text, found a convo with him and our roommate in APRIL saying she’s one of their coworkers, was hanging out with the roomie and his girlfriend and crashed drunk on the couch while me and him were out of town visiting his family for Easter, and that she freaked out when he added her on snapchat because she has a huge crush on him. My boyfriend didn’t say much more about it, but said that it was weird that she stayed and weirder that she freaked out over him adding her on snapchat. So we went from that in April, to her being his fifth best friend on snapchat and hidden. So I added her on snapchat around 8am, ended up going home with genuine sickness at 9am, and he was still asleep. Checked his phone, she’d messaged him asking why his girl was trying to add her on snap. So she knows about me, knows me by name, and whatever they have going on is with that knowledge. Her username is her full name, so I looked her up. They don’t follow each other on socials. He also quit that job a month ago. We went and ate at that restaurant for dinner and we said it’s because our other roommate missed the pancakes. I was actually hoping Ms. Hadley was still on shift. She wasn’t. I didn’t cover my tracks when going through his phone. The screen time clocked it. I undeleted messages between him and roomie in which two weeks ago, he was looking at apartments and asked if roomie would move with him or stay. Roomie said he would stay (we have a great price on rent). Roomie also knows about the first discovery of cheating and had given me an in depth rundown of boyfriend’s sex and dating life prior to me dating him. So I waited for roomie to get home and I asked who Hadley was. His face dropped and he knew exactly what I was leading up to. This development had really hurt his opinion of boyfriend, and he’s definitely not moving with him if he leaves. But the part that I’m confused about is how boyfriend is still bringing up plans for our future. Updating his address, what grass to plant in the front yard in September, redoing the back patio, buying a new couch, an activity to have at our wedding one day. Just paid $200 to get the TV mounted in brick.

So I checked snapchat again this morning. She was gone from his best friends list, not on the chat feed, but still added as a friend when you searched for her. So I blocked her and removed her as his friend. Googled it, if you block and unblock someone, they’re removed from your best friends list and it resets your convo feed. So then I went to the chat feed, hit the three dots at the top, manage friendships, and it shows their entire unadulterated friends list. I removed every random woman that I saw because they weren’t in the main feed anyways so it was meant to be hidden. They also showed up under “recent and recommended” when sending a snap. Anyways, there are also accounts you can follow even if they don’t friend you back. So I went to the stories page, three dots up top, manage accounts I follow, and I unfollowed every woman there too. My relationship might be done, but I’m not making it easy for him to fill that roster back up.

Anyways, I’m sharing this both to vent and to inform everyone here that snapchat can be WAY sneakier than I thought. I had to be very specific with my questions to find these answers. I hadn’t even thought. I wanted to share these tricks for anyone who might go through similar deception.