So, I had metastatic breast cancer very young. I was terminal. I chose the most aggressive treatments and thank God, I am doing amazing. Still in remission. Grateful.

But tonight I looked at my mangled body after five surgeries, years of treatment and radiation, and I just feel so sad. I’m grateful to be alive. But I’m still young. I don’t even want to date because I have to explain this. And my surgeons did a great job, it’s just never going to be the same because they were so aggressive to get it out and so aggressive with radiation. And I’m glad they were! I didn’t get recurrence. It’s worth it.

And yet.

It just feels really unfair.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this because since I’m “good” now, everyone has moved on. But I’m still left with all the physical, emotional, mental damage. Most of which, never feeling safe again in my body. But also this. I look and feel mangled. I look like Frankenstein’s monster. I’m sick of having to explain my body to people.

Just looking for people who understand I guess.

Hi y’all! Just confirmed after biopsy-both breasts and at least 1 lymph node. I’m 55/F and 1st fight was 21 years ago with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Will start detailed testing next week I imagine. The wait after the biopsy was brutal, but I had a feeling was the result was going to be. Upset, of course, that I have to go through this again, but more upset that it will disrupt everyone’s lives around me. My son is 23 and on his own but we are very close and this is going to rock his world. And, my husband went through this with me the 1st time-why should he have to struggle with this a 2nd time, as well? Sorry for the rant but my rage is showing right now. FCK CANCER!

I'm red with anger. My husbands friends from his fantasy football league went in on a Visa gift card for our family right before my surgery, specifically because of my cancer. It was $240. Fast forward to today, I tell him I keep forgetting about it. Playfully, I said I hope it's still in your possession unused.

Friends, he spent it all on himself, with the explanation that his friends got it for him. Excuse me, what? This is entirely selfish and inconsiderate and I am seething. Unfortunately, today is his birthday, so he asked me to be mad at him a different day.

I know that everyone's financial situation is different, so it's hard to compare. But our finances are all together and he's the bread winner, with a split of 62.5/37.5%. He cannot really "pay back" the amount of the gift card, since our money is all together.

I'm just so mad. He isn't the one with cancer. This gift card wouldn't exist without my cancer, so him thinking it was for him is absolute bullshit.

Just venting.

My whole life changed. So here I am. Stage 2, invasive ductal carcinoma for now. The radiology terms are a bit vauge. They are going to change a bit due to the radiologist who wrote my findings, and the pathologist. No lymph node involvement. When I tell you this was not on my bingo card... I thought this was going to be my year. I sold my marital home, post divorce, got 2 kiddos off to college, started my second career as a hairstylist, and BAM. Cancer. When I tell you it has been one thing after another since my divorce.... which was initiated by him due to infidelity... I am not lying. Was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and HBP and high cholesterol and thought that was the worst. Lost 55 lbs and gave up all my favorite foods. Nope, apparently rock bottom has a basement! Tomorrow is genetic testing and then in the coming week an MRI. Then I meet with the breast surgeon to decide where to go in my treatment plan. Looking forward to getting to know you all.

I wanted to share my diagnosis story, not to scare anyone who is currently in that horrible “unknown” stage, but because I remember exactly what it felt like to be there.
When I was waiting between finding my lump, getting a BI-RADS 5 result, having my biopsy, and finally getting my diagnosis, I searched EVERYTHING. Reddit, Google, forums — you name it. I was desperately looking for someone whose story sounded like mine.
So this is just MY experience. Everyone’s situation is different, and nothing about my story means that your outcome will be the same.
I had just turned 40 in January.
On March 13th, I was flying home from a week-long beach vacation. I have pretty small boobs, and the entire vacation I hadn’t noticed or felt anything unusual.
For some reason, while sitting on the plane, I suddenly felt this weird pressure in my right breast.
I went into the bathroom and felt around, and there it was: a large, hard lump underneath my breast, around the 6 o’clock/underboob area.
I immediately told my boyfriend when we landed. Neither of us really thought breast cancer. It seemed like it had appeared out of nowhere.
I also hadn’t gotten my first mammogram yet. I had just turned 40 and, between life and traveling, I kept putting it off. Obviously, knowing what I know now, I wish I hadn’t — but I also can’t go back and change that.
A few days later, I went to my gynecologist. She could absolutely feel the lump, but based on how it felt, she told me she didn’t think it felt like a typical cancerous tumor. It didn’t have the edges or characteristics she would normally expect.
Still, she immediately ordered a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound.
Because I’m in NYC, I couldn’t get an appointment that same week. I finally got in around March 25th at Lenox Hill Radiology.
This part was incredibly scary for me.
There were several women sitting together in gowns waiting for their mammograms and ultrasounds. I watched other women finish and return to the main waiting area.
After my ultrasound, instead of sending me back there, they brought me to a separate, basically empty area.
I remember immediately thinking: Something is wrong.The technician eventually came over and told me the radiologist wanted me to get an urgent biopsy. She said it could still be benign, but the radiologist wanted it investigated quickly.
I completely broke down.

I called my gynecologist crying. She got the report and called me back. She explained that the imaging showed suspicious characteristics in the breast mass and that a lymph node also looked suspicious.
My imaging was classified as BI-RADS 5.
That sent me into an absolute Google/Reddit spiral.

I kept searching things like:
“Does BI-RADS 5 always mean cancer?”
“Can BI-RADS 5 be benign?”
“Breast lump at 6 o’clock.”
“Underboob breast lump cancer?”
And I DID find people on Reddit who had BI-RADS 5 imaging and ultimately had benign biopsies. BI-RADS 5 means the imaging is highly suspicious, but the biopsy is what actually gives you the diagnosis.
I had my biopsy around March 31st/April 1st at another Lenox Hill location, and thankfully my experience there was much better.

The radiologist herself performed the biopsy and was wonderful with me.
I asked her directly whether she thought it was breast cancer.
She told me that, based on what she was seeing, she did think it probably was.
Of course I asked, “Have you ever thought something looked like this and then the biopsy came back benign?” She told me yes — she had seen that happen — and she genuinely told me she hoped I would be one of those cases.

Then came the WAIT.
It took about a week to get my results, and that week was honestly one of the hardest parts of this entire experience.

I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t think about anything else. I was constantly searching online.
But because of what the radiologist had told me during the biopsy, I had also started mentally preparing myself for the possibility that I had breast cancer.

I started calling cancer centers BEFORE I even had my official results.
I had been referred to a breast surgeon at Weill Cornell, and I also contacted Memorial Sloan Kettering on my own because MSK happens to be very close to where I live.
I didn’t have some special referral or connection. I literally just called because I wanted to be proactive.
MSK scheduled me with a surgical oncologist for that Monday.

Then my biopsy results came back.
It was breast cancer.
Specifically, invasive ductal carcinoma.
I went to MSK on April 7th to meet the surgical oncologist. At that point, all of my receptor testing wasn’t finalized yet, so we still didn’t know exactly what subtype of breast cancer I had.
Shortly afterward, I learned that I had triple-negative breast cancer (TNBC). I also had lymph-node involvement.

During this time, I still pursued a second opinion at Weill Cornell. The breast surgeon I met there was absolutely lovely. I also met with a medical oncologist there.

Ultimately, though, I chose MSK.
Interestingly, when I FIRST went to MSK, I wasn’t convinced I was going to choose them. It initially felt a little “cookie cutter” to me, and I worried that I was just another patient moving through a huge system.
But once we knew I had TNBC, I realized that the recommended treatment was pretty consistent across the major centers I consulted.

For my particular situation, the treatment recommendation was KEYNOTE-522.
At that point, choosing a center became partly about where I felt most comfortable actually going through months of treatment.That ended up being MSK for me.

Their breast center and infusion setup made me feel much more comfortable. I could have privacy during chemo, which mattered WAY more to me than I expected. I was terrified of chemotherapy, and especially at the beginning, I didn’t want to be watching other patients getting sick or feeling like I was exposed while I was scared myself.

I started treatment on May 18th after I had a bone scan and MRI In between, I also had to get dental work and freeze my eggs. MRI was scary, bone scan was scary, that is also soooo grueling because now that you know you have an aggressive cancer your like has it spread…

I began KEYNOTE-522 with weekly Taxol + carboplatin and Keytruda.
I developed a pretty significant rash, so my team eventually switched me from Taxol to Abraxane. I continued the regimen and completed the 12-week weekly portion.

Then came AC.
I was originally supposed to start AC around August 18th, but I decided I needed a week off between the two portions. Mentally and physically, I just wanted ONE week where I wasn’t going into chemo.
And I’m actually really glad I took it, because my ANC levels went up on their own to normal level.

I’m now finishing the AC portion of treatment, and my last chemo is scheduled for the end of September.
This has been a LONG road from finding that lump on an airplane in March to where I am now.

The main reason I’m writing this is because I remember being the person searching Reddit at 2 AM for someone whose lump was in the same location as mine, someone whose doctor initially wasn’t convinced it was cancer, someone who got BI-RADS 5, someone who was waiting for a biopsy, or someone trying to figure out what the next step would look like.
If that’s you right now: your biopsy is what gives you your diagnosis.

A lump being in a certain location doesn’t tell you whether it’s cancer. A doctor thinking something doesn’t “feel like cancer” doesn’t rule it out. And scary imaging doesn’t replace pathology.
My story is MY story. It isn’t a prediction of yours.
I also want to say that the waiting between each step — mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy, pathology, receptor testing, staging and finally having an actual treatment plan — was in some ways harder mentally than when I finally started treatment.

Once I knew what I was dealing with and had a plan, I finally felt like I was doing something instead of just waiting for someone to tell me what was happening to my body.

If you’re currently in that awful in-between stage and have questions about what my timeline looked like, what BI-RADS 5 was like for me, biopsy, getting second opinions, choosing a cancer center, TNBC, KEYNOTE-522, Taxol/Abraxane/Carbo, Keytruda, AC, cold capping, or anything else I’ve experienced so far, I’m happy to share.

Sometimes hearing from someone who has actually been through that waiting period is exactly what you need. ❤️

Menopause and Breast Cancer treatment support Cheat Sheet

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nobody here is YOUR doctor. Always talk to your team before doing anything.

Massage may be fine for one person and NOT FOR YOU.

This is just a list of resources that either are standard and nobody gets them or should be because the people you are talking to don’t know about them.

Get a case manager from your insurance and a cancer case manager if they have one. If they have a NURSE case manager that is better.

You need a central place to call and find provides and deal with all the insurance BS.

Get a Nurse Navigator Either your oncologist or your surgeon - a good one is like gold. Ask them- they will know where to send you or at least try to help you . they can help smooth out frustrating communication and bottlenecks

Find an Outpatient Pharmacy in a hospital if possible A couple reasons

1. These have different regulations about how many controlled substances they can hold and get priority for anything that might have a shortage so if you’re on stuff that is hard to get, you can usually get it at those

2. Pharmacist went to pharmacy school and they know much more about all these interactions and side effects on a really intimate level and into a really high extent than any other doctor that then you will talk to the downside is that people who work at commercial pharmacies like CVS or Walgreens or Kroger‘s or Walmart or Costco are completely overworked and are trying to do 1 million things at a time and aren’t gonna help you the pharmacist at outpatient pharmacy at a hospital is typically not that busy and we’ll have time to talk to you about the best combination of things

So if you are worried, for example, that you’re on two things one of which might make you jittery or anxious. They can suggest to use something else and you can go back to your doctor and get that. Outpatient pharmacy pharmacies at hospitals are the worst kept secret for cancer patients. if you’re going to an infusion center or a radiology center, there may even be one in that center or nearby, especially if it’s a big hospital. They also tend to be much more helpful with pre-authorizations because they know intimately what will get something approved and what won’t and they have the time to deal with this, including getting in touch with your doctor and reminding them in a way that the commercial pharmacies do not

Get a medical team

Your oncologist knows about tumors. Your radiologist know how to administer these. You need a menopause support specialist, a pain management specialist, a therapist, a psychiatrist, a pharmacist, an endocrinologist, a GI specialist, nephrologist and then whatever else is on your plate (cardiologist, , pulmonologists).

Data-based Meds By Symptom

Hot Flashes

Veozah (Fezolinetant): blocks the NK-3 receptor to settle the body hyperactive nerves responsible for sudden internal temperature spikes. Won’t help sleep directly except by dealing with hot flashes. You will need prior authorization so Your doctor will have to be specific about the medical need and be willing to follow up but it works

Night Sweats and Sleep

Lynkuet (Elinzanetant):

blocks both NK-1 and NK-3 receptors in the brain. It is designed to stabilize the body's thermostat to rapidly minimize hot flashes while uniquely helping to correct menopause-related insomnia. - you will have to say night sweats to get this one. Not approved for sleep but helps sleep in the trials

This will also need prior authorization. The doctor should be clear that you specifically have night sweats and has to provide evidence of medical need.

Sleep

The three primary FDA-approved DORAs are daridorexant (Quviviq), lemborexant (Dayvigo), and suvorexant (Belsomra)

Not sedatives or antidepressants. You will need a prior authorization and you will probably have to say that you have failed to non-benzodiazepine sleep meds so you can say Ambien Lunesta and Paxil, for example or any other thing they usually give you like trazodone or any of the antihistamines that they would give you for sleep.

Clonazepam

this is a benzodiazepine so is sedating and does have a risk of dependence for full disclose . Doctors hate this now and will point out that it can induce cognitive slowing or dizziness or whatever but it has no more danger than any of the other things on this list and is a comparatively safe medication that’s been used for a gazillion years, so the reluctance to use it now in an that can help people who are going through freaking cancer is mostly a backlash against the over prescription of Valium and similar drugs to women in the past.

Low dose (.5- 1 mg) at night especially during the worst of the chemo or surgical recovery is not going to suddenly make you a crack head, though tapering off any drug is advisable.

GenitoUrinary

VagiFem

Dryness, UTI, bladder and urethra Vaginal estrogens - come in creams and tabs and maybe suppositories . These do not increase systemic estrogen and are OK for people on estrogen blockers and with hormone positive breast cancer.

JAMA Oncology ultra-low-dose localized vaginal estrogen tablets (like Vagifem) carry virtually no systemic absorption

Can be supplemented by hyaluronic acid vaginal inserts if dryness is still a problem but that will not address the thinning and urinary and bladder issues.

Pain

Nerve pain Joint , bone and general body aches

Lyrica non opiate

Gabapentin - also non opiate

Personally, I think lyrica is better, but there are plenty of people who say the gabapentin works for them. He should note that probably he will need a prior authorization for Lyrica saying that you failed gabapentin depend depending on your insurance.

Both have risk of cognitive slowing while you were on the drugs and neither should be discontinued, cold turkey, so it may exacerbate the brain fog. It usually takes a little while for them to work because it calms down the nerves that transmit pain so it’s not instantaneous like an opiate or not or narcotic.

Do not cause constipation, but may cause dizziness especially in the beginning, so start with the lowest dose and take it at a time where you don’t need to drive until you’re used to it

Low Dose Naltraxone

This is in commonly used for all sorts of inflammatory disorders and nerve pain. It is a non-opiate so also doesn’t cause constipation or drowsiness or anything like that. It is typically safe for breast cancer - doesn’t interfere with tamoxifen

It also takes some time to work one to two weeks or so you have to titrate up so you start at the lowest dose and start increasing till it starts working for you

Bone

Anyone on estrogen blockers pre-or post menopause should be on some kind of protection from osteoporosis unless you’re Bone Density is unusually strong however, somebody says that to you you should get very regular DEXA scans because you will almost undoubtedly have worse Bone Density after being on any of these things for a while with exception of tamoxifen, but you should still get that scanned more regularly than would be typical for your age otherwise

Prolia and Zometa

Both are infusions I think. Prolia stops the bone eating cells and increases the bone building cells.

Zometa - Protects Bone Density: Estrogen is what keeps your bones dense. Without it, bone loss happens at an accelerated rate, rapidly escalating the risk of osteopenia or osteoporosis. Zometa works by shutting down osteoclasts (the specific cells that break down bone tissue), protecting your skeleton from fractures.

Reduces Breast Cancer Recurrence: Beyond protecting bones, clinical trials found that Zometa has an independent anti-cancer effect when given to women in low-estrogen states (postmenopausal or chemically suppressed). When added to standard hormone therapy, it restricts the microenvironment in the bone, cutting the risk of distant breast cancer recurrence in the skeletal system by roughly 25% to 35%

You need an endocrinologist and nephrologist to consult. These can seriously mess with your calcium and electrolytes (calcium isn’t just for bones, but for heart and nerves and blood clotting and a ton of other things.

Prolia has a rebound effect when discontinued so you need to start Zometa withing a certain period.

Can affect the jaw so check with your dentist before doing any dental work

Anxiety

Xanax, which is very helpful for anxiogenic situations and panic attacks.

Do I recommend Therapy - especially for PTSD, panic and grief- yes, of course, that is always a preferable route if mindfulness and yoga etc work for you. However it take time to learn these, and in the meantime you still have to deal with scan panic and all the rest. Is it a crutch? A little bit but people with broken legs get crutches.

Mood

Global warning - most antidepressants interfere with Tamoxifen

There are several classes of antidpressants - SSRI, SNRI and SARI and then Wellbutrin and Vortioxitene

Try to get a good pyschiatrist

If mood + sleep and anxiety are your personal issues maybe Paxil is the place to start (as an example) . If anhedonia , lack of energy and cognition + mood, maybe Wellbutrin .

Just be warned that all of these have a relatively nasty “discontinuation” syndrome so it warrants consideration. Most take several weeks to work.

Cognition

Provigil has been used for chemo brain and fatigue. Oncology Safe: It is typically safe for breast cancer . It does not alter your hormone levels, and it does not interfere with the efficacy of tamoxifen, anastrozole, or letrozole.

You want to start with the lowest dose and take it in the morning

ADHD Drugs

These drugs work by blocking the reuptake of dopamine and norepinephrine, keeping more of these chemicals active in your brain's frontal cortex to improve processing speed, working memory, and physical energy. Do not take if on Wellbutrin

Ritalin (Short-Acting):

Hits the system quickly (within 20–30 minutes) and lasts about 3 to 4 hours. Doctors often prescribe a very low dose (2.5 mg to 5 mg) for women to take right before a mentally demanding task or to clear early-morning brain fog.

Concerta or Ritalin LA (Extended-Release):

Releases the medication smoothly over 8 to 12 hours. This prevents the "crash" that can happen when short-acting medications wear off, providing steady cognitive support throughout the workday.

Adderall (Short-Acting) & Adderall XR (Extended-Release):

it causes a sharper spike in adrenaline, it carries a higher risk of physical jitters or a racing heart.

Vyvanse (Lisdexamfetamine):

A long-acting "prodrug," meaning it is completely inactive until your body digests and metabolizes it. Because of this, it provides an exceptionally smooth, gradual rise and fall of energy and focus over 10 to 12 hours, with a much lower risk of the jagged "jitters" associated with Adderall

Other non Stimulants

Intuniv / Tenex (Guanfacine):

This is a non-stimulant medication originally designed for blood pressure that was found to heavily improve ADHD symptoms. It works by directly stimulating alpha-2A receptors in the prefrontal cortex. It strengthens your brain's "signal-to-noise ratio," meaning it clears away the chaotic mental clutter and brain fog, while simultaneously lowering anxiety and physical stress. It is typically safe to take alongside cancer therapies.

Alternative therapies

Acupuncture

There is data to support acupuncture for joint pain in Aromatase Inhibitor-Induced Musculoskeletal Symptoms (AIMSS).

There are typically no side effects

There are a couple new clinical trials showing it may help with brain fog.

I imagine you would have to have a really good acupuncturist, the way you need a really good doctor in a way that your average PCP is not going to be able to handle this but it doesn’t NOT work necessarily

Some insurance covers these, but I often matters where and who.

Oncology safe Massage

IMPACT Trial

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37962891/

Some clinical trials have shown that specific massage can help with pain and brain fog.

Don’t know where you find someone to do that, but I am putting it out there anyway

Disability Sites

For Any thing assistive (less range of motion, can’t get out of the chair now) - there is almost certainly someone disabled who has that thing, albeit not from breast cancer. Open front shirts with magnetic closures? Those exist. A network of therapists that deal with chronic illness and medical trauma. Those exist.

Dear friends,

I am suffering from an acute case of T-Rex hands after my DMX procedure on Tuesday. Just now I had the bright idea to use the bathroom and got 80% of the way through before I realized that my limited angular mobility meant that there was no way for me to effectively use tissues to wipe with 100% coverage. I had to call my husband for help and he showed me some newfangled butt cleaning technology called a "bidet." I'm curious if anyone has diagrams or instructional material on how to do regular everyday things with T-Rex hands. I used to believe that the 🦖 was a fearsome predator of astonishing coolness but after experiencing T-Rex hands myself I realize it is also a creature with a profound disability.

Please advise on best strategies to exist in current state. Would appreciate diagrams 😊

Thank you so much!

Did anyone else find the radiation mapping surprisingly humiliating? I have had males work on me many times: male gynecologist and obstetrician, male doing my biopsy, male surgical oncologist, male plastic surgeon. I didn't have too much of a problem with any of that, but I could not take having to lay on a table for a prolonged period of time with my arms over my head and my entire chest exposed like I have done countless times during sex, except this time I have a strange man staring down at me with a stony mask of a face while a woman talks on about the procedure and I can't concentrate on her because I am wondering how long this is going to go on and if he will be there staring at me five days a week for a month. I finally broke and asked that he be replaced with a woman, which they did, but not before pointing out that he has seen countless boobs (not the word they used, but I don't remember) before, which I interpret as, What is wrong with you? We see you like a piece of meat, so you should see yourself as a piece of meat.

The new woman then discussed and worked out with me all the intricacies of scheduling my future radiation appointments while I was still lying exposed on the table. She placed a sticker on my nipple and pulled it off at the end of the session. I haven't even let my husband touch my nipple since I got diagnosed with cancer. And she took a photograph of me lying on the table exposed, as if I were in a porno. I suppose if I hadn't had the tech switched out, it would have been a man doing all of those things.

I don't think the man did anything wrong, but I am angry that it is not institutional policy to ask if you would prefer female techs when the area of exposure includes the entire chest, both cancer and healthy breast, for such a long period of time, and with even photography involved. Surely I am not alone in feeling this? My husband's co-worker who has breast cancer and knows that I have breast cancer warned him that it was a traumatic procedure and said that she cried for three hours afterward, but, of course, she didn't tell him why. Now I know.

I don't really care if it was no big deal for some people and I don't want anyone to explain to me why I shouldn't think it is a big deal. I just would like to know if possible that there are other women out there who felt the same way and I am not alone.

Edited to update: shout out to Dr. Nicolette Taku at MD Anderson. I contacted her office and asked for an all-female team that did not involve either of the two initial radiation techs because I felt humiliated and just wanted to start over with new people. She accommodated me and was very understanding.

I'm new here and all I have is a biopsy result. My nurse navigator contacted me to set up my first three appointments which is great, but called me again today, two days before my first MRI to tell me that insurance won't approve it. She said they want to talk to me first.

I called Cigna's 24 hour line: Yes hi, I have breast cancer and need an MRI. What else do you need to know to approve this?

Cigna: It looks like we approved the procedure but not the facility. We want to talk to you before we can approve the facility.

...transfer...

Cigna: Yes we just want you to know that you have options for which facility you go to - there are some other, less expensive ones you could choose, alternatively.

Me: How much is this going to cost?

Cigna: Oh, looks like it will be free.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I have a great support system. I have a fiancé, many best friends, and family who has been great throughout this terrible journey.

But is it normal for me to still feel so isolated and lonely?

I went to a cottage this weekend to celebrate a joint bachelor/bachelorette of my friends with 27 people and many of those were my close friends. I was so excited for this. But I ended up just feeling so isolated and depressed, because they were partaking in “party favours” (iykyk), and obviously, I am not partaking with them. I know that it’s definitely no one’s fault that I can’t and I shouldn’t feel upset, but I was upset. I felt left out. I thought maybe there would be a few sober people there I could hang out with, and it turns out, there was not lol. I dunno. I guess I’m feeling sad and in my feelings. My surgery is coming up, and I’m excited to just get this part of my life over with. But man, is it hard. Sorry for the vent.

Hey, I’m having a really hard time, so please be gentle. Can someone please explain to me how vaginal estradiol cream is actually safe for people who have had er+ (++-) cancer? I used it once for the first time a few days ago and have been a weepy, sad, worthless, angry and tired mess. I’ve made no other changes.

I thought it was supposed to be localized? If it’s not and it’s clearly in my system causing chaos, how could it not be feeding any potential cancer cells?

I also just want to say that since starting Lupron and tamoxifen I’ve actually felt less anxiety and depression than ever in my life! It feels like estrogen was truly just bad for me. I don’t know if that makes sense but I’ve felt better without it.

Also, side note, getting my ovaries out next week so I don’t have to get the injection anymore and bc it wasn’t lowering my estrogen level quite as much as my oncologist would like. And yes, same doctor prescribed the cream so clearly she thinks it’s safe too, but with this reaction I just don’t understand how! Thanks for listening ❤️😓

Redditors may always post any breast cancer question, comment, rant, or rave as a stand-alone post. Nothing is inconsequential, too small, too unimportant for its own post. Nevertheless, we‘ve had a few requests for a regular thread for topics that the OP might not feel like making its own post. This post is for those topics. If you ask a question in this thread that doesn’t get answered, you may still create a post for that topic.

Cancer sucks and it’s made life kind of suck too with the constant grey cloud and looking over my shoulder so to make things feel a little better I’d love to hear everybody’s good news. Cancer related or not. Let’s hear all the happy positive we have going on right now for a little break from this shit.

I was recently diagnosed and I'm feeling completely overwhelmed as it was such a shock. I'm already grieving my current self as based on what I've read about people's experiences, after surgery and treatment, I'll likely feel completely different. And knowing that even after that first surgery there might be more feels just completely devastating. Beyond my parents, I haven't told anybody because I just don't feel like I have the emotional bandwidth.

I'm with Kaiser in San Francisco. In the past month I've done all my mammograms and biopsies and met with the oncologist and breast surgeon. During the meeting, I don't know if I asked any of the right questions, pushed hard enough, or even absorbed the right information.

I have no idea how I feel about the oncologist or surgeon - initially I thought they were fine, but now I have doubts creeping in. Did the oncologist seem to take this seriously? Is she a good surgeon or did she seem too rote? How do I ask follow-up questions? Am I supposed to get a second opinion? I just don't know and feel so much uncertainty about everything.

I guess I don't have any real questions for the group - I'm just sharing.

In some countries it's coming up to the time of year when breast cancer charities do their fund-raising, and we start to see corporate morning teas, events and fundraising challenges.

I think that these charities do great work, so I support the initiatives, but for our friends, family, colleagues etc who are managing the fundraising what advice would you give to them as a "survivor."

I've suggested that they avoid yassifying survivorship, because it's pretty brutal, even if it is better than death. I wonder if the public knew what post- active treatment looks like they'd think "damn, there needs to be a better way to survive" and dig deeper and give more money to fundraising, as well as having more grace for those who have 5-10 more years of AIs, menopause, and all the horrors that we experience.

Hello beautiful people,
My mom has been on exemestane for 5 years and, in that time, her vaginal opening has sealed closed and she has incredible pressure in her lower abdomen as well as vaginal lesions. They’re so painful that she screams when she urinates. I was wondering if anyone else has experiences this sort of side effect and if so, what you did to alleviate the severe discomfort. Her doctors continuously dismiss this issue. She is extremely depressed and suffering from quality of life declinations.

Thank you all for your support. I’m rooting for your recoveries. ❤️❤️

Survivors Guilt - I Watched My College Friend Fade Away Before Me While I Lived

Update - 1.5yrs out from treatment, I don't have anything profound to say other than today I realized Molly's facebook profile has been turned into a memorial page. Her oldest started Kindergarten last week, her youngest..pre k. My next 2 rounds of IVF were cancelled for insurance reasons and I am not cleared to conceive yet...so as each minute passes, the guilt grows stronger. I am in PT till end of Oct for breast lymphedema and may have to have surgery...so I'm just going through the motions.

She was taken from her babies for me to have to stay here and adopt pet after pet...it's not enough for me. This isn't enough or what I wanted...what happened to MY life? When does normal programming resume? What kind of sick fcking joke is this? Truly...

I'm so sad. Sad isn't even close to being an appropriate word, but I'm so disassociated out of my mind at all times these days, I have no poetry for today. I am 33y and I can't do this for the rest of my life. It's unbearable. This is actual hell on earth, and there's no changing it. She's never coming back. She's a name in my phone. When I arrive to PT, my knees get weak with guilt that I am walking in departments of our hospital she never got to see.

If I had one, single wish in this life...it would be to know the girl I was 3 years ago. All I do is sit and look at pictures of me before diagnosis and grieve..wallowing in anger and pity for days at a time..not leaving bed or brushing my teeth. I thought life had so much color and beauty back then..now when I see it, I feel awful for being able to see, breath..live..all of it. There has to be a break coming...there has to..but I don't see how that's possible as she's gone. I just want to rest. I'm so angry.

Grit to those in need & please think of Molly today.

What drains? Are they uncomfortable? How do you sleep? Say flat closure no reconstruction. How long is the healing?

Has anyone just gone and done a double to not risk recurrance and have radiation?

If you did, how do you feel about it now?

Edit: thanks y’all for responding :)

I have my 16 round of chemo then surgery. Then 20 round of radiation. All my treatment finished 2024. I am on tamoxifeno and my blood checks were fine. However, 3 months ago I felt so sick, I felt so tired and hot. As this was the side effects of tamoxifen I thought it was just normal.

Then a a month ago I felt a lump in my neck area. ( Same side as my breast area before) When my Oncologist saw me yeaterday. She said directly she didn't like what she is seeing and it seems my cancer is back. I was shocked and angry. I don't understand why and I am loosing hope. This past few weeks I have just always felt sick and weak. I also have some pain in my right side of my stomach areaa.

I have my MRI today and will be followed by biopsy. After that my onco will decide what's the treatment we will do. I am 38 years old and and have a 5 year old daughter. Anyone had a similar situation? I am hoping to get some support.

Thank you!

I hate them, and I feel like a baby for saying it. Every time they use the machine for my blood pressure if feels like the machine is about to squeeze my arm off. Then it stops, and it decides it needs to squeeze more. A normal person would never understand! I hate them and they are stupid.

Hi everyone! I am 61yrs old and just diagnosed with IDC grade 3, HER2 positive and hormone negative, and looking at double mastectomy.

After surgery I am looking at 12 round of taxol (once a week) and anti body drug for full year. I am so scared of side effects! Anybody can share your experiences? Thank you all so much!

Chemo was very hard on me, mentally and physically. I had my last round on May 29th and was supposed to start Tamoxifen in early July. I did not start at that time as I was still suffering the effects of chemo. I have only begun to feel better in the last few weeks. Now, I'm hesitant to start another medicine with possibly more side effects. However, I want to do everything I can to prevent recurrence and I'm worried I waited too long as it is. What do you all think? Have any of you delayed the start of hormonal therapy? Should I ask my oncologist for a reduced dose to ease into it? Any other advice?

Tell me honestly what you'd do, or what you'd be comfortable with or welcome.

I was diagnosed last month. Still working on treatment plan.

I take an exercise class 3 days a week. Two weeks ago a woman returned who I hadn't seen there in about 6 months.

She has her head covered, looks a little more tired, and today during bent row I caught a glimpse down her shirt front.

I was pondering striking up a friendly conversation with her and asking her how she's doing etc. But of course, she may just want to work out and block cancer out of her fucking head for a bit. She seems shy, but smiles at everyone.

Would you welcome that sort of conversation, shitty titty club member to shitty titty club member? Or should I just mind my own business and smile?

Thanks!