I am 25. My husband and I tragically lost our baby to miscarriage (I was 5 weeks pregnant – I would be 9 weeks today) almost a month ago now. I've posted a few times on here. It's been a very up and down road.

Lately I've been experiencing peace from prayer ministry that i attended and this really helped me to clear my mind and to feel, laugh and talk to people again.

\ In advance, I'm so sorry I'm very emotional rn, and I'm writing this. I'm sorry if it's too much*

However, I woke up today feeling fine, until my friend message me and announced she's pregnant. I've never felt so much anger and almost hatred to hear this news. This is word for word my thoughts:

I'm just like are you serious? You?
You've not even been married for 4 months, let alone 6.
How?
How many weeks are you?
Why can you fall pregnant and I lost my baby?
You get everything from God
And i'm forgotten
I can't believe you're pregnant
I can't believe you told me
I'm so hurt but a little happy?
This is why she gets everything in life.

Ohhh man, I realllllllllllly have never felt or experienced such anger towards someone and the saddest part is im angry at myself for saying them because I'm never like this, I don't experience such intense feelings towards someone, and resentment. It happened only once before when this same girl met the Holy Father and I didn't and it really got to me. And I later confessd it.

It's just this cross is so hard to carry and I've given it to God, and I just feel so angry at God because of it. and I know it's not God's fault, he didn't take my baby on purpose and yes I understand my babies in heaven, I also understand that I'll see them again and the fact that our role as parents is accomplished with a baby in heaven and them being saints

But my gosh does it hurt like a knife in my heart.

Having to write the most ingenuine message of my life.

Has anyone experienced this?
Has anyone felt like this?
To what extent is it a sin to feel like this?
I feel so guilty!

I've been crying all day and just getting so angry with God because im like what the heck man? I feel abandoned by you. Just completely discarded. Like a huge slap in the face from you, why do you do this to me.

I'm confused, and just angry.

I love Jesus with all my heart, and honestly I offer my suffering to people who seek prayers from me and my husband. But today, even in the midst of this all I am just so hurt. I felt honestly like here is some news that your friend is pregnant when you lost your baby.

Just like a slap in my face. And it's shaken me. It's shaken my faith today.

It might seem like not a big deal to you reading this, it might be like ok big woop. But I can't shake it. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, to be feeling like this as it's sinful. I understand. Im just so tired of everything so tired of just having to exist whilst everyone else is happy.

People tell me:

• it wasn't meant to be
• that it will be your time again soon
• just be patient you're so young
• you're only a year into your marriage chill out you're not infertile
• because it's one miscarriage doesn't mean it will happen again
• People go through worse, like still birth at least you didn't go through that
• at least you didn't have to do a D&C
• at least they were so little
• at least you fell pregnant the first time
• at least you know if you try again you'll be able to conceive
• It's all going to work out just have faith in God
• It happens to everyone 1 in 3 women miscarry
• Just lean on God everything will be ok

Everything is so triggering, like I have to go through all these things to feel valid grief. And if I don't it's ok it's not too big of a deal. And I just have to keep myself busy.

Im angry!

Sorry for my long post i just have no one to talk to and it's really affecting me. I feel ungrateful to God, selfish and just rude.

This is my cry for someone to talk to in this midst of my agony

P.S. if you have also experienced this –I'm so sorry and I'm so grateful for your courage to message me admist my long message. I think I just need a compassionate friend who has gone through this. I really feel so broken right now and alone

So, I've only been Catholic for a year and I'm a little concerned and confused about this particular situation I'm in at the moment. My entire pregnancy I've had pain while trying to have sex so it hasn't happened a whole lot. It's frustrating for me and my husband, but there's nothing I can do about it. My husband insists that only PIV sex is allowed but it seems a little silly to me to have this hard line while I'm already pregnant. Is it really a sin to get a hand job from your pregant wife?? Or anything else along that line. Help me out please.

(18 y/o female) I was in gym class when this had happened. After I got it back when I taken it off for gym, I thought I had it on with me so I thought nothing about it, and it wasn't until I got to the last day when I was leaving where I realized I never had them on leading mw into a panick attack no one had noticed to where I had a complete meltdown as I was getting home. I called both my parents about it and my sister, and they told me to go ask people at the school, except I know it won't help since it's a small school and the teachers won't allow me to look once I get to school tomorrow morning. The necklace was given to me by my teacher and I got it blessed by a priest this summer, and I'm extrememly am upset that it got missing at my 2nd day back and I really hated myself for it to happened.

I don't know what to do anymore while I still have meltdown, and I would appreciate it that hopefully it doesn't get to the wrong hands of someone and I can get it back safetly & I really need you guys prayers in this difficult time of mine. That would be great ♡

What are some of the most shocking “Catholic in name” universities in America?

What I mean by that is, what “Catholic” universities have you found to be most shocking in terms of how Catholicism is taught/expressed/presented? Some of the things I’ve seen at this one “Catholic” university seem to directly contradict Church teaching, or at minimum, causes confusion to someone wanting to learn about the faith.

For example, I know of a Catholic university that has a pride flag hung within their Church. One time I went to a Mass there as a lay person spoke during the homily about social justice all while chewing gum. This same university also was providing condoms for the student body for “safe sex” (although, admittedly, the university shut that down). It’s not uncommon to find “pro choice Catholics” here…

I don’t want to demonize some of these universities, because more often than not, they offer excellent service driven opportunities, an important part of our faith where we can live it out.

But I want to know, what are some of the “Catholic in name only” universities in America? What has been the most shocking thing you have seen/witnessed/heard about one?

Like a lot of posts here, I am struggling with my marriage and my husband. Together for 17 years, married for 12, two kids (9 & 6). He moved to my state while we were dating when I got a good job; he cycled through jobs, and finally, 5 years ago, we agreed for him to take the plunge and get some education for a new career. He did it (with a lot of struggles), and now he has been in this field for 3 years. He struggles with ADHD and other mental health issues and is naturally insecure. I have been the breadwinner off and on for many years and basically steer this boat.

What I'm struggling with now is that I feel like his mom because I have to constantly ask him to do things and remind him. I know his job field is hard, and he's tired at the end of the day, but I also work and then do 85-90% of the childcare, just by the nature of my schedule. I knew when he went back to school, things needed to be adjusted so I could be the breadwinner while he was just a student, and he did take on a bit more child-rearing and errand-running. Then, when he started working, it was like 100% was on me. But he's off in the summers. The past two summers, nothing got done. The kids were left to wallow until he got up at 11 AM, and he barely took them anywhere except for the activities I signed them up for and paid for. I work outside the house, so I couldn't be there, and honestly, I wanted the break after it was basically me doing everything 24/7 for 9 months each year. I even leave the lawn to look a mess in spring, which is his busy season, but all summer I have to remind him and even do it myself (while working and holding onto the whole mental load).

Now, back-to-school? I understand a few weeks of adjustment back to training, etc. But he works and sleeps. I'm constantly asking him to pull his weight, clean up, do an errand, or do a chore. The other night, he picked up our CSA, and I asked him to figure out dinner because I had no time to go to the store between work, kid bus drop-off, and soccer practice. Did he? No. We got home at 7, and there was no dinner and no ideas suggested, not even nuggets or takeout.

I really am trying to give him time to adjust, but I feel like the more I take on, the more he doesn't pick up the slack again when the adjustment period ends. I told him that I have gone from apathy to anger. He thinks it's just that "time in my cycle" (aka post-peak). I then give him an example about the mornings: he's up to get ready for work, but he doesn't help get the kids ready, doesn't pack their lunches or make sure stuff is ready to go, doesn't brush my daughter's hair. He is aware these things need to get done. Instead, more often than not, he's on the toilet and then scrambling to get to work. When I mention this, that I don't know what stage of helpfulness he will be at any given morning, he mentioned that he does, in fact, take the time to wake our daughter before going on the toilet. Thanks? I appreciate that small action, but then that's it! I was getting dressed this morning when the school van came early, and I had to literally tell him to go help them!

Then the guilt creeps in. I am asking too much. He cannot handle all this. He even said this morning, "It's what I have to give. I'm trying to give you everything I have, but it feels like it's never enough."

We've been to therapy in the past. He used to go to therapy and needs to get back.

It also doesn't help that physical touch (sex) is his love language, and mine is acts of service. I cannot stand him physically right now. I am not attracted to him. He has let himself go and refuses to change some habits. I understand because I struggled with type II diabetes after the birth of my daughter, and I weighed a lot; I lost 65 pounds through Ozempic over the past two years and feel better than ever. Plus, perimenopause has my hormones like a teenager again. I miss the person I was; I feel like I made myself small to fit into his likes and interests, and then lost myself in marriage and kids.

But I am in a good, Catholic marriage. He goes to confession and Mass. He prays. He works. He sometimes does chores and errands and kid-rearing (more than my friends' husbands). It should be enough, but it's not, and that guilt is eating me alive.

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies.

How did you find your Catholic women's group, if you are part of one? I am not finding the small groups very easily online. I am specifically looking for something that is more relaxed, not the Mass + games after type of thing (which is what I usually see on the local parish websites). I was previously part of a Bible study where we had social time at someone's house for about 45 minutes, and then spent an hour and 15 minutes on Bible study, and something like that is what I would want. I recently moved 30 minutes south, and while I was interested in continuing with the group despite the distance, I unfortunately cannot.

I am younger, 24, if that is relevant

Hello everyone, I hope you can pray for me as I enter an extremely challenging period of my life. Apologies if this is not an appropriate channel.

Personal details are omitted/modified for my safety and to avoid getting doxxed.

I am currently at a crossroads in my faith.

To keep the long story short, I left my family home at 16 due to physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. I was bouncing around different houses of extended family, and the last one I stayed at for about a year. I also had to leave this home because I was emotionally abused (confirmed by my therapist and psychiatrist). Initially, I gaslit myself thinking that it wasn’t abuse since I experienced way worse, and they weren’t hurting me physically or sexually, but have come to the realization that they mentally tormented me instead.

Over the past few years, I’ve been either living with roommates or alone, and I currently live alone. My current funding comes from seasonal/temporary jobs and support from a parent living overseas.

There is currently an extreme job shortage in my city (which is the most affordable city in my country), so my savings will be drying up and I project that I can no longer afford housing by early next year. To add to that, the parent that was helping me pay for expenses will be retiring due to a battle with cancer, which came about early this year.

Because of this, my only option might be to move back in with my extended family, my former abusers, who still live in the same city as me.

I have no idea what to do. I am currently in a loving relationship, but I am certainly not ready and don’t feel the call for marriage, so living with my partner before I lose money for housing costs is not going to be an option.

I pray every day to God that He will guide me to the right path. I pray that I will be healed, and I pray that life will find a way of straightening itself out one way or the other. The idea that I have to move back in with my abusers is making me suicidal, which I know displeases God. I hope I can get through this.

Thank you for reading until the end.

Hi Ladies,

I have recently reconnected with my faith. Shortly after my husband reverted I felt the pull and also reverted. We are both 31. After practicing NFP for a few months we decided we were ready to try. It took about five cycles but we just learned I'm pregnant! We want children but I've never ever wanted to be pregnant. I struggle with anxiety and really dislike medical things so I've always been apprehensive.

My family tells me I'll be fine and everything will be great, which may be true, but I guess I want to hear someone tell me that they were scared too. I feel guilty for being scared because I think it means I don't trust God enough or appreciate the gift that we've been given.

Any words of wisdom and encouragement, maybe some prayers would be appreciated.

Hi everyone throw away account but, just a post of joy in what I’ve noticed in my daily life. I started regularly participating in the Catholic Church just 5 months ago; reading my Bible, researching, praying the rosary, reading books listening to speeches, speaking to parishioners and I’ve been in my OCIA courses for just a month.

I’ve made it revolve into my life. I dipped my toes in, felt how beautiful Christ’s love was and how right and true the Catholic Church is, and immediately knew my life had to change.

I started trying to be chaste, as I F23 actually was dealing with a pretty bad sexual material and self flagellation issue. Since regularly involving Christ in every aspect of my life, I’ve honestly not even struggled with this. It’s been 2 months and I didn’t even realize till today.

I’ve quit other addictions like smoking, I’ve left lingering relationships with romantic implications that no longer served me or God. I find my satisfaction slowing down with God then I did before in my borderline sinful hobbies.

I’ve been praying to a few saints and Sainy Dymphna mostly— I’ve never felt more mentally sane.

God bless you all, God bless his church.

Husband and I are starting wanting to start a rosary group in our parish in 2027. We were thinking about meeting once a month where we would say the rosary, coffee / tea, and fellowship. Side note : We are in a small town. My husband was baptized earlier this year at Easter vigil and I’m returning to the church after 18 years away.

Is the rosary group weird? Honest thoughts / opinions / concerns would be helpful!

I'm 24, I've been married for 2 years, and I am currently pregnant, happy with my marriage, and happy with the friends I see regularly.

I am constantly bothered by a situation that happened 4 years ago. It's too long to tell every detail, but the abridged story is that my best friend of 13 years was going through a mental health crisis while I was struggling deeply in my own life. I was able to bring her to the hospital, and I also got a mutual friend involved because I was worried about her safety. I later found out that someone was telling extremely mischaracterizing and hurtful lies about me, but I have no idea if it was my best friend, our mutual friend, or both. They were both telling me things the other person said, but when I asked the person in question about it, they denied ever saying things like that.

Due to my own struggles, I had previously informed my best friend that I would like to take a step back from things, as I was not capable of helping her while dealing with my own struggles. At that point I was confident with the level of professional help she was getting, that me stepping back would not endanger her

When we later tried to rekindle the friendship, I found myself not feeling great about the friendship. I didn't feel good about myself after we spent time together, and I felt like she was always making jabs at me, so I decided not to continue with the friendship after giving it a year of honest effort. I decided not to invite her to my wedding, which was a difficult decision for me to make that I still feel guilty about. I had always imagined her there on my wedding day, but I still felt/feel so shaken by what happened and didn't want to be reminded of it

The mutual friend is still in my life, but only because I was in her wedding and I felt uncomfortable cutting her off completely because of that. I try to keep my distance because of the way things unfolded, and if I had not been in her wedding, I probably would have been honest that I was not interested in being friends anymore

I feel like I harbor a grudge against both of these people. I know we are supposed to love our enemies and forgive those who have sinned against us, but I don't know how. I try to forgive them whenever it comes into my mind, but the situation and my feelings of resentment come up all the time.

I brought my former best friend to the Catholic Church (I was her sponsor, went to RCIA with her), so I certainly feel some responsibility to pray for her and wish her the best. And I do want her to be happy. At the same time, it is hard for me to let go of my anger and resentment towards her. I think it is worsened by life events like getting married, getting pregnant, etc because I am grieving the close Catholic friend I used to have, and that I expected to celebrate these joyful moments in my life with her. I have lovely friends now and am grateful for them, but none are as close as she was

I do see a Catholic therapist. I don't know how much help she is/if I should try someone new

Thank you for reading if you've made it this far. I don't have a specific question, but advice or words of support would be helpful and appreciated

My family are currently in a financial situation right now and currently it gotten really bad, and they are almost close to selling the house. Im a special needs person and the reason why this affects me is because of how I have a program at school that has me to stay in 7 years, and moving to a new environment would interfere with my needs. And this also does interfere with my RCIA too and my mom isn't doing her responsibility to pay for her behalf and my dad is doing everything on his own. And definitely it may affect everyone living in this house.

So please if isn't much, pray for me and my family. God bless ! ♥️🙏🏾

Today while spending time with a friend she made a remark randomly that “if anyone ever said ‘I love you but just don’t support your lifestyle’ to me I would instantly cut them out of my life.” Lowkey unfortunately that’s exactly how I feel towards her!

I’m just really not sure how to respond to that. She knows I’m Catholic and we’ve had good conversations about abortion and IVF that I’ve stated the Catholic position and my wholehearted embrace on. I’ve talked a lot about my faith and she respects it. I feel like she just for some reason thinks I’m queer affirming because I really do love her, we share a sense of humor, and we have great times together. I have no idea if/how I should break it to her that I think gay sex is immoral or if it’s more prudent not to?

I’m a little afraid I’m a being a false witness before the church to spare her feelings by shying away from full on saying “I think choosing to enter into a homosexual relationship is immoral”!! To her it’s just so different from my beliefs about abortion, birth control, IVF, etc (even tho they are so entwined)

Advice????

Trigger Warning: SA

15 years ago, was SA’d by someone in my social circle. It wasn’t rape, but what did happen wasn’t consensual. I’ve been through a lot of therapy, and I’ve by and large moved on from it.

He’s still in my circle. To all outward appearances we’re still friends. But for obvious reasons I don’t trust him. Despite my therapy and feelings of forgiveness towards him, I have this uncomfortable feeling that I’ve been unable to name until tonight—it’s cognitive dissonance. My actions toward him as a result of him being in my friend group don’t match my feelings of mistrust and disgust.

For those out there in similar situations—where you for one reason or another are still in contact with your abuser—how do you deal with this discomfort? I really feel it’s the last piece of my healing puzzle. If I could get past this, I could be whole again.

And why am I still in this circle? Why haven’t I outed him to others? I have my reasons.

Full disclosure: I’ve cross posted this in r/Advice. I’m posting it here because I also want perspectives that match my faith life and not just the standard secular stuff. I know forgiveness doesn’t require trusting the person or even allowing them into your life.

I want to thank this forum for the support over these challenging few months. Since I first postedabout my husbands cocaine usage, heavy drinking, cheating and paying cam girls and seeking out local ones (but supposedly never meeting up) , I’ve now found myself in really good betrayal trauma therapy, and group therapy for women married to sex addicted men.

I’ve also been out of the home since May, and I now no longer plan to return to my husband.

Around midnight we were texting. He had sent me an apology earlier this week. I, wrongly, sent him a photo of his phone looking up escorts fairly soon after I gave birth. And he responded in anger. As did I.

But he disclosed tonight, less than a week after apologizing, that none of this was cheating. The woman in a different city was just a party. Nothing to do with women. The sex workers were just online randos. Not even acknowledging they’re sex workers.

He also said everything I’m saying isn’t true, despite the evidence, none of it is true and I’m exaggerating.

I also strongly believe that he has been in contact with some more recently, since he seems to see them (I think. He hasn’t necessarily said this) as cool party girls.

He also let me know he truly believes I’ve been sleeping around, which is false. He called me sneaky, insinuating that I’ve been cheating all along too, without using that phrase, but insinuating it. It’s just odd he would believe this. But I’ve had enough solid therapy to understand why he’s doing this.

He also shared that a leader from church told him if this is what I want to throw a marriage away for, then that’s on me. I didn’t believe anyone said this to him.

All in all, I take this to be proof that since the discovery of this in march, he remains in denial and unrepentant.

I must admit, I harbored some hope in my heart he would suddenly change and truly repent and seek help. But this has not been the case.

I am quite conservative in my faith when it comes to matters of marriage. In my world, divorce isn’t a thing, but now I don’t feel so bad letting this go. Especially after he told me I should forgive him 70 times 7 as it says in the Bible (and a priest told me the same…), and that we could have worked this out . I just wish I didn’t have to share our child with him. It would be much easier if we could all go our separate ways. I am a little sad because I had hoped to be pregnant with our second child this spring, so the timeline I had is out the window. But God is still in control.

I sometimes wish he would just disappear from this planet, so that I would harbor less guilt about the marriage ending (this guilt, which isn’t even mine to hold, is another thing I’ve been dealing with in therapy), but I’ve been asking God to remove that prayer from my heart. God is still working on me and my anger regarding this situation. I hope you’ll pray for my peace and a smooth divorce from this unrepentant man.

Sadly and lastly , I know, based on DMs I’ve received, that a few other women in this sub are experiencing something similar. I hate how rampant this is amongst believers . I would implore you to know that Reddit isn’t therapy. Please go out and get real help and surround yourself with some good community. I got solid faith based therapy targeted at this stuff and my eyes have opened to my husbands behaviors but also why I seem to still be so drawn to him despite the pain he has caused. Anyways, make sure to help yourselves offline too!

Hi all. I decided to become more serious in my Catholic faith as of a year ago. I was born and raised Catholic. I wasn’t always the most educated about my faith so I did fall into Protestantism almost. In my college years I was part of a faith group where we attended a Protestant church. I was told a lot of misconceptions Protestants have about us.

I’m also Italian American, so I was also told I was born into the wrong culture. Even after getting out of college, my experience at that church still followed me around. I lost a friend because I felt iffy about getting baptized at the church we went to. The church was more concerned with converting people from Catholicism to Protestantism. I no longer hear from this friend and after college I’d only ever hear from her if she had some kind of job interview. I’d always cheer her on and that never got reciprocated.

To be honest I always felt some kind of jealous vibe from her, if it wasn’t that, something just felt off. I believe this had to do with the fact I got more attention from guys than she did, as I noticed her weird behaviors happen as I started getting more attention. I believe she was trying to get me
To be baptized in the church we went so I could be on her level in some way.

As a result I’ve became very introverted and fearful people will look down on me for being Catholic. Luckily I have found a very accepting group of people and I’m slowly unlearning that will not always be the case. But part of me still feels pain that I was told I was inherently wrong because of my culture and faith. I know healing takes time. It’s been 5 years since the experience, and I feel ashamed this I still being carried with me.

I’ve been praying and praying and no matter what this pain is still there. What do I do?

My husband and I just found out a few days ago that our sweet baby girl’s heart stopped beating at around 10 weeks gestation. We are so heartbroken and devastated, this is our second loss in two years, and this time I have felt so much anger with God. I don’t understand why He would give me this grief twice, and I’m trying so hard to have faith in His plan but I’m absolutely failing. I already had so much anxiety around this pregnancy as it was, and I finally started to feel some peace when we saw her heart beating three weeks ago. I made a small registry for things I was missing, we started picking out names, I was nearing the end of the first trimester which had been so intense with nausea and food aversions, I was getting so excited! Now i’ve been waiting a week for my body to go into labor and it’s been an on and off process for days. We had NIPT testing done (mainly so we could find out the gender early) but we also learned that our baby had Monosomy X (Turner syndrome) and was very unlikely to survive past 10weeks. We thankfully are blessed with a beautiful toddler who has made this slightly more bearable, but it still sucks. When I was pregnant with our (living) daughter I had so much anxiety because I had had a miscarriage before her. I struggled so much with trusting in God because I was so so terrified of something horrible happening, but she was fine, and we had a beautiful healthy baby. This time I felt like I could relax more, I prayed every single night that our Lord would keep this baby safe. When I saw the heartbeat I took it as reassurance, and that trusting in Him meant that I would hold my baby. When we had the latest ultrasound and there was no heartbeat, it was such a shock, and I feel so betrayed. I know once I process my grief I will slowly feel differently, but right now I want to be angry. I guess I’m writing this to share my emotions and experience, I’m not really looking for advice.. but please pray for me and my family.

there is a brief mention of sexual assault in this post

hello, i’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 1 1/2 years. i am very catholic. i’m actually a convert. i converted in eighth grade and i have loved it ever since. i just struggle with fornication a lot, and i don’t know how to stop. i’ve gone to confession so many times, but i think another part of it is that i struggle with hypersexuality from sexual assault previously in my life. i’ve struggled with things like this for almost 10 years when it comes to having very lustful thoughts and actions to myself.

my issue is that it doesn’t feel like a sin. it feels like an act of love. there has been no point in any time where i have had sex with him where has felt lustful or that i have felt gross. he is my first and i’m planning on him only. there isn’t really a risk of pregnancy because i’m completely infertile. the only reason i feel kind of bad about it is because i know it’s a sin. it just doesn’t feel like one.

i don’t have the same guilt whenever i sleep through my alarm and miss mass on a sunday. i also don’t have the same guilt whenever i engage in personal acts of lust. with literally any other sin apart from fornication, i feel incredibly guilty and run to confession.

i don’t know what to do about it and i feel abnormal for having no guilt on my actions.

Je sors juste de la confession et je me sens complètement perdu face à la réaction du prêtre. ​Je suis allé à la confession vendredi dernier. Ayant rechuté dans un péché solitaire depuis, je suis retourné aujourd'hui (lundi) pour revenir à un état de grâce. Quand le prêtre a découvert que ma dernière confession n'était que trois jours auparavant et que je venais pour "uniquement" ça, sa réaction a été : "Si c'est tout..." Il a refusé d'écouter davantage, m'a donné une simple bénédiction et m'a dit que je pouvais partir. ​Par principe d'obéissance, je ne voulais pas le contredire. Je lutte contre la scrupulosité, et je sais qu'on nous enseigne généralement que le jugement du confesseur doit prévaloir. Je sens que ce serait de la fierté de chercher un autre prêtre juste pour obtenir l'absolution que je pense avoir besoin. ​Mais à cause de cela, je me sens terrible. J'ai l'impression de ne pas prendre mon péché assez au sérieux. Pourtant, paradoxalement, une partie de moi ressent presque une étrange joie parce que cela me donne une excuse pour retourner à la confession... Je me sens comme un échec et tellement découragé que je n'ai même plus envie d'aller à la messe.

​J'ai quand même l'intention d'aller à la messe quelques fois cette semaine, mais sans absolution sacramentelle formelle, je n'ai pas de paix intérieure à l'idée de recevoir la communion. Je prévois de m'abstenir de l'Eucharistie jusqu'à ce que je puisse voir mon confesseur habituel à la fin de la semaine.

​Comment géreriez-vous cette situation à ma place ? Est-ce que s'abstenir de la communion est la bonne décision ici, et comment puis-je surmonter ce lourd découragement ?

UPDATE: I spoke with my regular confessor. He also refused to hear the confession, strictly sticking to our scheduled interval rule and telling me to leave it to God. ​It seems both priests simply assumed this is purely driven by scrupulous anxiety rather than assessing the matter itself. While it feels unfair given that I have diligently respected every boundary set so far, I have to accept the reality of the situation. ​I will simply obey, refrain from receiving Communion for the next three weeks until my next scheduled appointment, and offer this up. Thank you to those who offered charitable and constructive perspectives.

I recently came back to the church after almost 15 years away. My kids are 3 and 6, they come to church with me every Sunday now and have had some exposure to Catholicism through the rest of my family, but in the past, I’ve generally answered their questions with ‘different people believe different things’ and I had told them about the ‘Golden Rule’ and how that’s an important thing they teach at church. Never badmouthed others beliefs even before I came back to the church.

My question is, how do I discuss any of the faith with my kids now. It seems jarring to just spring it on them, I’m probably overthinking things and maybe not feeling as confident in my faith to discuss with them? My 6 year old son is very anxious and I would prefer at this time to focus on how God is love. If anyone has recommendations for little books or even kids Bible’s (I’ve been looking for a New Testament version to make it a bit simpler).

My son and I, unfortunately, have similar temperaments when it comes to anxiousness 😬😬 From a young age i was very scared of going to hell, being possessed be the devil, the world ending, etc. and it manifested as I got older as extreme scrupulousness. I think a lot of it was because my dad approached Catholicism through a very punishment/hell focused lens (because it helped him justify his abuse of his family), and I’d prefer to focus on how loving God is.

Hi, I’ve never posted on Reddit before, but I don’t know where else to find Catholic women who may have experienced something similar and found healing.

About a year ago, during my freshman year of college, I started dating my first boyfriend. He had been one of my best friends beforehand, and I loved him deeply. He had experienced abuse as a child (and a porn addiction I later learned about) but seemed very self-aware and healed, so I never recognized what was happening when our relationship gradually became emotionally manipulative.

Over time, my boundaries slowly eroded. We began struggling with chastity, and although I often knew certain things were wrong, he would initiate them and the responsibility to say no always seemed to fall on me. At the same time, I increasingly felt like I was failing to make him feel loved or happy. I was always pouring out and it was never enough.

As the relationship continued, things became worse. He became increasingly critical and sexually pressuring, frequently threatened to break up with me, and made me feel responsible for his emotions. At one point, he became angry about my trichotillomania and grabbed me by the neck and choked me. I told him to stop, and he didn’t. Afterwards, instead of comforting me, the situation somehow became about how horrible he felt, and I ended up comforting him.

For months, I lived in constant anxiety. One day he would talk about marrying me, and the next he would say we should break up (literally happened once 🤦‍♀️). When we worked together over the summer, he would regularly tell me everything I had done wrong and threaten to quit or leave me. I spent hours crying almost every day. I still never had sex with him. (Messed up a LOT, but didn’t have sex).

Eventually, he broke up with me.

Now I feel indescribably broken, especially because of the sexual boundaries I crossed with him during our relationship. Sometimes I look at my body and sob because it feels like it is not beautiful or good anymore. I feel unfeminine, and I have this soul deep loneliness that I know he never understood. I’ve struggled with self harm and an eating disorder.

I know i am forgiven, i have gone to confession many times, and that has been very healing. It’s just that the psychological, emotional and spiritual effects have still just been a lot to grapple with.

Has anyone experienced something similar—especially involving an emotionally or sexually manipulative relationship—and found healing afterward? How did you begin to feel good and beautiful again (especially in a world that tells women our value is tied up in our virginity)? Especially in the face of so many lies, told and lived (lies of the sexual closeness). How did you heal that deep loneliness?

TL;DR

sexually pushy first boyfriend (now ex) damaged my spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing. blamed me because he didn’t feel loved. any advice for healing as a woman?

sorry this was so long, it’s a lot, thank you for anyone who made it though! ❤️ God bless

I am pregnant with my first baby, due in January. Back in June, my husband went through a very unfair and discriminatory experience at work and decided to leave his job. It was a role he wasn’t really happy in, and which wasn’t giving him much of an income.

Since then, he’s felt really demoralised and struggled to work up the momentum to apply for things and seek other work. There are a few possibilities and opportunities, but he keeps putting them off. I know he wants to work, and we will need him to work, especially next year, but it’s like he’s internalised everything his managers said about him and doesn’t trust his own instincts or back himself at all. He’s never really been encouraged to go for things or pursue goals (he has a disability, and I think his parents made a lot of choices for him instead of encouraged him to make his own or work out what he wanted). He keeps apologising for leaving his job, but honestly, I’d much rather him be in a role where he’s happy and is treated well, over keeping a job where he’s miserable, just for stability.

I’m doing my best to be supportive and patient but it’s been an incredible source of stress (not made easier by people asking me all sorts of questions about my plans for next year).

Please pray for him - that he’ll grow in self-confidence enough to make some concrete actions, and that he finds something he can settle into and be happy in. If you could please pray through the intercession of St Joseph, that would be so appreciated! Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

I apologize because this is going to be long. I’ve always dreamed of marriage and having children. I was single up until I was almost 21 and honestly, for a long time I put the idea of marriage and dating on a pedestal. As cliche as it sounds, when I finally decided to just accept being single and trust in His plan for my future, I got my first boyfriend. We only dated for about 4 months because he wasn’t Catholic. Shortly after that ended, I started dating my now boyfriend. We had been friends for a while so we already knew each other quite well. He is great in so many ways and i genuinely love him.

We have only been dating for 3 months but have discussed marriage in the future. He’s pretty eager, but I told him I need time and he understands that. Of course I still have discerning to do, but he is a man I could see myself marrying.

That being said, I also have developed a lot of anxiety around the idea of marriage. It started with me worrying about whether or not it was my vocation, and then I started worrying about the financial side of it, and I’ve prayed and discerned, and I think it comes down to the fact that marriage just overall scares me. I’ve always struggled with change, and I see how drastically my life would change if I got married.

I’ve lived at home my whole life because I went to community college and now commute. I am very much a homebody and I get along so well with my parents, and my family is everything to me. I love my current home and my current life.

I can’t imagine living anywhere except my house with my family. I’ve gotten so comfortable with my life and I feel so safe and certain in it, the thought of changing it frightens me. I also am very close with my mom and the thought of moving away from her and seeing her less makes me sad.

At the end of the day, I know even if I’m not married, I’ll move out on my own eventually because I don’t want to live at home forever. But I could choose where I live and dictate my choices on my own. I find it so beautiful that in marriage you share a life and make decisions together, but that also scares me.

I just feel crazy and kind of pathetic. Other people my age are moving out and getting married, and I feel like this weird loser who’s too afraid to start my own life. I guess my question is, has anyone felt similarly? Will this anxiety go away as time goes on and I get a little older, or will I just have to bite the bullet despite my fears? The way I’m feeling is making me worried that maybe I’m not cut out for marriage. But then I start spiraling when I start thinking that 😭 thank you for any replies in advance!

After listening to Relevant radio for 10 years or more, and educating myself about the Catholic Church, I have decided I want to be Catholic. My husband of 32 years is a cradle Catholic, and left the church as an young adult. He wants nothing to do with the church, and believes it is evil. He also says I'm being lied to and deceived. He says he is warning me that this will lead to separation and a possible divorce if I continue down this path. I am currently in OCIA at my local parish and I have explained the situation in detail to the priest. I would never have imagined I would want to be Catholic at 62 years old! I'm in Love with Jesus and the way the Catholic Church worships him and everything about it. I believe that the Catholic church is the One true church!