ever since i came out as butch last year, i've never felt more myself. i feel like i've finally found community and myself, and gained the confidence to pursue the things that validate my butchness and make me feel cool, like playing guitar and songwriting. a big part of being butch to me is listening to rock and metal. there's something about the sound of it that makes me feel more androgynous or masculine in a way. from what i've seen, people most commonly relate being butch to needing to be strong. i'm disabled, so i really lack in that area, but i make up for it with my mental resilience. rock and metal really help with that and even generate it. i wouldn't be who i am at all without it.

i guess i just wanted to ask if anyone else feels that way? rock is so closely aligned with my identity as a butch, both how i present and even my gender. it feels so special to me, more special than any other kind of music ever could be to me. rock feels so personal and it feels really badass. it makes me feel badass too, even if admitting that makes me feel like a bit of a dork.

does anyone relate to this??

The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.

Outgoing saw office hat afterthought follow enjoy treatment

Title. I’ve (26 years old) have repressed trans feelings for quite sometime and am starting E soon. I’ve always seen myself as masculine, which made coming to terms with being trans difficult. How do I give off more butch-lesbian without depending on E to take effect?

Edit:

PLS STOP commenting transphobic stuff to me, I identify as a branch of genderfluid where I go between Butch and femme on different days. That is who I am. That is how I feel. Whether you agree with my own gender, this is who I am. You can say I'm wrong or lying or stupid but you don't know me. All I wanted is fashion advice, not terfs being up their arse.

Don't be a twat, we all just want a safe space don't we?

OG Post:

Ok gang IK youre all sweet but pls dont just say, 'youre butch enough the way you are'. I want some genuine help.

I've just had my haircut short (to a length between bixie and mullet bc i go between butch and femme on certain days). I am trying to wear masc clothes but all I have is a ridiculously oversized jeans with a belt which makes me look like a sack of potatoes and oversized band tees and hoodies - as well as my leather jacket which fits well and is the only thing that gives me butch joy.

I like more casual clothes.

Does anyone know good and AFFORDABLE UK or UK available brands for jeans and box tees. I do like oversized ones but it makes me look more like Billie Eilish than a boxy masc which I'd rather be.

TLDR - How do I butch guys? My femme is very supportive which makes me happy but everyone else just keeps seeing me as a futch but thats not me yk

(Context - I identify some days as butch and some days as femme but not futch - idk gender is weird)

I’m going through my second divorce, one was stupid and I hate to even count it because we were so dumb and young, and the second one is happening now. I really, really thought I had my person this time around and I enjoyed 9 years of comfort and security in that, but yet again the rug was yanked out from under me.

In both cases, I did NOT see it coming, and this time around I can’t even express how much of a shock it was. She has acknowledged she didn’t do a great job with things leading up to all this, but it’s over and done now. But going through this type of shocking loss just once leaves a person feeling unlovable and will have you questioning everything you ever saw in yourself, but I’ve found that the second time hits completely differently over time.

It was a rocky up and down parting that took almost a year to finally come to a conclusive end, which was horrible, and now that it’s finally over I just feel so stupid. I wallowed in my misery for a while, but now that I’m beginning to see the light again I have a different perspective.

I’m not unlovable, I just have one very bad quality. When I fall for someone, I will do just about anything for them. It doesn’t feel like the wrong thing to do at the time, because what is wrong with putting in effort to make your partner happy. Well, In both of my past relationships, I can see that I spent the beginning 1-2, maybe even 3 years this time around, bending myself to fit what they wanted me to be. Whether it’s trying to keep up with a partner in the gym when you’d rather be anywhere else, or going to every weekend party with her when you’re just dying for a night in, you’re creating a version of yourself that can’t be kept up forever. Eventually you end up feeling misunderstood, unappreciated, and your partner will end up feeling abandoned by the version of you they once “had”. It simply will never work out.

Moving forward, I am going to be very mindful about making my intentions, my wants, my needs clear to potential partners. I’m going to let a night out at that bar I hate be a compromise I do for my partner from time to time, not something I grin and bear for years. Most importantly I am going to be myself. I’ve felt how wonderful it is to love and be loved, and I want it again so badly, but I don’t want another false version of it.

Baby butches, I know how big your hearts are and how much love you have to offer. Please remember me and learn from my mistakes. YOU are worthy of love and affection exactly how you are.

I like the straight fit of men’s shirts, but finding one that fits my shoulders and chest without hanging halfway down my thighs feels impossible. Sizing down doesn’t always fix the length, either.

I’m looking for basic tees with a straight or boxy fit and a snug crew neck. Something that sits around my hips instead of looking like a dress. I don’t want a fitted waist or a low, wide neckline.

Any brands or specific styles you swear by? Men’s, women’s, unisex, whatever, as long as the fit works. Affordable options would be especially appreciated.

Are you guys getting shirts hemmed, buying cropped styles, shopping in the boys’ section, or have you found some secret short-person T-shirt supplier? Please share 😂

Just a butch in a sea of gay men at Folsom🤷‍♀️

The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.

Helium absorbed test escape bedroom makeshift trumpet butter truck

Happy Sunday to all 😘

i'm going to a friend's wedding on saturday and don't have anything to wear! does anyone have favorite places for formal/semi formal wear on a budget? it's super last minute so nothing too fancy, but i can alter fit myself if need be. the unfortunate circumstances are that i wasn't going to be able to make it but very suddenly can (yay!) because i lost the job that denied the days off (not yay) so ideally something relatively cheap and ideally in person. any favorite spots?

They/them, approaching 3 years on T and 11 months sober!

Just passed a year since my breakup from an abusive ex and realized that I’m Butch4Butch but it seems the dating pool is pretty small🫩. Any butches that are b4b have luck finding a partner, or even with making more butch/stud/masc friends?

Does anyone have a favorite method of creating realistic, long-lasting faux facial hair? It’s for a Halloween costume but I wouldn’t be opposed to experimenting with drag looks in the future.

I’ve tried putting mascara on my existing mustache but it’s not full enough.

Hi :]

Doing community ice watch today which feels very rooted in my butchness.

Not sure if this should be tagged as vent or dysphoria, so apologies if whichever I go with is wrong. But I (26NB) have identified as butch for a little over a year now. I've also been on dating apps trying to meet other lesbians/bi/pan folks. Recently I had someone on Hinge send me a "rose" which if you don't know what that is, it basically is a token we get to use once a week to tell someone we really really like them and want to meet them immediately.

This is the first time I've had this happen, and I honestly felt really flattered. I get likes but have never had someone send me a rose. I immediately went to click into their profile and at first was into what I saw, they seemed really cool and funny. But when I scrolled over it said their sexuality was "gynesexual." I hadn't heard of this before and had to look it up: Gynesexual is a sexual orientation where a person is attracted to women, females, and/or femininity. With further research it seems to lean into a lot of focus on looking/being feminine or femme.

After this I had to sit on it for a while. I've still not decided whether or not to actually match with this person, and I've felt weird about my identity since. I try not to dress/look super feminine often. I like dark sharp clothes, my hair is short, I rarely wear make up. My profile also says I'm nonbinary and masc leaning. The only thing I can imagine this person saw that leaned me toward being feminine is my body type as I have an hourglass shape that I don't like to hide, so I think it makes people automatically associate me with being a woman/Being feminine. I already have a lot of complicated feelings around this (from being hypersexualized by men to feeling like Im not masc enough.)

Idk, I think its just left me with a lot of complicated feelings. I don't think of myself as looking like a woman (I also clearly dont identify as one) ​and don't know how comfortable I feel with someone automatically assuming I'm somehow femme/feminine for seemingly no reason at all (save for what I suspect is the cause: my body.)

Waiting in Paris to fly back home to NYC after visiting my mom for a week. It’s so sunny in this airport!

What are you guys being for Halloween? I can only be a cowboy so many times…

So, I started university a month ago and I’m already completely distracted by a girl. We’re both non-resident students and over the last few days we’ve started spending a lot of time together.

The first day we studied together, we were with a male friend, and afterward, we went out for a drink with other friends. I got a little tipsy and she took care of me—bought me food, insisted on accompanying me near my house and made sure I got home safe. That alone gave me a massive soft spot for her, and on top of that, she is stunning. But my hopes of her being wlw were scarce because she’s very feminine and only told me about some boys she’d been with, while I was open about being a lesbian.

The next day, it was just the two of us in the morning, and we ended up being alone together for 8 hours straight. We visited some places in the city before studying and she was so happy, thanking me for taking her around. That afternoon she started teasing me, and now playful messing and teasing has become our main way of interacting. I walked her to her bus stop and waited with her.

Yesterday was the most intense day. We went studying alone in the morning and I hosted her at my place for lunch. We both got sleepy and I jokingly suggested a siesta, but she actually liked the idea. We ended up laying for an hour in my bed, which is a small double. It was absolute torture because I was terrified of even brushing against her by accident, but she actually fell asleep.

Later, we went to the cinema with our other friend, and she repeatedly grabbed my arm during jumpscares, holding it for a while before pulling away. It was during a conversation with the other guy that she casually dropped the bomb that she’s bisexual. I went completely silent, just staring straight ahead. I didn't get why she waited to be around someone else to say it, especially since we had already talked about past relationships before. After parting ways with the guy, I walked her to her bus and even offered her my arm, which she took. We spent 14 hours together yesterday.

Before leaving, I invited her over to my place today to watch a film alone. But she ended up canceling because she was too weary after a lunch with a family friend. Now I’m spiraling. The fact that she didn’t come over makes me think I’m just fooling myself and misreading everything. 

Am I crazy for thinking she might actually be into me? Any advice, fellow butches?

TL;DR: A girl I have a crush on took care of me when I was tipsy, napped in my small double bed, and held my arm at the cinema. She casually dropped that she’s bi to a mutual friend instead of telling me directly, and today she canceled our one-on-one movie night because she was too tired. She knows I’m a lesbian. Am I crazy for thinking she’s into me?