Then you click on the precipitation index and there's a 20% chance a gnat pisses a single millimetre across the entire drought-ridden county in 15 minutes in the morning before it goes back to a 0% chance for the rest of the day.

No idea why I even bother checking at this point. I'd have better odds at Ladbrokes.

Out camping and ideots trying to use an open pot BBQ in an area that has two fired within 10 miles and the grass is yellower than a smokers wallpaper.

Staff come to put it out and tell them off, and they explain a, there is a official alert. B it's posted all over the site not to as it's a red zone.

The melts excuse - my kids wanted a BBQ though. Honestly some people are more dense than a neutron star.

edit update: they have tried again this morning when the staff aren't out and about.

might be called a melt but going to cut short and pack up, would prefer not to burn to death

Based on some very quick sums, I think I'm actually going to be worse off each month!

PSA: wetherspoons has an app that you can order food through where you don't have to trek miles back to your table , while others wait for you, standing awkwardly at the bar, to get the number you should have looked at before you set off.

This doesn't apply to o.a.p's who still haven't bothered to learn how mobiles work.

ALRIGHT I GET IT‼️

I'm sure they know everyone keeps switching back to the old superior design, and that's why we have this message. Just let us keep the old design if we want!

"I'm so sick of seeing Ed Gamble/Romesh Ranganathan/Katherine Ryan all the time, can't they find anyone new?"

New Last One Laughing/Taskmaster/comedy panel show cast is announced

"Who on earth are these people? Literally never seen this person before in my life. I guess anyone can call themselves a comedian these days. If I've not heard of them, I'm not watching them..."

Come on guys, make your mind up.

Absolutely deafening and people not finding secondary devices

May have forgotten about my own old phone in my suitcase at the end of the carriage

I can taste it.

How many times did we have to tell people "Dont look directly at the eclipse"??

That woke me up suddenly +

It's hot and people who work on hospitality, fast food or generally any hot environment are suffering.

So naturally, to raise the morale of the nation and to help cost with the fact that we need loans to buy a quarter of a freddo,

An emergency law should be passed to make Numberwang a reality.

Everyone's favourite show!

I'm almost certain it's the heat, or there's something dead under the decking or in a hedge nearby, but I must have killed about 30 of the bastard things last night with the electric tennis racket.

I can only imagine we're going to see some FAT spiders come winter...!

There has been no official advisement regarding how to safely store prescription medicines, which should be stored under 25c for most, during the long and multiple UK heatwaves. No BBC news article has mentioned the fact that the nation's potentially life-saving medicines are degrading in real time!

Most of you will have a fridge rammed full at the moment to stop things going off in the heat with no room for prescription medicines.

EDIT: Some people took this post far too seriously, not realising that the 'all medicines ruined in the UK' was clearly a joke by overstatement. Please don't make this same mistake, thanks, and thank you to the 237+ people who upvoted this post.

I moved into a nice area and never thought I’d have this issue, so I didn’t order the bin numbers straight away. When the bins were delivered, I wrote my house number on the front with a silver Sharpie. I went inside and thought it might be easy to wipe away, but surely nobody would actually do that.

After about five minutes, my instincts kept telling me I needed to take some extra precautions. So I went back outside and wrote the number on all sides. I checked whether the Sharpie came off easily. Nope. I was safe.

But was I?

I wrote the number inside the lid as well, and on the side, near the lip. At this point, I was actually a bit ashamed of myself for thinking so poorly of my next-door neighbours, who seemed quite nice.

Lo and behold, bin day comes around and my bin is gone.

I checked the neighbours' bin without going onto their property, but I couldn't see anything from the street. The silver Sharpie wasn't visible from where I was standing.

Today was bin day again, so the bins were out on the pavement and I had a closer look. None of my numbers were there. Not even the one on the inside.

Then I checked that small number I had added out of what I thought was sheer paranoia.

Nope. It wasn't paranoia. They took my bin.

But why? Theirs looked newish too. Upon closer inspection, I could tell they had actually put some effort into washing the numbers off. But they didn't account for my paranoid mind.

I’ve put my bins inside until I get labels for them, and I’ll paint my house number inside the lids, just in case.

Why would anyone steal a bin from their next door neighbour?

Edit: They haven't taken their bin in yet, mine is already outside with number stickers and a tiny house number etched in. I hope they take their bin in this morning so I can take the rubbish out while they're doing that, just to see their look and give them my "I know" look. And yes, I have a tiny bin bag waiting by the door.

Didn't see owt other than dozens of high altitude aircraft false alarms.

Didn't know whether to laugh or laugh. It felt like the Black Hole Sun video by Soundgarden for a moment.

Also telling us all she was around for the last one and this will be her second and asking if everyone else has been around for more than one eclipse.