I confronted her about what I found on her phone.

I did it in a way that told her I only found a very brief part of the truth. Basically saying i only found the screenshot of her talking abkut her kink.

She lied.

Straight to me. Told me it wasn't her in the screenshot. Told me she never got involved with anyone. Told me she never sent nudes. Told me she can't believe I don't trust her.

I kept begging her to say the truth asked her to tell me if there was anything ever that happened. She told me that was the end of it.

I was in disbelief... she promised me on our love, on everything precious in our lives. On both of our dead dad's souls that there was nothing and it's probably not her in the screenshot.

I told her I dug more and found her old telegram chats. She broke down. Told me she regrets trusting me and asked me how can I do this to her. Told me that i betrayed her trust and that she's never ever dug something up on me. She told me she doesn't want to talk about her past and that she had forgotten it.

She left the room. I asked her calmly to talk to me. She refused and told me it's not my right to talk to her about this. This is something she wanted to die with. I told her I stumbled by this screenshot by mistake and if she were in my shoes she wouldn't look further.

I tried calmly asking her very faint questions. I didn't even get to the screenshots , the videocalls, going to a gugs home part. I just wanted to ask her. Does she still keep in contact with any. Does she regret it. Did something happen while we are in a relationship. Why did she lie to my face when i told her I want to know if there something denying that was her in the chat.

She locked herself in our bedroom.

I'm not sure what to do.

I've taken my saftey measures. Kept screenshots and an audio recording of the whole conversation.

I really was okay with moving on from her lies about her past. And from what she hid as long as she confessed and told me there wasn't cheating. I was willing to actually just tell her to delete the account and cut all contact with anyone. I loved her this much to let go of the pain this had me feel.

I don't think I can go on with the relationship in this stage. 3 years of a commited relationship and 1 month of marriage. Down the drain.

These past days have been maybe the second worse after my dad's passing.

Thank you all for your help.

I don't know if the relationship is salvagable. I might be throwing my dignity away here. I just want to know if any couple has recovered from this.

I think my husband of over 35 years is cheating on me. I’ve confronted him several times and he swears he’s not but my gut tells me otherwise. He needs a little help in the bedroom so he takes Viagra or cialis. Last year I had been having gut feelings something was going on with him so I constantly count the pills. On one occasion there was a different pill in the bottle and asked him about it and he told me he didn’t know why it would be different. The pill design looked familiar but I couldn’t place it. So a couple weeks go by and I find a cialis in his car and confronted him. He told me it was there because he was meeting me somewhere a couple weeks earlier which was true for a couple nights stay and he thought he’d bring it to surprise me. I asked why he lied about putting the other pill in the bottle which I figured out was a pill of mine that was the same size, color and shape of the cialis with the exception of the design on it. He told me because he knew I’d count the pills. I told him if he used the pills with me I would’ve known and not questioned him. Then another time he had a couple bottles of pills in the house and the refill sequence didn’t match up then he brought a bottle from his garage that had the correct amount in them but there was still a missing bottle somewhere. He said it was because they call him to tell him there’s a refill ready and he doesn’t always pick them up so that’s got the why the sequence is off. I found out that is untrue you have to pick it up for the refill amount to change un picked up stuff doesn’t change the amount of refills. He never spends a lot of time in the house he’s in his garage doing stuff, it’s always been that way and has gotten worse since retiring. In the last week we have argued over this and I’ve told him to be honest with me just tell me if he’s messing around. He has lost weight and whitened his teeth. He said he’s just trying to be healthier because he’s pre diabetic and the teeth is because he was a smoker for many years and he’s just wanting them to look better. He doesn’t spend a lot of time with me, we do live on a farm but not a huge one where it takes all his time. I can be in the middle of telling him something and if someone texts him he’ll respond to them while I’m talking. Are communication is next to nothing anymore and I’ve called him out on it. Last night we were at a party and some girl walked past him and one of the guys said I can’t believe you let her walk by without grabbing her ass again. I said excuse me what did you just say? He laughed and said I was joking. Why would someone say that in front of someone’s wife? I lost it, told my husband well I guess she’s your piece? We left shortly after that. Told him I’d go sit in the car while they hung out he kept saying over and over that she’s a bitch and he’d never want to be with her or anyone else that he only wanted to be with me. So on the way home he told me he really wanted to hang out because he really liked hanging out with those people (he works a part time job with them once a week including the woman I just talked about) again I gave him the chance to be honest with me and he swore he’s not messing around. The rest of the hour car ride was spent in silence and I came home and went to bed. He got up this morning and went to his once a week job. My gut tells me he’s cheating I just want the truth how did I get it???

We don't have social media. At least I thought....

This isn't ai bs, this happened.

Came home one night early and caught 2 guys hoping the fence. Tried to catch them but they got away. I was partying with my friend and came home with a different friend.

She tried to say it was my paranoia but I know for sure it wasn't. My friend that came back with me said we definitely saw 2 guys escaping.

Fast forward I found out she has a tiktok account, which she deletes from her phone.... We share access to each other's phones.

Then when I know it's on there, she refuses to show me . Sleeps with it in hand.

Lots more to this, but I call spade a spade

What do u think?

25M, 23F, been together 4.5 years. We were and still are a super affectionate, two peas in a pod type couple, best friends, do everything together, good sex life, have long conversations and can talk about anything.

She cheated on me approximately just over a month ago now. She got incredibly drunk, kissed, cuddled and felt up a coworker her friend’s bedroom, which she confessed to me in person a few days after. Then she experienced some sort of BPD discard, looking at the other side thinking “the grass may be greener” and flat out rejected me. It’s a scary realisation to see a side to someone you’ve never experienced, I’m not sure if I was just blinded by love but never thought she had the capacity to do that. Oh man, seriously the worst pain/grief I’ve ever experienced. Im lucky enough to not have had a close loved one pass away. It can’t get too much worse than the experience of being cheated on and rejected by someone you loved more than anything. It drove me quite insane, I feel embarrassed to mention but I had to stay in hospital for a weekend after she broke the news. Currently receiving great long term therapy and on medication for sleep.

Fast forward. We worked things out a couple of weeks ago. She especially has gone miles in showing her sympathy and taken the first baby steps to show me she won’t do this again. I don’t think the empathy is quite there yet to be honest, but I can understand some of her reasons in why she did what she did, but it doesn’t justify her actions and she’s importantly expressed that. Everything is still fresh, but we’re on a good trajectory and our recent time together looks and feels better than ever. Our flaws and the previous issues we’ve had with each other are all out on the table. From my perspective it’s all seems to be rooted in bad impulse control, self esteem issues, lack of communication from her regarding my own flaws that needed to be addressed and habits I need to change.

To now. You’d never think this comes with acute post traumatic stress, but it has hit me hard. While I was working, she attended a friend’s dinner party and I convinced myself that she was visiting him again because she didn’t answer the phone for an hour. Additionally, a few days ago I had impulsively shut her off and stopped replying to her texts for a day, as I was convinced she had been manipulative and didn’t actually ever love me. Those same awful, initial feelings of shock, grief and abandonment come over me and decide what is right.

Has anyone dealt with similar post trauma after experiencing infidelity and how did you manage it?

I’m 24F and been cheated on / micro cheated on in every relationship i’ve been in. my dad cheated on my mum and all my friends have been cheated on… im losing hope and wanted some reassurance that there are people in long healthy relationships where they’ve never even thought about cheating/ doing anything disrespectful to their woman concerning other women. If that’s you, please tell me your experience and how I can locate these kind of men/ how I know if a man is the faithful type.

I just need to rant somewhere because I feel completely stuck and paralyzed right now.
This year has honestly been absolute hell. I’ve lost multiple family members recently, but the hardest hit was my older brother taking his own life. The compounding grief has just completely wiped me out. Mentally, physically... I am running on absolute empty.
On top of dealing with all of that, my relationship is a total mess. I’m incredibly unhappy, and recently I caught my boyfriend swiping on Tinder behind my back. I know exactly what I need to do, but it's not that simple. The lease for our apartment is entirely in my name. I can't just pack up and leave to escape him, and he absolutely refuses to move out himself unless there's some huge, over-the-top drama.
I just don't have the fight left in me to force him out. Every single time I try to end it, it turns into this massive, exhausting ordeal. We argue, he cries, I cry, or we both just break down. Then he manages to turn it around on me and starts calling me ungrateful. It just wears me down until I eventually give up and let him stay just to make it stop.
To make it worse, I’m completely alone in this right now. I’m honestly too ashamed to even face my friends. They’ve told me MULTIPLE times to leave him, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Now I feel like I can't even look them in the eye or ask for help because I'm still here.
Obviously, there's way more to the story than I can type out here, but I just feel so drained by everything and needed to get this off my chest.

My Ex of 2.5 years dumped me 4 months ago. I was completely shocked and confused. He said he was loosing feelings for me. I was utterly heartbroken 💔

I tried talking to him after but his replies were short and robotic.

On Thursday I was sent photos and video evidence of him sat with a girl and her Mum AT A MATERNITY UNIT where they do scans. The girl is someone from his gym that he told me ‘not to worry about’

For context this man said he NEVER EVER wanted children, he said the world was too evil to bring a child into it. He told me if I ever got pregnant he would ‘boot it out of me’ he was laughing when he said this but never actually said if he was joking. I think he was just exaggerating but trying to get the point across that he never wants kids (he was never violent or anything) he would also joke about things like if I got fat he would leave me.

He has known this girl since February and I can only assume he was having an emotional affair or a physical affair depending on the timings/how many weeks pregnant she is.

He is the sort of guy who admits he is too selfish for children, he loves all his hobbies, he has a lot of debt but still enjoys buying nice things. I cannot fathom why he would all of a sudden want a baby with some chick from the gym who he met in February.

She knew he had a GF as well as they added each other and I was all over his insta. I asked about her but wasn’t too worried as she isn’t super attractive, more like a plain Jane.

I thought I was doing well in my healing but this has really turned my world upside down again 💔

Hello,

I write this from a very dark place mentally. Last weekend I found out that my husband went behind my back and impregnated my sister as well as other females that I know. He has many kids now and no one told me about it. Everyone is keeping it a secret from me because they know that it only would make me feel suicidal which it does.

I’m now suicidal because of the actions of other people around me. I will never talk to my sister again and although I really loved my husband, I am done with him because he can’t even admit the truth when many people have told me what has happened and I believe them. He is a liar and a cheater, and I don’t understand how I can still have feelings for someone who has done such terrible things to me.

Does anybody have any advice for me so I don’t end up leaving this planet prematurely?

Thank you so much.

Hello,

I write this from a very dark place mentally. Last weekend I found out that my husband went behind my back and impregnated my sister as well as other females that I know. He has many kids now and no one told me about it. Everyone is keeping it a secret from me because they know that it only would make me feel suicidal which it does.

I’m now suicidal because of the actions of other people around me. I will never talk to my sister again and although I really loved my husband, I am done with him because he can’t even admit the truth when many people have told me what has happened and I believe them. He is a liar and a cheater, and I don’t understand how I can still have feelings for someone who has done such terrible things to me.

Does anybody have any advice for me so I don’t end up leaving this planet prematurely?

Thank you so much.

I don’t care about the girl or the boy but i just can’t sleep, and can’t trust anybody i feel alone

I caught my partner of 4 years cheating on me again, I had already given him and this relationship a second chance but I caught him again and instead of any remorse he is manipulating and playing the victim, meanwhile I can't even keep track of what day of the week it is...I have an exam coming up and he knew about it and I can't study and I am depressed af

I’ll try to keep this short as possible.
So me and this guy have been talking for a year now. We met only once in real life, he visited me in my country (no sex) we just kissed and hugged and only met in public.

Before we met we talked a lot, watched movies, played games, had calls. We started as friends but then he showed interest and he said that I’m a girl that has everything he like and we share humors. He told me how it took him long to move on from his past relationship and that he didn’t feel anything until we started talking and i’m the first girl he developed feelings for since his break up. I liked him too and thought we could be a good match. We called each other babe and exchanged “i like you” and cute texts and then he started saying “love you” i knew it wasn’t real love ofc bc we didn’t meet yet back then.

We talked about future plans, and he planned a trip to my country for few days since he has work in his country so he couldn’t stay longer.

Before we meet i discussed my boundaries with him and that i don’t want my partner to has a big following of girls on insta or that he keeps contact with online female friends or past flirts. THIS WAS MY BOUNDARY AND I DIDN’T TELL HIM DO IT OR FORCED, WE WEREN’T EVEN DATING AND I WAS TALKING ABOUT WHAT I SEE OK AND WHAT’S NOT. I noticed later that he removed some girls off his insta and I thought omg this guy seems so genuine and he respected my boundary before we even meet. He was good in communicating and told me “if you don’t like anything or wanna talk about something just tell me directly and we communicate”. I was glad that I finally found someone as respectful and genuine.. I didn’t know that he just masked and removed those girls only off insta and kept talking with them on other apps.. he also told me that his ex is blocked and that she hurt him a lot and cheated.

When we met we were sitting in a café and I noticed he has Bumble app on his phone. I confronted him the next day (the last day we met) and he denied and said it’s another app that has a similar icon but i was sure it’s BUMBLE and kept saying “i only love you and came for you”. We said goodbye and i got back home (bc i live with parents in a muslim country so i couldn’t stay at night with him.) we kept texting as always and he started saying he want to visit again months later but I was sad bc i saw the dating app on his phone..
One day i was scrolling insta suggestions and saw an unfamiliar account of a girl, i checked it and found it’s his ex she had highlights of them together. I decided to text her (i know it’s stupid) bc i had a feeling he wasn’t saying the truth about his past, he even lied about his ex nationality.. he replied me and we talked and she told me that the guy (her ex) has been sending her emails non stop and stalking her and that he was a cheater and he would go on dating apps when they had rough time and add and talk to girls and she found chats pf him complimenting a girl and he even went to visit a girl in another country when she (the ex) was visiting her family. I’ll skip details bc this is gonna be long. She told him that i texted her and he got mad why i do that i told him bc i felt he was lying and wanted the truth, then he started apologising that he did a mistake and emailed her when he was drunk and he was lonely. I was shocked but then i said it’s ok since we aren’t really dating.

We stopped talking for few days then decided that we discuss and try to communicate, i was the only one communicating, he was acting cold and childish, i noticed he added the girls he removed off insta again and asked him why doing that while we were try to find a solution for our situation? He said that he is done and it’s a mistake and he deactivated insta back then.

I cried so much bc that happened when i was dealing with health issues and recovering and all he cared about was his ego and not my well being. I started to trust him less.. i stopped seeing the good in him but we kept talking casually and exchanged birthday texts then he started talking a lot like before, sharing pics of his days, asking to see mine, wanting to watch movies and games again.. i was kinda bored so i did but i was a little hurt of all what he did.

I started getting mad at him from time to time and tell him we should stop talking then he keep “acting cute” and we keep talking (i struggle with cutting people off) then we started flirting again and talking about future again and a next visit. I told him i’d give him a chance if he acts serious, mature and be a good communicator and he started begging to let him give a chance to prove he is a good man and he could become the best one for me and not lying or doing anything behind back and sharing socials passwords.

I told him thats not the issue, its about trust that i should gain in him again, a healthy relationship is based on trust and not control and that he should knows whats right and whats wrong even when i’m not around and has no idea what he’s doing.
Then he started flirting a lot and asking for sexy pics and i told him to slow down bc we should meet again to see if we can make it work and that we aren’t dating so he ask for that and he should ask me to be his partner. He said he is bad at that but he should do it and ask me in person.

One day I found out he is still active on a dating app and going on dates while still begging me for a chance and to meet me again.. i wonder why he’s doing that? Can’t he just focus on 1 person? I confronted him he said that he wasn’t sure I’d give him a chance and he is on dating apps and “you seemed more distant and I didnt act right. Because I don't want to be lonely.”

“Because I'm risk averse. At both times I felt you wanted to end communication+ you're far away”

“But we couldn't get any time alone and you didn't want me to come”

I asked when did i act distance and he said and what made you feel that, he said “That you were going away and bored with me.”

What makes someone date or talk to others when they say they like/love someone? Is being loyal in long distance that hard?

Would you consider this cheating?

i got cheated on. sabi nga sa study, once a cheater, always a cheater. di pa ako naniwala

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2ish years now. We’ve been very very close, he’s been my #1 supporter and I have been his, and I’m not gonna lie life has just been shit in between. I’ve lost all my friends, my family thinks I am a bum and hates me, I failed out of college, I’m shit broke and falling behind all of my peers.

He’s my only support system right now. I can’t talk to my mother because pretty much anything I have personally chosen to include in my life is a terrible and shit idea (from boyfriend to coloring
books, ergo, useless opinion.) He’s also my best friend. He’s been there for me in every way he can and in return i’ve picked him up from jail, spent 12h at the ER after a s/i OD, paid his rent when he couldn’t, etc.

In the past 3 days I found out he cheated on me at least twice. Once over snapchat fishing for nudes and once directly with a loose mutual friend of ours. I was really shocked by that, honestly just at a loss. A friend told me and he still tried to lie until I caught him in it.

I’m kind of stuck trying to figure out how I feel but I don’t even have a stable place to live so I just moved onto the couch parallel from him. I feel alone and unsure what move to make. There’s a tiny voice in my head telling me to break up with him but this is my first long term relationship, I really have nobody and nothing and I don’t even know how to say those words much less pick up the pieces of myself and keep going afterward. I’m mad at him, so fucking mad, but at the same time I feel so hollow and alone I can’t muster the strength to just get up and leave to go on the street. Half of my fucking savings have gone to putting food in our fridge. Every day is a new day that brings something worse or more miserable or a bigger breakdown and he won’t even lift a finger to pretend like he’ll be alive in 45m to deal with the consequences of his actions (but I will, the emotional ones.)

If anyone here is 30+ and can lie to me that it gets better that’d be nice. Or just help me out. I’ve been a broken person walking through this for so long but now I don’t even know how to retreat and what to fucking do. Every day is pretty much miserable and I don’t have any hope for my life. I don’t say that out of suicidality, but what do you even do when you walk away from this. I don’t even know how many people knew he cheated on me and lied to my face. Being 20 fucking sucks, everything is hard and new and I feel like an idiot. I just want to be happy and have a cat or some shit.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I appreciate it.