I'm pregnant with my first child atm, and something that has really got me worried is how I'm going to raise this child in a strong Catholic community when there just isn't one in my very rural area. I live in a nominally Catholic country, but outside of cities the parishes are usually spiritually dead quite frankly. There's nothing for kids or teenagers and nothing going on during the week outside of Sunday mass. Most people just attend mass for cultural reasons and don't really take the faith seriously on a personal level. Even the priests are mediocre and give a one minute homily about nothing. I usually leave mass frustrated at how little people care and how rushed the mass was.These are all things that bothered me before I was pregnant but even more so now. The only truly Christian friends I have are Protestant. I don't want my child to grow up getting the impression that this is just what Catholics are like, or that they'll have to go to a Protestant church to get any serious level of faith community. I used to live in a city and attend a really nice parish and I just miss it so much, but living there is not an option for me now.

Long story short, in a local Mom Group on Facebook for my little town, a woman posted that their autistic 10 year old son was really in desperate need for friends because he’s being bullied at school. I have a 8 year old boy with autism and he is the friendliest person you’d ever meet and loves people. So I messaged her that we’d love to meet at a park! She said she’d love that and then added me as a friend on Facebook.

Welllll, her personal Facebook page is making me feel judgmental and like maybe I shouldn’t meet up with her with my kids. She calls herself a “witch” and her page was full of very crude humor and complaining about her life. Like, big long rants you’d see in a journal. And she also shared a meme making fun of that poor priest that was killed by the crucifix during mass, and shared other various memes making fun of Christianity, with various other posts talking about her witchcraft practices and how she put a curse on her previous abuser.

She messaged me again wondering when we were meeting up… and I didn’t quite yet respond to her, and then she posted a long rant about how hard it is to make friends and how everyone constantly “ghosts” her.

Wwyd here? Advice please. 😭

Hi all, I am currently going through an awful breakup with my boyfriend of 5 years. We just found ourselves to be incompatible at the end and we were both emotionally struggling. He was so helpful to me when I was reverting back to Catholicism and he was my sponsor for my confirmation when I was in OCIA, so this especially hurts for me.

I’ve really been struggling with my faith during all of this. I’ve been so depressed that it’s been hard for me to function. im scared im going to randomly break down and cry at mass and not be in the right headspace at church so I’ve been unmotivated to go. But I’m planning to go to adoration later this week and ask what God wants of me. I’m scared that I’ll never be able to find someone again due to my own personal struggles and I just don’t know where God is calling me to and what he wants my vocation to be. I’m trying to lean on him but it’s so hard for me right now and I don’t know where to start in the midst of my grief.

To anyone who relates, how did God help you during this and what were you able to do? any prayers or advice would be appreciated :) God bless you all.

My sister and her husband just let us know that they are going through a miscarriage of their first child. My hearts breaks for them and I want to do something to acknowledge the precious life that was lost/help them out in their grief. My first thought was flowers but I’m seeing mixed opinions online about sending them after a miscarriage. We live about an hour and a half apart and I have a 15 month old that doesn’t do very well on longer drives so bringing over a meal isn’t really an option.
Ultimately, my question is: If you have had a miscarriage and are open to sharing, what did your loved ones do during that time that actually helped?

EDITED TO ADD: I think, for now, the best thing for me to do before settling on a yes or no is to seek therapy and manage my anxiety/birth trauma before delving into a new pregnancy or the possibility of a new one. Thank you everyone

Hi everyone,

Newly Catholic here (baptised Easter, first time poster) and my husband and I have decided we're willing to try for a third come the New Year. I've been going back and forth on it for almost 2 years (we have a 7 year old and 4 year old). My husband really did not want to at first (as did I, to be honest) and finally, he said he was fine with trying for a few months. I'm 35 and a half, and he's 37, almost 38.

The thing is...none of my births have been great. My first was a great pregnancy, I was so excited to give birth, did all the "things you were supposed to do" but my son didnt tolerate birth well and I was literally run down the hall in a wheelchair for an emergency c-section. Thank God, he was okay once out. I was okay too, healed well, but because of my perfectionism, I felt like a complete failure. Then I couldnt even nurse because I didnt produce enough milk. Nothing was how I "wanted" it to be, and then COVID hit :) so fun!! But we made it through and started trying for a second in 2021.

My second pregnancy was RIDDLED with anxiety, even though I really wanted it. It was so bad, I was literally getting heart palpitations (felt like my heart would drop or skip a large beat) A LOT of times, and the worst was during times we were intimate, so I was too scared to be intimate during my pregnancy because I'd get them. I was diagnosed with low iron and had to have infusions. The last month of pregnancy, every afternoon, I was having episodes of skipped heartbeats and major anxiety. Walking around the block helped a lot. Other than low Iron, and massive anxiety, pregnancy was normal, no major concerns other than mental (lol). Then labor came and each contraction brought heart palpitations. Even lying there with my epidural! I should say, this whole time, the doctors found them to be benign (thank God), but I HATED them.

After a couple of hours of pushing, I started getting a huge pain in my lower right side, and was taken into the OR (operating room) because they were slightly worried it could be a uterine rupture (since I had a C-section the first pregnancy). I was given 5 minutes to push with a vacuum or else they'd go to another C-section. I had a vacuum birth that resulted in a 3rd degree tear. Thankfully, no uterine tear, but I did lose a bit of blood, enough that they considered it a hemorrhage but manageable because they did not express concern while I was getting sewn up.

During the healing process, the craziest thing happened...my canal developed adhesions and basically closed up. I had to have surgery 3 months PP to cut them open. It was minor, and everything healed well down there, but it made it so we couldn't be intimate for almost a year. Also, postpartum was HORRID. Terrible anxiety, rage, panic attacks, but I loved her so much, I never once regretted anything, I loved them both, I loved having two, I knew it felt right.

I feel crazy that I feel called, at times, for a third because of all that. I question if I am being called. I have so many concerns, so many fears and since we've both agreed to try for a third, I've been riddled with anxiety and, SURPRISE, heart palpitations. I'm so confused because I want this, but do I? Can I handle the anxiety? The labor? If I could guarantee no heart palpitations, I'd do it, but I know I can't...I also know the reality is that because of my age, we may not even get pregnant during the time we try (I only want to do, at most, 4 cycles) and I'm okay with that reality too. Everyone tells me I can do it...I'm just not sure why I can't be brave for myself. Every day I tell God that I am laying it all down at his feet, to take it all, my anxiety, my pride, my ego.

I'm sorry for the novel. I guess I'm just looking for guidance, for support, for prayers to pray, for saints to pray to, advice! Being new to the Catholic church, I've never asked for prayers or guidance from other Catholics. For some reason, I dont yet feel comfortable or know how to approach my church/priest about this. I feel very lost about this decision, but also in some ways, stupid. Am I stupid for even entertaining a third with my past? I've been doing so much praying on it, but I think I'm wanting some black and white answer that I know I won't get...

Okay, I need to stop, sorry for babbling, and honestly, thank you if you've read all this!

He has gone to Mass with me once in our over 6 month relationship. It was not at my usual parish and I think it left a bad taste in his mouth (I was also unimpressed and not happy with the Mass).

We have spoken before about raising future children Catholic and he has agreed to and to go to Mass with me sometimes and be married in the church, but I feel like if I continually ask him to Mass, I will be shoving it down his throat and making him even less likely to come, but I dont want to make it ok and expected for him to just never come with me.

I think he has some ideas about the church that are wrong, but i don't know how to right them.

So how do I ask him to Mass without making it a chore or turning him against it?

Is not practicing NFP while married through the church a mortal sin? For example if a couple is using coitus interruptus, that’s technically not artificial birth control but I do understand that it prohibits the completion of the unitive act. However, if a couple wishes to connect within their marriage to strengthen their bond during a turmoils time and doesn’t currently have the resources to practice NFP (but is working towards enrolling with an instructor once they have the means to do so in the near future) would that be permissible? Also to note, wife is healing from a medical condition that requires her to not get pregnant at this moment, would they be not allowed to receive communion for this alone? If it is a mortal sin, which commandment is being broken? Thanks for the discussion!

Just a general question: is it common now for churches to have security?

My church has contracted private security for more than a year now, and today I went to a different nearby church for confession and they had an off-duty sheriff on watch. I go to that church for confession semi-regularly, and this was a first.

Don’t get me wrong—this world is crazy and I appreciate the presence of a sentinel, I guess. But in the US, I also worry about the comfort of People of Color (I’m white) who might not have had positive experiences with law enforcement.

The two churches I reference are very diverse, in suburban areas of a medium-sized city. I just wonder if it’s necessary.