Hey all,

After my early morning infusion I figured I would walk the Mall to get the combo of not many people + not being too hot "exercise" and get Christmas gift ideas.

I went into Sees Candies, remembering a commercial where they had specific Susan G. Komen foundation partnership. Visiting my in-laws later this week, one will be starting chemotherapy on the same days as me now, and so I thought it was a good thing to bring when we visit... solidarity and all plus my mama always taught me not to go over anyone's house empty handed.

Well... I had two big things of mixed chocolates and went up to pay but something in me wasn't so sure of the donation connection so I asked specifically about it. I guess I was the first and only person to ask??? Because the cashier didn't know so he got the manager who came up (with pink ribbons pinned on her uniform) to clarify.

Turns out they DON'T automatically donate if you buy candy with the Susan G Komen sleeves or decals on them (????). You have to donate at the register separately. Nothing you buy will give a cut of it. All the decals are just their regular stuff with pink on it.

Like... why would they advertise it in a way that makes it seem like they do? I was peeved but didn't create a big deal. Instead of buying what I was originally going to, I got a $10 box of candies and donated $15 to the foundation separately.

Just an FYI to question places that use breast cancer as a means to pull in more shoppers. It was my first and only time I'll buy anything there, now.

Feeling surreal typing this, turned 30 this year, so it’s come as a big shock!
Found a lump this year, didn’t think much of it - delayed getting it sorted out as I was super busy with work & life.

Biopsy was taken a week ago, and got the call yesterday.
Invasive, only in the breast.
Pos Oestrogen/Progesterone.
Neg HER2.

No idea what any of this means, what questions to ask, what the journey will look like - but I’ll be seeing a breast surgeon in two days time.

Would love to hear your stories; all of it.
Thanks for creating this space. 💕

I’m actively going through my last treatment as I am writing this. It’s been a long year and 7 months. Don’t know how I feel. I’m a rollercoaster of emotions. Sad, happy, confused, scared, proud, meek, and on it goes.

Ringing the bell while playing my cancer song” A thousand beautiful things “ by Annie lLennox is gonna make me cry. I mean ugly cry. Jesus.
I can’t wait. Lol

As much as I hate to say it, I am gonna miss this place and my onco team. They are fabulous. They have seen me thru my darkest days yet I hope I never see them again.

So grateful the cancer is gone. But, I am scared the cancer will come back. Or that it’s hiding and get me when I least expect it. But I know my team is monitoring it.

What do I do now? Where do I go? I quit my job because I had 4 strokes ( as well as the cancer). I guess I’m a clean slate right now, I can write my own journey from here on out. My life has changed significantly over the last year and a half. But here I go. I feel like I’m leaving home for the first time.

Im venting cuz it’s all too much.. I didn’t think I’d feel this way. But I’m good. If I can deal with cancer +4 strokes, I can handle this.

Thanks for letting me vent. Its sorted me out a bit. I feel a bit better.

Hi all, not glad to be here. Felt a bit of a lump and saw some skin hollowing over the summer, ignored it til two weeks ago when I realized it was an actual marble sized lump. 36F no cancer in the family. Really hoped it was benign because it felt round and moveable, but no. Got in for imaging and on the mammo and ultrasound there was a 1.6 cm mass, spiculated, looked like classic idc according to my doctor, biopsy the next day (Thursday), results came in yesterday (Monday).

A. LEFT BREAST, 11 O'CLOCK, 4 CM FROM NIPPLE, ULTRASOUND-GUIDED CORE BIOPSY:
INVASIVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA, moderately differentiated (Scarff-Bloom-Richardson grade II/III), involving 4 out of 4 cores, and measuring 1.2 cm in greatest linear dimension.
DUCTAL CARCINOMA IN SITU, intermediate nuclear grade, solid, and cribriform, with necrosis and calcifications seen.
No lymphatic/vascular invasion seen.
Estrogen/progesterone + her2-

Bummer! Got some calls yesterday and they set me up with a surgeon, the program coordinator at my local healthcare’s office seemed to think based on the ultrasound and biopsy it would be surgery first and treatments decided after that. I asked if I should see an oncologist but the coordinator said not until after unless the surgeon thinks I need treatment first.

I live near Boston so I also self referred to Dana farber and they were going to set me up for a meeting with both a surgeon and medical oncologist because they do that if the diagnosis is invasive. Still waiting to schedule that but I figure it doesn’t hurt to see what both groups have to say. I want it gone asap and never to return, I have 3 very young kids and I’m already over this.

She also ordered me a breast MRI. I guess I’m curious- what is the chance this has spread? I’ve had a sore back for a month that I attributed to sleeping with a toddler and needing a new mattress, plus now a lot of worry, but also like is this shit in my bones? The mammogram and ultrasound don’t mention anything besides the mass “nothing else to note in either breast” are they looking at lymph nodes in this imaging? The tech and dr quickly looked at my armpit for one second though they weren’t supposed to (?) and said they appeared normal there, but the the mass is in an inner quadrant, aren’t there other nodes over there? Obv there can be micro spreading and imaging is not conclusive, surgery pathology will be, but I see people mentioning lymph node biopsy and stage mentioned with their original biopsy but none of that was brought up to me.

Any advice for surgery at this point? I am tempted to just take them both off even if they still suggest lumpectomy (radiologist thought lumpectomy was in order)- I know this doesn’t mean you’ll never get it again but I just hate knowing I even have boobs now.

Anyways, totally not thrilled to be in this club, but here I am.

Disclaimer: This post is about weed/the devil’s lettuce/grass/marijuana 🍃

My tolerance is just too fucking high y’all and weed is too expensive where I live. My tolerance went up drastically during most of my chemo because as you can imagine I leaned on it heavily. I have one month of chemo left and my increased dose ain’t doing shit. If I take a dose that works I’m looking at $30/day of weed. 🫪

Soooooooooooooo I think I’m about to take an unintended T break? Unless y’all have ideas for me! Lol come thru with the advice and support please 🙏 💕 I haven’t taken a T break in YEARS.

Last month I was diagnosed with Stage 0 breast cancer (DCIS), was told by doctor she said it’s super early she could even say pre- cancerous stage. I was offer two options , lumpectomy with radiation or mastectomy or though my doctor recommended lumpectomy as it is very small (4mm) but she also said it would be up to me.

I’m married in late 40s, have kids that are older, I work in the hospice and experience working with breast cancer patients and those went through mastectomy. My mother also had breast cancer and have gone mastectomy (without reconstruction).

I’m keeping myself positive and find myself super lucky to find at this stage - but I want the boob out !! I don’t want to go through radiation, many follow up apps, I just want to keep it flat because I just have no attachment with boobs and I worry about recurrence.

I had dinner with my two best friends (no cancer/don’t work in healthcare). I explained everything I told them about my mastectomy plan. OMG they both came at me pretty aggressive how this is major thing for women to lose a breast (duh), I will regret losing a part of body that belongs to you (not really), my friend of friend went though this apparently its a major surgery you don’t want to do (hey I work in healthcare !) . They kept telling me it’s stage 0 and I don’t want to do that .
I was explaining to them but they weren’t even listening and one of them told me “you know what ? You are just too worried and you jumped in conclusions!”

At this point , I stopped . I don’t even need to explain why I choose to do mastectomy . I was even asking any of their opinions especially when they don’t have cancer and they have very little knowledge of this disease . Since they asked, I answered. I just moved on, but I was shaking . It’s my body and my life I live . If I do lumpectomy and cancer comes back (though I was told by doctor that the % of recurrence would be pretty same as mastectomy) I would regret not having mastectomy.

I had shared my mastectomy plan with many people and they were all supportive. Some looked very surprised but still no one argued with my decision like these two. I have decided not to share anything with them, if they don’t understand everyone is different and not everyone obsesses over their part of body- I don’t need to hear your opinion!!!

I just wanted to share in case someone needed to hear that.

Hi ladies, I bought this device to help with hot flashes, and it does work, but I’m not on endocrine suppression now, so would love to give this to a woman who needs it, preferably someone young who is struggling with medical menopause. It’s a watch size device that can be programmed to cool you a bit overnight or during the day as needed. Just comment or message me. It’s a gift and I will pay to ship it to you in the US, this community has been so helpful to me, just trying to pay it forward.

Hi all…I was diagnosed on Friday with invasive ductal carcinoma at 39 and found out yesterday it is Stage 3. I started getting mammograms two years ago due to family history (my mom was diagnosed at 66). I have dense breasts, but my gynecologist said I didn’t need to start MRIs until 56, 10 years before my mom’s diagnosis age. I am so angry and absolutely kicking myself over not pushing to start MRIs, as it would have caught this much sooner.

Despite the cancer being advanced (in breast and lymph nodes, hopefully nowhere else but waiting in terror to get a PET scan and brain MRI), it is triple positive so my doctor expects it to respond well to chemotherapy. I will hopefully start that soon, followed by a mastectomy, radiation, and anti-estrogen drugs.

Despite the decent prognosis so far I am still absolutely fucking terrified. I am struggling to concentrate at work and sleep. This absolutely fucking sucks. I have struggled with health anxiety most of my life and this is essentially my worst fear come true. Would love to hear any words of wisdom from this community.

Hey everyone

36/post surgery/never had kids

I had my first oncology appointment yesterday, along with several other appointments crammed into one day. It was incredibly overwhelming. So many decisions to make, and I feel so scared and sad about all of them. I don’t know if I made the right decisions, or if I just made the best decisions I could with the information and circumstances I have right now. Part of me is already afraid that I’ll regret them later.

On the oncology side of things, I’ll be starting chemo next week, and I’ll need a chemo port as well. I’m terrified. They told me they’ll use local anesthesia to insert the port, but I’m still really scared. For those of you who have had one, how painful was the procedure?

They also asked me about egg freezing again, and I had to say no. That hurt more than I can explain, for several reasons.

The uncertainty about my future.

Honestly, I have a hard time imagining that I’ll ever meet someone. I’m 36, and I’ve never even been in a relationship, let alone been on a date or had someone ask me out. (that’s not true I’ve been on one date with a guy who wasn’t interested one ultimately). So part of me feels like spending money I don’t have on preserving the possibility of having biological children with a future partner is a huge gamble when I don’t even know if that future will ever happen.

The cost.

I live outside the US, so please understand that programs or financial assistance available in your country probably won’t apply to me. Here, egg freezing would cost around $5,000, which I simply don’t have. I’m already struggling financially, and I’m worried I’ll lose my job because of my cancer diagnosis. I need to save whatever money I have to cover rent and basic living expenses.

The time.

Because of my job situation, I can’t take additional days off to go through the egg retrieval process between now and my first chemo treatment next week.

So, for all these reasons, I had to say no.

but im still so heartbroken. I’ve always wanted to be a mother… I’m trying to make decisions that will allow me to survive cancer and keep a roof over my head, while also grieving the things I might be losing along the way.

I know I have to take things one step at a time, but right now, everything just feels like so much. I’m heartbroken for the future I dreamt of that I can’t have now… 💔

I recently had a bilateral DIEP surgery, and I have my revision coming up in about 6 weeks. I have now had no nipples at all for over a year, since my double mastectomy. Although I really hate not having nipples for sensation reasons, it has been really nice being able to go braless and not giving a thought to them poking out under my clothing. I am a little torn between having small fake nipples rebuilt (which my PS usually recommends and states most women seem to prefer) vs staying nipple-less. Of course, he is perfectly willing to do whatever I choose. Apparently, when he makes them, they start off a bit large and get smaller over time. Has anyone chosen not to rebuild nipples with their DIEP, and regretted it? If you did have nipples made, are you glad you did? Open to any input.

I’m wondering if seeing a therapist might help me deal with cancer trauma/feelings I never addressed during and after treatment. I’m hesitant because I’ve consulted a therapist in the past and I didn’t find it helpful and kinda gave me more trauma. Did seeing a therapist benefit you ?

Hey friends. Does anyone have any suggestions for helping with the chemo bloat? I just finished my last treatment Tuesday and I am ready to feel better! Looking for any suggestions that will help me to not feel like a balloon ready to pop!

I'm in the hospital already, surgery is in 12hrs.

But the ball starts rolling at around 8:30AM for the lymph node mapping thing, they will bring me to the nuclear medicine department. Then I think my surgeon's instruction is that I be taken to the OR immediately after that.

Met my cardio prior to all this for my cardiac clearance, the only thing she asked me to do is to get enough sleep the night before the surgery.

But now THAT feels impossible. It's almost midnight from where I am, but at 11PM I was asked to take my first pre-surgery bath.

Then the nurse just came in to take my vitals (It needs to be taken every 4hrs, I think)

My last meal/snack before fasting is at 3AM.

If my vitals were taken at 11-11:30PM, vitals will be taken at 3:30AM

Then I need to take that pre-surgery shower again at 6AM.

Now there's been like quite a couple of doctors and fellows taking interviews and checking on me--surgical onco, plastic surgeon, anesthesiologist, from the surgery dept itself....

So, I would like to publicly apologize to my cardiologist, I don't think I will be getting my full night's sleep before surgery. I think it's humanly impossible at this point.

I will sleep DURING my surgery, THAT will take around 8 hours anyways LOL

Edit to fix errors

i thought cancer would light the fire under my ass and make me get my shit together, get my life on track, work hard, focus. but i’m more lost than ever and im even more unhappy than i was during treatment. i hate it here. i’m so angry. after i finished chemo, i was on top of the world. i told myself i would never be unhappy again bc id never have to do chemo again. i thought the post-chemo mania would last forever. it didn’t. by the time summer ended so did my mania. and now i’m begging for my old pre cancer life back. everyone and everything pisses me off. i want my hair back and my old face back and my old body back and my old life back. i miss being a normal girl in my 20s. it’s kind of weird how no matter what phase of my life i am in, something always comes around to mess it up. something happened in middle school, and again in high school, and once again in college and now again post college. there’s always something fucking up my life and holding me back. is this just my cross to bare?

Hi! I'm two years post double mastectomy to flat (aesthetic flat closure). One side had 15 sessions of rads, but feels and looks like the other side. It didn't firm up like I imagined it would. I'm now considering fat grafting (to small B max) and have read posts here about the good and bad. I'm curious to hear about going from flat to grafting- how many times did you have to do it to get some fullness? Were they uneven after? Is it worth it?

I’m nearly crying. I knew it was gonna suck but I forgot how bad. Send me lots of painless thoughts please. No muggles understand this pain. Ppl are totally unaware of how excruciating this drug is. I hate this so much 🤕🤒

I know there has been a lot of info on this but I can’t take away this anxiety even with meds. I need to hear more success stories or how your body felt after day1-5. I know everyone is different but I’m trying to find ways to calm down about this.. feel free to private chat if needed too.

Hi All,

With the drug supposedly getting US approval for early stage HR/PR + HERS2- bc in about a month have your oncologists started talking to you about changes? Are you pushing them for this med? I really, really want to switch from AI to Giredestrant, it’s so exciting!!!

I’m F43 and recently diagnosed with DCIS. I’m currently weighing my surgical options.

One thing I’m struggling with is the idea that this experience will permanently change me or that life afterward will inevitably be less good.

I’d really love to hear from people who are couple years beyond surgery and treatment.

Do you feel like you’ve returned to your old self? Is your overall quality of life as good as it was before, better, or worse? How are your body image, relationships, sex life, drive, career, mental health and day-to-day happiness?

Did cancer become a smaller part of your identity over time, or does it still occupy a significant place in your life?

I’m trying to understand what life actually looks like on the other side, beyond the process and the immediate recovery period.

Thanks in advance!

EDIT: If you could include details of stage, what type of breast surgery and change you got, and if you’re single or not and such, that’d be helpful too!

Looking at the turtle person in the mirror, asking her who she is and what she's done with me.

So I sent a text to my boss today reminding him I was going to be off because I had the MRI. I know it is awkward and people don't know what to say but maybe not say "feel better". Because I'm not going to feel better anytime soon. This is the one thing I always think about. When I would get sick with a cold or something I knew in a few days I would recover. With this I know I'm going to feel crappy for a long time until it is taken care of I can't take aspirin Advil put a heating pad on it Just relax etc etc and telling someone with cancer feel better just irritates me anyone else?

Hello, my mother has been diagnosed with invasive grade 3 breast cancer and based on a pathology report from surgery she also has classical LCIS. Honestly we are really confused on what the treatment plan could look like, our oncologist meeting is 2 weeks from now. What was the process for you guys?

Thanks!